You Put the Spike in My Heart

"So are you going to join me or are you just going to lurk behind the bushes some more?"

After not being able to get a hold of Frank by phone, Gerard had decided to go and look for Bailey. He had found her at a skate park about a mile down the road, taking pictures from a bench outside of the park's fence. He had been hiding behind the bushes, not knowing how to approach her. She looked back at him when he didn't answer.

"Well?"

He came out from behind the bushes and timidly sat next to her on the bench.

"Why did you follow me?"

She went back to snapping pictures of the skaters and he measured her actions. She was calm and warm again, with a touch of sadness. Her eyes looked as if she were somewhere else completely.

"I was worried about you."

She met his eyes. He searched them and came up with nothing. She set her camera down and put her hands on both sides of his face. His breath caught in his throat as he again caught her heavenly scent.

"Don't give yourself a brain hemorrhage Gerard, honestly."

She brought her hands back to her sides and smiled at his shocked face.

"If you want to know something, now is the time to ask."

He looked away, asking himself if he really wanted to do this. Asking this girl questions was going to make him involved. She was suddenly willing to open up to him when she was scared to even talk to Frank. He decided not to ask anything but the words came before he could stop them. It was like the million questions had become too many and bubbled out against his will.

"What happened? Why did you get so upset?"

To his surprise, her expression didn't change at all. She was merely searching for something in his eyes as much as he was hers.

"The anniversary of my mother's death is at the end of the month. Bert never told me we were going to be in the same area she died in on the tour. I know he knew, I just don't know why he thought keeping it from me was a good idea. It hurts, ya know?"

He nodded.

"How did she die?"

Her eyes went back to the skaters, biting her lip in thought - seeing something he obviously could not. He could suddenly picture himself tilting her face back toward him and softly kissing her pain away.

Oh, hell. Damn him and his lust. Damn her and that lip ring.

She lifted the camera back to her face and snapped a couple more pictures. He didn't think she was going to answer his question at first until she leaned back and sighed. He realized she was just preparing herself - composing herself for the conversation.

"It was a car accident. My dad was all out of booze."

She rolled her eyes before continuing.

"He decided to take me and my mum to the liquor store with him. He didn't trust my mum, and I didn't want to leave her alone with my dad."

He watched as she pulled her legs against her chest and wrapped her arms around them, nails instantly embedded in her own skin. Her eyes were more distant than he had ever seen.

"He was already drunk before we left. Fucking alcoholic. He was going 90 on dirt, country roads. Flipped the car three times. It's why he's in jail right now."

"I'm so sorry."

She closed her eyes tightly and pushed aside the apology as best as she could.
Her eyes flew back open when she felt his cautious touch. He coaxed her fingers from their strangle-hold and held her hand in his own to keep her from doing any more damage to herself. He was relieved when she didn't pull away from him. In fact, it seemed to relax her. Her hands were strong and soft despite their boney look.

"Why are you always like five different people around me?"

She tried to smile but it pulled back down into a frown.

"I don't know. Why are you so nice to me?"

He rubbed his thumb over her hand and looked away.

"I don't know."

It was silent for a few moments before he heard her camera again. She had taken a picture of him and was regarding him with a fascinated look.

"What did you take a picture of me for?"

"Because you're pretty like your brother."

She batted her eyelashes at him with a dopey grin and he laughed.

"You know I would never hurt Mikey, right?"

His laugh died immediately and he cleared his throat, not sure why he was asking the next question.

"Do you like him or something?"

It was her turn to laugh.

"No, no. That's not it. He just has this innocence about him. It's refreshing. I'm just letting you know, I'm not trying to corrupt him or something. I was avoiding him when I was feeling off. He's just so nice, I don't want to ruin that."

"Speaking of brothers..."

Both his change of subject and obvious direction made her unhappy. Did he really think she was the epitome of evil? And why exactly did that thought make her stomach churn?

"What are you going to do about Bert?"

"I already called Frank. He should be talking to him now. As long as he doesn't talk to me for a couple of days, he just might make it out of this one alive."

She brought her camera up once more but then stopped and pouted at the skaters.

