Hey Girl

Summer was officially over and Avery and I have both been busy with school and wok, not to mention our hockey teams. What little time we do have free, we spend it talking to our Tyler and Jamie it seemed like. I missed my best friend and I was going to hang out with her, no matter what it took.

I had managed to get tickets to a concert that sold out minutes after tickets went live and I was taking Avery and I knew she was going to love it. I couldn’t wait to get home and surprise her; I just hoped that she didn’t make any last minute plans since I spoke to her last earlier in the day.
I walked into the house humming a song that I haven’t had stuck in my head for years and I wasn’t even mad about it. I dropped my bags on the couch and listened for Avery. I could hear here talking softly, so I followed her voice and found her in her room with her laptop in front of her and Jamie’s shirtless figure taking up the screen.

“Looking good there, Captain Benn.” I winked, plopping down next to Avery.

“I’ll be sure to tell Segs you think so.” He teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him, causing him to laugh. “So sorry not sorry, but I’m stealing your girlfriend from you.” I informed him.

“For how long?” He pouted.

“The whole night. I’ve got a surprise for her.”

“Does this surprise involve a plane?” He asked, eyes filling with excitement.

Sadly I shook my head. “You know if we could swing a weekend trip to see you guys, we would. Things are just too crazy here right now.”

“Does this surprise involve alcohol?” Avery finally asked.

I laughed and looked at her. “Nope! I’m not telling you anything. Just dress comfortably and causally. We leave in twenty minutes.” I looked at the computer screen. “Got that Capitan? Twenty minutes. I’ll be back in fifteen to make sure you’re actually getting ready.” With that, I walked out of the room and into my own, stripping off the shirt I wore to campus for the day. I was excited for this surprise I had, what made it even better was the fact that I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it happen.

As I was humming to myself while looking for a shirt to wear, my phone buzzed on the night stand. I checked it, hoping it would be the conformation for tonight, but smiled anyway when I saw Tyler’s name.

From: T. Segs <3
Hey babe, what are you up to right now?

To: T. Segs <3
Just getting ready for my girls’ night out with Avery.

From: T. Segs <3
Oh yeah? And what is on the agenda this time?

Tyler was no means a controlling boyfriend, but he always liked to know where I was going and what I was doing. At first it was a little annoying, but over time I’ve really grown to appreciate the fact that he was worried about me thousands of miles away.

To: T. Segs <3
It’s a surprise and I’m not telling you! :p

As soon as I put a shirt on, I marched into Avery’s room. “Alright, your time is up. You tried to use Tyler against me and now that means you don’t get to get through your whole make up routine!” I grabbed her arm and dragged her out of her room. We grabbed what we would need for the night and were on our way.

Twenty minutes into the drive Avery finally asked the question I was waiting for. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, but believe me you’re going to love it!”

What Avery didn’t know was that I had managed to win tickets to the sold out Jonas Brothers’ reunion tour that she had been dying to go to but wasn’t able to actually get tickets. I knew we both were going to really enjoy this night together and relive our teenage years. As we continued to sit in traffic, my excitement started to build when I noticed cars decorated as well as signs for the arena traffic.

“Jamie wants to at least know where we are going to be. Can you tell me that much?”

I sighed with a loving smile on my lips. “If you would just look around, you’d know where we were heading in a heartbeat.” I stated, never taking my eyes off of the minivan in front of me.

“Why are we downtown? We only ever come down here when the Stars are in town.”

“Exactly. We are going to the Joe.”

It was a minute before Avery’s head whipped around to look at me. “Hannah.” She stated, very seriously. “Do you know who is at the Joe tonight?”

I blinked a few times and simply nodded, causing Avery to groan in frustration. “And do you know what?” I asked her as I pulled into the closest parking lot.

“Holy. Shit.” I turned to see Avery with her face pressed against the glass. “Are we seriously here right now?” She asked. “How?”

I laughed. “I managed to win tickets yesterday.”

I got out of the car and winced as I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I had been dealing with these cramps all day long and they were really starting to get on my nerves. Avery noticed my wince and raised an eyebrow at me in question, but I simply waved her off while reaching into my pocket for the Advil I had slipped in there before leaving the house.

