Safe Haven

John and i broke up two months ago but it ended well because we were still friends and it wasn't really awkward between me and him so we often hang out, today we decided to hang out at my house and everyone who got too drunk to drive back home decided to stay over, one of the people who stayed was John and because of my small house he and i decided to share the room for the night. So there i was stuck in bed with my ex.

But right now, it's 1:27am, i want to go to sleep but i can't. I lay here with my eyes open looking at the ceiling while there John was sleeping just in the opposite bed of mine. I listen to his breathing, listening if he really was asleep before i moved.
I slip away from the sheets of my bed slowly and rise from bed trying my best to keep quiet so i wouldn't wake John up who was sleeping soundly.

Opening the drawer beside me, i reach for the bottle of sleeping pills i have inside and try with all my strength to open it. The plan was to drink one pill just so i can get enough sleep but tonight it was different. No, tonight i need more.

I was empty, i needed sleep and what's the best to way to beat both with a pill or three?

I looked at the pills in my hand as i put the bottle back at the bedside table, reaching for the water near the lamp, i stare at my hands blankly when i suddenly feel tears form in my eyes as a sob suddenly comes out of me.

It's 1:34am i need to get my sleep, i lazily move my hand like a robot to put the pill in my mouth when i felt someone from behind hug me.

I froze, hearing his breathing matching mine. He was awake.

I sit there like a blank old robot not even moving while his head just stays on top of my shoulder.
He breaks the silence with a whisper to my ears

"Are you okay?" He asked

I couldn't move, i was frozen. I don't know whether it was because of John or because i was having suicidal thoughts again. So instead of answering him, i just listened to our breaths which came out in unison.
He broke the silence again with a whisper

"Can't sleep?" he asks in a calm soothing voice

I tried to open my mouth to answer but no words came out so i just nod my head.

He reached over for my hand, opening it gently and putting the pills back to the table with the water.

John then gently puts me into bed as he huddles over and embraces me in comfort. No words were needed, only our company was comforting me. So there i was in a bed with my ex soothing me with his hands on my back trying to lull me into sleep with his soft hums.

It was 1:47am and somehow i managed to fall asleep all because somehow in his arms, it felt like my safe haven.