You Found Me

Never in my whole life had I imagined John to be the one waking me up in the morning.

Every single day it's been me banging on his door or trying to pull him out of bed. One time during that summer that he kept waking up in the afternoon, my parents and I teamed up to get him out of bed and boy, was getting John out of the bed when he felt like sleeping the most impossible task ever. A few times had resulted into me spraying him cold water or me promising to buy him food after school. So if John doesn't feel like he wants to be helpful to you, he will not get up when you tell him to do so.

So you could imagine my face when John was trying to wake me up by messing my hair up. I almost crapped my pants, in all honesty, because when I checked my phone, it was 6 in the morning and it was a Sunday.

"Oh my God, what's happening? Is the house on fire?" I rubbed my eyes and hopped out of bed, looking around the room. Everything seemed to be in place and there were no drastic screams coming from out my door or my window. Any natural disaster event was out of the picture.

John scrunched his eyebrows together and stared at me. "No. The whole town got together. We can't take your morning breath anymore."

I rubbed my eyes again and patted my cheeks slightly to wake myself. Only after did I notice that John was already in jeans and a white v-neck with his hair wet. He probably just stepped out of the shower.

"Do we have school today?" I asked, eyeing him curiously.

"No," he answered immediately, shaking his head. "Me and Mom are going to do grocery shopping. Dad's off to work. I'll be back in several hours since Mom's going to work right after."

"How'd she get you to wake up?"

"She said no Daisy for two months," he shrugged, making me break out into a sleepy smile. "So do you want anything because we're going to go now."

"Toiletries. Just tell Mom that I need them. She knows what they are," I said, lying back down on the bed. "What time are you coming back?"

"Probably around 10 or earlier. I still have to drop Mom off to work." And with that, he turned to go out of the room, leaving me to my room alone again. I yawned, realizing that I haven't gotten much sleep last night either because of the 10 page written report I had to do last night for English. For the first time, I turned the band's offer down to go out at a Saturday night and let me tell you, it was nowhere near easy trying to convince them that I needed to stay home and finish it.

I decided to go sleep for a few more hours just to rest more and to know why John always wanted to sleep in in the morning.

***

I woke up with the sound of my phone vibrating against my bedside table so I reached for the phone and didn't even bother looking at the caller ID and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Did you just wake up?" The familiar voice of the red head said through the other line, making me groan. "That's new."

"What do you want, Jared?" I mumbled, closing my eyes due to the light coming from the window.

"We were going to have band practice over at Pat's. Then just hang afterwards."

"Don't you guys ever get tired of each other's faces?" I muttered into the phone. I heard Jared laugh and I just rolled my eyes. "Fine. What time?"

"The others are coming over at 11. Me and Garrett have something to pick up so we'll be a little late."

"Okay, I'll be there at 11," I said sleepily, before throwing the phone on the sheets. I now understood why John liked sleeping so long. I didn't want to get off of my bed and I wanted to just dig deeper through my sheets and get comfortable. Sadly, when I looked over to the clock, I saw that it was already 10:17 and if I was going to make it there by 11, I had to drag my lazy ass off of my bed.

I shuffled across the hall to get to the bathroom and threw my clothes on the floor, stepping in the shower. The sleepiness was washed away from me as the cold water hit my skin, making me shudder. When I realized that I still didn't have toiletries, I groaned and stepped out, wrapping a towel around my body.

Since it was already past 10, I tried yelling just to see if John was home from the grocery. "John! Are you home? I need my stuff!" When he didn't respond, I decided to go down the stairs to see if he really was home. I kept calling but he didn't answer. "John, I'm freaking wet and if you don't give me my-"

I was about to yell a few indecent things at him when I met a pair of surprised blue eyes in the living room, staring back at me like he's seen some ghost. My jaw dropped to the ground and I gripped on my towel so hard that I was pretty sure my knuckles were going to turn white soon. I rushed down to the stairs and put my finger on my lips as a sign for him not to say anything.

"March?" Garrett said, his mouth agape. He looked too confused that it made me hate myself. "What are you doing at John's... Are you-"

"Garrett. Be quiet for a moment." I shushed him but he kept whispering curses and questions. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? You're asking me? What are you doing here? And without any clothes. Did you and John-" He started, but then his eyes widened so much that it just made me shake my head so much because I already knew what he was thinking. "Oh my God, you and John?"

