My Apocalypse

"Are you trying to get your ass sent back to jail?" I heard Monte yelling as I walked through Ronnie's door. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Don't scold me like I'm fucking three," Ronnie rose from the couch, getting in Monte's face. I lent against the threshold to the living room, watching. Monte grabbed Ronnie's shoulders, pushing him back down onto the couch. I hadn't ever seen Monte get so aggressive, he must really be pissed.

I noticed Craig, Rob, Ron, and Jacky in the corner of the living room, watching intently. Craig saw me and nodded his head. Monte noticed this and looked towards my direction, as did everyone else.

"Can we have some privacy?" I asked, walking over the threshold. The men nodded, walking past me into the kitchen where they lit cigarettes and talked in hushed tones. I made my way over to the couch, sitting next to Ronnie. He didn't look at me. He just looked down at his shoes. "What happened?"

He sighed, biting his lip. "I––I don't know, Ash, I just... I blacked out," I saw his eyes get watery, and a tear rolled down his cheek. "I didn't mean to, Ashley. I'm s-so sorry,"

I hugged him tightly as he sobbed, rocking him back and forth gently. I noticed the tattoo on his forehead, it read "unbreakable". I really thought it suited him until this point. The truth is, he's not unbreakable. No one is. It's a facade we all put on. We put up a tough exterior, but then on the inside we're fragile. Especially Ronnie.

I wanted so desperately to be mad at him; tell him I hate him and leave him wallowing in his self-pity until he breaks. But, I love him. He was only trying to protect me, but Max is also my best friend and hurt pretty badly. I know no one is making me chose sides, but what do I do?

Ronnie finally stopped crying, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Will you ever forgive me?"

I nodded, "I forgive you, but you're going to have to talk with Max. He's not feeling so hot."

"I promise. No, fuck that. I pinky-fucking-promise." Ronnie kissed me softly.

***

"They're keeping Max overnight for observation," Craig announced as he placed Ronnie's land-line phone on the receiver. "I guess he's still kind of out of it."

I sighed. I was glad he was staying at the hospital where he would be safe, but then again I was sad that he was in such poor condition that the hospital would chose to keep him over night. Ronnie squeezed my hand reassuringly. I smiled weakly at him.

"So," Craig mumbled. He looked uncomfortable. "I'm uh... I'm gonna take off. Are you coming Ash?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna crash here tonight. Thanks though."

"O-Okay. Night. Love you." Craig said as he shut the front door behind him. Ronnie locked the door, and plopped back on the couch with me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I looked at the clock on the wall, it read 11:47.

"Alone at last," Ronnie grinned.

And we were. Everyone else called it a night a couple hours after we all made amends. Ronnie even called Max to apologize, Max accepted the apology saying that if he were in Ronnie's shoes he would have done the same. I was glad Ronnie and I were alone, but scared. Alone meant alone. When a girl is alone with a boy things happen. Which I mean it happens to everyone eventually, unless you're a Nun, but even Nun's were teenage girls too, so they must have at least wondered about it. But then again I did tell Ronnie we would do it after tour, and it's after tour.

Ah shit.

"Ashley?" Ronnie's hand moved in front of my face. "Are you alive?"

"Wha––oh, yeah, I'm fine." I smiled. Am I ready for this?

"So... what do you wanna do?" I felt his hand run up and down my shoulder. I shuddered as a cold chill ran down my spine.

"Um, wanna watch a movie?" I suggested. Shit! That's how the shit starts!

"Sure," Ronnie got up, heading towards the stairs. "All the movies and the good TV are up in my room, wanna come help me pick?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Actually, how about you just surprise me. I'm gonna make some popcorn. I'll meet you up there." Smooth.

He just shrugged. Once he was at the top of the stairs I ran into the kitchen. I looked through the cupboards for the popcorn. I finally found it in the cupboard next to the fridge. I unwrapped the package and put the bag in the microwave, pressing the popcorn button. I sighed nervously, watching the time on the microwave. "I can do this," I reassured myself. "I'm ready."

The microwave beeped causing me to jump. I took the popcorn out of the microwave, shaking the bag as I walked upstairs, shutting off any lights in my path. I found Ronnie in his room, putting a DVD in the BluRay.

"21 Jump Street sound okay?"

I nodded, crawling onto the huge bed. I immediately sunk into the mattress. I felt as if I were sitting on a cloud. "Oh my lord,"

Ronnie must have known what I was talking about because he just laughed as he too sunk into the mattress with the remote. I sprawled out onto the bed, letting the silk sheets and the mattress maximize my comfort level.

"The fuck is this thing? 100% cloud?"

"Memory foam," Ronnie opened his arms, practically begging me to crawl into them. I obliged, letting him wrap me in his arms on this silk cloud. We didn't even pay attention to the movie, we just layed there in our comfy goodness.

He pressed his lips against my forehead, earning a smile from me. I looked up at him, pressing my lips against his. He kissed back passionately, deepening the kiss as he cupped my face with his tattooed hands. I smiled into the kiss as Ronnie rolled me over onto my back. He hovered over me, breaking the kiss. He moved the hair out of my face.

"You're so beautiful,"

"Ronnie," I groaned.

"What?" he laughed.

"Shut up and kiss me,"

He pressed his lips to mine again as his hand trailed up my shirt. I was ready for this. I love Ronnie, he's not going to hurt me. I wanted nothing more than to finally give in to my hormones, and that's what I planned on doing.

Tonight is the night I become a woman.