The Ballerina and the Rocker

Quinn

She had always liked watching the guys perform, but this time it was different than just another small club. Now they were performing on a well known venue and Quinn hoped nothing but good things would follow for them.

Although she wasn’t sure if the same could be said for her and Zacky.

Things had been awkward between them since their fight. And with Warped Tour and working at the dance studio, they had both been too busy to mention anything about it to the other. Quinn had hoped maybe they’d be able to just give it time and forget it ever happened, but instead it just prolonged their cold war.

Once Val had finished her screaming cameo, she left the boys on the stage and joined back with Quinn on the sidelines. She said something to Quinn but she didn’t hear.

“Sorry, what?” Quinn asked.

“I said, when their set is over do you want to help me pass out some demos?” Val repeated.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Quinn turned and headed over to the cardboard boxes Val had filled with CDs. Val followed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Quinn automatically replied.

“Come on, something’s bothering you, I can tell.” Quinn sighed. “What’s up?”

Reluctantly, Quinn spilled. She told Val all about the fight she and Zacky had and about her conflicting thoughts and feelings about their relationship status. As she was releasing all this information on her friend, Quinn realized that vocalizing these issues instead of just thinking about them silently helped her to asses the situation. The thought of ending things with Zacky terrified her and seemed all too real.

“Wow,” Val said once Quinn had finished talking.

“Yeah.”

“Well,” she began carefully. “Since Matt and I have never been in this situation you and Zacky are in, I’m not really qualified to give that kind of advice.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, I wasn’t looking for any advice,” Quinn quickly jumped in. “It was just nice to be able to vent it all out to someone.”

She smiled a sad smile at her friend who quickly pulled her in for a hug.

“Ok, I do have one thing to say,” Val said, still hugging Quinn.

“What’s that?”

Val pulled away and looked at Quinn straight in the eyes, seriousness covering every inch of her face.

“Don’t talk to Zacky about all this until he gets back after the summer. It’ll give you some extra time to think.” Quinn nodded, thankful for Val’s comforting words.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Val.”

She would wait to talk to Zacky until after he finished Warped Tour not just because of what Val said, but because Quinn would rather him spend the summer angry with her because of a fight rather than a broken heart.

Zacky

Their set couldn’t have gone any better, setting the bar high for the rest of the summer. Once they had finished and cleared all their equipment off the stage, Zacky went to find Val by their boxes of merch but instead saw Quinn grabbing a bunch of CDs.

“Hey,” he said, approaching her.

“Hey,” she replied, barely looking up at him from the box. “Great set, you guys were awesome.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you could make it.”

“Mmhm.” She threw him a quick smile and walked away with a stack of CDs. Zacky ran his fingers through his sweat soaked hair and sighed, frustrated at yet another cold interaction between him and Quinn. He had hoped that they’d be able to put their fight behind them and move on, but that was easier said than done. Painful thoughts had been exposed on both sides and if things weren’t good now he honestly wasn’t sure if they’d ever be.

Zacky felt Quinn slipping further and further away from him and he couldn’t find a way to hold on to her.

The painstakingly hot day was nearing the end, which meant the band would have to start driving to Nevada to make it to the next tour date. They were just about packed up and ready to go when he realised he hadn’t seen Quinn in a while and had hoped to catch her before they left.

“Hey, have you guys seen Quinn?” Zacky asked a group comprised of Matt, Jimmy, and Jason.

“I think she was just talking to Brian,” Jimmy answered, pointing somewhere just beyond their van.

“Cool, thanks.” He quickly rushed over to where Jimmy pointed. Brian was walking towards him as Quinn was walking in the opposite direction towards the exit.

“Is she leaving already?” Zacky asked Brian as he ran up to him.

“Yeah man… didn’t you already say bye to her, though?” Brian asked, puzzled.

Zacky didn’t answer and instead sprinted as quickly as he could to Quinn and caught up with her before she got lost in the crowd.

