Early Morning
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She awakened to the sound of the front door quietly closing, signaling that he was about to be well on his way to school.
Taking a deep breath, she sat up in bed and looked over at the alarm clock on the bedside table which read that it was a little after six in the morning. It’s now or you have to wait another day, she told herself while she stretched and reached down for a plastic bag hidden away in one of the drawers.
As she stood up, she realized that her heart was nearly pounding in her chest at the thought of actually being right. But once again, her mind told her to just calm down and don’t stress about it. Soon enough she would have proof that it was all just in her head and the move was what was really causing her to be so tired.
The bathroom lights seemed all too bright when she flicked them on. She squinted for a moment, really only to make sure that she didn’t trip over anything that had been left on the floor. Before she decided it was time to get comfortable – she unwrapped the plastic around the little pink box.
Silently, she read the instruction on what to do, although she already knew all of it after researching the steps to take online just the night before.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered to herself in the attempts of quieting her heartbeat.
Her body wiggled as she got comfortable on the cold seat, cursing at the stinging chilliness, but she knew that first thing in the morning was the best time for these kinds of things. Once she heard a steady flow, she uncapped the stick and counted to five.
The instructions told her that she would need to wait three minutes, but she knew she couldn’t do that in the seemingly empty bathroom. It would be much too difficult to stay distracted from what was staring right back at her.
So she grabbed the stick and went back to their room where she knew she could find her laptop exactly where it was left the night before. As she placed the test, face down, on the nightstand her computer screen got brighter.
A smile graced her lips as her favorite social networking site loaded up and the scrolling could begin. It was first thing in the morning and the pictures were a mixed between early morning thoughts and last night’s worries. Before she realized it, about fifteen minutes had passed and she was thankful to have something to keep her subconscious busy.
Realizing that she was now going to be able to tell that annoying voice in the back of her head to shut it; she reached for the stick and took another deep breath. She flipped it over and braced herself for the single pink line to be waiting on the other side.
Two pinks lines. There were too little pink lines on the stick she was staring at.
The smile that she wore proudly only seconds ago, completely melted away. “This has to be a mistake,” she mumbled, while reaching around for that box again. “There is no way that this is correct.”
Her hand came in contact with the soft cardboard and she wasted no time ripping it off the floor and as close to her face as possible. “One pink lines means ‘not pregnant’ and two pink lines means ‘pregnant.’” She read that same sentence at least three more times before looking back down at the slim pregnancy stick in her hand.
“No,” she whispered before breaking down into heavy sobs.
At first she did nothing, but cry for a good ten minutes and then she paused. With a few tears running silently down her cheeks, she reached for her phone and sent a simple text that asked for a phone call when the moment was right.
She didn’t even have to wait more than five minutes before her phone lit up again. Gingerly, her finger swiped the screen. “Hello?” Her voice croaked out.
“Is everything okay?” A familiar female voice spoke a little too loud on the other end.
She paused not knowing what to say on the phone. “Can you come over?”
Her friend sighed, probably irritated with the fact that she hadn’t answered the question and that it was now only a little before seven o’clock. “I can be there in ten minutes, but I can’t stay. I have to make it to class on time today.”
Quietly, she muttered back saying that was fine and hung up the phone. It looked like today was going to consist of a lot of waiting around on her end. Deciding that sitting around in bed staring at her hands wasn’t going to make time go by any quicker, she forced herself up and headed to the kitchen where she knew some freshly baked banana bread would be waiting.
When the slim knife cut through the soft loaf of bread, she watched as it slowly sunk deeper and deeper until it reached the bottom of the plate. At first, she just wanted one piece, but then decided that maybe two could help the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. The apartment was nothing, but silence as she chewed her food as quietly as she could.
Finally, there was a quiet knock on the door. She fought back the tears that were forming again, and carefully opened the door to see one of her new best friends standing before her with a little plastic bag of cheerios.
“Morning!” Her friend, Sara, chirped happily.
