Bulletproof Love

Chapter Ten:

Today was the day my baby girl would have her first bath. She has never had a proper bath, I would just wash her with a wet cloth. I couldn't wash her because I had to wait for the umbilical stump to fall off and it finally has! She was going to get her first official bath. I'm so excited.

It's been a month and Jesse had to cancel his plans of coming. He's coming next week, though. So I'm excited for that, but he still doesn't know Cope exists. He apologized thoroughly, and though Vic comforted my heartbreak at hearing that, I could tell he was okay with Jesse not coming. Actually being okay with it is an understatement, he was estatic.

I had just finished serving Vic breakfast and I grabbed my baby, climbing up the stairs to the bedroom. I place her in her crib and I grab the baby bathtub from the closet. I walk into our bathroom and place it in the tub. I turn on the water making sure it was warm, not to cold and not too hot.

Then I walk back into the bedroom. I start grabbing Cope's baby shampoo, her clothes, diaper, baby powder, her bar soap, and her towel with that hood. It was a little lion towel! When it's set up - the shampoo, baby bar soap, and towel in the bathroom and the clothes, diaper, and baby powder in the bedroom on the bed - I start undressing Cope. She was fussing a bit, but I got it done.

I walk into the bathroom with a naked baby and I place her in her tub. She shrieked at feeling the water. "Aww, Cope, it's okay. It's just water," I say, cooing at her. I use my hand to hold her up by the shoulder - not too hard - and the other to drop water on her head. Then begin singing.

"There is no doubt tonight.
I'm falling, I'm falling so,
In love with how you are to me.
For you, I would give anything.
Try and be a man.
I'm falling, I'm falling so,
So far from what I thought was clear.
No there's no turning back from here."

She was whimpering at the water and I realized my baby was not going to like baths. I start singing again to calm her since that's what I do in the shower. I have a feeling my life is going to have me singing a lot more in it.

"Now that we have the world in front of us.
We're never turning back.
How could we ever not believe?
Now that I have the world in front of me.
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
Let this go."

I let her back hit the baby tub as I open the Johnson shampoo and pour a bit into my hand. Then I rub it into her scalp gently. Her whimpering lessened, but I knew she didn't like taking a bath.

"Too many times I fall,
I'm falling, I fall apart.
I'm so concerned with pity things.
They drag me farther down.
Why do we run from things we're scared of?
I see it now, it's all so clear.
No there's no turning back from here."

Then I grab the baby bar soap and rub it all over her tiny body. I used my soap covered hands to clean her toes.

"Now that we have the world in front of us.
We're never turning back.
How could we ever not believe?
Now that I have the world in front of me.
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
Let this go."

When I finish with the soap, I start dropping water onto her, removing the body soap. Then when that's done, I cup water and drop it on her head, but I made sure no shampoo got in her eyes. Johnson says it won't cause tears, but that's all lies.

"What are you scared of?
(And if there's nothing left, at least I'll know whats left of me)
What are you running from?
(No there's no looking back, I'm not running).
What is it that you're afraid of?
Tell me what is it you're running from?"

I was extra careful when washing her nice, soft face. She looked up at me, begging me with her eyes - that look a lot like mine, to be honest - to get her out.

"Now that we have the world in front of us,
We're never turning back.
How could we ever not believe?
Now that I have the world in front of me,
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
I love the thought
What this all could mean
You're the only good thing left in me.
Now that I have the world in front of me,
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
Let this go."

When that's done, I grab her towel and wrap her around it. "See, that wasn't so hard, Cope," I say, picking her up. When I turn, I see Vic had a phone in his hand and he was smirking.

"You didn't!"

"Oh, but I did. I sent it to Mike and my parents." I glare at him and mumble, "Jackass," under my breath. "Vic, can you dump the water out?" He nods. I walk into the room and lay Cope on the bed. I rub baby lotion on her and then I place the diaper under her, but before closing it up, I put the baby powder on her. Then I put on her onesie that were like footie pajamas because I knew she'd be cold.

I walk into the bathroom and comb the little bit of hair she has. When I finish, Vic comes up to us. "Aw, look at my baby girl, all clean," he gushes and she smiles. Vic takes her in his arms. "Kellin, you go eat. I'll play with her for a while." I nod because I haven't eaten. I walk into the kitchen and serve myself breakfast. I had made an omelet full of ham and cheese. Then I stick it in the microwave.

