Adventure

I stand beside my chair at the dining table and wait for the Royal family to join me and the Heads of the castle: Head Mage, Head Guard, and Head Healer. Crier is still resting, so he won’t be joining us.

The King enters the dining hall and sits at the head of the table. The Queen sits at the opposite end, and the Prince sits to the King’s right. I sit to the King’s left. As the Royal Adventurer, I am one of his most valuable subjects.

“Shouter,” the King says, and I look at him, “I’m glad to see you made it back alright.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I say, bowing my head.

“I’m sorry to hear about Crier, though. Poor boy.”

“He’ll be okay, though, sire,” Nina says. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Good.” The King nods as we are served dinner. “Other than Crier getting hurt, did everything else go okay?”

“Yes, sir, it did,” I reply.

“Very good.” He turns to his son. “Did you thank the Adventurer, son?”

“I did, Father,” Val says.

As Head Adventurer, I take the first bite, to make sure the food isn’t poisoned. When I don’t keel over, the others dig in.

I always have trouble trying to mind my manners when dining with the Royals; I am just naturally a sloppy eater.

I tuck my napkin into the collar of my shirt and start eating as politely as possible.

“Are you excited for your birthday, Valiant?” the Queen inquires of her son.

“I am, Mother,” Val says.

“Your father and I have already gotten your gift,” she says, smiling a dazzling smile.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Oh, stop it.” She waves a hand flippantly. “It’s something you’ve wanted for a long time, since you were a young boy.”

Val scratches his chin.

“Now, now, Alexandria,” the King says, “don’t give it away.”

“I’m not, George,” the Queen giggles.

The King smiles at his wife, and then he looks at Lionel. “Now, then, how do we fair against the Fairest King?”

“We fair well, M’Lord. The Fairest King stands no chance against us,” Lionel says.

The two of them engage in conversation about battle tactics.

Val looks at me. “So, are you coming to my party?”

“Do I really have a choice?” I say.

He smiles. “No, not really.”

“Then, I guess I’m going.”

“As my date,” he mumbles, throwing a glance at his father. But, the King is too deep in conversation with Lionel.

My eyebrows rise. “What?”

“As His Highness’s date, Shouter,” Nina says.

Arthur snorts. “The Adventurer is going with the Prince?”

“What’s this now?” The Queen’s sky-blue eyes dart between Val and me.

“Nothing, Mother,” Val says.

“The Prince wants to take the Adventurer to his birthday party,” Arthur says.

Valiant throws a dirty look at the mage.

“Oh, no, you’re not,” the Queen says, smiling. “I’ve already got you a date, Valiant.”

Val grimaces. “Mother…”

“She’s a lovely girl, Valiant. The daughter of Lord Bumbleweed. I believe her name is Maple.”

“Maple Bumbleweed? She’s dreadful.”

“You’ll be going with her,” the Queen says, and that’s that.

I go back to eating, completely sure that I would have said yes to Val.

* * *

“Where are you going?” Crier asks me as I yank the laces of my boots.

The party is tomorrow, and I decided that I will not be wearing the dress uniform. I’ll be wearing an actual dress. I don’t own one, so I’m going out to get one with the money Val gave me for our last quest. I figured Crier wouldn’t mind.

“Nowhere,” I say.

“Can I go?”

“No.” I stand up from my bed and cross to the door. “I’ll be back later.” I leave, closing the door behind me.

I leave the castle and head straight to the cheaper of the two dress shops in the Kingdom: Dresstopia.

The shop is in the process of closing, but the owner lets me in when I flash my red handkerchief that bears the Royal Seal—a roaring lion standing on top of a light blue diamond. Only those closest to the King get a handkerchief with the Royal Seal on it.

“How can I help you?” the pink fairy behind the counter asks. Like every fairy, her voice is much too sweet. I hate fairies.

“I need a dress,” I say under my breath.

“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I need… a dress.”

“Then, you’ve come to the right place!” She flits out from behind the counter and flies over to the clothing racks. “For what do you need the dress?”

“A party at the castle.”

“That’s right. The Prince’s birthday,” she says. Her cheeks turn bright red. “He is just so handsome, don’t you think?”

“Can you just help me find a dress?” I ask, shifting uncomfortably.

“Of course,” she tinkles. She flutters over to me and examines me. “I think a lavender color would look lovely with that dull brown hair of yours.”