No words formed in her cotton-like mouth, so all she could do was give a weak smile and usher her happy friend through the threshold.
Once they were in the safety of her walls, Sara turned quickly on her heel with a look of determination in her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
Still words seemed to fail her, so instead she quietly paced back to the bedroom where that blasted pink stick was resting carefully next to her pillow. When she picked it up she stared at it one more time, hoping that she had just thought the whole thing up.
With those pink lines in the exact same place she left them, she walked back to Sara who was making herself comfortable on a barstool. Not saying a single word, she came up beside her and placed the stick on the placemat in front of her.
“What’s this?”
Her back was now to her friend as she went back to the breakfast she was eating prior. She could feel her friend’s eyes penetrating through her back, but couldn’t bring herself to turn around and face what she already knew was true.
Sara’s mouth was no doubt agape with surprise before she was able to stutter out the words, “You.. You are -”
“Pregnant.” She finished the sentence for her.
Her friend’s eyes grew while going from her face to her stomach and back again. “I- I don’t know what to say. Are you okay with this?”
Even though she wanted so badly to be strong, she couldn’t fight the tears anymore. It all made sense now why she had been so emotional about stupid things and causing stupid little fights. “Sara, I don’t know. I want to be happy, but I’m scared.”
Jumping of the barstool, Sara made her way around the island and wrapped her arms around her sobbing frame. “Why are you scared?”
“Because there is no way we can afford a baby right now. We just moved here and let alone a one bedroom apartment. Where would we put the crib? In the closet?”
Knowing her friend just wanted to lighten the mood, she chuckled. “It is an option.”
The girl laughed along with her for a moment. “I just don’t know what to do, Sara.”
Sara sighed and took a step away, running her hand over her face. “Now it all makes sense that all you asked was if I could come over. My fiancé looked at me and asked if you were okay and I assured him you were. Have you told him yet?”
She thought back to that morning when she quietly felt his lips grazed my forehead, but was in too much of a haze respond appropriately. “No. I don’t want to bother him while he is in his classes.”
Her friend glanced at the clock briefly. “You need to tell him. I know you don’t want to be alone right now, but you just have to get through work today and -”
“I’m not going to work.”
There was a pause, “Didn’t you just start this job yesterday?”
“Yes, but there is no way I’m going to fully be able to concentrate on everything I am supposed to be learning while stressing about how to approach this growing situation.”
Sara looked at the clock again, “Just do me a favor and make she you call in sick or something. And before you make any decision about how to handle this.. this pregnancy, please promise me that you will tell him the moment he gets home.”
The girl winced at the ‘P’ word, but gave her close friend the answer she wanted to hear. Sara apologized over and over again about leaving her alone, but she was assured that it was okay this would give her plenty of time to think things through.
Locking the door behind her friend, the young girl of only twenty-one went back to her banana bread and thought about when something like this could have happened. The only time frame that seemed to make sense was when they travelled up here to actually start looking for an apartment before school started and were holed up on a motel room for five days straight.
How could we have been so stupid?
Since it was only the second month of school, she was accustomed to her boyfriend’s class schedule. She knew that he would be coming home any minute now and she still didn’t have the slightest idea of how she was going to tell him.
He did know that she was home though because she sent a brief text message saying that she wasn’t feeling well and decided to call out of work. All he had replied was that he hoped she was feeling a little better when he got home, otherwise he was going to blow off his homework in order to stay in bed with her.
At least, she knew that she was happy with him. She knew that when it came down to it, he would be a great father one day. She also remembered the day they sat her father down and told them that they would be moving in together and both sets of parents reminded them not to have kids right away.
Both parties assured them that it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.
Ha.
There was a slight click heard coming from the living room, meaning that someone was unlocking the door and she froze completely. He was the only other one who had a key to their place and she just knew right then and there she was ready.
But would she tell him?
From the bedroom, she could see a light reflected from the hallway and she could see it disappear just as quickly. “Baby?” His voice echoed through the quiet apartment.