Vic appears with Cope in his arms and he was holding her stuffed bear. "So did she like her bath," Vic asks me, smirking.

"You video-taped the whole thing. You should know!" He just laughs at me. When the microwave goes off, I take out the omelet and grab a fork from the drawer. When take my first forkful, I speak, "You know, Vic? I want you to sing me for again." He freezes.

"What do you mean 'again'?"

"Exactly what it means. You sang for me a month ago, and I haven't heard you sing since then."

"What? When? How did the song go?" I sigh, but I remembered every word. It was beautiful. Too beautiful to forget it.

"Ok. It went like this.
Waking up your neighbors downstairs,
I've been inside your bedroom a thousand years.
And as you tie me to the bed for good, I say,
That I want you in the most unromantic way.

Louisiana, you're torturing me with a beautiful face.
Ana, come on, I thought we had a damn good thing,
A penny in the couch and a diamond ring.

Stay - and there's where I fell asleep." I say, frowning. He looks embarrassed. "Oh, I thought you were asleep the whole time I sang that to you," he says.

"So when are you going to sing for me again?"

"Never." I pout, "But why?"

"Because."

"Meanie," I say, and eat another forkful. Huh, it was actually pretty good. My cooking has gotten better. "Hey, Vic, how was breakfast?"

"Delicious, as always." I smile and blush at that. Ever since a month ago, Vic has made it his mission to make me blush because he learned I blush easily. It's been terrible. But he's been nicer, gentler. If he ever raises his voice, it hasn't been at me. And he's stopped all those... sexual wishes. The most he does is peck my cheek or forehead and just hug me, digging his face into my neck. But he hasn't gone further than that which I'm grateful for.

Throughout the month, Tony and I have gotten closer and I Skyped with Jesse so they could meet. Vic was still very jealous over that fact, but he put up with it. Jaime and I talked more and he's a hilarious guy. But when it came to Cope, he was just as embarrassing as Mike. Jesse hasn't met him yet, I want them to, though. I want Jesse to meet all my friends here. Speaking of friends, Jack was fine. Jesse even let him stay permantely.

I talked to Austin and Alan, Alan was a really sweet guy, kind of dorky, but he and Austin looked so happy together. I was seriously happy they had each other. Vic might let them visit also. I talked to Austin on the phone or we Skyped.

But when it came to Vic's job. I didn't ask questions and he never did his business here, so I was okay with it. As long as he didn't bring that life style in front of Cope, I was fine with it. As long as I didn't see any of it happen or hear it, I would tolerate it. I could forget the fact that Vic was a gang leader as long as he didn't do any of his gang stuff around me. But he was going to a drug dealing thing tomorrow, so yeah, wasn't estatic for that.

He says he doesn't do the drugs, like Jesse doesn't, they just interact with them. And so far, I have no choice but to believe him, he hasn't proven me otherwise. I also got introduced to the gang, so they all know me as Vic's partner. Which is kind of awkward because some of them ask me, "How's the sex?" I blush uncontrollably, and Vic glares at them until they walk away. Who asks that? Like seriously! Yeah, not fun. But life here isn't terrible. I like it. It sure is better than my life was in Michigan.

"Are we doing anything today," I ask. He thinks about it. "Do we or Cope need anything?" It was my turn to think. We had plenty of food, "Oh, Cope needs more diapers and wipes," I say. He nods, "We'll go get those, then. Except this time, you're not leaving my side," he says, referring to what happened last time we went to a store and he left me alone. "Ok."

We start walking to the garage and he picks a random car. I place Cope in her carseat, covering her with a blanket. I place the pañalera in the seat beside her. Then I climb into the passenger seat, putting on my seatbelt. Vic gets into the driver'a seat, turning on the car. Vic frives out of HQ and he goes on the familiar road to Wal*Mart.

I was kind if hesitant to go back in there. What happened last times was haunting me. What if it happens again and I don't get away this time? No, Kellin, no bad thoughts. Nothing good ever comes from you getting lost in your thoughts. I turn back to look at Cope, my baby was one month old now.

For a whole month, I raised her with Vic. Vic spoiled her rotten, he bought her so many toys, clothes, shoes, accessories. He was so gentle and sweet with her, it showed me there was some good in Vic. Everytime she cried at night, we'd both wake up, but he would let me sleep in while he took care of her. Like a few nights ago, we had woken up to crying.

