Status: updated whenever I can!
Please Come Home For Christmas
Part Two
I heard a faint steady beeping in the distance and groaned, growing incredibly annoyed with it. Thinking it was my alarm clock, I tried to lift my arm to shut it off but couldn’t muster up the strength to do it. I opened my eyes and was blinded by the fluorescent lighting in the room. ‘Where am I?’ I thought to myself. ‘What am I doing here?’ I tried to sit up but and look around the room, but a strong tattooed arm pushed me back down gently. Looking over to the side of the bed I saw Jaime sitting there, a chair pulled up next to me as close as he could get it.
“Don’t sit up, I don’t want you to hurt yourself even more.” He said, his voice deep and rough, but I could also detect a tone of remorse in his sentence. I looked him over and saw that he looked like a complete wreck; his eyes were rimmed red, his hair was tussled in every direction, and I was pretty sure I saw a few bruises on his knuckles.
“Where are we Jaime, what happened?” I whispered, my voice hoarse. All of my memories were a blur, the last thing I could remember was arguing with Jaime in the kitchen. Everything after that was a haze.
“You were in an accident last night…” He said quietly, avoiding eye contact with me. I looked down at my body for the first time since I woke up and gasped at the sight. My right leg and right arm were both in casts; the cast on my leg reached up to my thigh. My left arm was heavily bandaged, including my hand. I lifted my hand shakily and pulled the blanket back from my chest and lifted up the hem of the hospital gown. I had scratches and bruises everywhere, there was hardly an inch of my skin that wasn’t injured in some way. I stared at my body hard and I could feel myself holding my breath. Jaime pulled my gown back down, careful not to touch my skin.
I tore my gaze away from my body and looked at him. He was sitting there with his head in hands, the chair as close to my bed as it could get, but he made sure that he wasn’t touching me in any way. I brushed the top of his head gently with my fingers poking through the cast and he lifted his head slowly, still avoiding eye contact.
“I can’t remember anything, Jaime…” I said sadly. “The last thing I remember…. is…” I thought hard, trying to remember the last thing I could. I had a faint memory of pulling out some Christmas decorations to decorate with, but the last thing I could really remember was falling asleep on the couch. “The last thing I can remember is falling asleep on the couch.” He let out a sad sigh and looked at me, with his red rimmed eyes. I noticed that even though he was making eye contact with me, he didn’t seem to be looking at me at all.
Jaime took a shaky breath before speaking. “Last night I went out for drinks with Tony, and I… I missed decorating for Christmas with you. I came home late, and I came home drunk. You were asleep when I got home, but I woke you up stumbling through the house.” He looked away from me and down to his feet, taking another shaky breath. “We got into a fight, and during it you broke one of the water glasses and cut your hand.” He motioned towards my heavily bandaged left hand. “I said some things I didn’t mean, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean… and it pissed you off. You grabbed your keys and stormed out of the apartment, hopping in your car and driving away from me.” I slowly began to remember the events that happened while he told me, and tears welled up in my eyes. “I stayed there and didn’t go after you… I should’ve gone after you…” I grabbed his hand with my fingers and give it a soft squeeze, trying to give him some small sign of comfort. He looked me in the eyes and moved his hand away from my fingers and up to my face, brushing my tangled hair away and left his hand there to linger lightly. “The accident wasn’t your fault, a drunk driver hit you and flipped your car twice. The other driver walked away without a single bruise or scrape, but you…” He trailed off from his sentence and looked up and down my body, tears welling up in his eyes. “I should’ve never let you walk out that door. None of this would’ve happened if I just wouldn’t have let you go. This is all my fault…” He said the last part almost inaudibly; I was barely able to catch it. A few tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and he wiped them away immediately, pulling his hand away from my face, leaving me to crave his touch after it was gone.
A mixture of emotions ran through me as I remembered more and more. I could feel the anger I felt last night return, but it was dwarfed by the sadness and remorse I felt watching him sit there and cry over my body. “Jaime, baby…” I began, but was interrupted by a doctor and nurse walking into my room. Jaime pulled away from my bed and stood up to face the doctor.
“You’re awake, fantastic!” The doctor said through a thick British accent and placed himself at the foot of my bed. He picked up the clipboard that was pinned to my bed and jotted some stuff down. We waited in silence while he finished up scribbling on the clipboard. He pinned the clipboard back to the bed and walked over to my side, playing with my IV bags as he began to talk. “Have you been made aware yet of why you’re in the hospital?” I nodded my head slowly when he looked over at me, his eyebrows raised. The doctor continued “There was a clean break in your right arm and shouldn’t be a problem to heal up, give it a few months and it should be right back to normal. Your leg, on the other hand, might be a problem. The bones are completely shattered and will take quite a while to mend. It will take a few months for it to heal enough where we’re able to perform surgery, and after that you’ll more than likely need to attend physical therapy and relearn how to walk on it.” Jaime sat back down in the chair and placed his head back in his hands as the doctor stopped to gauge my reaction. I was speechless, and honestly I had no idea what to even think. I looked up at the doctor, wide eyed and speechless.
