Bulletproof Love

"Austin," I begin, "what are you doing here?"

"It's Alan, I don't know where else to look. He's gone." I was about to respond when I see Alan coming up behind Austin and I immediately pull Austin into a hug, making sure to pull his head down.

"Oh, Austin. It's okay. I'm sure he'll come around," then I begin moving my hands in a go away motion towards Alan. "Go away," I mouth. He nods and pulls the boys with him. I sigh in relief.

"Why don't you come in," I say, pulling back. He nods and walks inside to the living room. "You wait here, I'll be right back."

And when I'm out of his view, I sprint to the room. "Vic," I whisper when I walk inside. "Kellin," then I shush him when he speaks way too loudly for my liking. "Who was it," he whispers.

"Austin."

"Here for Alan?" I nod.

"Don't tell him Alan is here. I'm going to go look for him. You keep him company. Come up with an excuse as to where I am." He groans, but my mind was already set. I kiss his cheek and walk out the door and go out the back door.

"Alan," I whisper-yell. Nothing. "Alan?"

"Kellin," I hear someone whisper back.

"Alan," I say and begin to walk to where I heard his voice. Then he appears. "What do we do," he asks, frantically.

"I don't know," I whisper back just as frantically.

"How did he find me?"

"He didn't. He just needs a shoulder to cry on. But he doesn't know you're here."

"Ok. Now where will I hide?"

"I know a place outside of HQ. I'll ask Tony for the keys."

"Ok. Thank you so much."

"No problem, Alan. What are friends for?" He smiles and hugs me. I hug him back. And we stayed hugging until we heard someone clear their throat. We pull back and see the boys crossing their arms.

"Who are you guys talking about?" Liam.

"My husband," Alan.

"Boys, go inside. And if Austin asked, Alan was never here. If Vic asks, I went to Jaime's place for more eggs. You don't know Jaime, but Vic does. He should know I'm helping Alan. Ok?"

They nod and I smile at them before beginning to pull Alan to Tony's house. I knock frantically at the door and Mike opens up. "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike," I say, hurridley. "Is Tony here?"

"Yeah, he's right - " I didn't let him finish because I'm pulling Alan inside and we find Tony cooking in the kitchen. "Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony," I say hurridley again. "I need the keys to the house outside of HQ?"

"Ok. Come with me," he says, washing his hands and drying them before leading us upstairs. He walks us into his bedroom and pulls out a key from a drawer. "Here, but can I ask why?" But I didn't answer.

"Great. Thank you," I say as I take the key and run out the door with Alan. I pull Alan to the fence and stop. "Can you climb?"

"Who can't?" And he proves his point by beginning to climb the fence and I smile before following his example. We jump down and begin running again until I see the cabin.

I open the door and let Alan in. "Okay. You'll be staying here until Austin leaves or until you want to talk to him. I'll bring your clothes around here."

He nods, "Alright. See you later."

"Bye, Alan," then I hug him before walking out the door back to HQ. I climb the fence and walk back home.

~~~

Vic

It was so awkward as we waited for Kellin to return. The boys had already told us that Kellin had gone to get eggs even though we have two dozen eggs. The boys had gone upstairs to hang out. Which they should since I had out a tv in their room.

"Who are those boys?"

"Oh. Their names are Liam - the eldest - and Rowan. Kellin found them outside of HQ and he told me to bring them in."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Then it was awkward silence again.

"You know you're not as welcoming as Kellin," Austin tells me. I have to laugh.  "Yeah, I know."

"You're too intimidating. Kellin is your total opposite."

"Yeah, I know. I get reminded of that everytime I see him being gentle with everybody."

He nods and it was an awkward silence again. Jesus, when is Kellin getting home? And then as if Jesus had heard my prayers, Kellin walked in. "Hey, guys," he says, sporting one of the most faked smiles I've ever seen.

"Hey, Kellin. Where are the eggs?"

"Oh, uh, um, he didn't have any. Yeah, he didn't have any." He finishes it with another fake smile and a fake laugh. Oh, Kellin. Well, better go save him. I walk over to him and place a kiss on his cheek. "How about you go check if the boys are hungry?"

"Oh. You're right. I'll be right back. Vic, can you go check on Cope?"

I nod. "Hey, Austin, come meet the boys officially," Kellin says, taking Austin's hand and going upstairs.