I sat up in bed and was about to slide out of it, but Vic wrapped an arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, "Go to sleep, I'll check on her." I was still half asleep, but I managed to put together a sentence.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine." And he pushed me back into the bed, getting out of bed. I nodded slightly and I went back to sleep. It was nice of him to do that and he's been doing that for a while now too. Not that I'm complaining because I am greatful for that. Just why?

When we pull up the Wal*Mart, Vic goes around back and grabs Cope.  We walk into the store together. I subconciously grab his hand in mine, immediately feeling safer. He smiles a bit at our intertwined hands before turning to face me. "It's okay, Kellin. Remember, this time I'm not leaving your side." I nod at him.

We reach the baby isle and I grab a packet of diapers, placing them in the cart. "Should we take two packs or just one," I ask Vic. He contemplates it. "I think two since we're going to be bathing her now, plus changing her diaper." I nod and grab another one placing it in the cart as well.

After a while of shopping for baby things, Vic hands her to me and his body grew tense. I place a hand on his shoulder, "Vic, what's wrong," I ask him, walking to stand in front of him. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer to him. "Woah," I gasp at the fast movement. I look at his face and see he was staring over me and glaring. I try to turn around to look at who he saw, but he wouldn't loosen his grip.

It didn't hurt, it was just a strong grip. "Kellin, grab the cart and go to the next isle," and I stare at him in confusion, but do as he says. I hear him following behind me. When we're in the middle of the isle, I turn around and look at Vic. "What happened?" He was glaring at the ground before shifting his gaze to look at me.

"Nothing," he grumbles.

"Vic, I know you saw something or someone."

"It was nothing. Let's just go home," he says, and starts pushing the cart to the check out. But I stayed in place, I wanted to know what happened, and I want to know now. "No, Vic. Not until you tell me what happened," I say, standing my ground. I see Vic stop, his back and shoulders tensing up. He turns around and walks over to me. He stared me down and I felt afraid for the first fime in forever. I was afraid of Vic.

"Who do you think you are to defy me," he snaps and I wince at his tone. He grabs my wrist and I whimper in his grip. It was tight, I practically felt the bruise forming. "Vic, you're hurting me," I tell him, panicking. His grip didn't lessen, he just started pushing the cart with one hand. He was walking hastily and his grip tightened every now and again whenever someone appeared out of nowhere.

"Vic, please, you're hurting me," I tell him. But he didn't listen. Cope was oblivious to everything happening, but I bet she could sense my discomfort. She was getting restless. "Shh, it's okay, baby," I murmur to her. I feel Vic's grip tighten and he didn't loosen it even at the check out, not when he paid, not when we walked to the car, and not even when he put away the diapers in the trunk.

He only let me go so I could place Cope in her car seat. I was trembling as I got into the passenger seat. My hands were shaking as I put on my seat belt and if Vic noticed, he didn't say anything. I'm scared to what will happen when we get home. I sat trembling in my seat, trying to stop it.

I feel myself start shaking worse when HQ is within my eye range. When we enter, I look at him and he had a nuetral expression on his face. I face the front again and he enters the garage. He parks the car, and turns to look at me. "Grab Cope, I'll take the diapers." I nod at him and do as he says.

When we walk to the house, the shaking came back. It stopped when I picked up Cope. I tried to make it as subtle as I could. Cope was sleeping so she didn't notice, I don't know if Vic has, though. I walk upstairs and place her in her crib, I hear Vic putting away the diapers. When I'm done, I look at my wrist and sigh. There in fact a bruise forming, but it's bad one.

I wrap my hand around it and wince, yeah, it was a bad one. I walk into the bathroom and get out wrap to put pressure on it. I won't bother putting ice on it, just cover it up. Maybe if it hurts too much, I might put ice. I turn around and bump into Vic's chest. "Sorry," I mumble. He doesn't reply. I try walking around him, but he pulls me back. That activates my fear, what is he going to do?

I look at his face, but he had no expression. I try to escape his grip, but it just tightens, not enough to hurt me, but enough to make sure I can't get away. He leads me back into the bedroom and pulls me to the bed. Is he going to rape me?! "Kellin, I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not about to rape you," he says, speaking for the first time in ever. My posture relaxes. He sits me on the bed.

"I was going to tell you Aussie is coming."

"Who's Aussie?"

"Oh, right. You call everyone by name. Austin." And I break into a grin. "Really?"

