The Aftermath of a Misunderstood Girl
Chapter 1: Alice's P.O.V.
Fahk where was that woman!? I didn’t want to bomb the astronomy test alone. I sat doodling in my sketchbook waiting for the morning announcements. I looked up as i heard the intercom click to life. “Good morning students” he said. Mr. Morrow sounded different. Depressed…..mundane. He told us the normal everyday things then there was a long pause. I waited for him to say “stand for the Pledge of Allegiance” but nothing. “Please, let us have a moment of silence for the death of Angel Lylla Smith” No one talked, everyone froze. As if someone had told them a celebrity had O.D. A loud wail escaped my throat. I saw tears streaming down numerous people’s faces. I looked over at Scarlett. Her face in her hands sobbing. I screamed not knowing what else to do. She had been one of my closest friends……...she couldn’t be dead! No she couldn’t be! It just wasn’t possible! For the first time in the year and a half I’d known Lexie I saw her cry. It was silent, but the tragedy of our friend’s death had hit her like a slap too.
Lexie’s P.O.V.
I jumped slightly as the bell rang for Target (study hall). The people that had no fondness of Angel moved normally while the others slowly trudged through the doors. Our table and Scarlett, stayed almost glued to our seats. Mr. Botchner and Mr. Turner stared blankly at us, waiting for us to move. “You can go to the counselor’s office” Mr. Turner said quietly. Arisianna joined us as we walked down the hall. We moved slowly as a group down the stairwell, not speaking, not looking at each other, we hardly even took a breath. I looked at the line of 8th graders coming out of the counselor’s office. All had been friends of Angel, but not as close as the 6 of us. All needing comfort for the bright (or so we thought) child’s death.
_____________
I stepped into the house realizing i was alone. No mom…..no dad…...no brothers. I walked into the kitchen and looked at the note hanging on the fridge:
Dear Lexile,
Your brothers have gone job hunting while your father and I are out for the night. There’s a casserole in the oven, just turn the oven to 350 and cook for 30 minutes. We’ll be home later tonight. Dont forget your studies!
Love, Mom
I sighed crumpling the note and throwing it away. I turned my music up turning the oven on. I walked upstairs into the bathroom and closed the door. Tears silently streaked down my face as I turned on the shower. She couldn’t be gone…….she can’t…..one of my closest friends…..gone. I stripped down and stepped under the water. Tendrils of scalding water streamed down my body making strands of my brunette hair; now black, cling to my shoulders and breasts. The burn stung my body and tinted my skin red. I hadn’t been able to feel anything all day, so it felt wonderful. Now alone i let out the wails i couldn’t have made in school. Why did she do it……why didn’t she tell us something was wrong...just one of us…..Alice….Arisianna….Jenny….Harper….she’d never tell Scarlett something like that.
Ever since Angel dumped Scarlett they’ve never been the same. Angel tries so hard to be nice to Scarlett and all she does is push her away and insult her. I washed my hair and body slowly going numb to the burn. I stepped out and wrapped my robe tight around me. I walked to my room dressing in my pjs. I heard the oven go off and walked into the kitchen. I carefully pulled the tray out and put a small portion of casserole on my plate. I slid the tray back into the oven so it would stay warm for my brothers and went back to my room.
I ate slowly as I did my homework. My food cold, I stood walking into the kitchen. I started cleaning the dish when I heard the front door open. They were my brothers’ footsteps. “Lexie. You have a letter.” one said handing it to me after I had dried my hands. I looked at it. Weird. Didn’t know the address. “Thanks…” I mumbled walking back to my room. I closed the door and laid on my bed. I opened the envelope curiously and pulled the paper out. I couldn’t believe it……..It was Angel’s hand writing.
Dear Lexie,
By the time you read this. . . . . I already know I’ll be gone. The whole school will know. If you’re having even the slightest thought that you caused this, you’re wrong. In time, you’ll see who it is. Merely from the dead look in their eyes. It wasn’t just one big thing either. Things built up! Like my tears did the night it happened. I trust you to keep the secret that other people will get letters from me. You being one of them. First you, then Alice, then Arisianna, then Scarlett, Harper, Jenny, Alec, and Hannah. Again, you caused NOTHING. If anything, you, Jenny, and Harper are the most innocent. This is just me giving the goodbye you never got. . . Remember, I loved you like my sister.
Sincerely,
Angel
Alice’s P.O.V.