~~~

Kellin

"Boys," I call as I open their bedroom door. When I enter, I see them watching tv. I think it was Law and Order or something like that. "What," they ask.

"Are you hungry?"

"Uh, not really. Maybe a small snack," Rowan asks, timidly. I smile, encouragingly. "Of course. I'll bake some cookies. Is that fine?"

"Yeah, that's great," Liam says.

"Ok. I'll bring them up when they're done. By the way, this is my friend, Austin. He's looking for his husband, Alan, who is also my friend. Austin, say hi."

"Hey, guys."

"Hi," Liam.

"You're really tall," Rowan. I slap my hand against my forehead, but Austin just laughs at Rowan's observation. "Yeah, I know. I'm like six feet tall."

"You're like a giant compared to Kellin." And I laugh at that because it's true. I smile at Austin and wave at the boys. "Alright, cookies, coming up." Then I walk out of the room.

I walk down the stairs and I see Vic holding Cope on his hip, a pacifier in her tiny mouth. "Hey. I just changed her diaper."

"Thanks," I say. "I'm about to make cookies for the boys."

"I'll help. Austin, watch Cope for me," Vic asks, not really letting Austin answer because he hands him Cope who Austin takes happily. "Hi, Cope," he says in a baby voice.

I smile and walk into the kitchen. When I don't hear Austin talking anymore, I turn to Vic, "Later tonight, I'm going to take Alan his stuff, hopefully Austin doesn't notice."

"I'll go with you," he says and I bite my lip before nodding. "Alright, now let's begin on the cookies." And I take out the flour, eggs, milk, chocolate chips and everything else I'll need to bake the cookies.

Vic had helped me by mixing while I turned on the oven and got the pan for said cookies. He helped me mold them into shape and putting them on the pan.

We let them cook until the timer went off and I pull them out after I put on an oven mit. I place them on a plate and I begin walking upstairs. I knock on the door before entering their room.

"The cookies are done, I hope you like chocolate chip. Careful, though, they're hot. Please don't make a mess. Milk is downstairs. Just call me if you need anything. I'll be with Cope, Vic, and Austin in the living room."

"Okay, Kellin. Thanks, by the way, for the cookies." I smile warmly.

"It's no problem. Don't be afraid to ask for anything. Vic will also give you what you want. Feel free to raid the kitchen. It's no big deal. Just don't go crazy."

They nod and smile at me and I close the door. I walk downstairs and into the living room where Vic and Austin were playing with Cope.