“Over here,” her voice came out so soft she wasn’t even sure if he heard her, but within a couple seconds he was turning the corner that led to their room.
His face lit up at the sight of his girlfriend sitting up in the full sized bed. “Hi baby. How are you feeling?”
She shrugged her shoulders as she watched him walk over to his side of the room and put his backpack down. “How were your classes?”
With his back towards her, trying to find something in one of his many folders, he answered her quickly. “It was the usual. All my professors were okay with me missing class yesterday and it helped when I said that you were sick and you texted me saying you still weren’t feeling good.”
“Oh yeah. That’s good.”
He stopped rummaging around for a moment and turned to look at his girlfriend. Something about her didn’t seem right at all. Her face seemed pale and her eyes quite puffy. “Is everything okay, my love?”
That got a small smirk out of her, but once again she just shrugged at his question. He put down his school supplies and crawled on top of the bed with her, before putting his long hand across her forehead. She didn’t seem to feel any warmer to the touch than usual.
As his hand recoiled, he decided to try a different approach. “Do you have a headache?”
She shook her head.
“Stomachache?”
That got her to shrug once again. He was trying hard not to get frustrated with her because this was just one of the things that she did when something was bothering her, but he really wanted to get her to talk.
Seeing that whatever this could be was serious, he thought maybe a joke would help her to open up. “Then what is it, baby? What? Are you pregnant?” He added a charming smile at the end to imply that he wasn’t serious.
To his surprise though, she nodded vigorously and combusted into a frenzy of tears.
She noticed that even though he tried to smile with his sentence, he face faltered when she started crying. She couldn’t help it. She had been trying hard enough to keep it together, but that really was the last straw.
For a moment, he just stared at her. He watched as she sniffled and cradled her body closer to herself, but what fascinated him the most was how the tears just delicately trickled down her cheeks.
“When did you find out?” He blurted.
She sniffled once more before taking a deep breath and looking at her boyfriend. He was in awe with how her speckled eyes looked even more magical when glossed over. “I took a test this morning.”
Scooting closer to her body heat, he asked another question. “Just one?”
“After I took the first one, I called Sara and she calmed me down a little bit. She texted me a little while later saying that if I didn’t want to tell you today, I should take another test tomorrow, just to be sure, but I couldn’t wait.”
“What did the other one say?” He asked as she began to chew the bottom of her lip.
“The same thing as the first.”
Something inside of him swelled as he thought about the little life growing little fingers and toes inside of the love of his life. She looked so terrified to even be telling him any of this, but all he could see was just another reason why he wanted to be with this beautiful woman forever.
“We can get married.”
Her eyes looked up quickly, round and alert. “What?”
He sat up this time, taking both of her hands in his. “If you want to make this a little easier, we can get married.”
The bottom lip chewing continued and he could almost see the wheels in her head spinning. “No.”
He stayed silent, not knowing how to react to her answer seeing as it wasn’t the one he was hoping to get.
“Listen to me real quick,” she started when she felt his body go rigid under her touch. “I will not marry you because I am pregnant. I want you to marry me because you want to be with me.”
Now he thought about what she said and realized that she had a point.
“Alicia,” he started, while stretching over her body to be able to get off the bed and onto the floor on her side of the room. He reached for both of her hands and kneeled on the ground next to her. “I’ve wanted to ask you to marry me since the day I kissed you. Something deep within me told me that you were the one girl who would change my life in many ways.
First, you made me change my lifestyle, but in an amazing way. You made me realize that going back to school was necessary for me to be able to make the career choices I wanted. You’ve made me realize when it’s important to pick and choose my battles. You made me want to never spend another moment away from you which is why only a few months ago, I asked you to move in with me.”
He looked up at the beautiful mother of his unborn child, just to see her eyes brimming over with tears. The difference though was that she was smiling and it was a real, happy smile.
“So let me ask you this properly,” he started taking a deep breath. “Alicia, will you please do me the honor of being my wife and the mother of my children?”