“Quinn!” he panted, reaching his arm out to grab hers. She quickly turned around, her ponytail almost whipping her in the face.

“Zacky! Hey.”

“Were you just going to leave without telling me?” She didn’t answer. Instead, she looked guiltily down at the ground. “Quinn, come on, stop that and look at me!” Zacky grabbed her by the shoulders and stared at her until her eyes finally met his. They were glossed over as if she was about to cry.

“I’m sorry,” she said, quietly.

Without saying another word, Zacky leaned forward and kissed her. He was surprised when she actually kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer.

“Quinn --” he began once their lips pulled away.

“Have a good tour,” she said, cutting him off. Before he could even get another word out, Quinn pulled away from him and quickly joined the masses leaving for the parking lot.

Quinn

Summer had been everything Quinn had hoped for. She had a job that she loved, and she got to spend time with her dad while he was home. She missed Zacky, but knowing he was keeping busy on tour and having a great time with his friends and bandmates made her feel more at ease about their distance. At least for now.

“So, what do you want to do for the big two-one?” Audrey asked Quinn of her upcoming birthday.

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. “I hadn’t really thought about it,” she answered truthfully. “I mean, my friends are all somewhere in the Midwest and I don’t really feel like doing a bar crawl with mom and dad.”

Audrey chuckled. “Okay, fine. I guess we can do a movie night with some wine and beer. But you’re buying!”

Her twenty-first birthday was a nice, low key, family celebration. Mason and Stephanie came over for dinner (with the announcement that they had finally decided on a wedding date for next June), and after presents were given and cake had been eaten, Audrey and Quinn settled on the couch with pillows, blankets, and wine to for an Audrey Hepburn marathon, beginning with Quinn’s favourite Roman Holiday.

“Okay, now that we’ve gone through two bottles of wine I think it’s time we dished,” Audrey said, turning her attention to her sister and away from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

As reluctant as Quinn was to talk to Val about her and Zacky, she was even more so with her sister given how much of a supporter she was of the two of them. Not to mention she was the one who basically helped Quinn come to terms with her feelings for Zacky in the first place.

“Are you happy?” she said when Quinn had failed to speak. She looked at Audrey and saw the concern. “Because I know how much you love him and care about him, but are you happy?”

“It’s just been so hard lately…” Quinn began. She tried to continue but felt the words caught in her throat, unable to express anything more.

“Alright, maybe we need to go through another bottle first.” Audrey got up to go grab some more wine from the kitchen. Quinn paused the movie and followed her.

“Better make that vodka instead.”

Zacky

It had been a wild ride. He couldn’t believe it was over already. Warped Tour had been crazy and exhausting, but extremely fun. And even though he was broke and starving, he wouldn’t have traded the experience for the world. But now that it was all over, he couldn’t wait to go home and have a home cooked meal again… and to try talking to Quinn.

He had done a good job at not thinking too much about their last moments before the summer took off. The last thing he wanted was to bring down the mood of everyone around him. But now that summer was near its end and he was heading home, it was time to start thinking about it again.

Their kiss before parting ways didn’t seem like an “I’ll miss you, see you later” kiss, it seemed more like a “goodbye forever” kiss and Zacky wanted -- no, needed -- to make sure that’s not what it was.

After a hearty dinner cooked by his mother (“Zacky, eat more,” Maria kept insisting, taken aback at how ill and famished her son looked post-tour), Zacky headed up to his room and checked out the window to see if Quinn was home. She wasn’t, so he decided to play video games to pass the time until she was.

About an hour or so later, he noticed the lights come on in her bedroom. Stopping his game, he walked over and opened his window. He carefully climbed over the tree branches, not having done it in a while, until he came to the bay window and gave it three quick knocks.

“Hey, Zack,” Quinn said with a smile after opening the window.

“Can I come in?” he asked. Quinn nodded and stepped aside so Zacky could drop in.