I take my seat beside Vic. I ask for Cope and he hands her to me. "Hi, baby," I coo and she smiles. "I love you, baby girl," I say.

~~~

I was currently in Alan's old room, packing what little clothes he had in a bag about to take them to him. I had to be quiet, though. Everyone was sleeping except for Vic, he knew where I was going and he wanted to wait up for me.

I walk out the front door, making sure no one was following. I sigh in relief when I don't see anyone. I walk towards the edge of HQ and begin climbing the fence. I throw Alan's things - that I put in a bag - down then I jumped down.

I kept walking until I reach the small cottage and I knock on the door. "Who is it," Alan calls from the other side.

"Kellin!"

Then I hear locks coming undone and Alan opens up. "Hey," he breathes.

"Hi. I got your clothes," I say, stepping inside the house. I place his stuff on the bed.

"Thanks, Kellin. You don't know what this means to me."

"It's no problem, Alan."

"So, where's Vic? He doesn't usually let you walk around alone. That's like a big no-no in his book." And I blush a bit at that, but ignore it.

"He's back home, waiting for me to return."

"Ah. Well, thanks for this."

"Good night, Alan."

"Night, Kellin. Tell the boys and Vic good night for me. And give Cope a kiss for me."

"Of course."

I walk out of the cottage and begin walking towards the fence. When I reach it, I climb over and begin walking towards the house. I see a few people out and about while most are probably inside sleeping.

When I reach the house, I walk inside and begin walking towards the boys bedroom and see them sleeping in the same bed. Hmmm, that's peculiar. They have their own beds. But I decide to ignore it. Maybe they like sleeping together.

I sit on the edge of the bed and look at them. They looked so at peace unlike when I found them. They looked like the innocent boys they were supposed to be, not boys that were violated. I lean up and place a kiss on both their foreheads. "Goodnight, boys." Then I walk out of their room.

I walk to my room and Vic immediately pulls me close to him. "Thank God you're back. I was about to go out there and look for you." And I laugh a bit. "It's fine. Now can we please go to bed?"

"Yeah, just change." I nod and pull out the shirt. And when I turn to face Vic, he had already turned the other way away from me. I had to smile, he really did care enough that he respects my wishes. I change quickly and begin putting away my clothes when someone comes up behind me and lifts me up bridal style.

He spins us around and begins walking towards the bed. I squeal and begin giggling when Vic throws me on the bed. He was laughing too when he was hovering over me, his breathy laughter fanning my face. I lean up and peck his lips, smiling.

"I love you, Kellin." And I sigh before looking into his eyes. "I know," I whisper. He rolls off me and pulls me to his chest so he's spooning me. "Goodnight, Vic."

"Goodnight."

And the next day, I went to visit Alan and that became a routine. I would visit Alan and whoever didn't accompany me would cover for me. Let's say Vic stayed, he'd keep Austin company and if the boys stayed, they'd keep Austin company. But Cope always came with me.

It had been months since Austin came and I was about to go visit Alan. I was walking down the stairs with Cope in my arms when Austin calls my name from up the stairs. When I turn around, I see he's walking towards me. "Hey, Kellin. Where are you going?"

"Oh, uh, um, I'm going to visit Mike and Tony."

"Can I come?" Shit, shit, shit. Think of something Kellin. Think!

"Well, you see, they told me they needed to tell me something in private, so if you were to come, I wouldn't want you to feel excluded."

"Oh... ok," and man, it hurts to lie to him. I send him an apologetic smile before descending down the stairs and out the door. I begin walking to the fence and use the door this time. I walk deeper and deeper into the woods until I find the cottage and walk in.

"Hey, Alan," I call.

"Kellin? In the kitchen!"

I place Cope on the floor to crawl, but give her her pacifier to chew on since she started teething. I walk into the kitchen and see Alan cooking on the stove. "Hey, Kellin," he says as he stops what he's doing. "And Cope?"

"Crawling."

"Hmm. You should be glad I baby-proofed everything." And I chuckle at that.

"I already knew you did it. I helped, remember?"

"Shup up," he grumbles, knowing full well I'm right.

"Do you need help with anything?"

"Actually yes, can you begin peeling the carrots and cutting them?"

"Yeah," I say, as I wash my hands and grab the knife. "What are you making,"I ask as I begin peeling a carrot.

"Stew." And then we begin working in silence. By the time I was on my last carrot, I hear Cope begin to cry and I drop the knife in the sink before running out of the kitchen to find my baby.

I find her near the bed and she was covered in a blanket and I realized she was probably trying to climb the bed and fell. "Oh, baby, it's okay," I say, bouncing her to calm her down and rub her head. "It's okay, baby." And her crying seizes to whimpers and I begin humming Let Love Bleed Red. And she stops.

I look at Alan, apologizing with my eyes. "It's fine, you go home and take care of your daughter."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's fine. Plus, I'm almost done cooking, so I won't be needing assistance anymore. Go make sure Cope is okay."

"Alright," I say, reluctantly. "I'll come visit tomorrow." I grab Cope's bag and walk out of the cottage. "Bye, Alan," I call over my shoulder.

"Bye, Kellin!"