“We have to go to Will Call.” I told Avery as we crossed the street. We ventured to the side of the building where I was told to go, not that I needed directions, and stood in line. We were thrilled to see our favorite usher working the window. He of course asked us how Jamie and Tyler were doing before allowing us to grab our tickets and go.

As soon as the tickets were in my hand, I let out a squeal and hugged Avery tight. We quickly made our way inside the arena and nearly cried when we saw the tour posters everywhere. Avery demanded that we grab merchandise before we got to our seats and there was no way that I was going to turn that down. So we joined the growing line to get something to commemorate our childhood and this experience. As we waited, I noticed the pain in my abdomen getting worse and it was getting hard to hide.

“Are you okay? You’ve been wincing and pressing into your stomach since we got here.” Avery asked, concern filling her voice.

I shrugged. “I’ll live. I just had the worse cramps right now.” Avery nodded and stepped up to the table in front of us. I took some deep breaths and tried to ignore the pain and enjoy my night.

As soon as the concert started, my pain was forgotten. All I was focused on was the three guys on stage, one of which I was sure I was going to marry. I reached for my phone and sent Tyler a snapchat, being sure to tease him with a break up for my teenage crush. The whole night was filled with excitement, laughing, singing, dancing, and even some tears. It felt like I was back in middle school again without a care in the world.

Once the concert was over, Avery and I decided to go to the bar we would always pre-game at when we would come into the city for the Wings games we’d attend. It was within walking distance to the arena so it was the perfect place to let traffic die down heading back into town. When we walked in we were greeted by the familiar scent of stale beer and fried food and the sound of chatter and billiard balls clanging together.

“Go grab us a table and I’ll get the drinks.” Aver called over the music spilling from the jukebox.

I sent her a nod and went to our usual corner near the pool tables and was happy to find our usual table was open. I checked my phone and laughed at the Snaps and texts from friends, players, and of course Tyler. I sent a few pictures of Avery to Jamie and made my obligatory social media posts before putting my phone away. Avery brought over pretzels and drinks for the both of us. We stood at our table, recounting our night, but the longer I stood, the more intense the pain in my stomach got. Ignoring it some more, I claimed an open pool table and waited for Avery to join me.
As the two of us played, the pain got worse. Suddenly I was feeling hot, sweaty and sick to my stomach. That’s when I knew I was in trouble. I leaned on the table in front of me as a fresh wave of pain crashed through me. I was vaguely aware of Avery calling my name before my world went black.



I laid in my bed staring at the same spot on the wall for over an hour now. I’ve been locked in my room for the past two hours just staring at the wall and wondering why life seemed to be so against me. A new wave of tears crashed over me as the ER doctor’s words floated through my head once again.

”Miss Malone, you had a cyst on one of your ovaries rupture. We’re going to do an ultrasound to see the amount of damage that was done. There is a high possibility that there are more cysts and they too could rupture.” He said grimly.

I looked over at Avery who was staring at me. I took a deep breath and glance at the doctor. “I’m guessing this has everything to do with the PCOS I was diagnosed with in high school.” I stated.

“PCOS? What’s that?” Avery asked, looking between me and the doctor.

The doctor simply nodded, giving me the go ahead to tell my best friend something that I’ve been keeping from her for years. “PCOS is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Pretty much what it means is that my ovaries are covered in little cysts. Normally it wouldn’t have caused a problem like this, but sometimes they can get too big and rupture. And let me tell you it hurts like a bitch.” I chuckled, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

A look of pure sadness and hurt crossed Avery’s face and made my heart break. “Why did you never tell me this?” She asked quietly, not looking at me. “We tell each other everything.”

I felt the tears burning my eyes. “A, it wasn’t because I didn’t want you to know. It was just something that I kept to myself because it was no one else’s business what was happening in my body. It wasn’t causing any major problems whether someone knew or not.” I looked over at my best friend. “Plus there was nothing either one of us could have done about this.”

“You’ve at least told Tyler right?”

I bit my lip and looked away. “No.”

“Hannah, he needs to know.” She looked over at the doctor. “What are her chances of getting pregnant?” I gasped and glared at my best friend. She had no right to ask that question. The question I refused to ask myself. The one I was afraid to hear the answer to, even now.

