Do You Know Me

　　Do you know who I am?

　　Maybe the better question is, do you care?

　　I highly doubt the answer is yes. To either question. You see me every day, I know you do. But you never speak to me. You barely even look at me. You give me a passing sneer. But nothing else.

　　I bet if anyone ever tells you about me you’ll have a look of utter confusion on your face and ask who in the world I am.

　　Nevermind that once upon a time, before high school and before we got involved with different things, we were best friends. Nevermind that our mum’s are still best friends. Or that our families have dinner together every other week.

　　I won’t tell anyone that we used to take baths together. Or that we spent many an afternoon in detention together for terrorizing Mrs. Lake, the worst teacher anyone has ever had. I won’t tell anyone that I was your first kiss, even if I did punch you afterwards.

　　You know me. I know you do. But you don’t know who I am. And you don’t care about me. Once upon a time we were thick as thieves but now...Now I’m writing a suicide note and it’s addressed to you.

　　You could have saved me, you know. If you weren’t such a jerk. If for just a moment you’d put aside high school B.S. and been my best friend again.

　　I love you Drew...Even if you hate me now.

　　With tears in my eyes I folded the letter. I must have read it a hundred times since Annie’s mum gave me the envelope. I had known that Annie was having a hard time, hell I gave her a hard time. But I never knew it was this bad. I saw her everyday. Spent hours with her twice a month. I should have seen it. But I didn’t pay her any mind. I ignored her or tormented her.

　　The only thing holding me together was knowing that she hadn’t been successful. That right now she was in a hospital bed recovering. I wiped my face and stood up from the waiting room chair. I needed to see her. I needed to know she was really okay. Her mum and Dr. James said she was fine, that she’d be fine. But I needed to be sure.

　　“You okay, Drew?” Annie’s mum asked.

　　“I need to see her, Mrs. King.”

　　She smiled a watery smile and told me the room number. We were allowed to see her, we didn’t have to stay in the waiting room, but no one could stand seeing her pale face on those starchy pillows or hearing all those monitors beeping. Every time Mrs. King came out her face was streaked with tears that showed no signs of stopping.

　　I walked down the hall, my heart beating a mile a minute and my hands growing clammier and clammier with each step. When I reached her door I took in a deep shaking breath before I opened the door. I expected a creek or anything to emit from the hinges but it opened effortlessly.

　　I kept my eyes on my feet until I reached the bed, not wanting to see her from the door where I could still turn away. When I finally lifted my eyes from my feet I turned them to hers. I let my eyes travel slowly up her still form, hoping I’d be stronger once I finally reached her face. But when her porcelain face came into view I lost it.

　　Her eyes were closed but she didn’t look peaceful. She looked like she was fighting a losing battle with herself. Her cheeks were sunken in and she had a massive case of coon eyes. Her lips, that were always the perfect shade of red were so pale I almost didn’t see them. I lifted my hands and brushed her blonde hair that was usually so full and curly but now was laying in a stringy mass, behind her ear.

　　“I’m so sorry Annie. I don’t hate you. I never did. You’ll always be my Anna Banana and you need to wake up so we can start over. We’ll be best friends again, and no one will break us apart this time. I won’t let them.”

　　“Drew?” At first I didn’t know where my name came from but then I saw her eyes flutter.

　　“Annie,” I breathed before tentatively pulling her into a gentle hug.

　　“Water,” she croaked against my neck.

　　I laid her back as gently as I could. I looked around the room frantically looking for some water for her before my eyes landed on the pitcher resting on the bedside table. I was beyond relieved when I lifted it and it was heavy. I poured her a glass then slid my arm under her back and eased her into a sitting position and tipped the cup towards her pale lips. As the cool liquid slid down her throat she sighed. I set the cup down then returned her to the bed.

　　“Drew?”

　　“Yeah?”

　　“Who broke us apart?” I sighed and rubbed my face.

　　“The guys. They were going on about how we couldn’t be just friends and about how I shouldn’t be hanging out with someone like you.”

　　“Like me?”

　　“You are something of a nerd, Annie.” I smiled at her.

　　“Well you’re a meat head.”

　　“I know. And I’m so sorry. I’m gonna kick all their asses for making me give you up.”

　　“Who made you treat me like dirt?”

　　“They didn’t believe I really cut you out of my life. They thought we were just pretending. I had to prove that I was done with you. I had to show that I was one of them.”

　　“Why did you want to be with them? We could have gotten through high school together and we could have laughed at their stupidness behind their backs.”

　　Like we used to. She didn’t say it but I heard it none the less. I sighed and motioned for her to make room on the bed. I knew that this was against hospital rules but I just wanted to hold her when I told her about all the shit the guys made me do and put me through.

　　I crawled onto the bed with her and pulled her close to my side, and pressed a kiss against her forehead, like I would do when she had a nightmare or a storm scared her.

　　“I was so tired of being a loser Annie. We had fun and we never had a problem with not being popular in middle school, but high school is different. I didn’t want to spend the next four years miserable and hoping that things would get better after we graduated.”

　　“So you left me behind.”

　　“And I have never regretted anything more. I love you Anna Banana.”

　　“I love you too Drew. But are you gonna go back to being a meat head when I go back to school.”

　　“No. Never. We’re gonna walk down the halls arm and arm and everyone is gonna think we’re dating, just like in middle school. And we’ll say ‘Ewwwww, NO!’ when they ask and make lemon faces.”

　　“I like the sound of that.”

　　“Me too. Me too.”

　　Just then her mum came into the room, “Drew? Is everything okay?”

　　Then she looked at the bed and her face split into the biggest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. She rushed over to us and pulled Annie into a hug and tears spilled from her eyes, but these were different. These were tears of joy. This was knowing her little girl was really okay.