My Apocalypse

To my surprise, Max was handling the news better than anyone. We haven't told everyone yet, just Craig. Ronnie decided we would wait until the second trimester to announce it to everyone. Including the press.

That was all Ronnie's idea. I didn't want to announce it to anyone. I'm not even completely sure if I want this baby.

Even though Ronnie is excited, I can tell he's having second thoughts too. One minute he'll be completely fine, laughing, kissing me, touching my flat tummy (which is getting really fucking annoying already). Then the next minute he won't even look at me, he'll avoid physical contact, and every time I start to talk about the baby, he'll change the subject.

How is Ronnie going to care for a child? How is Max? They're famous, they're in bands, they tour, they're gone for months.

Better yet, how am I going to care for a child? I've never even held a baby before. I didn't finish high school so I can't get a good job. I don't even have my own place, I'm just schmoozing off Max.

"Ashley?" Craig called, snapping me out of my thoughts. He sat next to me on my bed, placing a hand on my shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

I told Craig I was pregnant last night. He was mad at first––like beyond pissed––but then he started crying. He hugged me for what seemed like hours. I haven't told him it might not be Ronnie's, but I plan to.

I sat up, sighing. "To be honest Craig, I'm fucking terrified."

I was glad it was just Craig and I for once. Robert was having lunch with his new girlfriend, Melissa, and her parents, Monte was spending time with his brother, Max was shopping for a new bass, and Ronnie was getting lunch for us. I missed spending time with Craig.

"I don't blame you, I'd be terrified too."

"Craig can I tell you something?"

"You know you can."

I sighed again. Well, here it goes. "The... the baby m-might not be R––"

"I'm home!" Ronnie announced from downstairs. "With food!"

Son of a bitch.

I followed Craig downstairs into the kitchen. Craig automatically shoved past Ronnie playfully, grabbing his order from the McDonald's bag. He sat at the table and dove right in. He had french fries and a cheeseburger.

Ronnie turned to me, pecking my forehead. His hand rubbed my stomach. I shoved it away a little more harshly than I should have.

"Can you not?" I hissed.

Ronnie slammed a fork onto the counter, making me jump. "What's your problem?"

"That's so freaking annoying!" I yelled. "Do you know how irritating it is to have someone touch your stomach every five minutes? It feels weird."

"Well excuse me for being excited!"

"Hey, Guys," Craig called from the table. We ignored him.

"That doesn't mean you have to fucking paw me!"

"Guys," Craig called.

"Well what else am I supposed to do? I can't reach into your stomach to hold him!"

"It's not even a him, Ronnie!"

"Guys!" Craig yelled over us.

Ronnie glared at me, shoving the bag in my arms. He silently grabbed his keys, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" I called after him.

"Don't worry about it." and with that he slammed the door, making the foundation of the house shake.

I set the bag on the counter carefully. I grabbed the spoon Ronnie had and humchucked it across the kitchen. "Bastard!"

I sank to the floor, crying pathetically. Craig came running over, getting on the floor with me. He hugged me tightly.

"I can't d-do this, C-Craig." I sobbed.

"What do you mean?"

"I c-can't have this b-baby,"

"Why? Just because Ronnie had a bitch-fit? Ash that's no reason to consider ab––"

I cut him off, shaking my head. "The baby might not be Ronnie's."

"What?" Craig could barely form the words. I expected this much.

"The baby not––"

"Yeah, yeah I got that part," he sighed. "Who else?"

"Don't hurt him," I pleaded.

"I won't."

"You promise?"

Craig nodded. "I promise."

"I slept with Ronnie on Tuesday and on Wednesday I slept with..." I hesitated. God, Max is going to kill me if he survives this. "M-Max."

He just blinked. "Ashley..."

"I know, I know," I sighed. "I was really fucking stupid."

"Both unprotected?"

"Y-Yeah, but Ronnie um..." I searched for words that wouldn't embarrass the both of us. "Pulled out."

"Max didn't?"

"No, he didn't use anything."

Craig covered his face with his hands, groaning. "I knew this would happen. You two were always so close."

"That's why I can't have it."

"Ashley, I know this isn't my place, but... please don't kill my niece or nephew just because you didn't use a condom," his eyes were starting to water. "I don't care that you were 'careless' or 'stupid' or whatever you say, but please Ashley. This is all I ask."

I nodded slowly, thinking honestly about what he said. I can't take away his only niece or nephew. Our parents would be devastated if I took away their only grandchild. Mom would be so happy that I was pregnant, she's always wanted grandchildren. Dad wouldn't be happy about my age, or that I don't know who the dad is, but he'd be happy.

"Okay," I said. "I'll keep it... for you, and for mom and dad."