The Enigma’s Anomaly

To be honest I think this new life is starting to feel normal. It’s weird, it’s like living in suburbia only your neighbors are all trees, but I’m starting to like it. I get to see Gerard every morning with his stupidly attractive face and I’m even beginning to appreciate the grossed out look Mikey gives me at breakfast. I think it’s starting to feel like an actual life.

The argument had set us off into the arrival of a routine. We tip toe around it, and for the most part pretend it never happened. We both did stupid things and said stupid stuff, so it’s easiest to just let it go. In a lot of ways it makes me feel closer to Gerard.

I see more of Gerard’s character then I think I used to. It’s easier for me to accept that he loves me back the way I love him. It’s still not computing as to why on earth he would love me, but I’ll learn to live with the unknowable. If we’re going to pick the luckier one here, I’d say it’s me, because I got Gerard in this deal, and that’s a prize worthy of a king. Gerard is pretty amazing. He’s special, dorky and a giant teddy bear, but also insanely sexy. I’ve given up trying to understand how he’s so perfect, and I don’t think the answer would be nearly as interesting as the product it’s fashioned. Gerard is the closest anyone’s ever going to get to perfect and that observation is sufficient enough for my curiosity.

Almost three months of living in this place, and the house keeps transitioning from ‘a bunch of guys live here’ to ‘a bunch of guys live here but one of them is a neat freak and two of them like to piss him off by not picking up their messes occasionally’. Gerard’s the neat freak. He’s sometimes so obnoxiously gay that it physically hurts to be near him. I mean I love him, but he can be one ostentatious homosexual.

“Frank!” Gerard screams from the basement where he’s been doing laundry. He’s been predominately unsuccessful in actually being able to lift the detergent. I mean, I can help with the use of my now almost good as new arm, but it’s pretty funny to go downstairs and see him standing in a sticky pool of spilled soap. The first time it was cute, the second and third time though have made me debate whether he has any upper arm muscle whatsoever.

“What?” I yell back.

“Shut up,” comes Mikey’s voice from upstairs.

“Make me, toothpick!” I yell back at Mikey.

“What?” Gerard asks.

“Not you, I was talking to Mikey!”

“What?” Mikey asks.

“Oh go away Mikey,” I yell, then decide that communicating three screaming between three floors isn’t the most efficient way to talk, so I walk over to the steps to the basement and come upon Gerard looking very confused by the old washing machine.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I think I broke it,” he says frowning.

“Did you try kicking it?”

“What’s domestic violence of inanimate objects going to do?” Gerard asks.

“Dunno, might give it a jump start or something?” I say. I don’t know anything about anything, so I’m just spouting off the first thing that comes to my mind.

“Or you could break it more,” Gerard says.

“How? I don’t know shit about washers maybe it needs some incentive to get its butt moving,” I say.

“You’re talking about physically abusing a lifeless object,” Gerard says, “is your mental stability still intact?”

“Just give it a good kick. I don’t know?” I tell him, “Picture Banks’ face on the side.”

Gerard shrugs and then gives the machine a half-assed kick that really wouldn’t even injury baby.

“What the hell was that? You might as well ask it nicely to please start working again,” I say, and Gerard frowns like he’s reluctant to put more force into it.

“I’ll do it,” I say, trying not to laugh at him, and then I give it a pretty good whack. The machine stutters slowly and then circles into life, making me smile at Gerard stupidly.

“I fixed it!” I say proudly.

“What would I do without you?” he says mockingly.

“Probably have fewer dented appliances,” I respond.

“Mhm,” Gerard agrees, but he smiles and walks over to me anyway. He puts his arms around my neck and looks down at me with his beautiful eyes, that are a little hard to see in the dark basement, but they glimmer somehow anyway.

“Is that all you needed?” I ask, but I really like the way he’s gotten so close to me so that I can feel the air leaving his mouth. He smells like coffee but what else is new?

“Just one more thing. Do you know what tomorrow is?” Gerard asks.

“As I recall tomorrow would mark six months of knowing you,” I say.

“Yep,” he says.

“So what’re you thinking?” I ask him, biting my lip.

“I haven’t decided yet. Something special.”

“I’d agree with that,” I say, “but what?”

Gerard slouches down slightly to put his head on my shoulder, and I feel his nose tickling the side of my neck. I also get the feeling of his eyelashes blinking a few times on my skin which makes me heart flutter.

“What do normal couples do? Couples who haven’t been exiled to the middle of nowhere along with an annoying little brother.”

“Uh, dinner?” I suggest, “Sex, but I don’t think we really need an excuse for that.”

“Ugh, Mikey’s going to be here,” Gerard pulls his head back up to make a face.

“Yeah, that is unfortunate,” I say wrinkling my nose, “but we’ve never really let that get in the way before have we?”

“I’ll just tell him to watch a loud movie,” Gerard shrugs.

“So dinner?” I ask.

“Yeah we can do dinner tomorrow. Nearest fancy restaurant is an hour away though. We’ll make it work,” he says with a shrug.

“As long as you’re there it’s okay.”

“I’m really sorry that this is getting in the way of us or whatever. This whole arrangement isn’t exactly ideal, but-”

“It’s fine.”

“Good,” Gerard says and he stares at me for a long time and I can actually tell that he’s having one of those nirvana moments where he realizes how happy he is with our relationship, or more specifically, me. I get them all the time, mostly feeling my heart stumble because it starts to realize that Gerard is all I’ve ever been searching for. Now I’ve found him it makes contentment so much more accessible.

“I love you,” he whispers before pressing his forehead to mine, and I know how he feels because I am right there with him.