Fairies. The sweetest, yet meanest, creatures in the world.

“Sure, whatever.”

“Or maybe red.” She goes back to the clothing racks and pulls out two dresses: a floor-length lavender gown with a really low neckline and a really poufy butt area and a red knee-length dress that is really simple and not very revealing. “Which one do you like better?”

“The red one.”

She puts the lavender dress back and makes me go try on the red dress behind a curtain toward the back of the store.

I reluctantly remove my shirt and tunic but keep my trousers on. I am planning on keeping them on for the party, anyway; I’ll just roll them up to my thighs so they don’t show under the dress.

The dress is made of a really soft, silky material. I’m not sure if I have enough money. Maybe the fairy will give me a discount because of my status in the King’s Court.

I slip the dress over my head and tug it down. It was loose. I am too skinny, and I have absolutely no figure. I may as well have been made with geometric shapes.

I pull back the curtain, and the fairy looks me over.

“Just a few adjustments…” She flies over my head, claps her hands, and pink dust falls down onto me. I feel the dress shrink to fit my body. “You look beautiful!”

“Thanks,” I say. “How much do I owe you?”

“Ten gold pieces.”

I have enough. After removing the dress and putting my shirt and tunic back on, I dump the pouch of gold Val gave me onto the counter. As the fairy counts, I shove the dress into my pack. She gives me a disapproving look, but she doesn’t say anything about it.

“Thank you for shopping at Dresstopia,” she says, putting the money in a locked drawer. “Have a nice night.”

Feeling like I just wasted a ton of money, I go back home.

Crier is still awake when I get back to our room. “Where’d you go?”

“For a walk,” I reply. I unlock my trunk, drop my pack into it, and lock it.

“Why was your pack all lumpy?”

“It wasn’t. You’re seeing things.”

“I don’t believe you. What’d you get?”

“Nothing. Go to sleep.”

He purses his lips and looks at the trunk. I hear the lock unlock, and the lid begins to open seemingly on its own.

I sit down on top of it, scowling at him. “Stop it, Crier.”

“Just show me what you got, and I’ll go to sleep.”

I’m beginning to consider asking the King for my own bedroom. “It doesn’t matter what I got. Just go to sleep.”

He scowls back at me. “You bought a dress.”

“Uh, no...”

He grins.

I look away. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He pauses. “Oh, what am I wearing?”

“Your dress uniform,” I say.

“Ah, right. Makes sense.” He lies down in his bed and pulls the blanket over himself with his good arm. “’Night.”

“’Night.”

I wait until he starts snoring—which doesn’t take long—to unwrap the strip of leather from my wrist. I never realized it until now, but it is over two feet long. I cut off a good bit with my sword. Whatever is left, I tie back onto my right wrist.

I start fashioning a bracelet out of the leather I cut off. When I am satisfied with it, I tuck it into my pack, lock the trunk again, and go to sleep.

I’m woken by my brother kicking my mattress.

“Wake up. The party’s starting soon.”

“What time is it?” I groan.

“A little after noon.”

“The party doesn’t start ‘til sundown.”

“I know, but you’ve got to put this lovely dress on, and that’ll probably take you forever. How do you work this thing, anyway?”

I open my eyes and see Crier holding my dress up to his body, trying to figure out how it goes. It is upside-down.

“Gimme that,” I snap, snatching it out of his hands. I shove it under my pillow. “Go away. Don’t you have some chefs to be bothering or something?”

“They shooed me out of the kitchen when I went in for breakfast,” he says with a frown. “I just wanted some oatmeal.”

“Go find Nina,” I say. “She’ll probably find something for you.”

He sighs. “Alright. I’ll see you later.” He leaves the room.

I sit up and pull the dress out from under my pillow. I smooth out the bigger wrinkles. I wish I hadn’t kept it in my pack all night and half of the day.

I lay the dress down beside me on the bed and stand up to stretch my limbs. Once my joints loosen up a little, I straighten my shirt and pull the seat of my pants out of my rear.

I leave the room, deciding to go to the armory to pick out a weapon that will go with my dress.

Sir Lionel is there, briefing his men and women on what they will be doing that night during the party. He notices me browsing the swords, hastily finishes giving orders, and dismisses his guards. He joins me at the weapon racks.

“Looking for something specific?” he asks.

“I, uh, need something that will, um, go with a dress.” I feel my face go hot.

