Disconnected
26
When my prom was over, I changed into sweatpants and one of Luke's shirts before taking a beer and sitting on the back porch as the boys cleaned up the house. A minute later, I felt a presence sit on the chair next to me. It was silent for a minute before he spoke.
"Holly broke up with me." Ashton said, taking a swig of his own beer. "On prom night. How cliche."
I winced and shook my head in sympathy for my cousin.
"She's just not ready, Ash."
Ashton shook his head and stared straight ahead of him, sipping his drink. I sighed and waited for him to keep talking.
"Listen, Abby. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I uhm... When your ex boyfriend came to the studio that day, and I stayed behind..."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear the next part.
"Abby, he told me you tried to kill yourself. He told me that he saved your life and that's why you belong with him. Is that true?"
Ashton's voice cracked, and I winced, taking a sip of my beer.
"You what?" A soft voice came from the doorway to the porch. Tears instantly welled in my eyes at my boyfriend's voice.
"I uhm... Last year after my parents died I uhm..." I trailed off, not wanting to relive this. Luke came over and kneeled in front of my chair, kissing my forehead lightly.
"Abby, I'm so sorry." Ashton said from beside me. "I'm so sorry for not being there for you. I-"
"Stop. Ashton Irwin, you have nothing to be sorry for."
"But I do. I-"
"No." I said more firmly. "That's the past and he had no right to bring it up. I'm a little angry Holly sort of knows but I know you didn't tell her on purpose."
"I didn't. I swear."
"Okay. I believe you, I love you, Ash, okay?"
He nodded, and then I looked up and Luke and immediately cringed, noticing his face stained with tears.
"Lukie, baby?"
He was panicking. I could see it in his face and his chest heaving for breaths.
"Luke. C'mon, lovebug, I need you to breathe."
I put a hand in his hair and started running it gently through the mess of blonde.
Ashton stood up and went into the kitchen and I kept caressing Luke's hair, kissing his cheek until his breathing started to even out.
"I-I'm sorry." He chocked out leaning his weight into me,
"Baby, this is nothing to be sorry about, okay?" I assured him.
"I just... The thought of you not being here with me I-I..."
"Lukie, I promise you that that was all in the past, okay?" I said softly as Ashton came out with a bottle of water that I took and handed to Luke. Then, he went back inside to keep cleaning up as Calum and Michael came outside.
"Why didn't you just tell us?" Michael asked.
"I didn't think it was important, you know?" I said, wiping a tear from my eyes. "It's just like that asshole to bring it up to you."
"Abs, we're here for you, you know that right?" Calum asked. "We're a family, and when one of us is in a tough spot, the others help them out."
"I know. I'm not in a tough spot anymore though, that's the thing. I'm finally happy. I'm here with my new family and my boyfriend and I have the job of my dreams. I couldn't be happier. But you know who's hurting? Ashton. Holly broke up with him tonight and we need to cheer him up."
Michael and Calum nodded, going back inside as I looked at Luke, who was still clung to my body.
"I love you, you know that?" I asked, kissing his hair.
"I love you so much, Abby."
"I promise not to keep secrets from you anymore. That was scary being on the other side of that." I said gently.
"I know. I'm sorry you had to see that."
"Darling, you don't need to sorry. Never apologize for something you can't control. Now are you ready to go inside?"
Luke slowly got off me, and we made our way inside, where the boys were all already sitting, in one big cuddle pile on the couch, Ashton in the middle. I smiled at the sight and pulled Luke over to join them.
For right now, we were all going to be okay.
"Holly broke up with me." Ashton said, taking a swig of his own beer. "On prom night. How cliche."
I winced and shook my head in sympathy for my cousin.
"She's just not ready, Ash."
Ashton shook his head and stared straight ahead of him, sipping his drink. I sighed and waited for him to keep talking.
"Listen, Abby. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I uhm... When your ex boyfriend came to the studio that day, and I stayed behind..."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear the next part.
"Abby, he told me you tried to kill yourself. He told me that he saved your life and that's why you belong with him. Is that true?"
Ashton's voice cracked, and I winced, taking a sip of my beer.
"You what?" A soft voice came from the doorway to the porch. Tears instantly welled in my eyes at my boyfriend's voice.
"I uhm... Last year after my parents died I uhm..." I trailed off, not wanting to relive this. Luke came over and kneeled in front of my chair, kissing my forehead lightly.
"Abby, I'm so sorry." Ashton said from beside me. "I'm so sorry for not being there for you. I-"
"Stop. Ashton Irwin, you have nothing to be sorry for."
"But I do. I-"
"No." I said more firmly. "That's the past and he had no right to bring it up. I'm a little angry Holly sort of knows but I know you didn't tell her on purpose."
"I didn't. I swear."
"Okay. I believe you, I love you, Ash, okay?"
He nodded, and then I looked up and Luke and immediately cringed, noticing his face stained with tears.
"Lukie, baby?"
He was panicking. I could see it in his face and his chest heaving for breaths.
"Luke. C'mon, lovebug, I need you to breathe."
I put a hand in his hair and started running it gently through the mess of blonde.
Ashton stood up and went into the kitchen and I kept caressing Luke's hair, kissing his cheek until his breathing started to even out.
"I-I'm sorry." He chocked out leaning his weight into me,
"Baby, this is nothing to be sorry about, okay?" I assured him.
"I just... The thought of you not being here with me I-I..."
"Lukie, I promise you that that was all in the past, okay?" I said softly as Ashton came out with a bottle of water that I took and handed to Luke. Then, he went back inside to keep cleaning up as Calum and Michael came outside.
"Why didn't you just tell us?" Michael asked.
"I didn't think it was important, you know?" I said, wiping a tear from my eyes. "It's just like that asshole to bring it up to you."
"Abs, we're here for you, you know that right?" Calum asked. "We're a family, and when one of us is in a tough spot, the others help them out."
"I know. I'm not in a tough spot anymore though, that's the thing. I'm finally happy. I'm here with my new family and my boyfriend and I have the job of my dreams. I couldn't be happier. But you know who's hurting? Ashton. Holly broke up with him tonight and we need to cheer him up."
Michael and Calum nodded, going back inside as I looked at Luke, who was still clung to my body.
"I love you, you know that?" I asked, kissing his hair.
"I love you so much, Abby."
"I promise not to keep secrets from you anymore. That was scary being on the other side of that." I said gently.
"I know. I'm sorry you had to see that."
"Darling, you don't need to sorry. Never apologize for something you can't control. Now are you ready to go inside?"
Luke slowly got off me, and we made our way inside, where the boys were all already sitting, in one big cuddle pile on the couch, Ashton in the middle. I smiled at the sight and pulled Luke over to join them.
For right now, we were all going to be okay.