Taking a deep breath, she sat up in bed and looked over at the alarm clock on the bedside table which read that it was a little after six in the morning. It’s now or you have to wait another day, she told herself while she stretched and reached down for a plastic bag hidden away in one of the drawers.
As she stood up, she realized that her heart was nearly pounding in her chest at the thought of actually being right. But once again, her mind told her to just calm down and don’t stress about it. Soon enough she would have proof that it was all just in her head and the move was what was really causing her to be so tired.
The bathroom lights seemed all too bright when she flicked them on. She squinted for a moment, really only to make sure that she didn’t trip over anything that had been left on the floor. Before she decided it was time to get comfortable – she unwrapped the plastic around the little pink box.
Silently, she read the instruction on what to do, although she already knew all of it after researching the steps to take online just the night before.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered to herself in the attempts of quieting her heartbeat.
Her body wiggled as she got comfortable on the cold seat, cursing at the stinging chilliness, but she knew that first thing in the morning was the best time for these kinds of things. Once she heard a steady flow, she uncapped the stick and counted to five.
The instructions told her that she would need to wait three minutes, but she knew she couldn’t do that in the seemingly empty bathroom. It would be much too difficult to stay distracted from what was staring right back at her.
So she grabbed the stick and went back to their room where she knew she could find her laptop exactly where it was left the night before. As she placed the test, face down, on the nightstand her computer screen got brighter.
A smile graced her lips as her favorite social networking site loaded up and the scrolling could begin. It was first thing in the morning and the pictures were a mixed between early morning thoughts and last night’s worries. Before she realized it, about fifteen minutes had passed and she was thankful to have something to keep her subconscious busy.
Realizing that she was now going to be able to tell that annoying voice in the back of her head to shut it; she reached for the stick and took another deep breath. She flipped it over and braced herself for the single pink line to be waiting on the other side.
Two pinks lines. There were too little pink lines on the stick she was staring at.
The smile that she wore proudly only seconds ago, completely melted away. “This has to be a mistake,” she mumbled, while reaching around for that box again. “There is no way that this is correct.”
Her hand came in contact with the soft cardboard and she wasted no time ripping it off the floor and as close to her face as possible. “One pink lines means ‘not pregnant’ and two pink lines means ‘pregnant.’” She read that same sentence at least three more times before looking back down at the slim pregnancy stick in her hand.
“No,” she whispered before breaking down into heavy sobs.
At first she did nothing, but cry for a good ten minutes and then she paused. With a few tears running silently down her cheeks, she reached for her phone and sent a simple text that asked for a phone call when the moment was right.
She didn’t even have to wait more than five minutes before her phone lit up again. Gingerly, her finger swiped the screen. “Hello?” Her voice croaked out.
“Is everything okay?” A familiar female voice spoke a little too loud on the other end.
She paused not knowing what to say on the phone. “Can you come over?”
Her friend sighed, probably irritated with the fact that she hadn’t answered the question and that it was now only a little before seven o’clock. “I can be there in ten minutes, but I can’t stay. I have to make it to class on time today.”
Quietly, she muttered back saying that was fine and hung up the phone. It looked like today was going to consist of a lot of waiting around on her end. Deciding that sitting around in bed staring at her hands wasn’t going to make time go by any quicker, she forced herself up and headed to the kitchen where she knew some freshly baked banana bread would be waiting.
When the slim knife cut through the soft loaf of bread, she watched as it slowly sunk deeper and deeper until it reached the bottom of the plate. At first, she just wanted one piece, but then decided that maybe two could help the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. The apartment was nothing, but silence as she chewed her food as quietly as she could.
Finally, there was a quiet knock on the door. She fought back the tears that were forming again, and carefully opened the door to see one of her new best friends standing before her with a little plastic bag of cheerios.
“Morning!” Her friend, Sara, chirped happily.
No words formed in her cotton-like mouth, so all she could do was give a weak smile and usher her happy friend through the threshold.