"Yes." I was all giggly inside. Sure, it wasn't Jesse, but Austin was a close second. "When?" He checks the time, "A few minutes." I squeal. I jump up from the bed and run to the stairs. I skid a bit, but then I run down the stairs. I run out the front door and I see Austin walking up the sidewalk. "Austin!" He turns to look at me and smiles. "Kellin!" I run to him and hug him close.

He hugs back and we just stayed in our embrace until someone clears their throat. I look at said person and see he was Alan. I remembered from the picture Austin showed me. He didn't look jealous, so I guess the hug didn't bother him. Wish Vic were like that. "You're Alan!" I say. "Yeah, I'm guessing Austin showed you the picture of us that he has in his wallet." I nod. That and the fact we skyped.

"He was right, though. You are even more adorable in person," he squeals, pinching my cheeks. I blush a bit at the compliment. "I can't believe Vic let us visit you," Austin says. "I didn't know until just now," I tell them. "How are you and Vic now?" The question catches me off guard because how were Vic and I.

"I like to think we're friends. I mean, we've gotten a long better now and he hasn't tried to rape me. Plus, we have a daughter together - "

"You - what?" Austin asks, incredious. I laugh realizing how that must sound. "Oh, she's not ours biologically. But I found her just as her mother died and we took her in. Named her Copeland, Cope for short, and she's one month old now."

"Is she cute," Alan asks, bouncing in place.

"The cutest little thing you'll ever meet," I hear Vic say from behind me. I whirl around to face Vic. Just to see him standing right behind me. "How long have you been there," I ask. "Long enough. Now come on, let's go inside," he says, walking back to the house, everyone following him.

When we get back to the house, Alan whistles. "I have never been to Vic's house before, but I wish I had. This house is gorgeous," he says, looking around. "Why haven't you been here before," I ask him, noticing Vic and Austin exiting the room to another.

"Austin didn't want me to get involved with his gang business because he doesn't want me to be put in any kind of danger, but I begged him to let me meet you, so here I am."

"Oh. Makes sense. From what I could tell when he talked about you, he's really in love with you." Alan lets out a laugh. "Well, that's a relief because I really love him too."

"I'm happy for you guys. I can see you guys have genuine feelings for each other and it's really a beautiful thing."

"Thank you, Kellin. Austin saved me, you know?"

"How?"

"I was about to get killed. My father was holding a gun to my head in an alley, but Austin showed up and knocked my dad out. I've been with him ever since, and a year later, we were together."

"Why did your dad do that?"

"I'm not sure, I think it had to do with mom leaving him. He blamed me because he thinks I chased her away. And a few years later, my dad found me. Austin didn't kill him the night we met because I begged him not to, that man was still my father. We let him live and Austin invited me back to his gang where I have been evr since.

Now, my dad got help and he got over it, but Austin never lets me visit him." That's intense, but does everybody here have a sob story?

"Does it bother you?"

"Not really. He abused me most of my life and almost killed me. Besides, I owe Austin for saving me, and if this is his charge, I'll go through with it." And I find that admirable, choosing love over family. It shows how much he believes in Austin's love.

"Hey, Alan, why does everybody here have such a sad becoming?"

"Because they need an escape, and when you have no money or family, your best bet is joining a gang." I guess that made sense. "So, what's your story, Kellin?" And I explain it to him, summed up, like he did me. He lets out a low whistle, "Wow, that's crazy. I'm just lucky my dad never raped me." I nod at him.

"Yeah, same, except it's my uncle. But I'm still a virgin."

"You're a virgin?" I nod, just to see him smirk. "Ooh, Kellin. Vic hasn't popped your cherry?" I blush, shaking my head. "Has he tried?" This question wasn't asked jokingly, he was being serious. I nod. "Oh. Austin was the same. He never did rape me because when he took my virginity, I was willing, but he did try." I urge him to continue.

"When I went with him, it wasn't free will. He told me he'll spare my father if I went with him. So I did and I hated it. He had all these stupid ground rules, he acted like he owned me, and he wasn't always sexual, but he would hold me close, sniff me, sometimes he roll my sleeve down and kiss my shoulder. Back then, I felt like vomitting, but now I love it."

"Vic's done all that! But what made you change your view on Austin?"

"Funny story, actually. I was on a walk, it was around the time where I didn't hate him as much as I used to. I'd say we were aquaitances. Anyway, it was around the time he'd let me walk around the gang place thing. But some of the members were paid by my dad to kill me, too bad they had other plans." I was scared to find out what those plans were.