“Until the cast is removed on your arm, you’ll need to use a wheelchair to get around. The hospital will provide you with one since it’s covered under your insurance. Once the cast is removed from your arm, it’ll be okay for you to move to using crutches, as long as your arm is strong enough to support your body. You should be good to go home today as soon as you’re feeling up to it. The nurse will wheel you out to the parking lot when you’re ready, and from there I think you’re in capable hands. Your boyfriend here hasn’t left your side once, he seems pretty reliable.” The doctor gave me a small smile and walked back out of the room, leaving us alone with the nurse that he came in with.
She began to unhook the IV’s from the machine and withdraw the needles that were in my arm. She finished up quickly, obviously feeling awkward at the silence that filled the room. “I’m going to leave you to get dressed; your boyfriend has your clothes and can help you get them on. I’ll be right back with your wheelchair so we can get ready to check you out.” She said quietly before leaving the room.
I sat up and Jaime lifted his head as I did, once again looking at me, but not seeming to actually see me. He stood up from the chair and pushed back the blankets that covered my lap. He pushed me forward gently, untying my hospital gown and letting it slide down my body slowly. He avoided looking at my body like a shy little boy, instead focusing intently on removing my hospital gown. Jaime reached into a backpack next to the chair he was sitting in and pulled out one of his t-shirts and basketball shorts, both large enough and easy to pull over both of my casts. He slid the shorts up my legs quickly and helped me to pull the shirt over my head. The nurse knocked on the door and walked in a few minutes after I was dressed.
"Mr. Preciado, would you like to help her into the wheelchair?" He nodded to her curtly and without a word, Jaime easily scooped me up and swiftly carried me to the chair, setting me down gently. He gathered up the rest of our stuff and went to pull his car around as I filled out the paperwork to check out. A few minutes later I was on my way out of the hospital. Jaime jumped out of the car and quickly jogged over to where I was sitting, again scooping me up and this time setting me in the car. After grabbing the wheelchair from the nurse, he placed it in the trunk of his SUV and hopped back in the driver’s seat, pushing the car into gear and taking off back towards our apartment.
The car ride was completely quiet, you could slide a knife through the awkward silence that filled the air. Soon enough we arrived home and I felt relief enter my body immediately as he parked the car. For the first time since the hospital, Jaime spoke, muttering a few words.
"Do you want me to carry you up to the apartment?" He said quietly, avoiding eye contact again and instead choosing to focus on the steering wheel.
"If you wouldn’t mind…" I whispered back at him. “I would do anything to feel your body close to mine.” He finally made eye contact with me, and for that split second we did, my heart stopped. In his eyes I saw nothing but guilt, and seeing that broke my heart in two. He looked away quickly, opening the door and getting out of the car, seeming to ignore the last part of what I said.
He opened my door and scooped me up again, carrying me inside the building and up the elevator to our floor. I opened the door for him from his arm and he carried me inside. I looked around the living room while he turned to close the door, and I saw it completely decorated. The broken figurines were cleaned up and all the ornaments were placed on the tree. A garland was setting on top of the mantle above our fireplace, where our stockings also hung. Before I could look around much longer, he carried me down the hall and to our bedroom. He set me down on the bed gently, not letting his touch linger on my skin as I would’ve liked it to. I was craving him, and everything about him; his smell, his warmth, his touch. At this point, I just wanted him to look at me, to actually see me and notice me. He turned to walk out of the room without saying anything, but I grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him back to me.
"Jaime, don’t go. Stay here, with me. I just want to be with you. I love you Jaime, I love you so much." I said, choking back a sob and trying to hold back my tears. His face sank and he finally looked at me and saw me. I could still the guilt reflected in his eyes, but this time I saw much more than that. I saw heartbreak and sadness, and I knew at that point that he wasn’t going to stay. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach and I felt like being sick.
"I can’t stay… I have to go pick some things up from the pharmacy for you. Vic’s on his way over though to watch you while I’m gone. If anything happens, just call me or Vic if he’s not here yet. I’ll be back soon.” He said, his voice completely even. Jaime pulled my hand off of his wrist and gave it a gently kiss before setting it back on the bed and walking to the bedroom door. He stopped for a second and looked back at me. “I love you too.” He said quietly, and with that he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I heard the front door shut a few seconds later, and as soon as it did, I let all of the tears go that I had been holding back since the moment we left the hospital.
