Oliver Thorton

Oliver was not quite sure what was happening with his hair, but it certainly was not this stubborn the last time he had attempted to style it. He had held the washroom hostage since he got off of work at 3:15 exactly, attempting to get ready for dinner at 7:00. James peed in the kitchen sink. Thomas thankfully had more class. He peed in a bottle and left it outside of the bathroom door, asking to be spilt. Johanna scrunched her nose and moved it aside cautiously with her toe as she banged on the bathroom door.

“For heaven’s sake Oliver! It’s not a date! You are worse than a female, I swear.”

It took another twenty minutes for him to come out. Jeans tight, but not so much so that he could not breathe. Rainbow plaid button up that reached his elbows and his hair…that hair. Oliver scowled at the fact that it would not stay down. In the end, he settled for a midnight blue beanie. He wished he was a girl. Johanna managed to curl her hair nice. If only Oliver could do that.

“Where are we going anyway? I didn’t even know whether I needed to dress nice or not.”

“Oh you look more than fine. I am not letting you back into that washroom or we’ll be late. Come on!”

Oliver barely got to say goodbye before he was steered out of the door and into the car. Johanna was
feeding him directions as they went.

…

Oliver was sure that they were headed for Maiden Fog, but the restaurant was smaller, less expensive. He thanked the heavens for that because he was more than certain that the women would not be paying for this outing. 
The two were led to a small table near a window with a view of a small village square. Oliver had never been to this part before. Perhaps it was because he would never be able to afford anything on this side.

“Oh I haven’t seen those two since we were practically children in elementary! Charlotte and I were glued to the hip at school, it used to drive Benjamin mad because they were absolutely best friends. I am so excited!”

A squeal sounded before Oliver could make a sound form on his lips. Johanna was immediately up and tightly embracing a young woman with purple hair. She was slight, short, with long curled hair and a sweetheart face. Her eyes were what caught Oliver, they were big and chocolate…just like the stranger’s…Benjamin’s. 
Oliver rose from his seat in courtesy to shake the girl’s hand. She pulled him into a hug. She smelled like lilac and spring.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Oliver. Johanna has told me so much about you! And look at you!” She turned back to Johanna, squealing loudly at the sight of her stomach. Oliver wished he could bury himself somewhere deep underground. People were looking. They were being loud. He disliked loud things.

Oliver was ready to bury his face into the menu when a low chuckle reached his ears.

“Am I missing the festivities?” His laugh was a beautiful sound.
Oliver had thought Benjamin was beautiful before. He had not seen him this close for this long. He was muscular. Oliver knew this from the last time they had bumped into each other. But Benjamin’s t-shirt was tight around the arms and chest; greatly showcasing their width. And those eyes. The same shade and colour as his sister and yet these seemed bigger and more beautiful. But Oliver had to stop staring. Benjamin had now caught his eye. Oliver could feel his cheeks catch fire.

“Benjamin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Breathtaking smile. Oliver could not find his voice.

“Oliver. Same here.” There it is.



Johanna and Charlotte had disappeared somewhere some time ago. The men could not find a care. It was not as if they paid them any attention since meals arrived anyways. Both knew it was planned…they could be mad. And yet…

Oliver giggled into his hand as Benjamin explained the activities of the kitchen staff aimed towards one of their own. Stephen was the poor man’s name. He has been the butt of jokes and pranks since day 1.

“It’s really his own fault for telling us of his irrational fear of clowns! How could we not use it against him?” Benjamin chuckled.

Oliver allowed yet another laugh to pass through his lips. Somehow throughout the course of supper, the two had migrated closer and closer to one another until their knees were practically touching.
Oliver would have never dared to do this with anyone, but for some reason he did not seem to mind too much. Benjamin opened his mouth to say more when the women finally returned to the table, giggling and whispering behind their hands.

