Disconnected
10
I woke up later to the sound of the four boys talking softly. I opened one eye to see them sitting in a circle on my bedroom floor.
“Why is he calling her?” Luke asked, running a hand through his hair. “They broke up, he publicly humiliated her, and now what? He wants her back?”
I saw my phone on the floor between them.
“Do you think that’s why she-“ Michael started, but Ashton cut him off with a shake of his head, about to explain, but I decided to save him the trouble.
“I’ve been having panic attacks since I was young.” I said softly. All four boys whipped their heads around and looked at me. “It’s from claustrophobia in big crowds and just in general. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m embarrassed about it.”
“Abs-“ Calum started, but I cut him off.
“And yes, my ex-boyfriend wants to get together with me, but you protective idiots don’t need to get so up in arms about it. I can handle it. It’s not going to happen. You guys really didn’t need to sit in here. I’m fine.”
Ashton rolled his eyes.
“That’s what we’re here for, Abby, so you’re going to have to get used to it.”
I rolled my eyes in response, then bit my lip before talking.
“Uhm, hey, guys, do you think I could talk to Luke alone?” I asked softly.
Michael and Calum started to get up, but Ashton was hesitant.
“Please, Ash, we really need to talk.”
Ashton sighed and got up, coming over to the bed and pulling me into a hug before leaving the room with the other two boys.
When we were alone, Luke looked at me and I patted the bed next to me.
He slowly came over and laid down next to me.
“First of all, I wanted to thank you for today.” I started.
Luke smiled and looked me in the eyes.
“It’s not a problem, Abs.” He said easily.
“The way you helped me today, Luke, you were so calm, it was like you knew what to do, like you’ve experienced it before.”
I wasn’t going to bring it up, and the look on Luke’s face instantly made me regret my decision. I reached over and took his hand in mine and he sighed.
“I really don’t want to talk about it, Abby.” He said, his voice wavering.
I smiled in a reassuring way.
“Okay, Luke, we don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know that we can whenever you want. I’m here.”
I squeezed his hand and he nodded as we laid on the bed in silence for a few minutes before I asked something else.
“What about why you were so mad this morning? Do you want to talk about that?”
I wanted to get Luke to open up and to trust me as much as I had opened up and trusted him over the past few weeks of our friendship.
He sighed and looked down at our intertwined hands for a minute before looking up and responding.
“It’s dumb. You’ll think I’m dumb. I was just jealous, that’s all. It’s gone now.”
He traced circles on my hand with his thumb.
“Jealous? Of who? Why?”
I was confused. Luke hadn’t mentioned a girl in his life to get jealous over.
“It doesn’t matter.” He said, waving it off.
I sighed. I wasn’t going to get any answers today. But I was still sleepy, and I yawned. Luke started to get up, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“Luke, can you stay with me? In the bed this time?” I asked softly, blushing.
Given the circumstances with this girl he was jealous about, I probably shouldn’t have been asking, but I was exhausted to my core, and emotionally drained, and all I wanted was to cuddle and sleep.
Luke bit his lip in thought, but then nodded, laying back down on the bed.
I cuddled into his side, no longer caring about boundaries, or walls, or whatever Ashton would read into it, I just wanted to be close to him.
Luke froze, but then almost immediately put an arm around me, pulling him into him.
“Get some sleep, Absy.” He murmured softly, starting to sing quietly in my ear.
“Thank you, Lukie.” I whispered before closing my eyes.
“Why is he calling her?” Luke asked, running a hand through his hair. “They broke up, he publicly humiliated her, and now what? He wants her back?”
I saw my phone on the floor between them.
“Do you think that’s why she-“ Michael started, but Ashton cut him off with a shake of his head, about to explain, but I decided to save him the trouble.
“I’ve been having panic attacks since I was young.” I said softly. All four boys whipped their heads around and looked at me. “It’s from claustrophobia in big crowds and just in general. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m embarrassed about it.”
“Abs-“ Calum started, but I cut him off.
“And yes, my ex-boyfriend wants to get together with me, but you protective idiots don’t need to get so up in arms about it. I can handle it. It’s not going to happen. You guys really didn’t need to sit in here. I’m fine.”
Ashton rolled his eyes.
“That’s what we’re here for, Abby, so you’re going to have to get used to it.”
I rolled my eyes in response, then bit my lip before talking.
“Uhm, hey, guys, do you think I could talk to Luke alone?” I asked softly.
Michael and Calum started to get up, but Ashton was hesitant.
“Please, Ash, we really need to talk.”
Ashton sighed and got up, coming over to the bed and pulling me into a hug before leaving the room with the other two boys.
When we were alone, Luke looked at me and I patted the bed next to me.
He slowly came over and laid down next to me.
“First of all, I wanted to thank you for today.” I started.
Luke smiled and looked me in the eyes.
“It’s not a problem, Abs.” He said easily.
“The way you helped me today, Luke, you were so calm, it was like you knew what to do, like you’ve experienced it before.”
I wasn’t going to bring it up, and the look on Luke’s face instantly made me regret my decision. I reached over and took his hand in mine and he sighed.
“I really don’t want to talk about it, Abby.” He said, his voice wavering.
I smiled in a reassuring way.
“Okay, Luke, we don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know that we can whenever you want. I’m here.”
I squeezed his hand and he nodded as we laid on the bed in silence for a few minutes before I asked something else.
“What about why you were so mad this morning? Do you want to talk about that?”
I wanted to get Luke to open up and to trust me as much as I had opened up and trusted him over the past few weeks of our friendship.
He sighed and looked down at our intertwined hands for a minute before looking up and responding.
“It’s dumb. You’ll think I’m dumb. I was just jealous, that’s all. It’s gone now.”
He traced circles on my hand with his thumb.
“Jealous? Of who? Why?”
I was confused. Luke hadn’t mentioned a girl in his life to get jealous over.
“It doesn’t matter.” He said, waving it off.
I sighed. I wasn’t going to get any answers today. But I was still sleepy, and I yawned. Luke started to get up, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“Luke, can you stay with me? In the bed this time?” I asked softly, blushing.
Given the circumstances with this girl he was jealous about, I probably shouldn’t have been asking, but I was exhausted to my core, and emotionally drained, and all I wanted was to cuddle and sleep.
Luke bit his lip in thought, but then nodded, laying back down on the bed.
I cuddled into his side, no longer caring about boundaries, or walls, or whatever Ashton would read into it, I just wanted to be close to him.
Luke froze, but then almost immediately put an arm around me, pulling him into him.
“Get some sleep, Absy.” He murmured softly, starting to sing quietly in my ear.
“Thank you, Lukie.” I whispered before closing my eyes.