“When did you get back?” she asked, standing with her hands on her hips.

“Earlier today,” he answered, still standing by the window. He wasn’t necessarily expecting Quinn to throw herself at him, but he didn’t think they’d be conversing like they hardly knew each other.

“Good tour?”

“Yeah, it was great.” Another awkward pause. “Except that we need a new bassist. Again.” That earned a laugh from her, making Zacky feel a little better.

“You guys are cursed,” she said with a smirk.

“Yeah, I think we are.” Quinn smiled politely and let out a sigh. The two looked at each other, hoping the other would speak first to save them both from the uncomfortable silence they found themselves in.

“So,” Zacky began, really not knowing what he was going to say.

“So,” she repeated.

“About that last time we saw each other --”

“Zacky.” Quinn saying his name cut him off before he could finish his sentence. She no longer looked uncomfortable but full of worry. She grabbed his hand and lead her over to her bed where they both sat down.

Zacky felt his heart drop into his stomach.

Quinn

She took a deep breath before continuing. It was now or never.

“Zacky,” she began, holding his hand tightly. “I love you… so much.”

He let go of Quinn’s hand. “Oh come on, don’t start with that,” he said, the tone in his voice revealing he knew exactly where she was going with this.

“How long were we expecting to keep up with this long distance?” she continued, trying to keep her voice from quivering.

“Well, we’ve been doing okay so far.”

“I don’t want to be in an okay relationship.”

“I just mean that we’ve made it this far -- we can stick it out until you’re done with school.”

“Zack... when I graduate I’m pretty sure I’m going to stay in New York. I mean, it just makes sense.”

“And we don’t anymore?”

“No, that’s not it -- that’s not what I’m trying to say --” Zacky stood up and walked over to lean against her dresser. She stood up to face him as she continued. “I need to focus more on school, and you need to keep focusing on the band. And if we keep trying to make this work at the same time… I’m just afraid we’re going to end up drifting farther apart than we already have!”

“But I want to make this work!”

“I do too! But I don’t think it will right now.”

“So… you want to break up.”

“I don’t want to.”

“But that’s where you’re going with this.”

“I don’t want to end up going back to New York with the illusion that we’re perfectly fine!”

“What is so wrong with us that you’re so eager to end it? Is it just because I never came out to visit you? I said I was sorry!”

Zacky’s green eyes were filled with a pain she had never seen before, and it hurt Quinn just to look at him.

“It’s not just that! I’ve just done a lot of thinking lately and realised that what you want and what I want it taking us in different directions,” she explained as calmly as she could. “I’ve been moving around my whole life -- I just want to live in one place, and that’s New York. You’ve got the band and you’re going to be touring and when you’re not you’ll be here, so no matter what we’re going to be in a long distance relationship and... I don’t know how long I can live that way.”

She looked at Zacky and could feel the tears balancing on her eyelids. She crossed her arms and looked down at the carpeted floor, hoping that not looking right at him would prevent her from crying.

“Please say something,” she said on the verge of a whisper.

“What do you want me to say,” Zacky responded, sounding absolutely exhausted. “It sounds like you’ve made up your mind, so it really doesn’t matter what I say, does it?”

She looked back up at Zacky and saw him looking at her, utterly defeated. “I just… I need you understand…”

“Well, I don’t really have much of a choice, do I?”

Zacky made his way back over to the window and was about to climb out. “Zacky,” Quinn said, halting his departure. He turned to look at her, his face completely blank. “I still love you.”

He sighed. “I don’t really care.”

And with that, Zacky made his way across the tree branches and back into his own room where he immediately shut the window. Simultaneously, Quinn let go of the avalanche of tears that had been building up inside of her and crumpled down to the floor from where she was standing, sobbing uncontrollably.

Zacky

Zacky lay on his bed staring unblinkingly up at the ceiling. He felt completely and utterly numb.