Young Dreamers

"Can I ask you something?" Oli asked quietly as we approached Mississippi.

"Anything."

"How...when I said I needed to get away and stuff, you said you understood. Did you go through a rough time when you came out?" I bit my lip, I'd known this would arise at some stage, just not quite so soon.

"Yeah. I did. I came out, my parents were just....shocked, to be honest. They didn't really say anything. Friends from school dropped me, in a flash I went from being the cool joker to the faggot loser. The only people that stuck by me were my basketball coach, and Alice. Things got really bad, with the bullying and everything, and I was in a really bad place, so once I'd done my exams, I left. I drove round America for a year. I didn't call my parents, Alice, no one. It gave me perspective." Oli took in my words and nodded slowly.

"A whole year..."

"Yep. When I went to college and expected it to be the same, but it wasn't. When you leave school, people don't care about reps, or cliques, and it surprised me that I became friends with the cool guys and the gays, the hot girls and the geeks. And it got better. Now I've got a job and lots of friends, my family want me to be closer to them, they're all cool now, and it's all good." Oli smiled at me.

"I'm glad. You're not the kind of person who deserves to feel like that."

"Nor are you." I replied quietly, turning serious. I stared out of the windscreen as I spoke, concentrating on driving as Oli let my words sink in.

"Thank you. Hey there's a petrol station." I smirked at his oh-so-British turn of phrase and turned into the place and filled up. Oli jumped out too, muttering about getting drinks. I knew my words would have shaken him up, but they needed to be said.

As I stood there, my phone started to ring.
"Hey, Alice."

"Hey, how are you guys?"

"Okay. We're in Mississippi. How's you and Sara?"

"Sara's gone home to stay with her parents, I'm driving home as we speak."

"Cool. Are you really ok?"

"Yeah just tired. How's Oli?"

"He's...shaken up. He's quiet. But yesterday was something of a breakthrough."

"Oh my god!! Did something happen?!?"

"No, believe it or not it doesn't have to be about sex."

"Everything's about sex. In some way." I rolled my eyes and screwed shut the gas cap.

"Anyway, no nothing's happened, but he's coming to terms with it, so it's all good."

"Good. Ooh there's the hottest guy at the gas station, gotta go John, bye!!"

"Have fun with your prey. Bye, love you."

"Love you babes." She hung up and I laughed at her. Oli was choosing drinks as I walked up to pay for the gas, and before he turned, a guy also walking up to the cashier smiled at me and stood to the side to let me go first.

"No it's ok, you go."

"Please, you've got less stuff than I have." I raised my eyebrows at the gum in his hand and he laughed, scratching his head awkwardly.

"Well Y'know, there's like four packs within this big pack, so technically." I smiled.

"Oh right....yeah makes a lot of sense now." He laughed and held out his hand once I'd payed for the gas and was waiting for Oli.

"I'm Austin."

"John. Nice to meet you Austin."

"Likewise." He had a nice smile and I shook my head as he thanked the cashier.
At this point, Oli walked over and shot me a small glance as he placed the items in front of the cashier who was watching the three of us like an intense movie.

"Oh umm...Oli this is Austin, Austin, Oli." They shook hands and I became tense as Austin's eyes travelled over Oli's smaller frame. A slight pang of jealously was there, of course, but nerves were the main problem as I hoped Oli wouldn't freak out.

"So, Austin, where you headed?"

"Anywhere you guys want me to." He was joking, but Oli looked at me, panicked.

"Quit playing. We're headed to Maine...taking the scenic route."

"Sorry, I'm kidding, well not really but y'know. I'm going to Cali."

"Oh yeah, we just came from there." We walked out of the gas station and Austin held up his hand for us to wait as he reached into his car, giving us a good view of some of the goods before turning round.

"This is my number. If you ever find yourself back in Cali, or in Florida, give me a shout, we could...hang out." I laughed quietly.

"Yeah, we'll keep that in mind. See you round, Austin." I pushed Oli away gently and left. He was quiet as we got back into the car.

"Are you ok?"

"I...I guess. That was just so...random."

"Some gays - just like some straights - can be a little over friendly. It's great when you settle into it, hookups are never difficult to find. But at the beginning it can be a little disarming, I know." Oli nodded.

"Well, did you hate the idea?"

"Not as much as I thought I would." He admitted, very quietly. I couldn't fight back a smile at the way he looked down at the ground, frowning as though he'd spotted something confusing.

"Good. Progress."