"Fuck, Garrett. No," I shook my head. I took a peek to the kitchen and saw that John was staring at Jared like he just grew an extra head.

"I think I heard somebody calling you," Jared said, scrunching his face.

"Really? I didn't hear anything. You're just imagining things," John shook his head. "What do you-"

"No, I swear I could hear someone calling you from upstairs."

I stood beside the door so I'd be hidden the moment he'd open them. Garrett couldn't stop staring at me so I just stared at him, with a finger to my lips, trying to keep him from saying anything. The moment the door opened, I stopped breathing and put my hands on my mouth. I was so sure that there was at least even a little chance that I would get away with hiding behind the door. I couldn't be more wrong.

"The floor's wet," Jared stated, making me curse under my breath.

You could just imagine the look on my face when he pulled the door back, revealing me with my hair wet and a towel around my body. I could see the shock on their faces, even on John's. Garrett still hadn't stopped staring at me but now he looked more mad than confused. Jared looked at me as if I was some kind of UFO and John just put his hand over his face.

It's funny to think about how hard you keep a secret for it to be just exposed just as easy as that. This was one I knew I should've told them earlier just so I could've avoided this situation.

"Are you-" Jared broke the silence, finally shaking it off and pointing at me. "You and John... John, you're hooking up with March?" He turned to John to which John scrunched his eyebrows at him and shook his head. "I thought we all agreed that you aren't to hook up with her?"

"No. Fuck, no," he denied. He looked at me and sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

"You said you didn't have any feelings for her," Garrett glared holes on John's head and spat the words out.

John had a faint smile on his lips but it was obvious he wasn't happy. "If I were you, I'd be careful with my next words if I want to see March ever again," he narrowed his eyes at him and crossed his arms. "March, I'm sorry. I love you, but you can't keep this shit up."

Just like that, the secret I've been hiding for several months had to be revealed. And here I am, regretting that I hid it from them in the first place. They were bound to know anytime soon. It just had to be now while I was dripping wet, naked, and with Jared and Garrett thinking I was hooking up with my brother. This reveal couldn't be more perfect, really.

I nodded at him and he sighed. I guess some part of John really understood me and he got why I didn't tell anyone.

"How clueless can you guys get?" John looked at them with an annoyed expression. "No one ever took her home except for me and Kennedy. You still don't know her last name. Her nickname is OC. For several months, I never invited you home and neither has she. When she leaves, I leave too."

Jared tilted his head and looked at me and John. Garrett... Well, Garrett looked like he just wanted to explode. Or scream at me. Whichever expresses more anger, I think.

"For fuck's sake," John groaned, scratching his head in frustration. "She's my-"

"We're siblings," I said slowly, making John shut up. At least they'd get it straight from my mouth.

There was an awkward silence between us and no one knew what to say. John was staring at me and he smiled slightly when he figured that I was about to burst into tears right now. I couldn't tell what Jared was feeling but I'm pretty sure he didn't think that keeping all of this from them was a good thing.

The thing that made me feel uneasy was I knew what Garrett was feeling. His hands were balled into fists and the anger in his eyes was obvious and he wasn't planning on hiding it. He took one last look at me before tearing his gaze away.

The moment I stepped forward to get to him was the moment he turned around and stormed out the door, banging the door as he went out.

I felt a huge lump in my throat and there were tears threatening to come out of my eyes. I looked down and pressed my lips together to keep them from quivering. I held my arms close to me and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You should finish taking a bath," John said quietly. "I'll bring you your stuff upstairs. Go."

I didn't even bother looking at him or Jared on the way up. I just tried my best to get up as fast as I can without slipping or tripping. But at that moment, I thought accidentally slipping would be better for everyone especially me. I'd slip and fall down the stairs or hit my head on the floor.

I thought hiding my last name would be good for me.

I couldn't be more wrong.

***

The weather matched my mood.