~~~

Alan

After Kellin had left with Cope, I walk back into the kitchen and finish cutting up the last carrot Kellin left on. Then I throw it into the stew and I grab the wooden spoon, beginning to stir the soup when I hear the front door opening and I laugh.

"What did you forget this time, Kellin," I ask, teasingly since there were a few times he did forget something. No reply. I turn away from the stew and gasp at who I see.

"Austin."

I stood there, shocked. How did he find me? He begins walking closer to me and I begin walking away from the stew and away from him. He stops at the stew and turns the stove off. I was too shocked to ask why he did it.

Then he brings his attention back to me and begins walking closer. "L-Look, Austin, I know what you're going to say. How could I leave you? Why didn't I return your calls? But I was mad and heartbroken that you would think that. And-And please stay back," I say as my back - unfortunately - hits the wall. I look for an escape route, but find none.

I lower my gaze and a few tears escape. He brings his hand to my chin and tilts my head up. I look up at him with wide eyes. But he just leans down and places his lips on mine.

He pulls back and pulls me into a hug. "I've missed you," he says, sniffing my neck. I just stay silent. "I missed your hair," he says, sniffing my hair. "I've missed your lips," he says, pecking them.

"I missed your eyes," he says, pulling back to meet them.

"I missed your laugh," he says and I blush. "I missed the pink tint to your cheeks."

"I missed your body," he says, huskily, running his hands over my waist and hips before bringing them to my butt and cupping it making me squeal. I pull away immediately and move under his arm away from the wall. "Look, I missed you too, Austin, but we can't just go back to where we left off. You really h-hurt m-me," I say, beginning to stutter as he comes closer and closer to me.

I begin walking to the small bedroom and almost slam the door shut when Austin stops it. And him being stronger than me, he opened it and I moved back. He closes the door behind him and begins advancing towards me and I step back. But then the back of my legs hits the edge of the bed.

I look up at Austin and before I could fight back, his lips were on mine again. I begin struggling against him and I finally push him away. "No, Austin. You can't just do that. You don't get to do that."

"Why the hell not? I'm your husband, I saved you, I own you," and I mask the hurt I feel when he says he owns me. I scoff, "You don't own me. And you being my husband doesn't change tbe fact that I am mad at you and that you - my husband - hurt me and made me cry. What happened to, 'Alan, for as long as I live, I swear that I will do everything in my power to never hurt you. To make sure you never have a reason to cry,' and all that bullshit," I snap.

"... You remember my wedding vows?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

He doesn't answer and looks down at my hand and I move it behind me, but I knew he saw. "You're still wearing your wedding ring."

"So? Just because we're fighting doesn't mean we're not married." He grabs my left hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss over the ring, but his lips still touching skin. I blush a bit and when he pulls back, I move my hand away, glaring at him. "Alan," he sighs. "Save it. I have to finish cooking and you need to leave," I say, beginning to move past him. But his hand shoots out and he pulls me back.

I was about to begin yelling at him, but his mouth covers mine in a passionate kiss. He brings his hands to my face. I begin punching and slapping his chest, but he moves his hands to grab mine. I sigh into his mouth and feel my eyes fill with tears. And I knew it would only be so long before I give in.

And I was right. I begin kissing him back and when he realizes that I won't, he lets go of my wrists and brings his hands to my waist. I bring mine to his neck and use my arms to pull me higher and instead, he wraps my legs around his waist pushes me down on the bed.

He pulls back and moves his lips to my neck and begins sucking on my weak spot which he memorized the location of. I moan out loud at the sensation and I feel him smirk into my skin. He gives it one last bite before bringing his lips back to mine and he forces his tongue into my mouth. I groan this time.

And I pull back to rip the shirt off of him. He chuckles and takes my shirt off before attacking my nipple. I arch my back when he bites it. He works his way down until he reaches my jeans and he pulls back to unbotton them. He slides them down my legs and my dick is finally allowed to breathe.

He looks up at me and I nod. He smiles before he pulls my underwear down. He smiles up at me and I have to blush under his gaze. He hovers over me and smiles his award winning smile, "You're so beautiful," he says.