“A… dress?” He is incredulous. I’m not surprised.

“Yes, a dress,” I say.

“Huh. Well, maybe a dagger would go better,” he says. He goes over to a rack on the wall on the opposite side of the room, reaches up, and pulls down a dagger. He gives it to me. “There you go.”

“Thanks.” I pick up a dagger sheath, strap it around my waist, and sheathe the dagger. It feels strange on my hip. Much too light. “Are you going to the party?”

“I’m obligated to go, yes.” He doesn’t sound happy.

“So am I.”

“Have a date?”

“Does arriving with my brother count?”

“No.”

“Then, no.”

“Well, would you do me the honor of being my date?”

I ponder for a moment. Lionel was one of the nicest guys in the Diamond Kingdom, and he wasn’t bad-looking, either; he had a mane of blonde hair that was almost white, pretty brown eyes, and really tan skin. I didn’t know exactly how old he was, but he was probably somewhere in his mid-twenties. Showing up with him might give Val a heart attack, since nearly everyone in the castle wants Lionel and me to end up together.

“Alright.”

He smiles. “I’ll come ‘round to get you at seven.”

I nod. “See you then.”

He waves as I leave the armory.

* * *

I have the dress on. I feel stupid.

“Wow,” Crier says for the thirtieth time. “I just—I can’t—Wow.”

I stand in front of the mirror, yanking a brush through my short, knotty hair. “Yeah, I know. It’s weird.”

“It’s beyond weird, Shouter.”

I throw the brush into my trunk. I hardly ever use it anyway.

I examine myself in the mirror again. For the first time in my life, I wish I had some red and white paints, or whatever the Ladies of the Court put on their faces, because I’m too tan. I’ll stick out like a sore thumb at the party.

I tap my thigh, making sure I have the bracelet. It is safely tucked in the pocket of my trousers.

There is a knock on the door, and Crier goes to open it.

Lionel stands looking very handsome in his dress uniform in the doorway. His eyes almost pop out of his head at the sight of me. “You look… weird. I mean, different. I mean—”

“Thanks.”

He blinks. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.” I look at Crier. “Are you ready?”

“Indeed, I am,” Crier says.

We leave the room. Once I lock the door, the three of us head upstairs to the ballroom. I can hear the orchestra playing.

“Are we late?” I ask. For some reason, I whisper the question.

Lionel checks his pocket watch. “No. We’re right on time.”

“Okay, good.” I don’t want to disappoint Val.

We pass the guards posted at the door and slip into the crowd of chattering, ostentatiously-dressed nobles.

I am so out of place.

“I think I see Hannah,” Crier says. “I’m gonna go talk to her.” He disappears into the crowd.

“And, I’ve got to check on my guards,” Lionel says, looking apologetic.

“Yeah, yeah. Go do whatever,” I say with a dismissive wave.

“I’m sorry. I’ll find you when I’m done.” He, too, disappears.
I meander over to the grand buffet, pick up a plate, and start piling food onto it.

The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stand up.

“Hungry?” a voice purrs in my ear.

I turn, knowing exactly who it was, see it’s him, and swiftly turn back to the food. “Maybe. What’s it to you, Nolan?”

“Just curious,” the vampire says. A ghostly-pale hand plucks a chicken leg from a platter. I hear him sniff. “Ugh. Smells revolting.” He puts the chicken leg back.

“Okay. Human rule number one: Don’t touch food you’re not going to eat,” I say, moving to stand next to him.

“My hands are clean,” he says, wiping his fingers on the seam of his blood-red pants. “Well, maybe not figuratively, but literally, yes.”

I start eating. Mouth full, I ask, “So, what’re you doing here?”

“Having the time of my life,” he says. He gives a fake yawn. “What about you?”

“I actually have no idea.”

“I saw you walk in with the Head Guard,” he says. “What’s with that?”

I shrug my shoulders. “He asked me if I wanted to go with him, and I said yes.”

“Huh. Weird.”

I shrug again.

“Oh, to answer your original question,” he says, “I’m here because I’m the Ambassador to you humans. I didn’t really have a choice.”

“Aw, poor you.”

He rolls his eyes, and then he scopes the crowd. “Speaking of humans…” He bares his fangs.

“Uh, you know if you start munching on someone, I’ll have to drive a stake through your heart,” I tell him.