I dont know if it was the look on my face or the news report this morning that set it off, but as soon as my feet stepped past my door, my mother enveloped me into a hug. “I’m so sorry Alice….” she said as tears ran down my cheeks. I gently pushed her away. “I just wanna be alone….” I said walking down the hall to my room. She didn’t say anything more and I closed my door. Sobs racked my body as I collapsed onto my bed. I stayed that way for what felt like hours before I looked at my laptop laying on the ground charging. I picked it up and set it in my lap. I logged onto my Quotev account and typed into my activity “The sky lost a star. She has an account on here. You know her as ‘You Love Me for all the Wrong Reasons’. I know her as Angel. Angel Smith. A sweet, loud, boisterous, loving, understanding, good listening, misunderstood, girl. She took her own life for unknown reasons. She never deserved something like this. If I’m not online…...you know why”. I knew her email account. With a little computer magic I was able to log into her account.
Step by step, I turned her page into a memorial for her. Her followers leaving comments by the dozens. I answered them all. Her online role playing buddies, close friends in different states and continents, fans of her writing, anyone that had a fondness of her and her fun ways. “
“Alice! You have a letter!” my mom called from the living room. “What!” i yelled back. “You have a letter!” she said. I walked in and took it from her looking at it. “Who’s it from?” she asked. I looked at the address curious as well. “I don’t know…..” I trailed off. I took it back to my room and slid my finger along the seam opening it. It was from Angel…
Dear Alice,
I’m dead. I’m LONG gone. I made sure of that. You were my BEST friend. In town that is. And I’m giving you one reason why I did what I did. Luka. Yes, I realize you have no idea who this is, but he was a reason. A nice, shy, abused, schizophrenic, bullied, teen. And, cancerous. You wanna know why I was quiet those perfect school days? It was because he was slowly dying while I was healthy. TWo nights before my death, he passed away. His brother texted me after school, too afraid to call me from fear I’d scream it wasn’t true. Ask for Luka himself. Bawl. I did those either way. But he’d died in his sleep. I never got to say goodbye. . . . .He was so innocent. Too young for death. For worries of getting through one day to the next. That, is one of the reasons I took my life. You, Alice, were my best friend. Don’t mourn for me. I don’t want that. Please, I love you sissy. Goodbye forever.
Your sister, Angel
New tears made their way down my face. One reason out of how many? 5? 10? 20 maybe? I tossed the letter onto my dresser and sunk into my bed. Too exhausted to stay awake any longer.
Johnny’s P.O.V.
I walked in the door behind Liam and Dakota waiting for Angel to text us all excited and to tell us about her day, but that text never came. We waited…..and waited…..and waited…..she never texted us. She usually told us the night before if wasn’t going to be able to text us the next day. Oh well, maybe something just came up. It’s happened before. I looked up as grandma walked in my room. “You have a letter Johnny” she said handing it to me. No one sends me letters, they usually just text me or call me. I looked at the unknown address. It was from Kansas though…..maybe Angel sent me a drawing? I dunno…..I opened the envelope and pulled out the notebook paper inside. It was a letter.
Dear Johnny,
If you’re reading this letter, I’ve died. You, Johnny, were my second love. And a damn good one at that. I loved you so much, during our relationship, and after. I was nice enough to let you go the second time around. You deserved someone in town. One that will love you, hold you, cherish you, marry you. Just know that you were a great brother, and lover. And I’m going to let you in on two reasons I did what I did. One, you’ll never know them, but my friends is one. The weakling of the group. The lowest ranking. The omega. Never in the loop, knowing everything last because they can’t trust me. Two, missing you and knowing I’ll never have someone as amazing like you ever again. I truly loved you Johnny. Please don’t forget me.
Your Lover, Angel
“N-No…..” I murmured to myself. No! She wasn’t dead! “No!” I shrieked making my fiance Dakota jump. I crumpled up the paper throwing it across the room. I kept shrieking no into the nothingness of the room as Dakota walked over and picked up the paper reading it. His eyes filled with tears as well as mine. Letting them spill over I looked up at him. “We have to tell Liam, Kayden, and Blake…..” i said softly. He only nodded. I stood stooping much higher above Dakota, my head nearly brushing the ceiling. I slid my arm around his waist walking into each of their rooms. Stopping to comfort everyone. Liam and Kayden’s eyes were blank with tears rolling down their cheeks as we left. Angel had grown up having alter egos. Two of which Liam and Kayden had fallen for. Mason and Wynter. They had been still attached to Angel when she died.