My blush darkens, "No, I'm not." And he frowns, "Yes, you are. You're gorgeous." And before I could disagree, he was kissing me again. I place my hands on his shoulders before moving them down his chest all the way to the waist band of his jeans.

I begin undoing his belt and then unbotton his jeans. I begin pulling them down. He pulls back and pulls his pants down along with his underwear exposing him. And I bite my lip in fear, three years of this and I am still nervous.

He leans down and kisses me again, placing his hands on either side of my head. He sits us up and places his hands on my waist. I place my hands on his neck and kiss back with just as much passion. He moves his hands down to my ass and when he sticks a finger in, I wince into the kiss. And he starts moving it in and out.

I begin moaning into the kiss and pull back and bite into Austin's shoulder. Then he sticks another one in and I gasp at being stretched out so much. He moves these two and scissors me and I groan. This felt wonderful. It's been forever since we've done this.

"I'm going to do one more, okay, Alan?"

I nod, trembling a bit. Just wait until you lose your virginity, Kellin. But he sticks the third one in and I feel tears forming. Austin moves my head so that he can kiss me and begins moving his fingers. And he does for a while until he pulls them out and aligns himself. I take a deep breath before he enters me.

By now, the tears are falling. "I'm sorry, Alan. I know it hurts," and he begins kissing my neck, my shoulder, my forehead, my lips and my tears to distract me. And I feel the pain easing away. "Okay. You can move," I say, breathlessly.

He nods and lays us down before he begins moving. I moan and he begins thrusting faster and harder. I moan and he bites my shoulder. "Au-Austin, go f-faster - FUCK!" But he obliges. And he begins faster and harder. Shit, this is amazing.

This goes on for and I knew I was close. "Austin, I'm so close."

"Me too, Alan," and then I'm squirting all over our stomachs and then he's cumming inside me and I groan at feeling him fill me up. Then he pulls out gently, but I wince all the same. A hint that I will be sore the next day. "We should take a bath," I say and he nods. "I'll go start it while you relax," and I nod at him.

He gets up setting me on the bed gently. And he walks to the door that I told him was the bathroom. Then I hear water running and he takes a while to return, so I'm guessing he waited for the tub to be full because then the water stops and he appears - not even ashamed that he's naked in front of me - and picks me up bridal style.

He walks us to the bathroom and he sets me in the tub full of warm water before he gets in behind me. I lean into his chest and he wraps his strong arms around me. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Alan. I want you to know that that was not my intention. I love you, Alan."

"I know, Austin. I forgive you. And I love you, too. I really love you. Which is why I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I talked to my dad."

"What?! Why would you do that?" And I wince at the yelling. "Answer me!"

"I needed someone to talk to. Someone who was there to witness your love for me. Kellin's only heard about it, my dad's actually witnessed everything we went through together."

"That doesn't justify why you talked to him."

"He told me to forgive you!"

"... What?"

"Exactly what I just said. He told me to forgive you and that we should talk about the kids like adults. That he does think we're ready to be parents, but that it was our choice. That we needed to agree to it together. And I called him crazy, that I could never forgive you for what you said. And he said that it was a spur of the moment thing - that you love me too much to hurt me intentionally."

And he's speechless. I try moving away, but wince at when it causes me pain. "Jesus," I mumble. "Alan, stop trying to move, it'll only hurt you and I don't want that." And I huff at him, but nod. "Good."

And he drops everything, like we just didn't talk about the one man Austin hates with a passion except those that he killed. I sigh. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I mumble.

"Alan, something is obviously wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, now can you get me out of the tub so I can finish cooking?" And he sighs, but gets up and grabs a towel, wrapping it around his waist and grabs another one. He helps me stand before enfolding me in the towel and picking me up.

He sets me down on the bed and I try to stand. But wince at the pain and Austin noticed so, he helped me stand and he picked my clothes for me. He helps me put on the underwear - against my wishes - and I put on my long t-shirt. Which is actually his, but I took it as mine. and I didn't bother with pants.