“Oh, yes, I know. And, I believe you would, too.” He runs a hand through his white hair and adjusts his black dinner jacket. “I hate these sorts of things. People always stare at me, like I’m going to bite them if they’re not looking.”

“I know how you feel. Sort of.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “I see the Prince eyeing you, and I see a very courageous young Lady eyeing me, so I’ll just…” He walks off. The crowd parts to make room for him; no one likes coming in contact with vampires.

I spot Val making his way toward me, and I quickly turn to the table, set my plate down, and rub vigorously at my mouth. I can’t let him see me with my face covered in whatever it was I just ate.

I turn back as he reaches me, and I give him a half-smile. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” he says. He looks me over. “You look beautiful.”

“So do you,” I say. “Uh, I mean, handsome. You look… handsome.”

He smiles broadly. “I’m glad you came.”

“You mean I had a choice?”

“Well, of course. I wasn’t going to force you.”

“Huh.” I remember the bracelet. I start to lift up my dress.

Val’s eyes widen. “Um, Shouter—” He stops when he sees I have trousers on. “Oh.”

I reach into my pocket, take out the bracelet, and let my dress fall back down. “Here.” I hand the bracelet to him. “I made it for you.”

He examines it. Then, he inquires, “What is it?”

“A, uh, bracelet.” I take it from him, slip it over his right hand, and tighten it around his wrist. “Yeah. I mean, you don’t have to wear it if you—”

He grasps my hands and says, “I love it.”

I blush.

The crowd parts again for the Queen, who is looking flustered. She accosts Val. “Valiant, why aren’t you dancing with Maple?”

Val turns to his mother. “I was just talking to—”

“No excuses. Go dance with her. Now.” The Queen looks at me. She gives me a onceover, just as Val had done. “Hm. Where did you get your dress?”

“Dresstopia,” I reply, feeling self-conscious.

She laughs. “Cheap dresses. Such poor quality.” She pauses. “But, it looks good on you, dear.”

I want to punch her, but I’d be executed on the spot. Instead, I bow and say, “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

She turns back to her son. “Dance with Maple, or no birthday present,” she sings. Then, she goes to mingle with the guests.

“I should get dancing,” Val says with a nervous chuckle. “I’ll find you later.”

“Okay,” I say.

He leaves me.

Nolan drifts back over to me with a beautiful young woman hanging on his arm. He laughs, “That was pathetic,” and exits the ballroom.

I’m not alone for long, for Lionel rejoins me. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright.”

“So, do you want to dance?”

“Not really.”

He gives a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I’m a terrible dancer.”

I turn back to the food and pick up my plate.

“What’ve you got there?” he asks.

“Um, some chicken, some more chicken, and some chicken with this awesome sauce.” I offer him the plate.

He takes a chicken leg and starts eating it. “This party is boring.”

“You can say that again.”

The King gets up on the stage on which the orchestra is and has them stop playing. The ballroom quiets so he could speak.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he says, a wineglass in his hand, “it is so good to have so many friends together for this special occasion. Not only is it my only son’s birthday, but it’s his engagement day as well.”

I choke on my chicken.

Lionel slaps me hard on the back a few times until I can breathe again. “Are you alright?” he whispers.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I pick up a wineglass from a passing waiter and gulp it down.

The King brings Val and his horrible date, Maple, up onto the stage, and the people cheer.

I feel sick.

“Are you sure?” Lionel presses.

“My people, I present your future King and Queen!” the King announces.

I make for the door.

Lionel follows me.

I go to the very center of the castle, where the courtyard is. I sit down on a stone bench and cover my face with my hands.

Lionel sits down beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I say.

He laughs. “Everyone knows you like him, Shouter… Well, except him—and you.”

I like Val? What? No, no. I don’t. I can’t…

I uncover my face. “I don’t like Val.”

“Val? You mean, Prince Val.”

“He told me to call him Val.” It hits me. “Oh, my Fates. He likes me, doesn’t he.”

“I thought it was obvious.” He starts laughing at me.

It wasn’t. Not to me, anyway.

Crier runs across the courtyard. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I fiddle with the piece of leather on my wrist. “Why?”

“The Prince saw you leave, and he wanted me to check on you.”

I look away. “You can tell him I’m fine. It was just too crowded in there. I just needed some air.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” I snap.

Crier adjusts his sling, glances at Lionel, and then returns to the party.