"They had tortured me - whipping, burning, kicking, all that. And one of them was about to rape me, but Austin came and killed them all. I wasn't too happy at that. I kind of yelled at him, telling him I would rather have gotten raped than living another day with a murderer. I was shaking in fear, bruised and burned. I thought he was going to hit me, but instead, he just carried me back to the house.

He showed me his gentle side, he cleaned me up, bandaged me, made me sleep, cooked, sang. And on one of the days where I would have nightmares and start crying, he ran into my room and told me a cheesy pick up line. It was so stupid it made me laugh. How'd it go," he asks himself, trailing off. He looked deep in thought, but then a voice cuts through the silence.

"How much does the polar bear weigh?" We both turn to look at Austin, standing at the doorway. Alan smiles, "That's the one. He asked me that, and I looked at him like he was an idiot, which he is. But anyway, he told me..."

"Enough to break the ice," Austin fills in.

"Yeah, and I tried to keep a straight face, but failed. And that night, I kissed him. And that's how our relationship blossomed."

"Awwww. That's so cute. But, Alan, you call that a funny story?!" I ask him.

"It's funny to me."

"It wasn't to me," Austin says, wrapping his arms around his husband. Vic appears a bit later. "Well, Austin and I have this meeting to go to. Watch Cope, I'll be back in a few hours. Bye, Kellin. Alan."

"Bye," I mumble. Then they both walk out. "Come on, Alan. Let's go check on Cope," I tell him, walking upstairs. He runs up the stairs, passing me. Then he waits, bouncing in his steps. "Why are you so excited," I ask him when I reach the top of the stairs.

"Because I get to meet the baby!"

I walk to our bedroom door and let Alan in. He walks in, calmly, for once, and walks towards the crib. When he sees her, he lets out a small, "Aw." I smile. "She's cute, isn't she," I ask him.

"More like adorable. How old is she?"

"About a month."

"How'd you get her?"

"Oh, um, I found her mom as she was about to die. Then I ran back here." That topic was always strange, but she'll have to know when she's older, and I'll have to be the one to tell her because I'm the one who found her. But she'll know when she's older. I'm not going to keep something as big as that from her.

"That's tough. Did you get her mother's name?"

"Her name was Katelynne. She was gorgeous, to be honest. I wonder why she was out in the woods, especially in her condition. Plus, not to be racist, but she was white. And I'm wondering why she was in Mexico, you know?"

"I get it. You're curious. It's kind of picking at my interest, as well."

"Yeah. But I plan on telling Cope when she's old enough to understand, you know? I don't want to keep something this big from her. I feel like she has the right to know how she came to be with us."

"That's good. She does have the right to know. I'm sure she'll appreciate it when you tell her the truth." We spent the rest of the day with Cope. Alan had asked if he could carry her after our conversation, and I agreed. He was currently talking to her. But she just stared at him. I let out a silent chuckle.

He adjusts her in his arms before looking back at me. "I want one of my own, you know?"

"What?"

"A child. I want one with Austin."

"Does he know?"

Alan shakes his head, "God, no."

"Well, why not?"

"Because what if he doesn't want kids? And if he does, what if he doesn't want to get one because he doesn't want it to be in any kind of danger? That's what he's like with me," he finishes, bursting into hysterics.

"Alan, calm down," I tell him, gently. "I'm sure Austin would a kid with you, but you should tell him."

"No."

"Yes. You won't ever get the kid you want if you don't tell him." He stayed silent at that. He kept bouncing Cope and we stayed in silence.

He broke it, though, "I guess you're right. I'll tell him, but not now. I'll tell him when we're back at OM&M."

"When are you guys leaving?"

"A week."

"Yes! That way I won't be so lonely." Alan laughs a little. "Hey, you hungry?"

"Kind of. Why?"

"Because I am too. Come on, I'll go cook something." Then we start walking down the stairs. He still had Cope, and while I cooked, I'd make Alan feed her. I made the bottle and handed it to Alan. He brought it to her mouth, and she started drinking.

I walk back into the kitchen - washing my hands when I enter - and look into the fridge for something to make. Looking all over the kitchen, I notice I have all the ingredients to make molé. Guess I'll be making Mexican dishes again. In the month I was here, I learned how to make Hispanic dishes. I think Vic loved it more than my other dishes because he always got most excited with them. He always asked for seconds.

