The Enigma’s Anomaly

It’s been two weeks since I last saw Gerard. For so long I was tempted to just bump into him whenever I could find the chance, but whenever I tried, I just didn’t. I was so close to ‘accidentally’ seeing him so many times but I didn’t do it.

I watch him from afar I guess, but not in the creepy way. I’m honestly just trying to make sure that no one around him is trying to kill him. He’s stubborn and I know that, so he didn’t allow himself to be stuffed up in a house for much more than a week. Still he’s been in the clear for a while. Two weeks and no attempts at his life.

As for me I’ve been pretty shit. It’s like I’m going through a bad breakup but I was never even in a relationship with him. Still I find myself watching Letters to Juliet and eating pringles by the hundred.

I finally decide that I’ve had enough of all this shit. I want to see him. I want to see him like that rabbit wants those Trix. I want to be near him like Gollum wants that ring.

I don’t even know what I’ll want when I see him. Maybe a hug, or a handshake, or his tongue in my mouth. I want to see him. That much I know.

I don’t actually know where he is today. It’s a Tuesday. Where do people go on Tuesdays? Work, usually, but that means that Gerard will be anywhere, but at his office. There’s really only three options when it comes to Gerard. He’ll be at his office, in his coffee shop or in his apartment. I decide I might as well go to his apartment first.

I arrive in front of the door at about noon, but when I knock there’s no response. He doesn’t seem to be home and I don’t hear any rustling around so I doubt anyone else is in there. I sigh, but head back out onto the street. I walk the few blocks to his office which is closer to me than the coffee shop so I stop there.

His assistant, whose purpose I’ve still yet to find, gives me a funny look. I figure she either doesn’t remember who the hell I am or she just doesn’t like me. It’s possible that both are true.

I don’t say anything, but I spot that Schechter guy in his office because the door is open. I already broke in there to check his handwriting so he’s in the clear, and I don’t want to have to try to make small talk so I just turn on my heels when she says that Gerard’s not there.

Why does he have an assistant if he’s never here? It seems pointless, though I doubt her position was not entirely determined by Gerard because he would never have picked someone with such an obvious distaste for humans. I’ve spoken four words to that girl, but I get the impression that she’s a bit of a homophobe. I don’t know how someone of that state of mind could work for Gerard, but I don’t worry too much about it.

I walk down the street until I get to the coffee shop and I cross my fingers. I don’t know if I’m hoping that he’s there or that he isn’t. I want to see him, but at the same time I really don’t. I think I want to talk or something, but I’m so nervous about that very idea.

I take a deep breath and walk a little further to peak into the window. No point in going in if he’s not there. He is though.

Red head messy as always and back facing the window. He’s far enough in the coffee shop that no sniper could possibly get him. A handgun would work though.

The odd thing is that Gerard’s not alone. There’s a man sitting across from him. He’s not in my usual seat to the immediate left of him, but I still don’t like the way someone else is there instead of me.

From the looks of it though, I have nothing to be jealous of. For one thing the man sitting across from Gerard is in his late sixties. Thin, crisp, well groomed, but unwelcoming. His forehead is creased in anger like he and Gerard are fighting about something. Actually he’s probably angry at Gerard, because Gerard doesn’t really get mad. If he does get mad he walks away from the situation completely.

Another thing that tips me off is that Gerard’s hands are completely still on the table which means he’s either not talking or he doesn’t care about what he’s saying. He gets very stiff when he has no passion for the subject at hand, and my guess is that he’s probably annoyed, but he’s too nice to tell this guy to go away.

I don’t know whether I should just walk off and try again tomorrow or wait until they’re finished, but I am not interrupting him. I have to figure out who this guy is though, because he doesn’t look familiar to me, and he’s mad at Gerard. Maybe he’s the guy trying to kill Gerard. Doubtful, but not off the table.

As it turns out I don’t have all that long to wait for the conversation to finish because the man stands up violently and struts away from Gerard’s table without so much as saying goodbye. I couldn’t actually hear what they were talking about because I’m outside, but I gather that it was not a fun subject.

When the greying man walks out of the shop I walk towards him and ‘accidentally’ bump into him. Well if I’m not going to do anything today at least I got this guy’s wallet. That should be fun to look through. He doesn’t notice me take it from him because I’m just the little guy who walked into him on the street. I’m a jack of all trades you could say. As long as that trade happens to include illegality.

I walk in and feel myself shiver because the air conditioning in here is colder than the wind out there. It’s strange for a coffee shop to be so cold, but I don’t care. I’m on a mission.

There he is, he’s at his table in the coffee shop, just as I’d have expected. His head is turned away from me so he hasn’t registered that I’m here yet. I could still leave. This is my last chance to just walk away and get out of his life forever. It would be the smartest thing to do.

