Hypocrite

“Heyooo!” I heard Terra call from my entry way, but I also heard more than one set of footsteps. Three. A bit disgruntled at my uninvited guests, I finished washing my hands in the bathroom and hurried off to the front door to see who was here.

Terra was busy fiddling with the straps of her gladiator sandals, and behind her was Frank toeing off his chucks. And behind him, was Gerard. Gerard threw me an awkward smile, and I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't responsible for his being here. Frank probably dragged him along, thinking that the two of us would end up canoodling or something during the movie. Fat chance.

“I was going to call you and tell you they were coming, too. Then I decided that you would be pissed off either way, so surprise!” I threw Terra a frown before heading into the kitchen to make popcorn. She could choose the movie; I was too grumpy to enjoy it now, anyway. I didn't like people in my apartment. Especially people that I only knew for one night.

But, let’s face it. I wasn’t too angry about Frank being here. He wasn't that bad of a guy, we got along pretty well, all things considered. It was Gerard that I didn't want here. He might see that I didn't actually have backed up artwork, and think that’s free game to invite me out on all sorts of dates and shit.

When I came back into the living room, I wasn't surprised to see that Frank and Terra were already snuggled up across the sofa, leaving the loveseat to Gerard and I. With a look to Terra, I could see that she had planned this. That bitch.

Pressing myself as far against the armrest as I could, I tried to put distance between Gerard and I. At this point, my no-care attitude about hurting his feelings was making itself known, but I pushed that down. If I cared about his feelings, he might think I feel tingling in my loins for him. Absolutely not.

Nothing happened. Halfway through the movie, I made my way to the fire escape so I could smoke a cigarette. Being by myself for the next few minutes didn't seem like something God wanted, because I soon found myself sharing my cigarette-time with the object of my distaste. Gerard.

“Do you want me to go home or something, Iris?” He asked absently, and I turned my head slightly to look at him. Did I? Honestly, I did. But... I didn't want to come off as a bitch - he might complain to Frank and Frank would cause problems with Terra over me. So, I shook my head and earned a small smile from him.

“It sure seems like it. Do you still want to go to the movies tomorrow? You don’t have to, you know.”

“It’s fine, we can go. It’s just complicated, don’t worry about it.”

“Good. I thought I had made you hate me already. I didn't want to have to break out the Way charm,” Right, that was his last name. Way. I rolled my eyes, but it ended up looking playful and Gerard gave me a slanted grin. I examined his face, and found that when he smiled like that, it was pretty cute. In a weird way, like he wasn't so bothersome to be around. I think if he and I were in an actual relationship, and he smiled like that, I'd probably kiss him or something.

“Your charms won’t work on me. I’m impervious.”

“I accept your challenge,” That was all he said to me before stubbing out his cigarette and climbing back into my apartment. I stared after him, my stomach doing somersaults. I couldn't tell if I was anxious or excited.

The fact that I couldn't decide was what scared me the most.



My pseudo date with Gerard went okay, I guess. Nothing really happened, and when he tried to sneak a kiss after bringing me home, I slyly managed to slip into my house. Later, he texted me and asked if he could take me out again. It took me a few hours before I could give him a sure response. With a small bit of reluctance, I agreed to a second date.

Gerard said he would get back to me when he thought of somewhere nice to go. I wasn't too worried about it; I already regretted saying yes, and I’d probably give him some lame excuse once he figured something out. I’m not sure why I gave him false hope like that. Maybe spending so much time being a bitch and reaping the rewards of faking issues finally corrupted my compassion.

I puffed on my cigarette as I painted, listening to Terra ramble on about Frank - he’s so cute, so courteous, so kind. I wanted to gag, but I opted to quietly listen to her gushing like she’s some pre-teen who just discovered the Backstreet Boys.

Howie was always my favorite.

“Anything new with you and Gerard?” I knew this question was coming. I used my tongue to flick the cigarette, uncaring that the ashes fell onto my sweatpants.

“We went to see The Dark Knight.”

“Was it good?”

“Yeah, it’s Batman. It would have been good no matter what.”

“I meant the date, you dumb ho,” she sniped, and I sighed in aggravation. Honestly, I just wanted to forget about this guy. Terra wasn't about to let it go, and Gerard had been trying to get a hold of me for over a week now.

“It was okay. I didn’t let him try anything, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“You stupid broad. He’s obviously interested in you. Why don’t you just give in and let him have a chance?”

“I told you already! I don’t want to deal with his problems, alright?” Terra was quiet for a long time, before I heard her sigh quietly. I set my paintbrush into its cup of water, and reached my hand up to take hold of my cigarette.

“Look. Gerard’s been trying to call me. I agreed to a second date, he said he’d get back to me about it. I regret saying that, and I don’t want another one, okay? I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He’s a good guy, but I don’t want the baggage he comes with, you know?”

“Why don’t you help him with his issues? Relationships are about working with each other, and you can’t get much more teamwork than helping each other with your problems.”

“We wouldn't be helping each other. I’d be helping him - I don’t have problems,” Terra fell silent again, and I knew she was about to say something that would piss me off. I took a few calming breaths to ready myself, and then she let the bomb drop.

“You do have issues, Iris. You need to really think about your life before you go off saying things about someone else’s. You’re my best friend, and that’s why I can go ahead and say that you’re being a bitch right now.”

“I don’t have issues, Terra. Look, I already said I didn't want to hurt his feelings. That’s why I’m not talking to him, Terra. I don’t need him getting attached to me, because when it comes down to it I just don’t want to be with Gerard. Don’t try and force us together, because we won’t happen,” With a final drag of my cigarette, I hung the phone up and grabbed my paintbrush. The serene lake I had been painting soon turned into a scene of fiery damnation.