Redesign the Broken

They’d hit the 3 month mark, but the little drummer boy was the only one of the pair awake for the occasion.
He’d spent hours sitting, slouched in the hospital chair, which was growing more uncomfortable by the minute. The doctor who had conversed with the boys just 4 days ago, Dr. Hamilton, had offered to wheel a spare bed into the room so he could sleep comfortably but Dan refused. Dr. Hamilton merely nodded and offered his support if it was needed, for he knew the heartache and torture Dan was dealing with at the moment.

Dr. Hamilton’s fairy tale love story was, in a general sense, true. Although, if you were to really pick apart the details, you’d find that he had been married for 33 years, only, 20 of those were spent alone. He had 2 children, 26 and 31, but once again, he was alone. Truth was, Dr. Hamilton’s wife and two children were killed on a family holiday in Peru, but he maintained the belief that he and Jane were still in love, still the best of friends. He upheld the faith that his two children were somewhere with his wife, watching over him; guiding him safely through the remainder of his life.
Dr. Hamilton was self-assured, he was healing.
He saw himself in Dan and he was praying to his fallen family, “please, let her wake up.”

From Dan’s perspective, it was bleak. To put it bluntly, it was fucked.
Against any outsiders advice, he never let go of her hand unless it was a serious matter.
He barely ate, barely slept. He didn’t want to miss a moment and that included missing the exact moment she woke up.
His jawline was definitely growing stubble and his eyes were solely focused on the girl laying in the bed, so undeserving of this.

The rest of the guys visited daily, bringing food and clothes for Dan but they knew they shouldn’t overstay their welcome. This wasn’t their issue to fight for, but they’d be there for Dan if something went wrong.

It was another two days before he heard anything new from Dr. Hamilton.
That day, though, when he walked through Stella’s hospital room with a light step and a light sigh, Dan was sure that he would have to let go of her hand for good.

But that wasn’t the case.

Dr. Hamilton said, and I quote, “we’re going to pull her out of the coma. Feel free to stay right where you are while we work.”

Dan had never been so fucking happy.

He called the guys, frantic.
Judging by the sound of muffled screams through the phone, (which was not on loudspeaker), the band was confused as to what was going on.
Apparently Dan’s “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god” wasn’t as clear as he’d hoped.
It took a good 5 minutes for them to shut him up and tell him to start again.

“They’re waking her up, get your asses down here now.” And he hung up.

The boys were there in less than 30 minutes, all waiting outside Stella’s room while Dan sat right where he’d been for days, a tight grip on her hand.

He asked the nurses how long it would take for her to wake up and with a smile, one of them told him that it could take up to 2 hours.
He gracefully let go of her hand, slowly stood up and then took off out of the room to tell the guys that he wanted them in there.

They were gobsmacked. Did he really want them in there while she woke up?
Of fucking course.
He needed them, his band of brothers.

Time skip forward two hours and we have Daniel Flint, still sitting hand in hand with Stella James while the other members of You Me at Six lay sprawled about the room, more than likely sleeping because Dan’s wake-up call was so sudden.
Dan’s eyelids began to feel heavy and despite trying harder than ever to fight sleep, he let his head fall lightly onto Stella’s hospital bed next to her stomach.

He was only out for a matter of minutes until his head was shifted slightly, causing a jolt to rip through his entire being.

Upon opening his eyes, he saw hers. Her blue, sometimes green eyes were open and staring straight at him.
Even though her eyelids were drooped slightly, showing she was still tired, Stella was more awake than ever.

It’s said that when you’re in a coma, you dream. You may relive the event that got you here in the first place, see an old friend, see into the future… It’s a debatable topic; people don’t believe that it happens but Stella does.
Stella dreamt, she experienced all 3 of those things.

She saw the shooting all over again, people falling one by one.
She saw her best friend, doing what he loved; riding BMX. They talked, he spoke words of encouragement and told her that, no matter how little she believes it, he was there.
She saw her future, same building, same apartment. You Me at Six was there, including Dan. When she dreamt her future, she felt warmth. Coincidentally, that was when her best friend appeared, telling her “it’s time”.

Then she was awake.

Her best friend, me… She knows. It’s taken 3 years, but she knows I’m here. She’s safe now.

Daniel, be good to her.

STELLA
Where the fuck am I?

Waking up in a sterile-smelling room with blinding fluorescent lights is absolute horse shit, why am I- Oh hello…
I glanced down at the right-hand side of my body, feeling the edge of my stomach hit something hard, only to see the face of Mr. Daniel Flint.
He’s asleep.

I nudge him again and this time, his blue eyes shoot open and he stares at me in what looks to be complete and utter disbelief.

Um…

“You’re… YOU’RE AWAKE?!”
“Shut the fuck up Max…” he yelled, “You’re awake.” His voice was tired, barely a whisper but I heard him.
“Uh, yeah. I suppose so.” Oh great, my voice is messed.
“Max, go get a doctor you wanker.” Dan laughed. God, I’ve missed that.

Seeing Max’s energy-packed form run out of the room brought a tear to my eye, unknown reason, but it was there.

“Stel.”
My eyes caught Dan’s intense gaze for a second, until I broke focus. I scanned over the room, seeing Josh and Matt cuddled together in the corner opposite to me, a slight glimmer of drool rolling from Josh’s mouth, and Chris sleeping soundly on the couch next to them.
I can’t, for the life of me, remember what the fuck happened.