The doctor looked at me and sighed. “Before the rupture they were pretty low. With the rupture now, they are even lower. It all depends on the amount of damage done and a few other factors.” The tears slowly began to slip down my cheeks. “We need to do the ultrasound, Hannah. I’m going to go get the technician. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He said before standing up and leaving Avery and I alone.

“He needs to know. He has the right to know.”

“There is nothing he needs to know. I don’t even know what is going on!” I practically screamed.

Before Avery could say anything else, the doctor returned with the ultrasound tech. They quickly explained what they were going to do and what they are looking for. Ten minutes later I was able to get dressed again and waited for the doctor to return with the results. When he came back in, he had a grim look.

“Hannah, there is no easy way to tell you this. The rupture was larger than we thought and did some damage. You also have one or two relatively large cysts that have me concerned about future ruptures. I’m suggesting a partial hysterectomy to remove the damaged tubes as well as removing the ovaries with the larger cysts on them.”

I sobbed. I was unable to form a coherent word, let alone a sentence. All I knew is that my chances of getting pregnant just dropped to practically zero. I was vaguely aware of the doctor scheduling my surgery for later that day. In the back of my mind I knew I should have called Tyler and filled him in on what was going on, but he and the team were on their West Coast road trip. I should have called my parents, but let’s face it they weren’t going to drop what they were doing and come up here. I did call Dalton and Brooke and fill them in and they were worried. I promised them that I’d have Avery call them when I was out of surgery.

Eventually my surgery rolled around and I instantly regretted not telling Tyler what was going on, but it was too late. Avery promised that she’d be right where she was when I got out of surgery and that’s all I remember before they started the steroids and wheeled me to the OR.
Two days later, I was on my way home and I was numb, both physically and mentally. I didn’t speak a word to Avery other than asking her if she called my brother. When I was satisfied with the answer, I went straight to my room.

“HANNAH MALONE!” Avery’s voice cut through my thoughts. I bit back a sob and croaked back a response. “GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!”
Not bothering to respond to her, I rolled over and hugged my pillow to my chest. I knew that she wasn’t going to leave me be, but I was hoping that she would. I continued to lay there with my heart broken until my bedroom door swung open and Avery stood there with a triumphant smile on her face.

“Bobby pin.” She smiled. “Self high-five.” She gave herself one and I smiled. “Now, you’re going to get your ass out of that bed and join me in the living room.” She came over the bed and grabbed my arm, pulling me up. “I didn’t know what you could and couldn’t eat and drink, so there are lots of snacks and drinks out there.” She looked over at me and frowned slightly. “I didn’t know if you could laugh, but I got a funny movie for us to watch.” She said all while pulling me into the living room of our apartment.

I couldn’t help but smile at my best friend. She was trying her hardest to make me feel better even though she didn’t know what really was going on. “I love you Avery.” I hugged her. “And yes, I can laugh. When have I ever let being in pain stop me from laughing?” I asked her.

She gave me a nod before turning on the movie and joining me on the couch. After a few minutes of silence, she turned to me. “So, can you tell me what is exactly wrong with you? I understand that something ruptured and now you most likely can’t have kids, but that’s all I know.”

I took a deep breath and explained what exactly the condition I had been living with was and everything that went along with it, including the possibility of infertility. I wasn’t able to keep the tears away as I spoke, but Avery never once blinked an eye before wrapping me in her arms and giving me a hug.

“I never knew that’s what you’ve been going through all these years. That must suck.”

I shrugged. “Until now, it’s never really caused me any problems. Sure, the idea of not having kids has always nagged at me, but for the longest time that was never really a problem.”

Avery nodded sympathetically, “and now that you’re with Tyler it was an idea.” I nodded, tears once again falling down my face. “He needs to know, Hannah. I’m not going to push you to tell him, but I think he deserves to know. This could potentially affect his future as much as yours.”
I nodded. “How do I tell him though?”

Avery shrugged. “I don’t know, but you better figure it out soon because they are coming to visit in three days.”

I groaned and slid back on the couch, hissing as the small incision site burned with the movement. I totally forgot that Jamie and Tyler were coming to visit the two of us on their two days off that coach had given the team. Before I ended up in the emergency room, I was thrilled to see Tyler since it had been a while since we have seen each other. Now though I was dreading seeing him. I was scared to see how he’d react to the news.