“Can I give you some advice?” Lionel says.

I have a feeling he would give me the advice anyway, so I nod.

“Well, now that you know you like him and he likes you, I wouldn’t do anything about it,” he says. “The Queen would have your head on a platter.”

I look down. I don’t want him to see the tears that start falling.

“Hey,” he says, lightly squeezing my shoulder. “I’m sorry. Truly, I am.”

I shake my head and wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. “Okay. It’s fine. I’m fine.” I stand up. “Let’s just go back.”

He stands, too. “We don’t have to.”

I shake my head again, and then I lead the way back to the party. The guests are crowded around the newly-engaged couple.

I sit down at an empty table a corner by the door as the orchestra starts playing again. Lionel sits with me.

“Shouter,” he says.

“What?” I say, getting annoyed.

He gives me this really sad look but says nothing.

That annoys me even more.

We sit there in silence for an hour until people start leaving.

I am staring at Val, who is unhappily with his new fiancée, when Nolan joins me once again. He is alone this time.

“Head Guard,” he says with a nod at Lionel.

“Mr. Bard,” Lionel says, returning the nod.

Nolan leans in close to me; his breath is cold on my cheek. “Are you alright, dearest one?” he whispers.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I say.

“I saw you cry,” he says. His voice is audible only to me; Lionel won’t be able to hear what the vampire is saying.

“Your eyes must’ve been playing a trick on you.”

He snorts. “That’s likely.”

“Well, I’m okay, okay?”

“Okay.” He leans back and nods toward the Prince and Maple. “She’s rather ugly, isn’t she?”

Maple is actually anything but ugly. She has long, curly blonde hair and violet eyes. Her face is heart-shaped, and her body is hourglass-shaped. And, I'm shaped like a rectangle.

“Hideous,” Lionel says.

I know they are just trying to make me feel better. It’s working.

“I wouldn’t marry her for anything in the world,” Nolan says. “I feel bad for the Prince.”

“So do I,” Lion says. “I couldn’t imagine waking up to that every morning.”

“I would never, ever turn her into a vampire; an eternal life with something that disgusting is unthinkable.”

“Guys, stop,” I says. I’m trying so hard not to laugh.

“No way,” Nolan says. “She’s so ugly, I want to stab my eyes out just so I don’t have to look at her.”

“She’s a bad person, too,” Lionel says. “She kills puppies.”

“And then eats them.”

“With a light sauce.”

“Something salty, yet sweet.”

“She eats the brains for dessert.”

“Probably.”

I put my head down on the table and start laughing.

The boys laugh, too.

Nolan’s laughter abruptly stops. “Incoming.”

I lift my head up as Val approaches the table, and I realize that the ballroom is mostly empty now. The three of us stand when he reaches us.

“Something we can do for you, Your Highness?” Lionel asks.

“I’d like to speak to Shouter,” Val says. I’ve never seen his face so serious.

No one moves.

“Alone.”

Lionel is frowning as I walk away with the Prince, and I hear Nolan say, “Poor girl.”

Val and I walk up to his chambers. He locks the door behind us.

“Have a seat,” he says.

I sit down in an armchair. This is the first time I’ve ever actually sat in his sitting room.

He sits down across from me. “We need to talk.”

“Okay.”

“About this engagement.”

“Okay.”

“And, how it effects you.”

I stare at him. I feel pressure behind my eyes again.

“Nolan told me something interesting earlier,” he says.

“What?”

“He said that you…” He clears his throat; his face turns a brighter shade of his bright red hair. “He said you like me. Is that true?”

I don’t get the chance to answer, because there is a boom, and the castle shakes.

“What was that?” Val gets up and runs across the room to his balcony. “Oh. Oh, no.”

I go out to the balcony and look over the garden to the ocean.

Ships. A whole armada of ships. They fly purple flags with black skulls.

“The Fairest King,” I say.

“Oh, Fates.”

Someone bangs on the door Val just locked a minute ago. Lionel yells, “Your Highness!” The banging resumes. “Bloody thing’s unbreakable!”

“Let me,” Crier says. There is a pause, and then he throws his body against the door. “Ow. I think I broke my other wrist.”

“Humans,” Nolan scoffs.

“Oh, let me,” I hear Arthur snap at Lionel.

The lock clicks, and Arthur, Joseph, Lionel, Crier, Maple, and Nolan enter the room.