I take out everything that I would need. When I start cooking the chicken after finishing with sauce, I start making the rice. I learned that plain white rice was great with molé and also cheese. They call it queso fresco. It's better than American cheese, that's for sure.

When they're both ready, I serve them. Then I get the cheese out and cut a piece of it for each plate. Then I crumble it up over the food. I grab the plates and set them in front of us. Then I grab the forks and hand one to Alan. "Here, I'll go put Cope in her space-saver," I say and he hands me Cope. I walk into the living room and put her in the space saver.

She was still drinking her milk, so I place a blanket to keep the bottle up. When I walk back into the kitchen, Alan had already started eating. "Dude, this is delicious! WHAT IS IT?!"

"It's molé. A Mexican dish."

"It's the best thing I've ever had," he says, seriously and I burst out laughing.

"Thanks, I guess." Then I take my seat and start eating. Not bad, Kellin. Not bad at all. "I want more," Alan says, when he's done with his. I had just finished mine, so I got up and served him some. When I finish heating it up, I set it in front of him. He immediately starts attacking it. "Alan, slow down," I say, cautiously.

This time when he's done, he's full. I take his plate and set it in the sink where mine was also. Then we both walk back into the living room to see Cope had finished her bottle and she was sleeping. I remove the bottle from her lips and she started sucking on air before going back to sleep. I hear Alan let out a small, "Aw," when she does it.

Making sure she stays asleep, I go sit on the couch. We talked about Alan's wedding, what it was like, who showed up, where they got married, where they went on their honeymoon. "Alan?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you lose your virginity before or after your wedding?"

"After. I felt like I wasn't ready before, but when it came to the wedding night, Austin said we didn't have to if I didn't want to. But I did, and I knew I was ready. So that's when Austin took my virginity."

"Awww. That's so romantic!"

"Yeah, yeah. What about you? What's the most romantic thing that has happened to you?"

"Um, nothing really. My first kiss was a parting. Then every other kissed I've had have been with Vic. But he's taken them, I've never wanted them."

"That sucks. Who was your first kiss?"

"Jesse. Or maybe you know him as JLaw."

"Yeah, Austin told me all of your story." After that, we just sat in silence, Alan cooed over the sleeping baby, and I watched him. I knew that he'd be a good parent. I was about to tell him so, but then the door bell rang. I looked at Alan, confused.

I knew it wasn't Vic because Vic lives here, he has a key. And it wasn't Austin because Austin was with Vic. I was kind of scared, but then again, it could have been Mike and Tony or even Jaime. Maybe Vic's parents finally came to visit me.

I get up from the couch, cautiously. When I reach the front door, I grab the knob and turn it slowly. When the door is open fully, the person standing there was not who I expected.

"Jesse?"

"Kellin!" It was really him, I run into his arms. He immediately wraps his arms around me and holds me close. "I've missed you, Jesse," I say into his neck. I feel his body shaking and I know he's chuckling. When I pull back, I see he has tears in his eyes, but then he pulls me closer again.

"I've missed you more, Kellin."

"Come, we should get inside," I say, pulling away from him. Holding his hand, leading him inside. If Vic were here, he'd probably kill Jesse. When we're inside, I stop Jesse from walking any further. "Wait here, I'm going to go get your surprise, close your eyes," I tell him before walking into the living room.

I grab the sleeping baby gently, and making a shushing sign to Alan. He nods and follows me out. When I'm in front of him, I speak, "Hold out your hands." He does and I adjust them how they should be. I place Cope in his arms and tell him, "Open your eyes."

He does and gasps at what he sees. Cope had woken up at being moved around too much, but she wasn't crying, she was just staring at Jesse with her big eyes. "Kellin, who's is she?"

"Mine. Well, mine and Vic's."

"What? How? I thought you hated Vic."

"She's not ours, biologically. I found her as her mom died during child birth. And I don't hate Vic, per say, I just don't love him as he wants me to. But we're friends now."

"Oh. I thought you guys were having sex." I sputter out and blush.

"Jesse," I hiss. "There is a baby present. And you know how awkward I am when it comes to those topics."

"Yeah, I know. Which is why it surprised me." I roll my eyes and shake my head at him. "What's her name?"

"Copeland."

"Last name?"

"Um, we haven't really discussed that. But I guess Fuentes," I say, shrugging. He smirks a bit and I give him a confused look. He just shakes his head. "Anyway, who's that," he asks, pointing to the red-head behind me.