Worrying about the impending visit, I went back to my room and resumed my position on my bed. This was going to be hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day of Tyler and Jamie’s visit arrived and I was finally able to move without wincing all the time. There were still some movements that hurt like a bitch, but I was able to move about the apartment easier. I had straightened up the apartment while Avery went to pick the boys up. I had gotten over the nerves of telling Tyler and I was now very excited to see him.

I was just about finished with filling the dishwasher when the front door opened and in walked Tyler, followed by Jamie and Avery. Before I could stand up straight, I was being scolded by Avery.

“What did I tell you about doing those? I said I would get to them.” She stood there staring at me with her hands on her hips. “You are still not supposed to be bending over.” As soon as she said that, my eyes went wide and I quickly glanced over to Tyler who was staring at us with a confused look.

“Fucking hell, Avery.” I sighed, shutting the dishwasher. I leaned on the counter with my eyes closed.

I felt a hand on my back and smiled to myself when Tyler’s familiar cologne filled my senses. “Han, what does she mean by that? What happened?”

I sighed and shook my head, pulling away from him. I tuned to Avery and glared at her. I went to walk out of the kitchen, but Tyler grabbed my arm. “What did Avery mean about you not bending over?” When I didn’t say anything, he turned his attention to Avery. “A?”

She shook her head and looked at me. “He needs to know Hannah.” She said before grabbing Jamie’s hand and dragging him out of the kitchen and out of the apartment. The room was silent except for the sound of the running dishwasher and our even breathing. I closed my eyes again and prayed that this was all a nightmare, that when I opened my eyes Tyler wasn’t going to be standing in the kitchen staring at me. I took a deep breath that got stuck in my throat when I heard the now familiar sound of pills hitting the side of a bottle. Shit. I thought I had put the bottles in one of my drawers in my room. I shook my head at myself, I didn’t need to hide my medication from my boyfriend like I was some addict. So what if I left them on the kitchen counter as a reminder to myself to take them?

“What the fuck are these for, Hannah?” Tyler asked, not looking at me. “What the hell happened while we were apart? What is going on?”

I took a shaky breath and looked at my angry boyfriend. “They’re pain pills and the bottle next to it is an antibiotic.”
“What the fuck for?” Tyler practically yelled. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I had surgery while you were on your road trip.” I finally admitted, not looking at him.

Tyler threw his hands up and began pacing the kitchen. “And I’m just now finding out about this, why?”

“Because you didn’t need to know.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Stupid, stupid, stupid

“I didn’t need to know?! My girlfriend gets surgery and I don’t need to know about it?! What if something would have happened, Hannah? Did you ever think of that?”

In fact I didn’t. I was more concerned with trying to find out why I was in pain. “Nothing happened. I’m fine, other than some normal soreness. There is nothing to worry about.”

Tyler scoffed. “Obviously there is because why else would you need surgery? What was it for?”

I sighed. “A ruptured cyst.”

He cocked his head. “A cyst? That’s it?” I nodded, not sure if I should tell him more. “Where was this cyst?” He finally asked, after studying me for some time.

“My ovary.”

“What?” He asked quietly now. “Hannah, that’s not something to not tell someone!”

“I told you, just not when I ended up in the ER.”

“Jesus, Hannah. The fucking ER? When did this happen?”

I sighed. “A week ago? Avery and I were out and suddenly I had the worst pain radiate through my lower abdomen. It felt like a huge cramp and someone stabbing me with a red hot knife all at the same time.” I looked away from Tyler and down at my feet. “I knew something was wrong when the pain wouldn’t go away. I had been dealing with the pain all day, but I thought they were just camps since I can get them pretty bad. I didn’t think anything of it until I passed out. ”

When I looked up, Tyler was scrolling on his phone and that pissed me off. Before I could say anything, Tyler looked at me with a frown. “There’s more you’re not telling me.” He turned his phone so I could see what he was looking at and right there on the screen were reasons for cysts on ovaries and the top one was polycystic ovaries. “Is this why it happened?”

Tears burned my eyes once again as I simply nodded. “I’ve had PCOS since high school.”