“Your father just gave me orders to bring you and Lady Maple somewhere safe,” Lionel says.

“And, the Adventurer, the mages, the rich girl, the annoying manservant, and I are to accompany you. Lovely,” Nolan says.

“Annoying?” Joseph bristles.

Lionel turns to the vampire. “No one told you to come.”

“Yeah, well, I’d like to see how this turns out, so I think I’ll stick around for a while.” When Lionel raises an eyebrow, Nolan adds, “I promise I won’t be a hindrance.”

“Fine.”

“Oh, this is all well and fine, but we’ve got to go,” Arthur says. “Unless you’d prefer to get blown apart by the Fairest King and his pirates.”

“Wait, wait,” Val says. “Nina. Is Nina coming?”

“Unfortunately, no. She’s currently disobeying the King’s orders and taking care of the wounded down by the shore.”

“Wait,” I say. I look at Crier. “My sword.”

He pats the sword hanging from his belt. “Got it.”

“Armor.”

He pats his pack. “Packed you a shirt, a tunic, and trousers, too.”

“What about Mom?”

“Do you really think Nina would let anything happen to her?”

“Let’s go.”

We flee the castle and easily slip past the gate.

The streets, however, are flooded with screaming people.

I draw my sword.

“Arthur, Crier, clear a path,” Lionel orders. “The rest of you, stay close to me.”

“Ooh, this is so exciting,” Nolan says, rubbing his hands together. “I haven’t seen turmoil like this in two hundred years. It’s fantastic.”

I scowl at him. He ignores it, grinning.

Arthur and Crier start blasting harmless bits of magic in front of them. The people running in terror, screaming, “The mages are with the Fairest King! We’re all doomed!”

“Just go!” Lionel shouts.

We make our way down the main street with Val and Maple in the center of our procession.

The Grand Gate is open.

“What in the world is going on?” Lionel asks no one in particular. “Why is the damn Gate open?”

Without pausing to figure it out, we leave the kingdom. We aren’t the only ones.

“The stables,” Crier says.

“That might be a problem,” Nolan says. “Animals don’t particularly enjoy my presence.”

“Well, we’ll just—”

“Why is the vampire here?” Arthur asks, obviously irritated.

“I thought I explained this already,” Nolan says.

“Everyone, shut up,” I say. I gesture for Lionel to give his orders.

“We’re going to the stables.” He turns in the direction of the stables. “Never mind. We’re not going to the stables.”

“Why not?” Crier asks.

“Look.”

The stables are on fire. Horses are bolting from the buildings.

“Alright. I have an idea,” I say.

Everyone looks at me.

I look at Crier. “Dad.”

His face goes completely blank. “No way.”

“We don’t really have a choice, Crier.”

“But, Dad is…”

“I know.”

“He’s going to…”

“I know.”

“He won’t…”

“I know.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“What’s wrong with your father?” Val asks.

“Nothing,” I say. “Let’s just get going, alright?”

And, we run for a while until Maple starts complaining that her feet hurt. I’m glad I was practical and had gone to the party in my boots.

We stop in the woods at around eleven that night. I go behind a tree to change clothes.

“Let’s camp here for the night,” Lionel says. “We’ll find a town or something in the morning to get the Prince and the Lady new clothes.”

“You mean, peasant clothing?” Maple asks. She says that as if it were the worst thing imaginable.

This is going to be a long trip.

“Yes, peasant clothes,” I say, “because you can’t run around in the wilderness in a ball gown and those spiky shoes.”

“They’re called high heels.”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes and start clearing pine needles from a Shouter-sized spot next to the tree I just changed behind.

“So, your father…,” Joseph says to me. “Where does he live?”

“North,” Crier replies. “With the elves.”

“Elves.” Nolan’s face falls. “This was fun, but I think I should be leaving now.”

“Thank the Fates,” Arthur mutters.

“What? Why?” I ask Nolan.

“The Elf King and I have been feuding for decades,” he says. “I’ve heard he carries around a wooden sword in case he ever runs into me. I’m as good as dead.”

“The Elf King is one of the nicest guys in the world. What did you do to him?”

“Nothing. It’s what I did to his sister.”

“What?”

Lionel’s jaw drops. “You didn’t.”

Nolan smirks in response.

“What?” I repeat. I don’t understand.

“That’s disgusting,” Val says, scrunching his nose.