He carries me to the kitchen and I turn on the stove, letting it heat up before continuing to cook. When I reach for two bowls to serve the stew in, I feel someone wrap their arms around my waist. "I love you," he says.

And I sigh, "I know, I love you, too."

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?"

"Nothing's wrong, Austin." But the truth is, there is something wrong, when are we going to talk about the cause of the fight?

~~~

Kellin

After I had left Alan's small cottage, Cope had fallen asleep, so when we got home, I greeted the boys with a peck on the cheeks. Which Rowan loved and Liam found annoying. Then I greeted Vic with a peck on the lips. "Good morning, have you guys eaten?"

"Uh, funny story, actually. We were waiting for you to come home so you could cook," Liam says.

"Why? Vic can cook also."

"Yeah, but my cooking is not as good as yours."

"Oh, please. It all tastes the same."

"No, it doesn't. Yours taste way better than Vic's. No offense." Rowan.

"None taken. You're right."

"Fine, whatever. Liam, strap Cope into her space-saver, will you," I ask, handing her to him. And he nods before walking into the living room. "Where's Austin?"

"Not sure, he left a little after you did, said he needed to clear his mind."

"Alright."

"Yeah, speaking of which, when are they leaving?"

"Vic," I scold. "They are having problems in their marriage and we will help them in whatever way we can. We are their friends."

"No, you're their friend. They don't like me."

My expression and stance softens. "That's not true. Alan likes you, and Austin is always joking with you. And Jesse accepts you as my partner. He even teases me about you. They all like you. Sure, it started happening when I got here, but that's because I made you show your true colors. Plus, Cope loves you. And the boys aren't afraid of you. And I like you."

"I like you, too, Kellin."

"Good, now start cooking."

"What? I thought you were going to cook."

"Nope. I'm going to prove to you that all cooking taste the same. If the boys think I cooked it, they'll think it tastes delicious, but then we'll tell them it was you. And they'll see there is no difference." Vic laughs, but nods.

"Good, I'm just going to stand here in case the boys walk in." And he does, and there were only a few close calls with the boys, but Vic got it done. And I help him serve the food. "Boys, time to eat!" And they come running down the stairs. And they dig in and I send Vic a small smile.

"Kellin, I think your skills went down. I mean it's good, just not up to your normal standards." And I gape at Liam. Really? Do they really taste a difference? "Actually, Kellin made me cook."

"Why?"

"He was trying to prove that all cooking tastes the same, but you guys proved him wrong." And they laugh, but continue to eat. And I sit down beside them.

The day wasn't that special. Nothing really happened. And Austin never really returned, he just sent a text saying he's spending the night with a friend. And I was a bit hesitant, but I can't control him. No, nothing important happened during the day. Now the night, that's a whole other story.

I had placed Cope down for bed. And I had just finished changing. And we were going to bed. I remember falling asleep in Vic's arms. And it was blissful. That is until Vic and I both sat up as soon as we heard screaming.

I hurridley get out of bed and grab Cope. And we run out of the room. Vic and I make our way to the boy's room. When I enter, I'm surprised to see them in separate beds. They usually sleep in the same bed. But I make my way to the screaming brother - Rowan. Vic goes to Liam who was crying silently.

"Rowan, Rowan, wake up, you're just dreaming," I say, shaking him. I finally got him to wake up and he sits up panting and begins crying. I set Cope between us and I hug him close. "It's okay. It's okay. It was only a dream."

"It-It w-wasn't. It was my past."

"Oh. It's all over now. You will never go back to that life." He nods and adjusts himself so he's over my heart. "You remind me of my mom, Kellin. She used to hold me like this when I had a nightmare. Will you be my new mom?"

"I-If that's what you want."

"Yes."

"Ok. I'll be your new mom. But I could never replace your real mom." And he nods. "Can Vic be my dad?"

"If he wants."

"Can you ask him?"

"Vic?"

"Yeah," he asks from his position, hugging Liam. "Will you be Rowan's dad?"

"Of course."

"And my parents too?" Liam asks.

"Of course. I told you guys that you can ask for anything you want," I say, running a hand through Rowan's hair. I lay him down and continue running my hand through his hair. "Can you sing for me?"

