You'll Never Take Us Alive

Me and Mikey are currently out by the ocean it's been weeks since Frank has left and everyday we get nearer and nearer to his due date. Everyday I got more nervous for Frank. I needed to find him. I thought he would follow the water routes like when he was younger. I can't stop thinking about the baby. Why would he think i'd try to kill someone I created? Someone WE created.

He's probably heard of what the clans used to do when a vampire got an angel pregnant. It once was that if a vampire got an angel pregnant in any way. From rape or just from mating all of them would be put to death. The vampire would have to kill the child and the angel latter by de-winging it. The vampire would be shot with a stake of the feathers of the angel. I don't think he realized we don't do that anymore. It's just really rare for it to happen. There hasn't been a vampire/angel hybrid in a while; it's a shock to all of us.

We've searched every water route through the whole land but there are no traces of him. Either he cleaned up his tracks well or he didn't follow the routes this time. If he didn't follow the routes then where the hell would he be, god damn it! I was on the edge of insanity from worrying. I needed to find them so I knew they were safe and will be safe for as long as they could be.

In the distance I heard a cry. An angel baby's cry. Oh my god. That could be Frank soon and I wouldn't be there. I wouldn't be there to hold his hand or whisper sweet nothings in his ear to distract him from the pain for when he's giving birth. To encourage him and keep him from giving up. To look over and see my child's head slowly being pushed out of my lover.

I wouldn't be there to see my newborn child out of my lover's stomach. I wouldn't be there to see him or her open their eyes for the very first time and softly wrap their small, little hand around my pinky. I wouldn't be there to see them smile a toothless smile or have their first laugh. I wouldn’t hear the first cries of our child.

I looked over at Mikey. He seemed to have his poker face on, but in his eyes I could see worry in them. Worry for me, for Frank, for the baby. He walks over to me and gently puts a hand on my shoulder squeezing reassuringly. Worry that I’ll never see my child; worry that if I do Frank will push me away. Worry for the pregnancy and worry for Frank safely getting to safety. Angel pregnancies were hard for most.

Mikey’s eyes locked with mine. Slowly, I break down. My bottom lip starts to tremble slightly and my vision becomes blurry. Mikey sees this and his expression is now shocked; it took less then a second to change. He's never seen me cry. Not even when we were little kids. He wraps his skinny arms around me.

Hot tears escape my eyes as everything starts to finally sink in. My knees grew weak and I slowly fell to the ground bringing Mikey with me. I hugged him back tightly sobbing onto his shoulder.

It’s not fair. That Frank is gone and didn’t talk to me before he left. It’s not fair that if I don’t find Frank I never get to meet this child. It’s not fair that our child might not ever get to meet me. It’s not fair that I might not ever see Frank again.

Everything hit me like a train. I won't be there, I won't be there. Not for my child's birth. Not for when they open their eyes. Not for when they wrap their hand around my pinky. They won't know who their father is. I wouldn't be there when he or she will say their first word.

More tears fell from my eyes. I won't be there, I won't be part of my own child's life. I won't be there. I won't get to see Frank smile, cradling and cooing at our creation. My embrace around Mikey tightened and I kept sobbing onto his shoulder.

"Shh..., we'll find Frank and the baby will be alright." He whispered into my ear and rocked me back and forth. I just kept sobbing.