The Enigma’s Anomaly

“Hold on you recorded it?” Gerard asks after hopping into the car. He grabbed whatever he could from our hotel room in one go, but we can’t even afford to waste the amount of time it’d take to check out. That’s not a good lesson for kids, don’t do that, it’s not smart. Buy my book: Obvious Life Tips That You’d Have Probably Been Able to Figure out Yourself by Frank Iero.

“Yes, but that’s not going to completely cut it, Gerard.”

“What do you mean? We have proof that he’s a murderer. That’s gotta mean something.”

“Yes, it does mean something, but it doesn’t mean we’ve won yet,” I tell him, “see what we now have is something to even the playing field, but you’ve got to understand, that if we tell Banks that we’re going to hand what we know over to the police, then he’s going to have absolutely no reason to keep Mikey alive.”

“What? Yes he does!” Gerard says.

“No, Gerard. He doesn’t. Banks is looking at the needle where he stands. If I turn over the evidence I have against him there’s a chance that he’s going to be put to death, so one more body is not going to do anything to worsen his arrangement. Killing Mikey isn’t going to make him any more or less likely to get the short end of the stick. He’s basically got nothing to lose unless we can bargain with him.”

“Bargain with him? What do you mean by bargaining with him?” Gerard asks, exasperatedly, as I pull us onto the highway. I don’t actually know where we’re going to go, but away from here is a good start.

“I mean exactly that. We have to strike a deal. One way or another we have to save Mikey, but Banks isn’t an idiot. He’s going to know that this is going to be the biggest negotiation of his life. We have a balanced weight on both of our sides. On the one hand, we have proof enough that could get Banks to go to jail for the rest of his life, if he’s lucky. On the other hand he has your brother. If we turn over what we know to the police, Mikey is dead, without a second thought. To get Mikey back we’re going to have to hand over something else that will keep the playing field on even ground, and he’s going to likely ask for the recording, but he knows that we’re going to have a backup copy.”

Gerard nods, trying to understand it all, “so if he knows we have a backup copy that we can turn over at any time, then what’s stopping him from killing Mikey right now. If he knows there’s no way for him to really win, then why does he keep himself playing?”

“Because he’s waiting to see what we option off for the deal. We have a balanced weight, but it is still leaning in favor of us. What we need to do is find ground that is agreeable to both parties. We need to insure Banks’ safety, while also letting him feel like it’s an even enough trade. I don’t know what we have to offer him yet though. If Banks so much as senses disloyalty on our part, Mikey’s neck will be snapped.”

“So what do we do then?”

“Well that’s the question of the hour isn’t it? We’re winning, marginally, but because of the fact that we are winning, Banks is the actual winner.”

“You’ve lost me,” Gerard says.

“Well we have waterproof evidence against Banks, and he knows that now. We have a recording of his confession to several murders, as well as a kidnapping. Because of the fact that we have that, and are currently winning, Banks is, by default, the ultimate winner. He knows that what we have is better than what he has, so he has no real reason other than curiosity to keep Mikey alive. If he decides that we’re untrustworthy, which is his most likely brain process, then he’s going to just kill Mikey and settle with a life in jail. If by some means, he manages to find an ounce of humanity in his head, then he’ll realize that we care more about getting Mikey back then we do about getting him arrested.”

“But I do care about getting Banks arrested, Frank! I really do. He’ll do this to other people and it’ll be my fault in the end.”

“But do you care enough about getting him arrested to lose Mikey forever,” I ask, knowing his answer before he even says it.

“No, you’re right. I care more about Mikey.”

“Exactly, and Banks might not understand that. In the end, if he hands over Mikey, the ball will be in our court for the rest of Banks’ life. We will always be able to hang it over his head that we have something against him. For this we’re going to have to ask for some sort of monthly commission. Banks doesn’t understand human empathy the way you or I do. He’s not going to understand that Mikey’s life is payment enough for us to keep quiet. He doesn’t have that level of emotion in his brain. What he does understand, however, is greed. He thinks that all people care about his money, so he’s more likely to believe that we won’t hand over the recording to the police if he pays us.”

“But we don’t need money, Frank.”

“Yes, I understand that. You understand that, but Banks? He doesn’t understand that. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be a human whose primary function isn’t to earn money. You have to put yourself into his twisted little mind. He doesn’t understand relationships, so asking for money is the most likely way we’ll be able to win this game. Even then, it’s not likely.”

“Not likely? So you think he’s going to kill Mikey either way?”

“I think we are at least in a better position than we were a little while ago, but it’s at the cost of your brother’s life,” I tell him, “if we didn’t have this proof, then he’d have killed Mikey, you and me. Since we have this though, it’s just Mikey.”

Gerard makes a stuttering sound that sounds like a breath, and asks, “So what do you think the odds are that Mikey is going to live?”

“Honestly? Considering the variables, Gerard, it’s not looking good.”

Gerard sniffles, and I don’t look at him for his own privacy.

“I just don’t know what to do, Gerard,” I confess. “I’m doing my best, you have to know that, because I’m really trying.”

“No, I know. It just sucks. It really sucks. I hate all of this. All this shit, I wish it had never happened.”

“I know you do, I know. I’m so sorry it all had to come to this,” I say.

“I wish it weren’t Mikey though. I wish it were me instead, Frank. It’s all my fault anyway. Banks wants me dead. Me. Not Mikey.”

“Don’t say that. I don’t want Mikey dead any more than you do, but it is what it is, Gerard. You can’t change what’s happening. You just have to accept it for now.”

“But you agree, right Frank? You know that-”

“No Gerard. You don’t deserve to die. Mikey doesn’t deserve to die, and you do not deserve to die either. Got that?”

“But this is my fault, and you know that. I got everyone roped into this because I’m such a damn fuckup,” he says.

“We’ve had this conversation before, Gerard. I do not think you should be blaming yourself. I don’t blame you, and I’m sure Mikey doesn’t blame you.”

“Fra-”

“No Gerard! I am not going to let you fucking blame yourself. Got that? I’m not going to blame you, and you shouldn’t do that to yourself.”

Gerard makes a grumbling sound, and I sigh, turning the car to the side of the road until we come to a stop. We halt beneath a lone tree standing out in the middle of a desolate landscape near the highway.

“Why are we pulling over?” Gerard asks.

“Because you’re pissing me off, Gerard. You are not to blame. You are a good fucking person! You are a good person who made a mistake and did something bad, but that does not mean that you are a bad person, okay? I’m a bad person, Gerard. That’s the difference between you and I. You don’t deserve to be so hard on yourself, because you’re not like me. You’ve never killed anyone.”

“I’ve indirectly killed people, Frank. That police officer, Officer Roland. That was my fault,” Gerard says.

“Not really, and he was a bad person anyway. Gerard, you’ve never looked into a little magnifying glass trained on a person’s heart. You’ve never felt your finger squeeze the trigger of a gun, and you’ve never had to live with the fact that you’re a murderer. You’re not a bad person, Gerard.”

“I don’t think you are either,” he says with a quiet voice, “you tried to kill me, so I of all people, should have a very powerful opinion. What I think matters a lot, and I don’t think you’re a bad person at all, Frankie.”

“God, Gerard,” I sigh, shaking my head, “I really hate how much I love you.”

“Things suck right now, Frankie. I’m really glad I’ve got you to get me through this.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes thinking, and I’m just listening to Gerard breathe.

“I’m not going to let him die, Gerard. I won’t let him kill Mikey. Not for anything in the world,” I say, and I mean it. If it has to be done, I’ll die myself in Mikey’s place. I’m just not going to let Gerard lose his brother.