It was 11:23 and it was raining. The sky was dark and I couldn't feel the normal Arizona heat. It wasn't exactly freezing either, but cold enough that I wore John's varsity jacket from playing baseball a couple of years ago. He gave it to me before he left for Arizona and for now, since he's the only person that understands me, he's the only one that I can run to for comfort.

"Are we going to Pat's or not?" John leaned on the door frame with his arms crossed, staring at me sitting on the bed and looking out the window.

"Do you honestly think they'd want to see me right now?" I shot back at him.

"For your information, March, you still need to explain this to them. And you haven't told Daisy and Pat yet. And one of them is your best friend in the world," he went in the room and marched right in front of my bed. "It isn't going to be easy but you have to-"

"Nothing is ever easy because of you, John!" I kneeled up at my bed and stared daggers right at him. "God knows how fucking hard it is to be your sister."

He stood there with his eyes on me as I glowered at him. He blinked a couple of times and he rubbed the side of his face, staring at an empty space. I sighed and sat back on the bed, covering my face with my hands.

I was so mad because I knew it was wrong to blame it on him. I knew it wasn't his fault that he was naturally friendly with everyone. It wasn't his fault that everyone loved him. It definitely wasn't his fault that people wanted to use me to get to him. And I looked at him with a softened expression because I knew that nothing about this was his fault.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly and sighed.

"It's cool," he shrugged. "Now stand up. You're going to have to talk to them about this."

I bit my lip and hesitated to throw my legs off of the bed and get out of my bed. But I did when John gave me a faint smile. The one that always told me everything would be okay even if it was the biggest lie ever. I slipped on a pair of Vans and followed him downstairs where we both ran to his truck because of the rain.

We drove quietly without the radio even playing. The only sound we could hear was the car's engine and the sound of the rain against the roof of the car. I couldn't stop fiddling with the hem of my shirt because I was more than anxious to find out what the rest of them would react when they find what I've been trying to hide from them. But I already assumed that they already know via Garrett or Jared. I was just really hoping they'd let me explain.

I stepped out of John's car and I slowly walked to Pat's house, the rain soaking me entirely. I didn't want to rush because in all honesty, I didn't want to find out immediately what they were going to react. John looked at me in disbelief and motioned for me to walk faster. I made it to the door and John gave me a sad smile before knocking on the door.

John never knocked and he always just went in. But Pat answered the door and he stared at my lanky brother before dragging his gaze to me. His eyes were wide and his mouth was agape, like he didn't know whether he was going to let us in or not. I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to him before he stepped back and held the door open.

"Oh. I'm s-sorry. Come in," he waved his hand and John went inside while I followed. "Do you want a towel?" He looked over at me with a faint smile on his lips.

"I'm good," I nodded quietly, pressing my lips together for a soft smile. My hair was soaking wet because I just took a bath and also partly because I stood under the rain too much. The jacket was wet too and it felt chilly, but I shrugged it off.

I followed the both of them downstairs to the basement and judging by the cars outside, it was safe to say everyone was already there.

Garrett was sitting on the couch with Daisy to his left and Jared hovering over them. Kennedy was sitting at the bottom of the stairs and he stood up when he felt our presence. Pat and John brushed by him and he squeezed my arm when he saw me, flashing me a smile. I tried my best to return it but I already felt the pain in my throat because I wanted to cry.

But I shouldn't, right? Because I was the one that chose not to tell them. And it's blowing up on my face now.

I could feel 5 pairs of eyes watching me. One was staring at something else and glancing at everything or anything except me. I gulped and balled my fists, shoving them inside the pocket of my jacket. I was shaking too much and I just needed something to make me still.

"March Christina O'Callaghan," I mumbled, looking at them one by one. "Our father moved here a year ago and he took John with him. Mom and I followed after."

Daisy crossed his arms and Jared didn't give me a single clue on what he was feeling or thinking. He looked at me blankly. The tension was so thick you could cut if with a knife and the silence made it all worse. Pat sat on the arm rest beside Garrett and Kennedy sat back down the stairs, watching me carefully. John stood beside me and he patted me on the back when I was lost for words.

"He's my brother," I pointed at John with my thumb, biting my lip. "He's a year older than me and we're-"

"Why?" Daisy cut me off, glaring at me. "Why'd you lie?"