“Why did you never tell me?” He asked, running a hand through his hair.

“Because it didn’t seem important. I’ve never had a problem with it…until now. There was no reason for you to know. No one but my mom knew I had it. It was totally normal for me to take birth control without people questioning the state of my ovaries.”

“But you weren’t in any serious relationships. This is something to tell your significant other!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me, Tyler. My disease has no effect on you. It’s not contagious and it can’t ruin my life more than it already has.”

“I thought you just said that you hadn’t had any problems with what you have before.”
“I haven’t. Read your research and you’ll figure it out.”

I walked out of the kitchen and went into the living room. He was going to figure it out. He was going to freak out and hate me I just knew it. The tears that I held back in the kitchen made their way down my face as I waited for him to make the connection. I took a seat on the couch and waited, what felt like an hour later, Tyler emerged from the kitchen. I slowly looked at him and saw how pale he had gotten.

“You can’t get pregnant?” He whispered.

I choked out a sob and shook my head. “Tyler, the cyst that ruptured did some damage to my uterus and the only way to salvage what was left was to remove the damaged portion, as well as the ovaries that had large cysts on them.”

If it was even possible, Tyler got even paler. “You had a….a…hysterectomy?”

“A partial one.”

“So no matter what you can’t get pregnant?” He began to pace the living room. “You should have fucking told me that there was a possibility of this! I should have been made aware!” He threw his hands up in the air and tuned to face me. “Hell Hannah, didn’t we already have this fight? The whole not keeping things from each other. Do you not remember that? We promised each other!"

“I felt that you didn’t need to know.” I admitted. “I would have told you eventually, but I wanted to make sure it was certain that there was the chance that I couldn’t get pregnant.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “Plus, how was I supposed to know that we would get serious? Hell, how was I supposed to know you’d even fucking like me?”

“You’re going to go there?”

I shrugged and looked away from him. “It’s true. I wanted to make sure that what we had would last. There was no point in telling you what I had going on with my body when it potentially wouldn’t affect you.”

“Well guess what Hannah? It’s affecting me. I love you and you hid something major from me. How would you feel if I did something like that to you? What if you had to find out that I had surgery after hearing Jamie or Freddy yell at me for doing something as simple as loading the dishwasher? That would make you feel pretty shitty, wouldn’t it?” He sighed and began pacing the living room. “Now imagine being away from me for two months and then not hearing about it until after the fact. Dammit, Hannah!”

I winced at the volume and emotion in Tyler’s voice. I knew he had every reason to be upset with me, but for some reason I felt the need to fight back. “How dare you get mad at me over this!”

“I have every right to be mad at you, Hannah! You kept something from me, something important. Not only that, but you lied to me and had Avery lie to me. I asked how you were doing almost every day for the last week because I knew school was probably stressing you out, but here you were lying in a hospital bed for who knows how long recovery from surgery!” He took a deep breath and ran his hands though his hair. He looked at me and my heart stopped at the look of betrayal in his eyes. “How could you do that to me?”

“I didn’t do it to hurt you, Tyler. I just didn’t know how to even approach the subject without scaring you away. What did you want me to do, the fist week we stated dating drop a bomb on you that I have a condition that may prevent me from having children? I don’t think that’s very good first month of the relationship conversation. Do you? You can’t tell me the mere mention of children wouldn’t have had you running for the hills as fast as you could.”

Tyler sighed and took a seat on the couch. “I wouldn’t have even listened to you. The version of myself that I was when we first met and started dating, never thought of children of his own. But Hannah, with you that is…was always a possibility. I want nothing more than to raise a family with you.” He said softly, tears filling his eyes.

I was silently sobbing next to him, he used past tense and that scared me. Was he going to leave me? Were we done? Was my inability to get pregnant the deal breaker? Was Tyler Seguin, notorious player in the NHL, ready to settle down? All these questions were running through my head and had it spinning. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I looked at Tyler who was looking down at the floor, his breathing shaky. Instinctively, I each my hand out and placed it on his shoulder, but pulled it away when he flinched. With the shake of his head, he got off the couch and walked to the door. Without a glance back towards me he walked out, letting the door shut softly behind him. A sob ripped though my home as I reached for my phone and dialed the one person who would be able to get me through this. Dalton.