You Put the Spike in My Heart

Bailey woke up to hear snoring in the bunk next to hers. She didn't know how long she had been asleep but guessed it had been the whole day. She wondered if anyone had tried to wake her but wouldn't be surprised either way. The guys had pretty much gotten used to just letting her sleep, though once in a while someone would shake her viciously to make sure she was still alive. Like Frank.

A jolt of pain went through her as the past week rushed back like a punch in the gut. She had been so incredibly horrible to Frank. He had come to visit her at least twice a day to check up on her and try to make her feel better. Most of the time she ignored him, other times she had snapped at him. That and she would break down crying if he said the right thing to set her off. He was relentless...she didn't deserve a friend like him.

And then there was Gerard. Bailey was sure he thought she was a nutcase, but could she blame him? Every time they came into contact she acted off her rocker. She would have to work on her social skills if she was going to hang out with a bunch of people...or at least get good at pretending again.

She picked herself up out of the bunk and swayed where she stood. She was weak from forgetting to eat, not to mention her lovely sleeping habits. Going a week without rest and then sleeping for 24 hours straight wasn't anywhere near healthy.
Her mouth felt disgusting, her stomach empty and her skin clammy. She was a mess, but despite all of that she felt better than she had this whole past week.
Deciding she could do without food for one more hour, she headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

When she entered the bathroom she couldn't help but go straight to the mirror. She could hardly recognize the face staring back at her. Her cheekbones had become more prominent from the loss of weight, her eyes more sunken from the loss of sleep. Loss.

Yeah, story of her life.

Ignoring the craving to break the mirror, she peeled off her clothes and stepped into the shower. She gasped when the cold water hit her body, she was in need of the shock to take her mind off of things.
But it didn't last long. Naked was the worst reminder of how much she had changed. There were scars up her arms and her ribs were protruding from sallow-looking skin.
She missed her full, flawless frame. She used to be so happy with herself, so confident, so loved. She felt a wave of loneliness pass over her and crossed her arms to keep her shoulders from shaking.

It was like that for a few moments before she threw her hands out in front of her to keep from hitting the shower wall. The bus had stopped abruptly and she cursed the driver under her breath.
She hurried up with the shower, needing no more reminders as to how pathetic she had become. She dressed simply in torn-up jeans and a black cami, adding arm warmers to the ensemble to divert unnecessary questions.
When she opened the door she heard voices coming from the front of the bus and noticed that they hadn't started moving again. She went to the door and opened it a crack so she could hear who was up.

"Has she talked to you at all?"

The voice obviously belonged to Frank and she didn't need to think hard to know who he was talking about.

"Not about anything important. She usually just yells at me, especially if I try and talk about anything serious with her."

Bailey rolled her eyes. She had been awful to Bert also, but he got on her nerves so badly that she couldn't help it.

"Has she gotten up? Talked to anyone else?"

She opened the door a little wider to see if she could see them. Frank was a few feet away, his back to the door. Bert was sitting with Mikey on the sofa. She was suddenly irritated at the fact that they were talking about her like that in front of Mikey. She didn't want Mikey to think bad of her. She had to interrupt them.
She opened the door and pounced on Frank without hesitation. She took him to the floor and sat comfortably on his back.

"Morning Franky!"

Bert looked at her stunned, Mikey laughed and Frank froze beneath her. She ignored their shock and waved at Mikey enthusiastically. He waved back as Frank started to shift underneath her. She only let him move enough to roll on his back. She genuinely smiled down at him and he couldn't help but smile back, ecstatic that she was in such a good mood. Bailey pouted and crossed her arms.

"I said, MORNING FRANKY!"

"It's two in the morning, you nutter."

"It's still morning."

"It's still dark out."

"But it's still morning."

"But - "

She leaned forward and placed both hands tightly over his mouth. She gave him a stern look, trying not to laugh unsuccessfully.

"If the next words out of your mouth aren't 'good morning, Bailey-Face' then I am going to tickle you until you cry."

She took her hands away and Frank shifted onto his elbows so he could look her in the eyes.

"You. Wouldn't. Dare."

"Why do you make me do these things?"

