Bulletproof Love

I hurt everywhere. I couldn't move or it'd hurt too much. My whole body hurt. My sickness had finally gone away, but that didn't mean the abuse stopped. My uncle made sure I got some kind of torture everyday. My ribs were still broken and it hurt to breathe. One of my uncle's goons fixed my nose though, but it did hurt.

My dad came to clean me up everyday, always promising to get me out of here. I'm still waiting for that to happen, dad. I knew he wasn't going to go through with it. Times like these are when I missed my mom most. She had always been kind, gentle, sweet. What any kid wanted in a mother. I picked up after her, I guess. A lot of her friends used to tell me that. And I was proud I was like mother. I wanted to be just like her.

My dad was currently cleaning my chest since my uncle started cutting it up a bit with a knife. By a bit, I mean there was a cut everywhere. I sigh.

I missed my kids - Cope, Rowan, and Liam. I missed Jesse and Jaime. I missed Alan and Austin. I missed Tony, Jack, Gabe, and Justin. I missed Shayley, Aaron, Tino, and Phil. I even missed Mike. But most of all, I missed Vic.

I wanted to be back in his safe and strong arms again. I want us to fall asleep tonight and have him show me I'm not broken. I want him to protect me. I want him to peck my forehead and tell me I'm okay. I want him to lay me down and tell me everything will alright. I want him to tell me what his dreams are made of. I just want him.

I was so close to death and I knew it. I was going to die here. I have accepted that, but I didn't want it to be so

I wince as my dad cleaned one that was a little too deep. "Sorry," he says. I relax before speaking, "It's fine," I mumble. He nods and continues with what he was doing. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"How long have I been here?"

"A month." I nod. I knew it was around that much. A whole away from my family. My real family. It broke my heart to think about them. What if Cope has already forgotten about me? What if Vic's moved on? How were the boys? My babies, I wondered if they missed me.

"They do miss you, Kellin."

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, but they do miss you. Your husband hasn't stopped sending search parties out. He hasn't stopped looking for you. And, Kellin, he's a wreck without. I've never seen anyone so disorientated like that. He really loves you."

"How do you know this?"

"Your uncle has some men watching the gang. I've heard them talk about it. Then once when it was my turn to watch, I saw him. That man is so heartbroken." And I felt my heart break even more knowing Vic was in pain. They still thought he was my husband and I'll let them think that for as long as they want.

"I just want to go home."

"I know. Soon, I promise. Really soon." He says, then he gets up to leave. I watch him sadly. Then my uncle walks in. I tense, but I regret it after because it hurt my body a lot more than anticipated. "You know, remember when you ran away?" I nod.

"I want you to know that the only reason I haven't fnished what I started tthat night is because I wanted to take your virginity, but I know you're not a virgin anymore. You gave it to that Mexican," and he said the Mexican as if it were poison. I was confused, though. Why would he think I had sex with Vic? Then I realized, he knew a lot about my relationship. He knew Vic and I slept in the same bed. I was going to have to go along with that.

He gives me another beating before leaving. I just wanted to go home.

~~~

Vic

I missed him. I missed him so much. No one understood, but I was dying without him. I felt weak, tired. I didn't even see the point of existing anymore. Sometimes, I almost drink my problems away, but then I remembered. I have three kids that need my support. I needed to be strong for them. For Kellin.

"Dada," I hear. I pick my head up from my hand and look down. Cope grabbed onto my shorts and hoisted herself up. When she's standing is when I pick her up. I hold her to my chest. "Mama?" She asks and I feel myself choke up.

"Mama isn't home yet, baby. But I promise soon." She nods and wraps her small arms around my neck. I walk into the living room. No one was as lively without Kellin. He made us all happy. Austin's gang hasn't found anything at Kellin's old house except for some pictures of when he was younger. They shipped them to me.

Everytime I got depressed, I would look through the album of photos. He was so adorable. Not much has changed. Sometimes the boys would sit by me and look through the pictures along with me. It would make us smile, even for a little bit. They missed Kellin just as much as I did. The album of photos was almost as if Kellin were still here. Almost.

In all my years of living, I would have never thought I'd need someone as much as I needed him. Our kids are the only thing keeping me sane. I loved them just as much as I loved Kellin. I missed him.

I wanted him back in my arms. I wanted to hold him. To kiss him. I needed his gentleness to calm me down. I wanted to protect him from the world so cold and cruel. I wanted him to need me and never leave me. I needed him to control me.

~~~

Kellin

"AH!" I screamed out as they burned my chest. I had been screaming so loud I'm surprised I haven't lost my face.

My chest was bleeding and blistered. Then a new burn was placed on my arms. They had strapped me in a chair as they burned me. I was in my underwear and I couldn't even look at my body without feeling like crying.

I let out another scream and the guy burning pulls back to cover his ears. "Jesus Christ, he's sure got a voice!" Before he can continue, my uncle steps in. "Stop. I'll take it from here." The guy nods and leaves. My uncle turns to me and unties me from the chair.

He makes me stand and my shivering form collapses on him. He carries me to the wall and shackles me to the wall. He grabs a knife and I tense when he walks towards me with it. He places it right my waist band before carving into my skin and I let another ear splitting scream. It didn't phase him - he was used to my screaming after all.

When he pulls back, he unshackles me and I fall down to my knees in pain. I look down at my chest and see he had carved a word into my skin - worthless. I feel a sob force its way up my throat. He really did hate me. That's all I'll ever be to him - worthless. I don't know why that hit me harder than it should have, but it did.

I see I was bleeding and I felt myself growing more and more faint. I should have panicked, but I welcomed it. My only regret was not being able to be with my family, but I was okay with this happening right now. I was going to die and that's okay.

Then everything begins dark and I had never felt more at peace than when my whole turned off. I smile as I lose all consciousness. Goodbye.