"What song? Low or Let Love Bleed Red?"

"Both."

"Alright. I'll start with Low.

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Uh-uh-uh.
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Uh-uh-uh.
Should I choose my heart or my head?
I wish that I could just replay the thoughts,
Of things I never said.
Should I use my heart or my head?
I wish that I could just turn back the time,
Start over again.
But if we're laying it on the line this time,
I better say this now.

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try so hard to convince myself,
It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.
Don't make me,
Don't make me,
Feel low.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh.

So tell me why did it take,
Twenty-six years,
to figure out how to love.
Just to throw it all away.
She said,
"Maybe if you'd been a little bit smarter,
Maybe if you tried hard enough,
I wouldn't question why I shouldn't stay."
But you expect me to come back around,
You better show me that you've changed.

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try to hard to convince myself, It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.
Don't make me,
Don't make me,

Don't make me walk out the door,
Don't you throw it away.
Don't make me,
Don't make me.
'Cause I'm leaving for good,
And I'm not coming back again.
(Back again, Back again.)
(I'm not coming back again!)

When I said it was over,
I meant it.
But now I can't let you go.
Still, I can't accept that.
You make me feel so,
You make me feel so,

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try to hard to convince myself, It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try to hard to convince myself, It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.
You know I need you so."

"I-I like that one," Liam says and Rowan agrees. "Next one," Rowan mumbles, in a sleepy voice. And I nod.

"Is it naive to make plans,
That seem so far away?
There's a reason I feel this way,
You're sleeping alone,
(You're alone)
I'm awake
When you dream of me tonight, am I close to where you are?
(To where you are?)

Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Could)
This could mean everything or nothing at all
(All)
You take what is real (all, all)
I'll give you my all

Is it naive to make plans that seem
So (so), so (so), so (so), far?
I think "let's not wait, let's love right now,
Let's love right now"

Lay me down,
(Lay me down)
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright

Oh, here where we lie,
Outstretched to wonder why we don't belong
You deserve much more, and I'll give until I'm all gone
Forever know your face
And ever take your place here by my side,
Like a ghost into the night,
The poisoned apple to my bite,
I'll be the shadow at your door,
I'll be the moth into your light,
'Cause you deserve much more
Yeah, 'cause you deserve much more

Lay me down,
(Lay me down)
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Thunder storms could never shake us
Lay me down and kiss me like
(Lay me down and kiss me like)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Everything will be alright
(Things will be alright)
This could mean everything or nothing at all
(ahh)
You take what is real,
(ahh)
I'll give you my all
(ahh)

(The poisoned apple to my bite)
This could mean everything
(ahh)
(I'll be the shadow at your door)
Or nothing at all
(I'll be the moth into your light)
(ahh)
You take what is real
('Cause you deserve much more)
(ahh)
I'll give you my all."

By the time I was done, Rowan was asleep. I peck his forhead and walk over to Vic and Liam. I take a seat on the bed. "You okay, now?"

"Yeah."

"Good. If you need us, don't be afraid to ask. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Liam."

"Goodnight." I smile and place a kiss to his forehead. I adjust Cope and Vic and I walk out. When we walk out of the room and into ours, I place Cope in her crib. And I see Vic in bed and when I stare at him, he stretches out his arms and I crawl into his arms.

I let out a shake sigh. "I hate whoever did that to them," I mumble.

"I know, I know. Same way I hate your uncle for what he did to you."

"It's not the same. They were raped, I wasn't."

"Kellin, it's still just as bad." I stay silent. "Let's just go to sleep," I say.

"Kellin," he sighs.

"Vic," I imitate.

"Kellin, I'm serious. What you went through is just as bad as what they went through. None of you deserved what happened to you."

"I know, Vic."

"Good," he pecks my forehead. "Now we can go to bed." And I nod, getting under the covers. I feel Vic lay an arm over my abdomen and I fall asleep.