“As much as I would love to stay here forever, baby needs to sleep.” Johanna rubbed a hand on her belly and stared pointedly at a now dejected Oliver. “If you would not mind, sir.”
 Oliver had half a heart to tell her no. She can drive home on her own. He wanted to stay and talk to Benjamin for the rest of the night. But that would be odd. Even for him. But there was something about Benjamin that Oliver found himself drawing into. Was it his looks? His charm? That smile? Those eyes? Oh it was everything! Everything about Benjamin sent Oliver in a tizzy! 
Both men stood at the same time.

Neither looked pleased about it.

Although Oliver had not spoken much, his smile was all it took for Benjamin. Oliver laughed at his jokes and giggled behind his hands and looked at him with those big sea green eyes. He wanted to see this boy again. He had to see this boy again.

“We should do this again some time.” Although his statement was directed to Oliver, he faced the girls, so as to not be too obvious about his growing infatuation. 
Oliver all but squealed at the suggestion. He was not sure if he was wearing a goofy grin or not.

“Of course we should, that sounds like a great idea.” Johanna grinned, winking to Charlotte. Their plan was obviously working. Those devious girls.

…

Oliver could not keep the grin off of his face the entire drive to the house. Thomas and James would
talk his ear off, but he had no care.

“So forcing you out on this was a good idea, I take it.” Johanna giggled, scrolling through her phone. If Oliver knew she was messaging Charlotte, he would have thrown the phone out of the window.

“He is so…amazing. He’s smart and funny and kind and –” A sight escaped his lips.

“Not to mention smoking hot! That boy is one hell of a catch and you two seemed to be flirting away like crazy. Holy! I may not be around, but I expect an invitation to this wedding.”

And his mood shifted; just like that. Oliver needed to talk to her. He felt that it was the only right thing to do. Could she really turn and leave her child? But how could he go about asking her these things? She deserved to have a second chance with her family, but…did their son not deserve a first chance to have a mother?

No, that sounded awful. Oliver could not portray her in this light; it was unfair. She was doing him a huge justice just by allowing this pregnancy to continue. She owed him nothing. She could have terminated the fetus infestation and gone about her life without even allowing Oliver a chance to take one breath. And yet she was willingly putting herself through this torment. And why? Because of some stupid boy who knocked her up because he doesn’t know how to handle his alcohol? So many times, Oliver wondered all day and night as to why Johanna was doing this for him. 


And they were close. Johanna and Oliver. Or at least he thought so. He felt as though she was the closest person to him; the only one he could really speak to without worry of judgment or betrayal. Of course there was still Thomas and James, but…not to the same extent as what he felt with Johanna. Oliver knew that had he been attracted to women – the way that he was attracted to men – Johanna would have been a woman he could only dream of having. She was too good for him. So why was he so guilty? Because he feels as if he is ruining her life? Making her give up her child? To choose between their baby or her family? Is there no middle ground?

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Johanna placed a soothing hand on Oliver’s arm as he pulled into the lot. “Don’t worry, Benjamin is so into you. A blind person could see that.”

“Just – how are you doing this? W-why are you doing this?” The words flew out before he could even attempt to control them. It had already begun; nothing to do now but continue. “I mean, are you sure that you can just give up this baby? It’s been almost seven months and you still have time to change you mind…if you wanted to.” How could he go right out and say that he wanted nothing more than for her to change her mind. Oliver would not mind if Johanna was in their child’s life. He would like it more than anything. Part of his plan to give his baby anything and everything. Shouldn’t the first thing on that list be a set of parents? A mother and father?

Johanna sighed, bowing her head. Oliver expected her to say nothing. To simply walk out of the car and into the flat. Angry. She was unhappy.

“I keep telling myself that I can, but…” Oliver could have sworn he saw a tear roll down her cheek. Johanna turned away before he had a chance to be certain. “Every day it just gets so much harder. He kicks and he moves and he got the hiccups the other day and –” Johanna cradled her sweetheart face in her small hands and took a few deep breaths. When she spoke, her words were much clearer; much more confident. “But I can’t provide for him. I wanted to do so much with my life, nothing like this and I don’t even know how it got to this, really.” She turned to Oliver, eyes shining. “But I do know that I won’t be able to stay out of his life forever. I’ll come back. I’ll have to. Maybe go to college for a bit, make some money and be able to provide for him.”