The throbbing pain in my arm and my leg didn’t compare to the pain that I felt in my heart at this moment
“Don’t sit up, I don’t want you to hurt yourself even more.” He said, his voice deep and rough, but I could also detect a tone of remorse in his sentence. I looked him over and saw that he looked like a complete wreck; his eyes were rimmed red, his hair was tussled in every direction, and I was pretty sure I saw a few bruises on his knuckles.
“Where are we Jaime, what happened?” I whispered, my voice hoarse. All of my memories were a blur, the last thing I could remember was arguing with Jaime in the kitchen. Everything after that was a haze.
“You were in an accident last night…” He said quietly, avoiding eye contact with me. I looked down at my body for the first time since I woke up and gasped at the sight. My right leg and right arm were both in casts; the cast on my leg reached up to my thigh. My left arm was heavily bandaged, including my hand. I lifted my hand shakily and pulled the blanket back from my chest and lifted up the hem of the hospital gown. I had scratches and bruises everywhere, there was hardly an inch of my skin that wasn’t injured in some way. I stared at my body hard and I could feel myself holding my breath. Jaime pulled my gown back down, careful not to touch my skin.
I tore my gaze away from my body and looked at him. He was sitting there with his head in hands, the chair as close to my bed as it could get, but he made sure that he wasn’t touching me in any way. I brushed the top of his head gently with my fingers poking through the cast and he lifted his head slowly, still avoiding eye contact.
“I can’t remember anything, Jaime…” I said sadly. “The last thing I remember…. is…” I thought hard, trying to remember the last thing I could. I had a faint memory of pulling out some Christmas decorations to decorate with, but the last thing I could really remember was falling asleep on the couch. “The last thing I can remember is falling asleep on the couch.” He let out a sad sigh and looked at me, with his red rimmed eyes. I noticed that even though he was making eye contact with me, he didn’t seem to be looking at me at all.
Jaime took a shaky breath before speaking. “Last night I went out for drinks with Tony, and I… I missed decorating for Christmas with you. I came home late, and I came home drunk. You were asleep when I got home, but I woke you up stumbling through the house.” He looked away from me and down to his feet, taking another shaky breath. “We got into a fight, and during it you broke one of the water glasses and cut your hand.” He motioned towards my heavily bandaged left hand. “I said some things I didn’t mean, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean… and it pissed you off. You grabbed your keys and stormed out of the apartment, hopping in your car and driving away from me.” I slowly began to remember the events that happened while he told me, and tears welled up in my eyes. “I stayed there and didn’t go after you… I should’ve gone after you…” I grabbed his hand with my fingers and give it a soft squeeze, trying to give him some small sign of comfort. He looked me in the eyes and moved his hand away from my fingers and up to my face, brushing my tangled hair away and left his hand there to linger lightly. “The accident wasn’t your fault, a drunk driver hit you and flipped your car twice. The other driver walked away without a single bruise or scrape, but you…” He trailed off from his sentence and looked up and down my body, tears welling up in his eyes. “I should’ve never let you walk out that door. None of this would’ve happened if I just wouldn’t have let you go. This is all my fault…” He said the last part almost inaudibly; I was barely able to catch it. A few tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and he wiped them away immediately, pulling his hand away from my face, leaving me to crave his touch after it was gone.
A mixture of emotions ran through me as I remembered more and more. I could feel the anger I felt last night return, but it was dwarfed by the sadness and remorse I felt watching him sit there and cry over my body. “Jaime, baby…” I began, but was interrupted by a doctor and nurse walking into my room. Jaime pulled away from my bed and stood up to face the doctor.
“You’re awake, fantastic!” The doctor said through a thick British accent and placed himself at the foot of my bed. He picked up the clipboard that was pinned to my bed and jotted some stuff down. We waited in silence while he finished up scribbling on the clipboard. He pinned the clipboard back to the bed and walked over to my side, playing with my IV bags as he began to talk. “Have you been made aware yet of why you’re in the hospital?” I nodded my head slowly when he looked over at me, his eyebrows raised. The doctor continued “There was a clean break in your right arm and shouldn’t be a problem to heal up, give it a few months and it should be right back to normal. Your leg, on the other hand, might be a problem. The bones are completely shattered and will take quite a while to mend. It will take a few months for it to heal enough where we’re able to perform surgery, and after that you’ll more than likely need to attend physical therapy and relearn how to walk on it.” Jaime sat back down in the chair and placed his head back in his hands as the doctor stopped to gauge my reaction. I was speechless, and honestly I had no idea what to even think. I looked up at the doctor, wide eyed and speechless.