Myself being the most phased. She had been my first love, my sister, my family... I should have said something more that night! I shouldn’t have let her hang up! It’s all my fault! I broke down into sobs letting them rack my body. Dakota slipped his arms around me squeezing my slender waist. “She can’t hurt anymore Johnny…..” he said quietly. “She’s somewhere better” he finished. I kept my head down, the shock of her death setting in. I pushed him away not wanting his comfort.”Please…..just let me cry” i whispered burying my head in my knees. I heard only a sigh and felt him slide off the bed going to his own. Rage suddenly filled my body. It was as if it were my very being. I screamed and jumped up. I slid my arms across my dresser sending everything flying into random places. I tore posters from the walls. Kicked my desk chair. Finally my rage drained, I crumpled to the ground pulling my knees to my chest. I heard the soft padding of Dakota’s bare footsteps come to my side. He silently wrapped his arms around me and held me. I tried to push him away, but my attempts were too weak. I had used all my energy to destroy our room. I sat and buried my face into his chest wailing.
Lexie’s P.O.V.
I jumped slightly as the bell rang for Target (study hall). The people that had no fondness of Angel moved normally while the others slowly trudged through the doors. Our table and Scarlett, stayed almost glued to our seats. Mr. Botchner and Mr. Turner stared blankly at us, waiting for us to move. “You can go to the counselor’s office” Mr. Turner said quietly. Arisianna joined us as we walked down the hall. We moved slowly as a group down the stairwell, not speaking, not looking at each other, we hardly even took a breath. I looked at the line of 8th graders coming out of the counselor’s office. All had been friends of Angel, but not as close as the 6 of us. All needing comfort for the bright (or so we thought) child’s death.
_____________
I stepped into the house realizing i was alone. No mom…..no dad…...no brothers. I walked into the kitchen and looked at the note hanging on the fridge:
Dear Lexile,
Your brothers have gone job hunting while your father and I are out for the night. There’s a casserole in the oven, just turn the oven to 350 and cook for 30 minutes. We’ll be home later tonight. Dont forget your studies!
Love, Mom
I sighed crumpling the note and throwing it away. I turned my music up turning the oven on. I walked upstairs into the bathroom and closed the door. Tears silently streaked down my face as I turned on the shower. She couldn’t be gone…….she can’t…..one of my closest friends…..gone. I stripped down and stepped under the water. Tendrils of scalding water streamed down my body making strands of my brunette hair; now black, cling to my shoulders and breasts. The burn stung my body and tinted my skin red. I hadn’t been able to feel anything all day, so it felt wonderful. Now alone i let out the wails i couldn’t have made in school. Why did she do it……why didn’t she tell us something was wrong...just one of us…..Alice….Arisianna….Jenny….Harper….she’d never tell Scarlett something like that.
Ever since Angel dumped Scarlett they’ve never been the same. Angel tries so hard to be nice to Scarlett and all she does is push her away and insult her. I washed my hair and body slowly going numb to the burn. I stepped out and wrapped my robe tight around me. I walked to my room dressing in my pjs. I heard the oven go off and walked into the kitchen. I carefully pulled the tray out and put a small portion of casserole on my plate. I slid the tray back into the oven so it would stay warm for my brothers and went back to my room.
I ate slowly as I did my homework. My food cold, I stood walking into the kitchen. I started cleaning the dish when I heard the front door open. They were my brothers’ footsteps. “Lexie. You have a letter.” one said handing it to me after I had dried my hands. I looked at it. Weird. Didn’t know the address. “Thanks…” I mumbled walking back to my room. I closed the door and laid on my bed. I opened the envelope curiously and pulled the paper out. I couldn’t believe it……..It was Angel’s hand writing.
Dear Lexie,
By the time you read this. . . . . I already know I’ll be gone. The whole school will know. If you’re having even the slightest thought that you caused this, you’re wrong. In time, you’ll see who it is. Merely from the dead look in their eyes. It wasn’t just one big thing either. Things built up! Like my tears did the night it happened. I trust you to keep the secret that other people will get letters from me. You being one of them. First you, then Alice, then Arisianna, then Scarlett, Harper, Jenny, Alec, and Hannah. Again, you caused NOTHING. If anything, you, Jenny, and Harper are the most innocent. This is just me giving the goodbye you never got. . . Remember, I loved you like my sister.
Sincerely,
Angel
Alice’s P.O.V.
I dont know if it was the look on my face or the news report this morning that set it off, but as soon as my feet stepped past my door, my mother enveloped me into a hug. “I’m so sorry Alice….” she said as tears ran down my cheeks. I gently pushed her away. “I just wanna be alone….” I said walking down the hall to my room. She didn’t say anything more and I closed my door. Sobs racked my body as I collapsed onto my bed. I stayed that way for what felt like hours before I looked at my laptop laying on the ground charging. I picked it up and set it in my lap. I logged onto my Quotev account and typed into my activity “The sky lost a star. She has an account on here. You know her as ‘You Love Me for all the Wrong Reasons’. I know her as Angel. Angel Smith. A sweet, loud, boisterous, loving, understanding, good listening, misunderstood, girl. She took her own life for unknown reasons. She never deserved something like this. If I’m not online…...you know why”. I knew her email account. With a little computer magic I was able to log into her account.