“Really, though. It wasn’t,” Nolan chuckles.

Joseph clears his throat. “Must you really speak about such a topic in front of the Lady?”

“What topic?” I demand.

“Nothing,” Val says. He shakes his head and lay back on the bed of pine needles. “They’re just being vulgar.”

That’s when I realize what they are talking about.

“Nolan, the Elf King is going to kill you,” I say.

He gives a laugh that sends chills down my spine. “Finally figured it out. Good for you, Shouter.”

I ignore him and close my eyes.

“Anyway,” Lionel says, “we’re going north to the Elf Kingdom, then. Is that alright with everyone?”

“Well, I suppose I’ve lived a good five hundred and seventy-three years,” Nolan says. “I’m alright with it.”

“Who’s keeping watch first?” I ask.

“I’ll do it,” Lionel says.

“I’m not sitting on the ground, let alone sleeping on it,” Maple says. She is the only one who is still standing.

“Just lie down,” Val says with a sigh.

“What if I get dirt on me? This dress costs more than the Adventurer’s yearly salary.”

My face twitches in annoyance, but I keep my mouth shut.

“Oh, for crying out loud, lie down, you idiotic girl,” Nolan says. “Unless you’d like to try sleeping standing up, then, by all means, do. I’d really like to see that.”

There is complete silence for the longest minute.

I hold my breath, waiting for her reaction.

There is a rustling.

“Finally,” Nolan says.

I open my eyes and look over. Maple is lying stiffly in the grass close to Val. I purse my lips but don’t say anything. At least they aren’t touching.

In the morning, a shout wakes me.

I sit up, looking frantically around.

Most of the others are still asleep. Only Lionel and Val are awake.

“Yeah,” Lionel says, gripping his stomach, “that was a good one.”

Val smiles proudly.

“What are you guys doing?” I ask.

They both look over at me.

“Lionel was teaching me how to defend myself,” Val says. “Just in case.”

I blink at him. “Oh.” I look to Lionel. “Good idea.”

Lionel smiles, too.

I look around again and notice there is someone missing.

“Where’s Nolan?”

“Over here, dearest.” Nolan’s voice comes from behind me.

I twist around and see him standing rigidly in the shade of a tree. “What are you—? Oh, right. Vampire.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “Yes, vampire.” He looks up for a moment, then down at the ground beneath his shoes. “It seems I didn’t take sunlight into consideration when I decided to come with you last night.”

“Here.” Val pulls off his jacket and tosses it to Nolan. “Cover yourself up with that.”

Careful to cover his exposed skin, Nolan drapes the jacket over his head and steps out into the sunlight. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Don’t mention it,” Val says with a small smile.

“So, maybe we should sleep during the day and travel at night,” Lionel suggests.

“That would be a good idea,” Nolan says, “unless you’d like to see me reduced to a smoldering pile of embers.”

The others begin to stir.

“I don’t know. I think that might be interesting to see, Bard,” Arthur says, following up with a yawn. “And, what was it you said last night about not being a hindrance?”

The look Nolan gives Arthur gives me a thrill of genuine fear.

Luckily for Arthur, he doesn’t see it.

“Let’s get going,” Lionel says, breaking the tense silence. “We’ll find a place to get clothing for the Prince and Lady first.”

At the mention of clothing, Maple perks up. Then, she deflates, after realizing what that meant.

It’s midday before we reach the next town, a quaint village called Barterer’s Haven.

Val looks at himself in the mirror of the clothing shop, his lips pursed, his eyebrows up. “I kind of like it.”

I’ve never seen him in anything besides his tailor-made outfits. Seeing him in a normal shirt, a pair of normal trousers, and normal boots is a little odd.

“Well, it’s true what they say,” Nolan says, observing Val’s reflection. The vampire himself has none. “The Prince could make even a burlap sack look good.”

Val looks over his shoulder at Nolan. “They really say that?”

“It’s not a burlap sack,” I say. I’ve been to this village, to this shop. It’s where I usually buy my clothing, and I don’t like Nolan bashing it.

Nolan shrugs, still in his dinner jacket and dress pants.

“Aren’t you going to change?” I ask him.

“I think I look rather dashing in this,” he says, gripping the lapels of his jacket. He arches a perfectly-sculpted eyebrow at me. “Don’t you?”

I shrug.

He flashes his fanged smile.

In the mirror, I see Val narrow his eyes.