Once they were in the safety of her walls, Sara turned quickly on her heel with a look of determination in her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
Still words seemed to fail her, so instead she quietly paced back to the bedroom where that blasted pink stick was resting carefully next to her pillow. When she picked it up she stared at it one more time, hoping that she had just thought the whole thing up.
With those pink lines in the exact same place she left them, she walked back to Sara who was making herself comfortable on a barstool. Not saying a single word, she came up beside her and placed the stick on the placemat in front of her.
“What’s this?”
Her back was now to her friend as she went back to the breakfast she was eating prior. She could feel her friend’s eyes penetrating through her back, but couldn’t bring herself to turn around and face what she already knew was true.
Sara’s mouth was no doubt agape with surprise before she was able to stutter out the words, “You.. You are -”
“Pregnant.” She finished the sentence for her.
Her friend’s eyes grew while going from her face to her stomach and back again. “I- I don’t know what to say. Are you okay with this?”
Even though she wanted so badly to be strong, she couldn’t fight the tears anymore. It all made sense now why she had been so emotional about stupid things and causing stupid little fights. “Sara, I don’t know. I want to be happy, but I’m scared.”
Jumping of the barstool, Sara made her way around the island and wrapped her arms around her sobbing frame. “Why are you scared?”
“Because there is no way we can afford a baby right now. We just moved here and let alone a one bedroom apartment. Where would we put the crib? In the closet?”
Knowing her friend just wanted to lighten the mood, she chuckled. “It is an option.”
The girl laughed along with her for a moment. “I just don’t know what to do, Sara.”
Sara sighed and took a step away, running her hand over her face. “Now it all makes sense that all you asked was if I could come over. My fiancé looked at me and asked if you were okay and I assured him you were. Have you told him yet?”
She thought back to that morning when she quietly felt his lips grazed my forehead, but was in too much of a haze respond appropriately. “No. I don’t want to bother him while he is in his classes.”
Her friend glanced at the clock briefly. “You need to tell him. I know you don’t want to be alone right now, but you just have to get through work today and -”
“I’m not going to work.”
There was a pause, “Didn’t you just start this job yesterday?”
“Yes, but there is no way I’m going to fully be able to concentrate on everything I am supposed to be learning while stressing about how to approach this growing situation.”
Sara looked at the clock again, “Just do me a favor and make she you call in sick or something. And before you make any decision about how to handle this.. this pregnancy, please promise me that you will tell him the moment he gets home.”
The girl winced at the ‘P’ word, but gave her close friend the answer she wanted to hear. Sara apologized over and over again about leaving her alone, but she was assured that it was okay this would give her plenty of time to think things through.
Locking the door behind her friend, the young girl of only twenty-one went back to her banana bread and thought about when something like this could have happened. The only time frame that seemed to make sense was when they travelled up here to actually start looking for an apartment before school started and were holed up on a motel room for five days straight.
How could we have been so stupid?
***
Since it was only the second month of school, she was accustomed to her boyfriend’s class schedule. She knew that he would be coming home any minute now and she still didn’t have the slightest idea of how she was going to tell him.
He did know that she was home though because she sent a brief text message saying that she wasn’t feeling well and decided to call out of work. All he had replied was that he hoped she was feeling a little better when he got home, otherwise he was going to blow off his homework in order to stay in bed with her.
At least, she knew that she was happy with him. She knew that when it came down to it, he would be a great father one day. She also remembered the day they sat her father down and told them that they would be moving in together and both sets of parents reminded them not to have kids right away.
Both parties assured them that it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.
Ha.
There was a slight click heard coming from the living room, meaning that someone was unlocking the door and she froze completely. He was the only other one who had a key to their place and she just knew right then and there she was ready.
But would she tell him?
From the bedroom, she could see a light reflected from the hallway and she could see it disappear just as quickly. “Baby?” His voice echoed through the quiet apartment.
