The Three C's

“Next question?”
Sharpie, Jon, Bickell, Corey and I were on the stage answering questions for the fans, it was their chance to get to know us a little better.

A little boy was up, “My names Kyle, I’m from Chicago and my question is for Tazer,” I was in awe of his cuteness and laughed towards Jon, “I just wanna know, does Kane ever get on your nerves?”

I think the whole room was bursting out laughing, I looked towards Jon to see him smiling and shaking his head, “Oh boy,” Jon laughed, “That’s a great question and pretty much a no brain-er,” I threw back my head and laughed, “Yeah, well, uh, I don’t know, I like telling this story to people and I think Sharpie and Maggie would laugh about it. It was last year, we were actually in Toronto and we had a couple five on three power plays- This is just an example of Kane and I’s relationship, uh, on the ice, it gets a little crazy sometimes.”

“A little?” I laughed and Jon playfully shoved me and I stuck my tongue at him.

“And uh, say two, five on three power-plays and Kaner’s stick handling just doing his thing, ya know, throwing saucers across the ice- It was terrible ice, the pucks flying around everywhere, they clear it down over and over. Two, five on three power-plays down the drain, the whole time I’m yelling at him, I’m down at the goal, I want the puck. So we come off the ice and I’m just screaming at Kaner, I’m like, ‘Pass me the- puck’- I’ll bleep it out for now,” we were laughing because he almost said the whole thing, “So uh, next thing you know, he starts yelling back at me and we then we have about two minutes of us just screaming at each other on the bench and the guys know to just, leave it alone, we’ll take care of it, but then it just kind of got to another level where guys are starting to pull us apart on the bench. And so I’m still giving it to him, I’m like you have to use me, I’m out there and wide open, so use me. And sure enough, the next shift we go out there with Maggie here,” Jon said and we heard a few cheers and I laughed, “It’s a five on five, even strength and I pass it to Maggie at the red line, who passes it to Kaner. And as soon as I get rid of the puck I take a check and start as fast as I can for the net and then Kaner, with a two on two throws one of the nicest passes I’ve ever seen-“

“It was like through two defensemen,” I said and Jon looked at me and nodded his head.

“Yeah, through two defensemen, goes right to the net, lands right on my tape, I just need to tap it in. I look at him and I’m like ‘Nice Pass’,” the room starts to laugh, “He looks at me, so angry, not even happy that we scored a goal and starts swearing at me, he goes ‘Screw You’- Well, you know what he said,” Jon said and we’re all laughing, “He said it over and over, didn’t even celebrate the goal, it was the funniest thing ever and everyone on the bench is laughing because they knew what happened. So, uh, yeah, he definitely gets on my nerves a little bit.”

More questions were asked, we were talking about funny things that happened on road trips, some questions were about the game, but then we finally game to a great question. A teenage boy stands up and asks, “What were some good stories that started out normal, but just got out of hand?”

“Uh, a story, I don’t know if I have an actual story,” Sharpie started, “Maybe last year, after the Stanley Cup stuff started to die down, um, my brother was in town and one of our good friends from back home was with him and we were kind of just taking in the city and going from place to place and for some reason, we kind of got cornered on the street by a couple of people that wanted to talk to us- And I’m not going to say that they were stalking us- but,” the room filled with laughter, “And we had a police officer with us, we were driving in the car with him for the rest of the night. It was actually pretty fun, we were playing with the sirens,” we were laughing, “And were taking the thing and yelling through the loud speaker on the street. I don’t think you can do that in any old city.”

“Probably not,” the boy said, “Tazer do you have anything?”

“I don’t know if I wanna say anything,” he said and we all laughed, “I don’t think I have anymore filters.”

A man stood up with a question for Sharpie and Jon, wanting to know a prank. Sharpie and I look at each other and just start laughing.

“Well, pretty much all of the pranks that happen to me, I never find out officially who it is, but uh, it all relates back to Sharpie one way or another,” Jon said and I giggled, “I mean, when I am getting dressed for practice and I reach up to grab my helmet and a big glass of Gatorade powder hits me in the face, and I turn around and the only person left in the locker room is Patrick Sharp- I wonder who did it,” I am seriously cracking up laughing and leaning back in my chair, slamming my hand on the table, laughing hard.