“You’re actually awake…”
“Yeah? Why am I in a hospital Daniel? And can I have some water? My throat is burning.”
His face morphed into something of confusion before he reached over to the bedside table and handed me a half-full bottle of water before standing up and leaving the room… Why?

DAN
“MAX”
“What?”
“Get the fucking doctor, now.”
“What? OH YEAH. Sorry.”
Fuck sake… How can he not remember?

“Dan!”
Finally…
“Ah, Daniel. Max here tells me that Stella is awake?”
“Well, yeah she is but she can’t remember why she’s in here or anything.”
“Noted.”
Dr. Hamilton called a couple of nurses over, one of which looked young, and filled them in.

“Dan, this is Jennifer,” he motioned to the older looking nurse, give or take 50 years old I guess, “and Emily. Emily is a nurse in training so she’ll be helping us out frequently.”

She was staring at me.
Like, not ‘oh I’m a fan’ staring. No.
She was proper staring at me, like she was going to jump me any second.
“Hey Dan.” She winked. She fucking… Nope.
“Yeah, hi. Can we just go check Stella out now, Dr.?”
“Of course. Nurses, follow me.”

Max pulled me back so we were walking behind the three and nudged me in the ribs, hard, might I add.
“Ow dude, what?”
All he did was wink.
“Max, is there something in your eye?”
“No, you arse. Her!”
“Oh, yeah. Right. No. Not happening Maximus.”
“Man, if I were you, I’d go for it. A hot nurse! Every boy’s dream…” Max trailed off, starring into the distance, most likely in La La Land.
“Were you not awake for the past week?”
“OH so you fancy Stella?”
“Obviously”
“Well, that was easy.”
“What are you-“

“Stella! Good to see you awake!”
Mental note: interrogate Max.

Side-stepping the creepy nurse, I went right back to where I had stayed for the past week, locking hands with Stella as soon as my butt was seated.
Emily did not look happy.

“Yeah, what happened?” Stella questioned, still as confused as before but her voice was back to normal.
“You don’t remember anything? Did you have any visions or dreams while you were asleep?”
“Yeah, um…” Her brow furrowed as she tried to recall anything she’d seen, “wait, yeah ok there was this guy and he had a gun and he was shooting people and then I saw an old friend of mine and we were riding bikes together and then I saw all of you guys,” she waved her arm towards the, now awake and shocked, Josh, Matt and Chris and then to Max and I, “at my apartment and then my friend came back and told me “it’s time” and everything went white and I was really warm and then I woke up and saw Dan.”

“The shooting actually happened, Stella.”
“WHAT?!”
She shot up so fast that I had trouble registering what she actually did until she screamed, and I mean screamed out in pain.
On instinct, I held her.
Sobbing in a heap, into my shoulder until Dr. Hamilton gave her another shot of pain relief.

“The shooting actually happened,” he began, “7 people were killed, 18 were injured.”

And then she was out again.
Too much to handle, obviously, but how could she not remember?
It was then, that I’d realised the boys were awake and as much as I’d love them here, I didn’t want them to see her like this. They didn’t know…

“Dan, can I speak to you outside for a second?”
I couldn’t speak, I merely nodded slightly and walked slowly out of the room, motioning for the rest of the band to follow me out.
Once again, Emily didn’t look happy and I definitely didn’t miss the sneaky touch she left on my arm.
Was it not obvious that I didn’t give a shit?
I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something was going to happen while I was out of the room but I shook it off when Dr. Hamilton nudged my shoulder.

“Dan, we’re gonna head off. Call us if anything happens, yeah?”
I nodded again and the four hugged me and just like that, they were gone.

“Look, I’ll tell you straight: this is unusual. Her having this severe and disjointed confusion isn’t something common and we’re slightly confused as to how to treat this situation. We have a few ideas but we’re just trying to set the process of elimination into motion to see what would work best.”

My heart sank.

“But you can fix her, right? You can make her better, can’t you?” I was frantic, no doubt about it.
“Dan, she’s not entirely broken. She remembers you, she remembers the rest of the guys and she knows a shooting took place; she just thinks the shooting was a dream. Our current idea is we just let her redevelop at her own pace. Maybe if we let her recover physically, the confusion will dissipate.”
“Yeah but-“
“Daniel. She remembers you and she’s awake. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yeah, I know and-“
“Doctor.”
Jennifer appeared out of the door, a scared look in her eye.

That bad feeling is back.

“Yes, Jennifer?”
“I think you’d better come in here. Now."

Oh fuck.

STELLA
I was back in my dream state, hoping that my best friend would show his face again.
It became windy, the air whipping across the field I was stood in the middle of.
As a silhouette came into view, they started repeating my name over and over again and my eyes filled with tears.
He was here, am I dead?

His silhouette was becoming clearer, his face almost completely visible.
Hair, normally parted so damn neat and perfect, was being thrown around his face as the wind picked up.

His mouth parted, as though he was about to say something and I wish he did. God I wish I could hear his voice again.

I was damn sure I was about to hear his voice again until I was being shook awake, hands wrapped around my throat, a screaming girl above me.
Being throttled is shit, but when you’re in a hospital with fresh bullet wounds, it’s even fucking worse and I want to kill this stupid girl.

Inside my head, nothing was registering fully; the screaming, the movement, the removal of the hands; nothing.
Until I’d finally stopped shaking, nothing seemed real.
Why the fuck did she have to wake me up?

“EMILY”

I can’t feel.

“What the hell is going on here?”

I can’t see.

“Stella…”

I can’t hear.

“Stella!”

I can’t breathe.