My Apocalypse

We spent all day yesterday packing. Tour was finally over. I was sad, but happy at the same time. I was more than excited to sleep in a real bed instead of a rock-hard bunk, have a full-sized bathroom and kitchen, and a real living room with an actual TV with more than a few channels.

I took Max up on his offer––well, more like Max forced me to move in with him. Thankfully I got all my shit from Craig. He didn't like the idea of me moving out, but he knew there was nothing he could do. I would much rather have my own place, but Max is so goddamned stubborn. Always has been.

"Fucking hell," I muttered as I dropped my bag on the floor. Max followed me into my new bedroom, dropping two more bags of mine that he insisted on carrying. Ronnie followed him with my last bag.

"I think that's everything, Ash." Max sat one of the bags onto the full size bed he had put into my new bedroom. "If you need anything, just let me know. I'll be in my bedroom unpacking. mi casa es su casa."

I looked around my new bedroom. It desperately needed a makeover. The walls were a very faint purple, as well as the back of the door. The front of the door was black. There was a large window next to the bed, looking out to the city. There was a walk-in closet on the opposite side of the window, and a dresser in front of my bed which had a small flat screen positioned on top.

Ronnie watched me curiously, grinning. "What do you think?"

"It needs to be Ashley-fied, but it's great. I love the wall color." I mentally mapped out spots on the wall for posters, pictures, and lights. Ronnie wrapped his arms around me from behind, his head propped up on my shoulder. I smiled, holding his hand. "What do you think?"

Ronnie sighed. I felt him shrug. "S'okay. I would much rather have you come live with me, though."

I rolled my eyes, unhooking his arms around me. I unzipped my bags and started unpacking. "I would much rather have my own place."

"Yeah, you've mentioned that a couple times."

"I just don't like feeling like a burden. I know Max would have never offered this if he thought I would be trouble, but I don't want to hold him down too." I confessed as I shoved a clothes hanger through the neck of one of my shirts, angrily hanging it in my closet.

"What do you mean, 'hold him down too'?" He took a shirt out of my hand, holding my chin up making me look at him."

"I always felt bad for Craig. He was stuck with some snot-nosed kid. He never had a chance to experience life. It was always "Ashley needs this" or "Sorry I can't go out, Ashley is sick". I hated it. I've felt like a burden for almost all my entire life."

Ronnie stared deep into my eyes, not even blinking. "Ashley, you're not a burden," I scoffed, causing him to tense. "Look, what happened to your parents wasn't anyone's fault. There was no way you or Craig could have prevented it, no one could have. Craig chose to take care of you. Do you really think he had no choice in that? He could have just as easily thrown you into an orphanage. But did he?"

I shook my head no.

"I know Craig has done a lot of shitty stuff, especially as of late, but he cares for you Ashley," he continued. "You may not see it, but everyone cares for you."

I was absolutely speechless. All I could manage to say was, "Thank you."

Ronnie hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too,"

***

One-hundred Christmas lights, a few posters, pictures and curtains and my bedroom was looking so much better. It actually felt like mine now. I had plugged in the lights in the outlet my bed was pushed up against, I had curved the lights up my wall, to the ceiling, across a corner and stapled them along the ceiling on the outside of my closet, all the way to the dresser across from my bed. They were, by far, my most favorite decoration. I loved how bright they were even though the bulbs were tiny.

I had also finally unpacked, shirts and dresses (though I never really wore them) were hung in the closet. Pants, shorts, underwear, socks and skirts were in the dresser. Everything was finally coming together.

Max and I had ordered Chinese takeout for dinner, us both being too tired from unpacking to bother cooking our own dinner. We watched HBO movies while we ate, catching up on stuff we missed while we weren't allowed to talk.

Me being a clean-freak I picked up the house, cleaning the kitchen and doing the laundry. Max was literally bouncing off the walls telling me over and over again that I didn't need to do this. But, I never realized how messy Max is.

By the time Max and I turned in for the night I was too tired to function. I barely made it upstairs and into my room before collapsing onto my bed. I lazily reached between my bed and the wall, plugging in my Christmas lights. The whole room shined with red, pink, blue, orange, and green lights. I smiled as I rolled over, burying my face in my pillows.

I was just about to fall asleep when my phone vibrated. I groaned, unlocking it. I winced at the brightness, muttering obscenities under my breath as I turned the brightness all the way down. I checked my messages to see I had two unread. One from Ronnie, and one from Craig.

I opened Ronnie's first. "I love you, Ashley baby. Sweet dreams. I'll stop by tomorrow." I smiled, replying back with "I love you too. Good night."

I then opened Craig's. "Good night, Ass-Lee. Love you, sis.". I laughed, typing "Love you too, Craigifer. Night.".

Once I had made sure no one else was going to text me, I locked my phone as I plugged it into the charger. I rolled over, burying my face in the pillows once again, letting sleep overtake me.