My Apocalypse

The next few days were more than hectic. Ronnie and I were constantly fighting, Max wouldn't really talk about the baby, Craig wouldn't shut up about the baby so Monte and Robert found out. Ronnie told his father, and his brother. I think the only people Ronnie didn't blab to were the press. I was definitely not ready for that. I wasn't ready for any of this.

I know it's not anyone's fault but mine; I was the hormonal teenager who was too stupid to forget condoms and slept with two different people in the same week. Oh, what a lovely mother I'll be. Pfft.

"Hey," said Ronnie as he came into my bedroom. I looked up to see he was holding flowers and a onesie. I just smiled weakly in response as he sat on my bed, handing me the peace offerings. "I'm uh... I'm sorry."

I just looked at the small bouquet of pink roses and the yellow onesie. It had big bold letters that read "Freshly Squeezed" with a cartoon-like lemon above it. It really hit home when I realized my child, my daughter or son will wear this. A teeny tiny baby; my baby.

"I know I've been a dick lately..." I realized that Ronnie was still talking and I had no clue what he was saying. I looked up at him. "I guess I'm just kind of stressed out too, I mean... we're going to be parents, Ashley. I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"And you think I am?" I scoffed.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Look," I set the peace offerings on my bed neatly. "I get it. I don't really want this anymore than you do, but I made a promise to C––"

"Don't want this?" he cut me off. "What?"

I sighed, looking down at my non-existent stomach. "At first I wanted an abortion, but Craig talked me out of it."

In an instant Ronnie jumped up from the bed, pushing my nightstand over, shattering a glass and lamp that was on top of it. He kicked the nightstand, breaking the drawer. I lifted my feet onto the bed, curling into a fettle position.

"What the fuck, Ashley?" he turned to me, screaming as he broke another drawer. "You were going to kill my baby?"

"It's my body!"

"Fuck your body!" Ronnie ran his fingers through his hair before kicking the night stand again. "That's my baby! I'll be damned if I'm going to let you fucking kill it."

I picked the roses up off the bed, throwing them at him. I missed, the flowers landed on the floor. I pointed at the door angrily. "Get the fuck out!"

"You don't tell me what to do!"

"OUT!" I practically screamed at the top of my lungs. "We're done!"

He looked at me, shaking his head. He stormed out of my bedroom, stomping on the roses. He slammed the door shut, but not before punching a hole in my bedroom wall.

***

Max got home an hour after Ronnie left. I met him at the door. He hung up his coat and slipped his shoes off.

"What's up?" he asked.

"If Ronnie comes here again you can tell him to go ram a fucking dildo right up his goddamn fucking ass." I spat. "I don't want to see him again." I was still fuming mad.

"Whoa, what happened?"

"Come in my room, I'll show you what fucking happened." I didn't wait for Max to agree, I just went upstairs and into my room, leaving the door open. I left everything as it was, I never cleaned up anything which was extremely hard. Max followed me into my bedroom.

"What the... fuck?" he looked at the hole Ronnie had punched. "Is that a hole in my wall?"

"Yeah, Ronnie punched it."

"Are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?"

"Oh no, I'm fine. He didn't touch me."

Max wrapped me in his arms, making it kind of awkward. I hated how he babies me, but it felt good to have it be him instead of Dickwad (Ronnie).

"I'm gonna make some phone calls. Don't touch anything. You don't need to be cleaning this in your state."

"Max, I'm pregnant; not disabled."

***

The next day Ronnie showed up. Max told him I wasn't home, but Ronnie didn't give up easily. He showed up seven times in one day. From ten in the morning to ten at night. He called my cellphone obsessively. I had Craig take me to Verizon to change my number.

It amazed me how much a baby really does change everything. I'm going to be a single parent now. I know Craig is going to spoil this baby rotten, but I want him or her to have a father in their lives. But until Ronnie smartens up, it's not going to be him.

I groaned from the couch, holding my chest. Max looked up from his laptop. "You good?"

"My boobs ache." I announced.

"Oh..." he blushed and turned his attention back to the laptop.

I laughed, "Oh come on Max, you've seen me naked I think you can handle me telling you my boobs hurt."

"I can massage them if you'd like?" Max winked.

I covered my chest with my hands, scoffing. "Pervert," I joked.

"You know what I just noticed?" Max was staring at me intensely. I stayed silent, awaiting a response. "You have a bump already."

"I do not!" I jumped off the couch, running to the bathroom downstairs. I lifted my shirt in the mirror and sure enough, a tiny part of my stomach was protruding. "I'm too early."

"I read online that thinner girls get them sooner," Max was standing behind me in the mirror. "And let's face it Ash, you're a stick."

I ignored Max, running my hand over my tiny bump. "That's my baby..." I mumbled.

I jumped slightly as Max wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. His head rested on my shoulder. I looked at us in the mirror, smiling. We looked good together. I watched in the mirror as Max's hands slid under mine to rest on my little bump. I saw him smile weakly, but just as quick as he had wrapped around me, he broke the embrace.

That's the most affection he's ever showed towards the baby.

"Max," I started. "Y-You know there's a possibility it's yours... right?"

Max just sighed, I saw him nod in the mirror. "Yeah I know... that's––that's why I don't want to get too attached, y'know? Just in case Peanut isn't mine."

"Peanut?"

"I give her a nickname." he blushed.

"Her?"

"Grandmother says it's a girl..." Max mumbled. "She's got like a sixth sense or something."

"You told your Grandmother?" Max just nodded, blushing again. "Seems like you're already attached Maxy-Moo."

"Ronnie doesn't deserve you, and he sure as hell doesn't deserve Peanut."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"You know you can," Max wrapped his arms around me again from behind. He placed light kisses on my neck.

"I hope and pray that you're the father."

"Y-You don't mean that,"

"Yes, I do. I want Peanut to be yours."

That was the cold hard truth. Ronnie wasn't going to come within two miles of this baby until he stops acting like one, even if it is Max's. I wanted Max to be the father. I don't mind if Max touches me, it didn't bother me like it did with Ronnie. I don't mind when Max gives Peanut little nicknames, I don't mind that he told his Grandmother.

There were four things that I wanted in this world: Peanut to be born, Max to be the father, food in our tummies and a roof over our head. Those were the only things that mattered to me right now. I needed to grow up––quick. I needed to get my shit together and bring my baby into this world.

I needed to be a good mother.