"You know you can go for it- I mean, uh, I mean-"

"Thanks. I'm good though - got other things on my mind." I glanced at Oli - who looked a little shocked before settling into a gentle smile.

"Can we stop off?"

"Where?"

"Here."

"There's nothing but fields." Oli nodded and I pulled to a stop. He climbed out and walked up and down the side of the field for a few minutes.

"What are you doing?"

"Not rushing. Getting the sun." I laughed as I walked round to see Oli lying in the back of the truck. His eyes were closed, he looked truly peaceful for the first time in days. Lying down next to him, he sighed heavily.

"What is it?"

"I'm just...I meant when I said I feel free. It's just weird is all." In that moment, I had the urge to kiss him more than I'd ever had the urge to do anything in my entire life. We lied there for a long time, the sun warming our skin, and me continually creating sentences which I was too afraid to say, until I gave up.

"I.....let's get going." Oli nodded and joined me again in the front seat.

That night, I crossed over the road to a cafe to get us drinks whilst Oli booked a room.
He was leant against the wall waiting for me when I arrived, a cloud on his face.
"Are you alright?"

"Oh, hi. Yeah." He forced a smile and turned away before I could even hand him his drink. Something was wrong. I didn't want to say anything as he lead me towards our rooms, the tense line in his shoulders said everything and I didn't want to upset him further - we'd been making such progress.

He headed up another flight of stairs before opening a room and holding the door open for me. I looked at him as I walked in.
"Thank- oh." I stopped when I saw the double bed.

"I..I mean...ive been...I'm ok now but I...I didn't want to ask because I felt stupid and now I feel pushy- I didn't mean I wanted to do...that...but I meant I was ok with- just stop me already!!!!" Oli covered his burning face with his hands and I looked at him, suddenly emotional, before fondness hit me like a fist.

"Oli." He uncovered his face and stood awkwardly. I walked towards him and he obviously fought not to take a step back as I reached around him to close the door, almost pinning him against the door as I kept my hand there. He looked to the side, then up at me for a split second and away again. I sighed and he glanced at me once more.

"When are you going to look at me properly?" He glared at me as I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. The defiance in his eyes made me struggle to keep control. I lifted his chin up and leant forwards slowly, pecking his lips like a whisper before pulling back, meeting his eyes, and going in for a second time. His chin was stubbly and scratched against mine roughly in the best possible way, his hair was softer than it looked under my hand - his hip as skinny as it looked under the other - and his lips were soft, breath warm against my lips when we parted slightly, before he pulled me back gently and we kissed again, and again, and again, until finally I decided he'd be ok to go to the next level. I licked against his lip for permission and I felt him tense for a moment before opening his mouth and curving his head, allowing my tongue to work against his. I wanted to shudder in pleasure at the sensations - Oli did - I settled for pushing his hips against the door with my own and he let out a quiet moan before freezing up and pushing me away.

"I-I, uh, sorry?! I.." I pecked his lips gently and stroked over his cheeks with my thumbs.

"Don't be." He looked down and then back up to me, a pink tinge to his face. I was overcome with fondness, and I was the one to get scared. I kissed him again and then returned to the bed. It was terrifyingly intense. He stayed where he was. I looked up at him, he was still watching me.

"What?"

"I'm just.....curious."

"Well I figured that much." He shook his head.

"I mean....curious to understand all the things that make me want you."

"Oh....." The sarcastic comment abandoned John and he had to settle for swallowing it instead.

Oli joined him, his smell filling John's nostrils. As they lie there, for hours on end, it frightened John to see how much he loved Oli's smell. He wanted to inhale more of it, but at the same time he wanted to run outside just to get away from it.

"You awake?"

"Yeah." Oli turned over. I could feel him watching me even though I stared up at the ceiling. Oli nudged me gently and I sighed, reluctantly turning to face him.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me the truth. I can't be bothered to play games. Not us, there's already too much out in the open for that."

"No...I am fine..." I couldn't stop my fingertips from brushing over the tattoos on his shoulder.

"I just.....I can't believe....how much....just....how...much...you know? Like, I never realised it'd be this intense."

"Good intense...or...?"

"It's good. It's really good. Scary good." Oli chuckled. Goosebumps raised on his arm, and he bit his lip in thought, brow furrowing slightly.

"I know what you mean. I don't...it's weird. I'm not really attracted to men....just...uh- you." He looked down at the mattress, embarrassed. I had never felt so thrilled.