"I miss Bam."

"Excuse me?"

Did she mean who he thought she meant? Bailey looked at Gerard and laughed.

"Yes, that Bam. We moved to Pennsylvania some time when I was a teenager. Bam was like my Franky - my best friend. Skating always reminds me of him. We're going to be about an hour away from his house when we go through Pennsylvania on tour."

It was like she was talking to herself, her eyes far off into the past again.

"Why don't you look him up?"

She shook her head.

"The last time I saw him I was saying goodbye, knowing it would be for a long time. It didn't exactly end on a good note."

"Are you going to see your father when we get there?"

"Top priority."

Her eyes looked pained, completely different from anything he had seen from her so far.
"He knows just how to hurt me, ya know? I don't know why he does it. He always takes everything out on me. But I'm all he has."

Gerard went to ask her another question but she was trying to let go of his hand. He held tight to her thinking that she was recoiling from him again but she gave him a warm smile.

"We should get back. I want to watch you guys play tonight."

~*~

Bailey was pushed up against the barrier and could hardly breathe. Worst of all, some crazy fan-girl had made her spill her beer. She muttered something about rutting 15 year olds when everyone started to scream. Frank had come on stage to do a sound check on his guitar.

"I heard he was this big."

Bailey almost barfed when she heard the girl behind her. She did NOT want to hear the measurement of Frank's endowments. She turned around and the girl happened to be the one who had made her spill her drink earlier. She invited herself into the conversation.

"Hi, I couldn't help but overhear. But I thought I would let you in on a secret. I happen to know Frank and he's only really..."

She brought her fingers up and stretched them a mere 2 inches. She heard a loud protest behind her and looked to see that Frank had seen and understood the exchange.

"This coming from a girl who stuffs her bra!"

The girls around her giggled as Bailey glared at Frank.

"How do you know him?"

Bailey saw the opening and took it. She brought out her left hand and showed them the ring she always wore.

"He's my fiance! Isn't that exciting?!"

"Oh."

The girls sneered at her in jealousy, giving her a wide berth. Bailey was relieved, not being as squished as before. She went back to her spot to see Frank slamming his head against his guitar.

"That's not how you do a sound check, genius!"

"You are in so much trouble after the show!"

"Yes, dear."

She smiled lovingly at him and she received a roll of the eyes in return.

"Take it easy on the drinking tonight."

He motioned to the beer in her hand.

"It's only my first one, mother dearest."

He smiled and nodded before disappearing backstage.
The show started about a half hour later. Gerard was worried when he couldn't spot Bailey in the crowd. He was starting to think that she might have ditched the concert to go to a bar but Frank had pointed her out mid-song with a wide grin. She had her eyes closed and was dancing along to the music. She was wearing a fitted red cami, black baggy jeans and her arm warmers again. He could see her midriff when she moved her hips. Her hands were in her hair and her whole body moved in rhythm, making it hard for him to focus. The song was 'Vampires Will Never Hurt You', only further reminding him how he would love nothing more than to jump off the stage and press his lips to her neck.
He tore his eyes away to regain his composure, going back to his usual-stage self. Bailey received a tap on the shoulder and turned around to face the same girl as earlier.

"Gerard was completely eye-balling you. What are you? The band slut or something?"

Bailey hadn't drank enough to be angry at the comment so she smiled at the girl.

"Actually, the correct term would be 'groupie'."

The girls stared past her but before she could turn around she felt a sharp sting to her behind. She whipped around to face Gerard, still singing - laughter in his eyes. He had snapped her in the ass with his towel. She set her jaw, trying not to laugh herself and leaned across the barrier. He brushed his finger under her jaw playfully and his eyes changed to something she didn't recognize.

"I'll never let them hurt you. I promise." He sang before throwing his towel in her face.
He proceeded back to the stage and Bailey threw the towel behind her into the crowd without a second thought. He never looked at her again the entire concert, but her thoughts were too far away for her to really notice. She didn't know how to make sense of what he had just tried to get through to her. All she knew is that it felt good.

Gerard, I hope you know that whatever that look in your eyes meant...

...I'm holding you to it.