"I didn't lie. I just never told you guys the whole truth," I mumbled, making Garrett roll his eyes and groan. "Do you think I'd hide it without any reason?"

"Enlighten us with your wonderful reason," Daisy spat the words out, making me wince.

"I was in freshman year and I had plenty of people around me. When John left, everybody turned their backs on me. Because really, do you guys have any idea how happy it is to find out that they're all getting close to you because you're their ticket to becoming John's friend?" I laughed bitterly, wiping the tears forming in my eyes with my sleeves. "You know the story," I looked at Jared whose mouth was slightly open. He nodded slowly and looked at his feet.

"Do you think we would use you to get to John?" Daisy stood up, motioning for John. "Look around, March. Do you think we're that kind of people?"

I was left speechless on my spot and I can't even look all of them straight in the eyes. If I did, I knew I'd just burst in tears right there and then.

Garrett stood up and stomped his way away from the couch but John caught him by the arm, making him scowl at the taller person. "Try to be more fucking understanding."

"You have no idea how why I can't stand her right now so let the fuck go," Garrett muttered, pulling his arm away from John and marching up the stairs.

"Gare," I called, following him up and to the kitchen. Thankfully, there were no people around. Both of his hands were on the counter, he hung his head low and I could hear him breathing deeply. "Garrett I'm-"

"You were the one I could count on with everything," he shook his head while the words just flew out of his mouth, stinging me more and more. "I didn't expect you to fucking open up with me but you should've known that you could've trust me with that information."

My lips quivered and I pressed them together so it would stop because if it continued any further, I knew I wouldn't stop sobbing.

"It's just that easy for you to lie to us, huh?" His face was red and his fists were clenched on the marble counter. "Of course. Why then would it be easy for you to hide the fact that you and John are siblings for more than several months. Any other secrets you'd like to tell us? Maybe you'd like to tell me that all of what we've been through were lies too."

I tried pushing the tears back but they were already spilling. I tried making my voice understandable as possible but it was hard, considering I knew how I couldn't talk properly when I was in tears. "G-Garrett, you of all people should know how much I enjoy being with you."

"Complete and utter bullshit," he curled his lips and walked out of the kitchen. I followed him out to the kitchen and out of the house. But he stepped in the rain and ran towards his car and drove off without even looking back.

I put my arms around myself and I sat on the wooden flooring of the porch, feeling nothing but regret and sadness. I was a sobbing mess and I couldn't stop the tears from rolling out. I must've sat there for a long time because when John stepped out of the door, I've already stopped crying and I settled for just staring at the rain pouring in silence. I couldn't even think and I was just mindlessly staring at the open space.

"Hey, June," John ruffled my hair. On a normal day, I'd get mad and swat his hand away. But I didn't move or even look up at him. "March... Let's go home."

"I ruined everything," I said blankly.

"You didn't ruin everything," he shook his head, grabbing my wrists and helping me up. "Come on. We're going to get fries and milkshake."

***

I went through glass door of our guest room out to the balcony where there was a glass table and 2 matching chairs. The roof made it possible for us to hang out there despite the bad weather and the only problem was the coldness gave me a weird feeling but I shrugged it off because truthfully, I actually like the numb feeling it was giving me.

John put the 6-pack beer on the glass table, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes at him and stared at the bad weather in front of us. When I heard rustling, I looked at the table again and saw that he put a paper bag of fries and two cups of milkshake in front of us.

"I promised you milkshake and fries so you're getting milkshake and fries," he muttered, taking one of the cups and sipping on it.

"Mom's gonna flip if she sees that pack with us," I nudged over to the alcohol and glanced over at him.

"She's not going to be home until six and I don't think she's going to get mad for us drinking milkshake and eating fries," he winked and grinned at me. When I rolled my eyes again, he tried catching my gaze and stared at me. "I'm not going to urge you to drink if you don't want to. I know you don't want to. Truth be told, this is all for me," he said, a smirk on his lips.

I took one bottle and grabbed the opener lying on the table. It's a good thing that I got it open on one try because I've never really opened one and it felt like it would be too embarrassing to fail opening a bottle of beer in front of John. I took a swig and I really tried not to scrunch up my face when I tasted the bitterness of the gold-yellow liquid. But apparently, it was quite obvious that I didn't like the taste of beer because John laughed at me and took a sip of the strawberry milkshake.

