With You All the Way

It was clean. It always was. Phil couldn't handle it if it wasn't, he couldn't sleep. He'd be up for hours and hours just scrubbing and polishing until there wasn't a spec of dust anywhere, until the flat felt more like a hotel than a home.

Dan hated it, he hated how Phil worked himself, worked himself until he literally collapsed because he had no time to eat or sleep.

But there was nothing that Dan could do about it. They tried to go step by step by step, an apple in the wrong place, putting a cushion slightly out of position, and for a while it worked, until Phil had a bad day.

When Phil came home, what he could usually ignore, the odd misplaced mat and the curtain slightly out of place, triggered an anxiety attack.

Dan came downstairs to find Phil rushing around the living room putting things in place and moving items and re placing stuff and he could hear Phils breathing getting heavier and stringer.

"Phil..Phil stop your going to do more damage than good"

"I can't its not right its not, I can't, I need it to be straight" Phil said frantically, his eyes flickering over every item.

Dan moved forward and took Phils face in his hands and stroked his thumbs over his cheekbones, Phils hands reaching up to grip onto Dans hips tightly.

"Phil, breath, do not look at anything but me. Just me"

Phil nodded and his eyes locked on Dans, his breath still heavy, short and desperate.

"Phil. Take one deep breath and hold it for a few seconds and release"

Phil nodded and took a deep breath and held it before releasing it, his chest shuddering with the effort.

"Good. There we go. Keep going just breath"

Phils breathing slowly returned to a safe level but his hands were digging into Dans hips, almost painfully.

"Dan.." Phil whispered, the thoughts of the mess behind him almost freaking him out again.

"Sshh. Just look straight at me. We're going upstairs ok? We're going to go upstairs and watch Buffy and then we're going to sleep yes?"

"Yeah. Ok but.."

"No" Dan said sharply, and grabbed Phils hand and pulled him towards the door.

Once they were safely up the stairs Dan pulled Phil into his own room and threw some pyjama bottoms at him before grabbing his own and walking to the bathroom.

When he came back in Phil was sat in the trousers cross legged on the bed fiddling with his hands and gnawing on his lip.

Dan moved to the bed and sat next to Phil, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry Dan" Phil whispered, tears starting to fall.

"Hey, don't worry its all right, we've all got our own thing" Dan whispered gently, running his hands up and down Phils back soothingly.

"Just why does mine have to be so annoying" Phil said, full out crying at this point.

"Its alright, we can get through this ok? One step at a time. Just little steps"

Phil nodded into Dans shoulder before pulling back and wiping the tears from his eyes before cuddling into Dans lap and nibbling on his thumb nail.

Dan ran his hands through Phils hair gently and loaded up the lap top.

"I want to get through this Dan"

"I'm with you all the way Phil, we can get through this"