Bailey shook her head before attacking Frank's ribcage - receiving complaints, giggles and shrieks.

"Dog-pile!"

It was Bailey's turn to shriek as Bert jumped on top of them followed by a hesitant Mikey. In the midst of trying to untangle themselves, a very tired looking Dan opened the door and looked at them all through half-shut lids. His hair was flat on one side and all over the place on the other.

"What the hell are you guys doing?"

Bailey giggled.

"Orgy?"

Dan nodded and went back towards the bunks making everyone burst out laughing again.

"Even though I would love nothing more than to get them back for ruining my sleep all week, we should probably try and be quiet."

She bit her lip. That wasn't necessarily true, the boys really had nothing to do with her lack of sleep and she felt guilty for saying it.

"Come over to our bus, the guys are all up playing video games." Mikey insisted and they all agreed.

All four of them held hands and skipped to the bus, laughing at themselves. Bailey was in-between Mikey and Frank. She couldn't help but feel right at home. She was comfortable with Mikey, like another brother figure. She had missed that a lot and felt suddenly thankful that she had come on the tour.

Mikey led the way onto the bus at first and more laughing erupted when they all tried to cram in the door at the same time. Bailey and Mikey broke through but she let go of his hand as soon as she saw the way Gerard was looking at them. With her mind more sober than it had been all week, she was able to catch on to why he acted the way he did the first day they had met. The look he gave her was worse this time but again, she couldn't blame him. He had every right to protect his brother from her, especially when he had gotten a taste of how toxic she could be.

She looked him in the eye and gave him a crooked, knowing smile. She hoped that he saw that she knew what he was thinking and would be respectful of it. He didn't smile back but he looked satisfied enough as he went back to the video game he was playing.

"Good morning, boys."

"Good morning." they all answered, even Gerard who didn't look up again like the rest. Bailey gave Frank a smug look.

"See, that's how it's done."

Frank rolled his eyes and pushed her on the couch. She landed in the only seat available next to Gerard and she felt him stiffen as soon as she landed.
Gerard's mind stopped working for a moment. When Bailey was shoved next to him he received an intoxicating wave of her scent. It was like rain and lilac with a hint of cigarette smoke. He stared at her wide-eyed and she looked back sheepishly, thinking that he was just surprised from her bumping into him. He blinked rapidly and looked away as Bob called out.

"Take that, Gee!"

He had just lost the game to Bob. How long had he been comatose in her scent?

"Franky. Feed me."

Frank had just sat down and he gave her a look.

"Feed yourself, brat."

"What do you want?"

She was stunned when Gerard asked her this a little too eagerly. Gerard was stunned a little himself, but he felt the need to get away from her. The way she smelled was setting his blood on fire and shutting down his brain. She bit her lip ring in thought and he wanted to suddenly shake her and tell her to never do it again. He was too aware of how pink, smooth and full her lips were now.
His hazel eyes were boring into hers, struggling to keep them there and no where else. What was going on with him? Bailey felt intimidated under his stare and hurriedly peeped out an answer.

"Anything."

He nodded and it took all of his strength to keep himself from running out of the room.
It wasn't long before Gerard was back. He set a sandwich down on the arm of the couch and headed toward the back of the bus.

"What, no rematch?"

Bob was all smiles, apparently he didn't win often.

"No, I'm going to go get some sleep."

"Sore loser."

"Fuck you, dude."

He said this with a smile on his face before disappearing into the back.
Bailey frowned slightly at her sandwich, suddenly not so hungry anymore. She knew he went back there because of her and that was okay, she accepted it. But it did make her a little sad. She could tell Gerard was a nice guy and an adored friend to all of the guys. She had screwed up, her fault. It was completely understandable.
Frank took Gerard's seat and slid his hand into hers.

"I could make you something different."

She shook her head and smiled before burying her face in his arm.

"S'not the sandwich."

"Then what is it?"

I suck at life.
I'm lonely.
I'm a bitch.
I miss home.
I miss mum.
I can't control myself.
I'm an alcoholic.
I'm a drug addict.
But most of all, I'M SORRY.

"It's nothing."

She looked up at him and gave him the best fake, reassuring look she could muster. He believed her...

She didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.