"Can we move one last time to another state?" I mumbled, completely fazed by the rain pouring in front of us. "One last time. I hope I can make everything right one last time."

"Why don't we stay here and you make everything right here," John suggested, looking at me with his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Because I don't think there's a possibility that everything would go back the way it was," I muttered. I took another gulp and closed my eyes for a moment. "I ruined everything with everyone. With Daisy, Jared, Pat..." I pressed my lips together and thought about Garrett. I definitely thought there wasn't any possibility of us getting better again.

"If Garrett doesn't understand why, then he doesn't really like you, March," John shook his head and stared at me intently.

"It was over before it even really started." I let out an airy laugh and shook my head back at him. "Even I know now that what I did was a total stupid move. I should've told them, John! They weren't going to use me to get to you because they already had you. I was just scared it'll go around..."

"And that's it," he cut me off before I could finish what I was saying. "That's what you were scared of. That it might get out and I don't know how it feels, but I'm pretty sure getting used isn't a great feeling."

"It feels so bad!" I yelled, downing the rest of my drink and slamming the bottle on the table. I grabbed another one and opened it with no hesitations, taking a gulp immediately. I took a moment before I started speaking. I turned to John slowly, munching on fries. "Hey, John?" He raised his eyebrow at me and made a 'mmm' sound. "Don't let my issue get in the way of you and Daisy, okay?"

"I'm not going to promise you anything."

"Great," I muttered, leaning my face on my hand. The last thing I wanted to happen was affect John's relationship with any of them. I didn't want him to defend me because I am fully aware that all of this is my fault and he had nothing to do with it. He tried convincing me to tell them anyway.

He was eating another bunch of fries when he shook his head and wiped his mouth clean with a paper napkin. "Daisy, of all people, should be the one to understand why you did what you did. If she doesn't, then she's kind of a hypocrite. The moment she'd see me in the hall, she'd spin around and run away."

"You're such a pain in the ass," I rolled my eyes and took a gulp.

"Darlin', I know," he laughed softly but when silence took over us, he drank from the white paper cup and stared at the empty space in front of us. I kept waiting for him to say something because I thought he was going to make a witty remark. But when I didn't hear anything in the next ten seconds, I turned to him and I realized that there wasn't a hint of smile on his face. "I wish I could make friends without you and Daisy having problems."

I sighed and tilted my head. "John-" I started, but he was quick to cut me off.

"It's cool. We don't need to get sentimental about it," he smirked, finishing his drink.

I paused for a moment and smiled at him. "You didn't let me finish, douche. I was going to say you're sounding like you're a big hunk."

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "If someone tries to get to me through you, just let him or her do it and I'll do the rest, okay? I just... I don't know. I just don't want you to think that I'm doing this intentionally. Like I don't mean for all of them to take advantage of you to get to me. You should know that that's never my prerogative."

"I know that that isn't what you want to happen," I punched him slightly on the arm. He chuckled and looked down at his hands. "Have you ever gotten mad that I shared the same friends with you here?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Because they're my friends and I should have dibs first?" He looked over at me and chuckled. "No. I feel better because you finally have people who love you for you. And you aren't hanging out with Kean's group because they scare the shit out of me."

I just nodded and smiled. There are tons of reasons why John is the worst brother ever. He will seriously make it his life mission to annoy the shit out of you and to be the biggest pest to you in the morning. But I've got to admit, he's actually also a good brother. He gets along with a lot of people and as much as that ruins my life, I can't imagine him not being there.

"Any reason why you're sticking with the milkshake?"

He shrugged slightly before taking a sip again. "I love strawberry milkshake. And I don't want you to drink without anyone looking after you."

"You don't have to-"

"September, you've snuck me up to my room, dragged my ass up the stairs, and drove me home from parties our parents didn't allow me to go to," he said. "Can you just shut up and wind off for a bit? It's 3 in the afternoon and you've had a long day."

I sighed and put the almost empty bottle down the table. "What would I do without you."

"Probably live a more normal life. Love you too, sis."