“Do you think he’ll need the money or the mother?” Oliver should not have said that. He realized this after he spoke. The words hurt Johanna; of course they did. Oliver should not have said anything. How could he have said something like that? He wished more than anything that he could take back his words.

Oliver was immediately cornered when he made his way into the flat. Thomas seemed worried, James looked furious.

“What the hell did you do?” He barked. “She ran in here sobbing like you ripped out her heart and stomped on it. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Oliver simply side-stepped his friend and made his way towards the bedroom where he knew Johanna would be. What could he say to fix this? How could this be fixed? although what he had said was wrong, it was still true. The baby needed a mother before all of those material objects. They could make do with what they had, they would have to make do with what they had.

Still, Oliver would have to apologize. Johanna had been put through too much to deal with being hurt by him. So Oliver knocked on the door and called out her name. And then he knocked for another five minutes straight before Johanna came and opened the door just a crack.
Hey cheeks were flushed and her eyes were a bit puffy and red; Oliver still thought she was absolutely gorgeous.

“Do you mind if I come in and apologize for being a wanker?” He tried to give her a small smile. She didn’t return it. But she did open the door wider for him to come in, for which he was grateful. He would have stayed by the door all night if he had to, but it was getting tiring and his knuckles were most likely bruised.

Johanna sighed and heavily sat on the edge of the bed. Oliver followed suite beside her. His stomach was in knots at this point. What does he say? What can he say?

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Johanna. You, of all people, don’t deserve that.” Better to begin with the truth. “I just...I want to provide for him so much and I just worry that...that no matter what I do, it will never be enough because he won’t have a mother. I just...I’m just scared and I am so sorry for taking it out on you in such a way, you don’t deserve this. I’m just...sorry.”
 Words spilled from his mouth without his control, but nothing else seemed to be hurtful in that speech, so he just went with it. Oliver hung his head as the realization finally dawned on him. He was scared.

For the past seven months, he had been acting so happy, excited and pleased, but the truth of the matter is...he was terrified. A baby! A living, breathing human being that he would have to take care of for the next 18 years of his life. He would have to remember to feed him and change him and care for him and...he was so scared. No matter what James was doing now or how big of a help he was being, Oliver was alone. James will want to move on with his life; he will want a family of his own, or a nicer house or nicer friends. Thomas didn’t even live with him! And even if he did, there was already a girl that he has his eyes on. He too will want a family and children and he will be much more well off than Oliver could ever dream.

Oliver was alone. Truly alone.

Everyone could walk away. Everyone would walk away. And he was alone.
Johanna...she was a different story. This was her baby as well. Even if she walked away, it would still be her baby and partially her responsibility. Oliver wished for her to stay because he just simply did not want to be alone to care for this child. How selfish of him. He wanted to cry. 
Johanna spoke before tears could come.

“I spoke to my older brother the other night, while you were at work and the boys were doing...something.” She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and looking at anywhere but Oli. “I told him everything. About where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing...and more recently about you and the baby. He wasn’t happy...at all. He said that I was making a very big mistake and that I shouldn’t trust you in any way, but he’s wrong.” She finally turned to look at Oliver and took his hand into her small ones. He looked into her glistening eyes. “I know that I can trust you Oliver. Anyone can see how much you already love this child and how much you are willing to risk for him and that’s all I can ever ask of you. I will be here for you; maybe...maybe not right away when I’m still trying to get my life figured out, but I promise that I will be here for you and this child. You will not have to do this on your own.

“I don’t want to have to walk away from my own child, god you have no idea how much the thought pains me every day, but I know it is what I have to do. Just like you know that you have to care for this baby. But please, you have to let me go. I will be back, but you have to let me go...”