Step by step, I turned her page into a memorial for her. Her followers leaving comments by the dozens. I answered them all. Her online role playing buddies, close friends in different states and continents, fans of her writing, anyone that had a fondness of her and her fun ways. “
“Alice! You have a letter!” my mom called from the living room. “What!” i yelled back. “You have a letter!” she said. I walked in and took it from her looking at it. “Who’s it from?” she asked. I looked at the address curious as well. “I don’t know…..” I trailed off. I took it back to my room and slid my finger along the seam opening it. It was from Angel…
Dear Alice,
I’m dead. I’m LONG gone. I made sure of that. You were my BEST friend. In town that is. And I’m giving you one reason why I did what I did. Luka. Yes, I realize you have no idea who this is, but he was a reason. A nice, shy, abused, schizophrenic, bullied, teen. And, cancerous. You wanna know why I was quiet those perfect school days? It was because he was slowly dying while I was healthy. TWo nights before my death, he passed away. His brother texted me after school, too afraid to call me from fear I’d scream it wasn’t true. Ask for Luka himself. Bawl. I did those either way. But he’d died in his sleep. I never got to say goodbye. . . . .He was so innocent. Too young for death. For worries of getting through one day to the next. That, is one of the reasons I took my life. You, Alice, were my best friend. Don’t mourn for me. I don’t want that. Please, I love you sissy. Goodbye forever.
Your sister, Angel
New tears made their way down my face. One reason out of how many? 5? 10? 20 maybe? I tossed the letter onto my dresser and sunk into my bed. Too exhausted to stay awake any longer.
Johnny’s P.O.V.
I walked in the door behind Liam and Dakota waiting for Angel to text us all excited and to tell us about her day, but that text never came. We waited…..and waited…..and waited…..she never texted us. She usually told us the night before if wasn’t going to be able to text us the next day. Oh well, maybe something just came up. It’s happened before. I looked up as grandma walked in my room. “You have a letter Johnny” she said handing it to me. No one sends me letters, they usually just text me or call me. I looked at the unknown address. It was from Kansas though…..maybe Angel sent me a drawing? I dunno…..I opened the envelope and pulled out the notebook paper inside. It was a letter.
Dear Johnny,
If you’re reading this letter, I’ve died. You, Johnny, were my second love. And a damn good one at that. I loved you so much, during our relationship, and after. I was nice enough to let you go the second time around. You deserved someone in town. One that will love you, hold you, cherish you, marry you. Just know that you were a great brother, and lover. And I’m going to let you in on two reasons I did what I did. One, you’ll never know them, but my friends is one. The weakling of the group. The lowest ranking. The omega. Never in the loop, knowing everything last because they can’t trust me. Two, missing you and knowing I’ll never have someone as amazing like you ever again. I truly loved you Johnny. Please don’t forget me.
Your Lover, Angel
“N-No…..” I murmured to myself. No! She wasn’t dead! “No!” I shrieked making my fiance Dakota jump. I crumpled up the paper throwing it across the room. I kept shrieking no into the nothingness of the room as Dakota walked over and picked up the paper reading it. His eyes filled with tears as well as mine. Letting them spill over I looked up at him. “We have to tell Liam, Kayden, and Blake…..” i said softly. He only nodded. I stood stooping much higher above Dakota, my head nearly brushing the ceiling. I slid my arm around his waist walking into each of their rooms. Stopping to comfort everyone. Liam and Kayden’s eyes were blank with tears rolling down their cheeks as we left. Angel had grown up having alter egos. Two of which Liam and Kayden had fallen for. Mason and Wynter. They had been still attached to Angel when she died.
Myself being the most phased. She had been my first love, my sister, my family... I should have said something more that night! I shouldn’t have let her hang up! It’s all my fault! I broke down into sobs letting them rack my body. Dakota slipped his arms around me squeezing my slender waist. “She can’t hurt anymore Johnny…..” he said quietly. “She’s somewhere better” he finished. I kept my head down, the shock of her death setting in. I pushed him away not wanting his comfort.”Please…..just let me cry” i whispered burying my head in my knees. I heard only a sigh and felt him slide off the bed going to his own. Rage suddenly filled my body. It was as if it were my very being. I screamed and jumped up. I slid my arms across my dresser sending everything flying into random places. I tore posters from the walls. Kicked my desk chair. Finally my rage drained, I crumpled to the ground pulling my knees to my chest. I heard the soft padding of Dakota’s bare footsteps come to my side. He silently wrapped his arms around me and held me. I tried to push him away, but my attempts were too weak. I had used all my energy to destroy our room. I sat and buried my face into his chest wailing.