I probably won’t get caught by the cops if I never see him again, and I can’t get hurt in the aftermath of someone trying to kill him. Well I can’t physically, but the emotional implications of that would hurt like hell.

I can’t do that to him though. I’m selfish, sure, but I want him. I want to be his. I just need to talk to him, just this once, and then I’ll be out of his life again. He’s like a drug to me. I can’t just quit him cold turkey, I have to take it easy.

Maybe I can find something I hate about him. There isn’t anything I hate about him though. If I find a flaw then it’ll be so much easier to walk away, but unfortunately this fucking dork is as perfect as they come. A bit eccentric, but lovely.

I take a deep breath and walk over to his table.

“Can I sit down?” I ask. This is turning more and more into a cheesy rom-com by the minute.

He looks up at me, and he looks far past surprised. He’s looking at me like he’s seeing a ghost, and his mouth hangs open for a few seconds before he nods.

I take my normal seat and he looks at me a little perplexed for a moment.

“I, uh,” he clears his throat and looks down at his sketchbook for a second before finishing, “I saw the article.”

“And what’d you think?” I had almost forgotten about that. It’s funny how the thing that brought us together seems so small and inconsequential now. Well it didn’t actually bring us together, my contract did, but he doesn’t know that.

“Was good,” he says quickly. “Did’ya get the job?”

“I got an offer, yeah.”

He nods and I know he’s trying to be casual, but it’s hard for him. He’s probably pissed at me or something.

“Going to accept it?”

“I’m thinking about it,” I answer. I won’t accept it though. Just because I resigned this one case doesn’t mean I’m out of the business. It’s what I do. I just couldn’t do it to Gerard.

“Is that all?” he asks. I can actually hear the pain in his voice and I want to scream because of how much it hurts me.

I think of all the things I could say here. So many things that are dying to fall off my tongue, but instead I shrug and kick myself mentally.

What the hell does that shrug mean? It probably looked stupid. I probably look stupid. He probably thinks I’m so stupid. I am stupid when I’m around him. I’m the best person I can ever be when I’m around him, and that just so happens to mean I’m a moron.

“So how’d you convince Mikey to let you free?” I ask. That’s a stupid ass thing to say.

“Just did,” He answers shortly. I can’t tell if he’s pissed off or sad. While most of me is hoping he’s not mad, a part of me thinks that would be ideal. I’m only trying to do what’s best for him and if he doesn’t want me around then it might help me stop yearning. I can’t stomach the thought of him not wanting to see me, but it would be beneficial for my mental state in the long run.

“I, um,” Gerard clears his throat and he refuses to look at me, “I have somewhere I’m meant to be.”

“Oh. Okay,” I say. He’s lying and we both know that but I’m not going to stop him. My heart cracks a little when it sinks in that he’s only saying that to get away from me.

“I’ll, uh... bye,” Gerard says and he stands up quickly then walks away. He didn’t make eye contact with me more than once during that whole whatever that was. It wasn’t a conversation, that’s for sure. It was five minutes of us sitting and breathing uncomfortably.

Well shit, this went horribly. He’s gone now, and I have no right to follow him. I should just scream at him that I’m crazy for him, but he’d get even madder at me. He’d think I’m needy, or something.

Maybe he didn’t leave because he was mad at me though. Maybe he just left because he’s actually got somewhere to be. Unlikely. Maybe he feels just as nervous around me as I do around him. I’ve walked out on him twice, maybe this was his payback. I have to stop thinking about the maybe’s though. He and I just won’t work. It’s a case of a round peg and a square hole. Or maybe we’re both square pegs and we don’t connect because we’re both the anomalies.

Mindlessly I decide to look through the wallet I just stole. His name is Derek Fischer and according to his business card he’s Gerard’s boss. He’s the publisher of Gerard’s comic. Why would he be mad at Gerard? Personally, I think that being shot at is merit for a little slack. That’s just me.

I mentally add this guy on my list of people to background check. So far I’ve only got two suspects, one being Mister Fischer and the other being some ex-boyfriend of his. I don’t know much about either, but according to some not so polite emails I happened to come across when thoroughly searching Gerard’s computer, it did not end well. Let’s just say that this ex-boyfriend belongs as an ex or a never was.

I’m really fucking bothered by the fact that he broke up with Gerard because he wouldn’t put out. Gerard’s personality is the most amazing thing in this world and that guy was angry about his sex life? He doesn’t deserve Gerard if that’s all he’s after. Because of that the ex is at the top of my list. If he doesn’t think there will be repercussions for picking on Gerard than he is not going to enjoy the next time he bakes cookies because I will replace every drop of sugar in his home with salt.