“Over here,” her voice came out so soft she wasn’t even sure if he heard her, but within a couple seconds he was turning the corner that led to their room.
His face lit up at the sight of his girlfriend sitting up in the full sized bed. “Hi baby. How are you feeling?”
She shrugged her shoulders as she watched him walk over to his side of the room and put his backpack down. “How were your classes?”
With his back towards her, trying to find something in one of his many folders, he answered her quickly. “It was the usual. All my professors were okay with me missing class yesterday and it helped when I said that you were sick and you texted me saying you still weren’t feeling good.”
“Oh yeah. That’s good.”
He stopped rummaging around for a moment and turned to look at his girlfriend. Something about her didn’t seem right at all. Her face seemed pale and her eyes quite puffy. “Is everything okay, my love?”
That got a small smirk out of her, but once again she just shrugged at his question. He put down his school supplies and crawled on top of the bed with her, before putting his long hand across her forehead. She didn’t seem to feel any warmer to the touch than usual.
As his hand recoiled, he decided to try a different approach. “Do you have a headache?”
She shook her head.
“Stomachache?”
That got her to shrug once again. He was trying hard not to get frustrated with her because this was just one of the things that she did when something was bothering her, but he really wanted to get her to talk.
Seeing that whatever this could be was serious, he thought maybe a joke would help her to open up. “Then what is it, baby? What? Are you pregnant?” He added a charming smile at the end to imply that he wasn’t serious.
To his surprise though, she nodded vigorously and combusted into a frenzy of tears.
She noticed that even though he tried to smile with his sentence, he face faltered when she started crying. She couldn’t help it. She had been trying hard enough to keep it together, but that really was the last straw.
For a moment, he just stared at her. He watched as she sniffled and cradled her body closer to herself, but what fascinated him the most was how the tears just delicately trickled down her cheeks.
“When did you find out?” He blurted.
She sniffled once more before taking a deep breath and looking at her boyfriend. He was in awe with how her speckled eyes looked even more magical when glossed over. “I took a test this morning.”
Scooting closer to her body heat, he asked another question. “Just one?”
“After I took the first one, I called Sara and she calmed me down a little bit. She texted me a little while later saying that if I didn’t want to tell you today, I should take another test tomorrow, just to be sure, but I couldn’t wait.”
“What did the other one say?” He asked as she began to chew the bottom of her lip.
“The same thing as the first.”
Something inside of him swelled as he thought about the little life growing little fingers and toes inside of the love of his life. She looked so terrified to even be telling him any of this, but all he could see was just another reason why he wanted to be with this beautiful woman forever.
“We can get married.”
Her eyes looked up quickly, round and alert. “What?”
He sat up this time, taking both of her hands in his. “If you want to make this a little easier, we can get married.”
The bottom lip chewing continued and he could almost see the wheels in her head spinning. “No.”
He stayed silent, not knowing how to react to her answer seeing as it wasn’t the one he was hoping to get.
“Listen to me real quick,” she started when she felt his body go rigid under her touch. “I will not marry you because I am pregnant. I want you to marry me because you want to be with me.”
Now he thought about what she said and realized that she had a point.
“Alicia,” he started, while stretching over her body to be able to get off the bed and onto the floor on her side of the room. He reached for both of her hands and kneeled on the ground next to her. “I’ve wanted to ask you to marry me since the day I kissed you. Something deep within me told me that you were the one girl who would change my life in many ways.
First, you made me change my lifestyle, but in an amazing way. You made me realize that going back to school was necessary for me to be able to make the career choices I wanted. You’ve made me realize when it’s important to pick and choose my battles. You made me want to never spend another moment away from you which is why only a few months ago, I asked you to move in with me.”
He looked up at the beautiful mother of his unborn child, just to see her eyes brimming over with tears. The difference though was that she was smiling and it was a real, happy smile.
“So let me ask you this properly,” he started taking a deep breath. “Alicia, will you please do me the honor of being my wife and the mother of my children?”