“Did you ever get him back?” the man asked Jon.

“I mean, I can’t prove that it was him,” Jon said and I’m just trying to control myself.

“Ok, full disclosure here, Sharpie, because I know you can’t admit to much,” the man started, “Why don’t you give us a prank you’ve pulled on Tazer that maybe he didn’t realize, because maybe you weren’t in the locker room, if we could just get all out in the open right now.”

“I’ve actually never prank Jonathan before,” Sharpie said and the whole room is laughing.

“Wow,” the man laughed, “You heard it here guys.”

“Although, I will, uh, I will say,” Sharpie started, “That that particular prank that he just explain,” I’m like loosing it next to Jon, “My hands were clean of that one.”

“Well if you didn’t do it-“ Jon started and I raised my hand and the whole room is bursting out laughing and I’m wiping my tears because I’m laughing so hard.

“Why don’t you turn the other way,” Sharpie said and I watch as Jon looked at me and he looked surprised.

“You?!”

“Happy Holidays,” I said and the room was cheering and laughing.

“How many were you and not him?” Jon asked and I snickered.

“I’ve never pranked you in my life- Well, other than that one time,” I said and Jon scoffed. I stood up and hugged him, “I lerv chew.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said and we were all laughing.

More questions went by and soon it was getting closer for us to leave to got to another part of the convention. They called for the final question and these two teenage girls stand up, but before they ask their question, the room starts cheering and we look around confused. I feel arms around my shoulders and look up and smile at the sight of Pat coming in.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Corey said from next to me and we laughed.

“I thought I’d visit,” he said and then pulled a chair over and sat in-between Jon and I, “So, what have I missed.”

“Maggie confessed to multiple pranks-“

“I only confessed to my one and only prank,” I said and giggled.

“But I thought you did-“

“You hush,” I said and covered his mouth, “Or I’ll accidentally say something about you.”

“Hushing now,” Pat said quickly and the room burst into laughter.

“So our final question,” the man announced.

“I’m Paige and I’m a Kane fan,” the one girl said.

“And I’m Elaine and I’m a Toews fan,” the other girl said.

And then this boy jumped up from next to them, “And I’m Dustin and I’m a Maggie fan!”

We started laughing and I looked at Pat, “Guess you came in at a good time.”

“We were wondering if you three could have a dance off between the Kaner Shuffle, the Tazer Moon Walk and the Marshall Wobble.”

“Oh my god,” I laughed and shook my head.

Pat leaned forward and stole my mic, “What’s the Tazer moon walk?”

“Show us!” Corey yelled.

“Maybe you’re about to find out,” Sharpie said.

“Not a chance!” Jon laughed and I just shook my head.

“I’ll do the shuffle if he does the moon walk and she does the wobble,” Pat said, pointing his finger towards me and I tried to bite it, but he pulled back in time.

“I’ll do the wobble if ya’ll do it,” I said, pointing towards Sharpie, Corey and Bickell.

“No way,” Corey laughed.

“I-I don’t know how to,” Bickell and I scoffed.

“I call bull, Maggie tried to teach all of us,” Sharpie said and I laughed.

“Somebody get up!” someone yelled from the audience.

“I’m not on the ice! I can’t slide around like Michael Jackson,” Jon said and I laughed, “It’s not the same, I’m sorry.”

“Come on Tazer!” I said and then Jon sighed and got up when he started to get booed and attempted to do his version of the moon walk, “Oh my god.”

Jon patted Pat’s back, “You’re up!”

Pat sighed and walked over towards Jon and started to do the Shuffle against him and I just shook my head and laughed, “You’re up, Mags!” Sharpie called and I sighed and stood up, rubbed my hands together and walked over towards the end of the table.

“Oh, they even have music for you, Mags!” Corey yelled and I waved him off.

“I’ll come with you, Mags!” Sharpie said and then I laughed when he was going to do the wobble with me, which then made Pat get up and come over and then Corey drug Jon over and Bickell soon followed.

The room was cheering as the music started and Bickell, Corey, Jon, myself, Pat and Sharpie all stood on the stage and do the wobble, some worse than others.