Black Roses

Time was a cruel mistress. Life goes on… with or without Rose. She was gone. With Rose gone, time seemed to stand still around Daryl. There was a distinct, awful pain that comes with loving someone more than she love him. Daryl longed to find himself mesmerized in those multi-colored eyes. One blue. One green. He found himself looking for that familiar burst of red out of the corners of his eyes. Where she used to be, there’s a hole in the world, which Daryl found himself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. He’d go to that last cell on the second floor away from everybody where she used to stay in. The only traces of her was the smell of rain and wet earth but that was fading. She was gone.

Rick had officially gone off the deep end and with Rose gone, Daryl had to step up to the plate. The entire group were looking to him for guidance. But he wasn’t the leader type. He was more so the muscle/goon type. So he just decided to continue Rose’s orders and advised the group to give Rick some space. Hell… Daryl ain’t doing too hot himself and Rose haven’t even died. Well… as far as he knows. Hershel, on the other hand, decided to do his own things and go talk to Rick which was fine with Daryl.

The group were still looking for Carol and T-Dog and cleaning out the prison. Maggie and Glenn went out on a run to a nearby supermarket. So Daryl took Carl and Oscar with him as they ventured in the lower levels of the prison. Carl seemed quieter than usual and Daryl knew why. The kid’s mother just died and his dad is too busy calling imaginary people. The one role model that Carl looked up to was also gone with absolute no words.

“You know… my mom, she liked her wine. She liked to smoke in bed. Virginia Slims,” Daryl paused to throw a glance at the younger boy next to him. “I was out playing with the kids in the neighborhood. I could do that with Merle gone. They had bikes, I didn’t. We heard sirens getting louder. They jumped on their bikes. Ran after it. You know… hoping to see something worth seeing. I ran after them, but I couldn’t keep up. I ran around a corner and saw my friends looking at me.”

Carl glanced, intently listening to the redneck. Daryl continued, “Hell, I saw everybody looking at me. Fire trucks everywhere. People from the neighborhood. It was my house they were there for. It was my mom in bed burnt down to nothing. That was the hard part. You know, she was just gone. Erased. Nothing left of her. People said it was better that way.”

“I don’t know.” Carl shrugged.

Daryl returned the shrug, “Just made it seem like it wasn’t real, you know?”

“I shot my mom. She was out. Hadn’t turned yet. I ended it. It was real.” Carl said in a monotone voice, almost reminding Daryl of Rose.

“Sorry about your mom.” Daryl sheepishly spoke, unsure how to comfort the young boy.

Carl met Daryl’s gaze, “I’m sorry about yours.”

Daryl grinned and gestured for them to continue down the corridors. After a short while, a walker came upon them. It was almost second nature as Daryl shot the walker with his crossbow and did his ritual of receiving the arrows back. Suddenly a glimmer caught his eye.

It was a knife. Carol’s knife. Daryl’s throat felt constricted as he saw that knife. It was just damn frustrating. Why couldn’t Carol just stay with the group? CAROL! The one that he’s been with all along before all this Rick and Rose bullshit. Grabbing the knife, he began to mercilessly attack the walls and the floor out of anger. It was all becoming too much for him. How the hell did he put himself in this position? If Merle saw him like this, he’d be ridiculed. After blowing off some steam, he collapsed, sliding down the wall and sat down.

Wait. A door was budged slightly open… perhaps he should check for walkers. The door revealed a weakened, but alive, Carol inside the room. His heart skipped a beat. Perhaps things were turning around for him. Maybe Rose would come back. Maybe Rick would take up his leadership position again. Oh Carol! He scooped the older woman into his arms, rushing back to Oscar and Carl. Daryl needed to take Carol to Hershel. Back in Cell Block C, Beth was tending to the fussy baby. The baby had been fussy nonstop since Rose left. Maggie and Glenn has not arrived yet. And Rick is still off in the looney bin.

Daryl gingerly placed Carol back onto her bed as Hershel made his way over with a crutch under his arm. “Is she bit?”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Daryl spoke, knowing that he have been meaning to talk to Hershel about Rose. The doctor was the last person to talk to Rose and Daryl wanted to know what she said… or what he said. But he just haven’t been able to find the time. Hershel assessed the woman and declared that she was healthy but was just dehydrated. Daryl stepped out of Carol’s cell, leaning onto the wall, waiting for Hershel to come out.

“I know what you want to talk about,” Hershel’s southern drawl was evident as he gestured for Daryl to come toward the dining area. “You wanted to talk about Rose?”

“Why did she leave?” Daryl questioned.

“Maybe some girls are not meant to be tamed Daryl.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“She’s like a black rose. Have you ever seen or held a black rose? If you held one… it’d crumble to dust. It wasn’t right for us to try pressuring her to stay here with us.”

“But I love her. My heart won’t let her go. I could’ve gone with her.” Daryl protested.

“Daryl. She’s as damned as she seems. You could’ve gone with her. Could’ve tried to save her. Could’ve tried to change her. She’s a beautiful disaster. A tragedy with more damage than a soul should see. But in the end, you’ll destroy her.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I assure you that Rose wouldn’t go far. She is rather attached to our young ones and perhaps you,” Hershel leaned in, “Because I once had a black rose. The prettiest rose in Georgia back then. But I held on her so tightly that I practically drove myself to drink. God… she was a beautiful disaster.”