“Until the cast is removed on your arm, you’ll need to use a wheelchair to get around. The hospital will provide you with one since it’s covered under your insurance. Once the cast is removed from your arm, it’ll be okay for you to move to using crutches, as long as your arm is strong enough to support your body. You should be good to go home today as soon as you’re feeling up to it. The nurse will wheel you out to the parking lot when you’re ready, and from there I think you’re in capable hands. Your boyfriend here hasn’t left your side once, he seems pretty reliable.” The doctor gave me a small smile and walked back out of the room, leaving us alone with the nurse that he came in with.
She began to unhook the IV’s from the machine and withdraw the needles that were in my arm. She finished up quickly, obviously feeling awkward at the silence that filled the room. “I’m going to leave you to get dressed; your boyfriend has your clothes and can help you get them on. I’ll be right back with your wheelchair so we can get ready to check you out.” She said quietly before leaving the room.
I sat up and Jaime lifted his head as I did, once again looking at me, but not seeming to actually see me. He stood up from the chair and pushed back the blankets that covered my lap. He pushed me forward gently, untying my hospital gown and letting it slide down my body slowly. He avoided looking at my body like a shy little boy, instead focusing intently on removing my hospital gown. Jaime reached into a backpack next to the chair he was sitting in and pulled out one of his t-shirts and basketball shorts, both large enough and easy to pull over both of my casts. He slid the shorts up my legs quickly and helped me to pull the shirt over my head. The nurse knocked on the door and walked in a few minutes after I was dressed.
"Mr. Preciado, would you like to help her into the wheelchair?" He nodded to her curtly and without a word, Jaime easily scooped me up and swiftly carried me to the chair, setting me down gently. He gathered up the rest of our stuff and went to pull his car around as I filled out the paperwork to check out. A few minutes later I was on my way out of the hospital. Jaime jumped out of the car and quickly jogged over to where I was sitting, again scooping me up and this time setting me in the car. After grabbing the wheelchair from the nurse, he placed it in the trunk of his SUV and hopped back in the driver’s seat, pushing the car into gear and taking off back towards our apartment.
The car ride was completely quiet, you could slide a knife through the awkward silence that filled the air. Soon enough we arrived home and I felt relief enter my body immediately as he parked the car. For the first time since the hospital, Jaime spoke, muttering a few words.
"Do you want me to carry you up to the apartment?" He said quietly, avoiding eye contact again and instead choosing to focus on the steering wheel.
"If you wouldn’t mind…" I whispered back at him. “I would do anything to feel your body close to mine.” He finally made eye contact with me, and for that split second we did, my heart stopped. In his eyes I saw nothing but guilt, and seeing that broke my heart in two. He looked away quickly, opening the door and getting out of the car, seeming to ignore the last part of what I said.
He opened my door and scooped me up again, carrying me inside the building and up the elevator to our floor. I opened the door for him from his arm and he carried me inside. I looked around the living room while he turned to close the door, and I saw it completely decorated. The broken figurines were cleaned up and all the ornaments were placed on the tree. A garland was setting on top of the mantle above our fireplace, where our stockings also hung. Before I could look around much longer, he carried me down the hall and to our bedroom. He set me down on the bed gently, not letting his touch linger on my skin as I would’ve liked it to. I was craving him, and everything about him; his smell, his warmth, his touch. At this point, I just wanted him to look at me, to actually see me and notice me. He turned to walk out of the room without saying anything, but I grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him back to me.
"Jaime, don’t go. Stay here, with me. I just want to be with you. I love you Jaime, I love you so much." I said, choking back a sob and trying to hold back my tears. His face sank and he finally looked at me and saw me. I could still the guilt reflected in his eyes, but this time I saw much more than that. I saw heartbreak and sadness, and I knew at that point that he wasn’t going to stay. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach and I felt like being sick.
"I can’t stay… I have to go pick some things up from the pharmacy for you. Vic’s on his way over though to watch you while I’m gone. If anything happens, just call me or Vic if he’s not here yet. I’ll be back soon.” He said, his voice completely even. Jaime pulled my hand off of his wrist and gave it a gently kiss before setting it back on the bed and walking to the bedroom door. He stopped for a second and looked back at me. “I love you too.” He said quietly, and with that he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I heard the front door shut a few seconds later, and as soon as it did, I let all of the tears go that I had been holding back since the moment we left the hospital.
The throbbing pain in my arm and my leg didn’t compare to the pain that I felt in my heart at this moment