"That's Alan, Austin's husband."

"Oh. Who's Austin?"

"Aussie."

"Oh! I'm Jesse."

"Nice to meet you. Kellin talks a lot about you."

"Yeah, well, I talk a lot about him."

"He has this gift of bringing people together."

"Tell me about it. He brought Gabe and Jack together, two of my gang members. I had them beat up Jack badly, Kellin here nursed him, but since he had to go with Vic, Gabe has been nursing him. As far as I know, they finally started dating."

"OMG! Are you serious?! Why didn't Jack tell me?" I squeal. That's so cute. Even if Jack was beat up by Gabe... well... yeah... Still cute. "Maybe because he knew you'd react this way." I pout at Jesse, "Meanie."

"Ugh, Kellin, stop with all this adorableness," Alan complains, shielding his eyes. I glare at them. "Oh, Kellin, please, you're about as ferocious as a puppy. Better yet, your baby." I sulk.

"Give me my baby, Jesse. You're both jerks." I say, taking my baby from him. I hear him complaining, but I ignore him. It's what he gets for being a jerk.

"You're the only one who's nice to me, right, Cope?" She just stares at me, then she blinks.

"I'm taking that as a yes, just letting you know." Nothing. I boop her nose and she finally smiles. I laugh, "There's the smile I've been looking for," I tell her in a baby voice. I carry her upstairs, knowing Alan and Jesse were following. "See, Cope, they just couldn't stay away."

"Psh, Kellin, you wish," Jesse calls back.

"I'm only in for the baby," Alan says. I pout. "They're all jerks. Nobody loves me but you, Cope," I tell her.

"Not true. Vic also loves you," Jesse says, and I can basically hear the smirk in his voice. I start blushing, he was right. But I wouldn't acknowledge that love. "Shut up, Jesse." He just laughs and I hear Alan chiming in as well. Jerks. I don't need them in my life. I reach my bedroom and slam the door shut.

"Aw, come on, Kellin, don't be like that. You know we're just joking," Jesse says, from the other side of the door. Idiot, the door isn't even locked. I ignore them as they tell me they're sorry. I have already forgiven them, I just like seeing them make fools of themselves. They kept knocking, not realizing the door wasn't locked. "You idiots, the door was never locked."

I don't hear anything, but when they enter, I see they both had embarrassed expressions on their faces. "So, are we forgiven," Alan asks.

"You have been since the beginning."

"Then why didn't you tell us the door was open?"

"Because it was funny to see you make fools of yourselves. That's why, Jesse." He glares and I smile innocently. He rolls his eyes, but takes a seat next to me. Alan comes and sits on the other side of me. "Hey, Kellin, sing me a song," Jesse asks.

"Which?"

"Any song." I nod and place Cope in her crib before grabbing my journal. I flip through the pages until I find one I like. I take my seat beside him and sigh before singing.

"I lost my heart.
My home is the ocean.
The waves underneath will soon be my home.
I will fall asleep.
(Fall asleep).
I'll close my eyes and dream of days when I wasn't all alone.

All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me now).
All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me).
Fall deeper and deeper.
The sirens are singing your song.
(The sirens are singing your song).

I'll miss my breath.
There's no more left.
Don't miss the sound of the wind up my back.
The depths have a number,
They call you by name.
Fall asleep,
Davy Jones calls you.
So fall asleep, fall asleep and dream.

All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me now).
All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me).
Fall deeper and deeper.
The sirens are singing your song.
(The sirens are singing your song).

All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me now).
All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me).
Fall deeper and deeper.
The sirens are singing your song.
(The sirens are singing your song)."

"Nice, what's the name of that one," Jesse asks me.

"Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm."

"Wow, Kellin, you have a wonderful voice," Alan praises. I blush and smile, "Thanks." We spent the next few hours just talking and when it was around nine, I asked Jesse if he was hungry. "Did you cook it or buy it?"

"I made it," I answer.

"Then, yes."

"Ok. But it's a Mexican dish."

"It's fine."

"Ok, let's go. I just have to heat it up," I say, getting up and grabbing Cope. "Hey, Alan, can you change Cope's diaper while I go serve Jesse food," I ask after noticing how heavy her diaper felt. "Yeah, I'll do it."

"Great. Thank you. Her diapers are in that drawer and the wipes are in the drawer under it," I tell him pointing to the drawers. I hand him Cope and head downstairs with Jesse. We walk into the kitchen and serve the food on a plate before placing it in the microwave.

When it's done heating up, I put the cheese on top of it and serve it to Jesse. He takes a forkful and he moans. "Ugh, Kellin, I have missed your cooking. Vic is lucky he has you."

"Thanks," I say, blushing. But speaking of Vic, where is he? He's usually home around this time after having a gang meeting thing. He's never been out later than 8:30 and if he is, he usually tells Mike to tell me or text me. But thinking about it, he's probably on his way back.

"Who taught how to make this," Jesse asks me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Vic."

"Oh. What's it called?"

"Molé."

"Kellin, you okay? You seem... distant."

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Just worried about Vic, is all," I say, shrugging like it's no big deal.

"Why," he asks, and he wasn't mad, just curious.

"I don't know. It's just, everytime he has some kind of gang thing going on, he usually comes home around 8:30 and it's already nine and he hasn't called or texted or even sent Mike over to tell me he'll be staying late."

"I'm sure whatever he's doing, he's probably trying to find a way to communicate with you. He's probably just as worried about you and Cope as you are him. Maybe more than you. We all know that Vic has tight grip over you." I nod and he hugs me close, but even in his comfortable and welcoming arms, I didn't feel safe as I did in Vic's arms.

"Jesse, you need to finish eating," I say, pulling back a bit. He smiles, "I did," and when I look at his plate, I see there was no food on it. I dig my head into his shoulder and sigh. I just want Vic to come home. A few minutes later, Alan comes descending down the stairs with Copeland in his arms. "Hey, just finished cleaning Cope. She had more than pee, turns out," and I laugh.

But just as I was about to take her, I hear someone burst through the front doors. We all look at each other, confused before running to the hall. There, I could never have imagined that I'd see this. There stood Mike, Tony, Jaime, and Austin holding Vic who was bleeding from his shoulder, rapidly. Looking at the others, I see they were all beaten and bruised up.

Austin had a few scratches on his face, but his skin was bruised all up his arms. Alan runs to his aid quickly, asking if he was okay. Mike was bleeding a bit from his head and arms, but seemed fine other than that. But he was sporting a bruise on his cheek and arm. Jaime was probably the worst beaten, he looked like was about to faint and he was nothing but bruises. Tony was fine so I'm guessing he didn't go with them. Like Mike would let him.

And Vic, Vic was bruised up. He had a long cut running down his right arm and he looked to be sporting bruises as well. He was bleeding a bit from his head, but nothing major. What was eating at me was the blood-gushing wound that he has in his shoulder. It kept oozing blood, his white shirt getting stained red as time went by. And I had a guess as to what happened, but I hope I'm wrong.

"What happened," I ask, frantically. But they ignored me. Mike has called the gang doctor and he was on his way, telling me they couldn't go to a real doctor because they're wanted criminals and that. I honestly didn't care. I just wanted to know why they were all bruised up and why Vic was bleeding. They all take Vic upstairs and I follow with Jesse following me.

When I walk into the room, they had ripped Vic's shirt off and I looked at the wound. It was a hole and I feel like my suspicions aren't too far off at to what happened. I clutch my heart a bit. "Put pressure on it to make the bleeding stop," Mike yells and when I turn to look at him, he was on the phone and yelling out commands at to what to do. I'm guessing he's on the phone with the doctor.

Jaime quickly did as Mike said and he had used Vic's stained shirt and placed it over the wound. Vic groaned and jumped at the contact. But Jaime had it pressed against the wound, not letting up. Vic was a screaming mess and I saw Alan hand Cope to Jesse. "Get her out of here," I tell him and he nods, walking out of the room. But I couldn't move, I stood frozen in place as I watched the scene in front of me.

I still don't know what happened, and no one seemed to notice me. But finally I asked again and Austin walked up to me. He looked like he didn't want to be the one to tell me. He didn't speak for a while and I took the time to look at Vic. Seeing all those bruises reminded me of what happened to me with my uncle. How he had abused me and I would sport as many bruises as Jaime, maybe more.

I walk closer to the bed, but Austin holds me back and he finally tells me what happened. I feel the air leave my lungs and I feel my heart constrict. I knew something was wrong. I would never have imagined this would happen to Vic. At least not with me around. I feel like crying as Austin told me what happened, and I'm pretty sure I did: "Vic got shot."