Flower

She was one of the strangest people I had ever met yet I was drawn to her. I didn’t really know what was wrong with me or her on that matter, but we were always staring at each other. It was always like that till I decided to change things. It was bound to happen; I could tell from the way she was looking at me and the way my eyes followed her frame in the school’s yard.

I didn’t even know her name when I first approached her, but that made it all the more interesting. I was the kind of guy that wanted to find something interesting to play with, and she seemed to be the right toy to pass my time. She always smiled, making me subconsciously smile as well. It was weird, but there were some people with that kind of ability.

She was looking directly into my eyes as I stared into her emerald ones. Her golden hair kissed by the sun, her rosy cheeks, and her full lips… She was beautiful in my eyes; that much I had to admit. In comparison, my looks were plain. I had dark characteristics like the blackness of a room at night.

‘’Do you have any business with me?’’ She had asked before I had managed to say anything, taken in by her appearance and her beautiful face.

‘’Yes, come with me?’’ I asked, hoping she’d accept something that bold. Most girls liked it so I hoped she wouldn’t have been any different.

‘’Sure,’’ her voice replied with a small smile. I grabbed her hand and we left the school grounds, going to my house. My parents were at work till nine so that was very convenient for me.

We got inside my room and I locked the door, leaving the key there. I quickly pushed her on the bed, so her back touched the soft covers. I got between her legs, my chest against hers, connecting our lips. She didn’t push me away, instead she pushed her tongue in my mouth and my tongue played with her's in a heated dance. The passion was building up inside me and soon our clothes met the floor.

I took her in every possible way I had ever known. I had her on top of me, under me, standing up, on the desk, on the floor… It didn’t matter. I just wanted her. It was pure passion and nothing more, or so I thought.

The same thing kept happening for half a year. School would end and we would go to my house and have sex, again and again till we were both satisfied. My hunger for her kept growing though, and I wanted her more and more. I wanted her to be my girlfriend, to be completely mine and no one else’s.

‘’Why don’t you go out with me, Kayla?’’ I had asked. It was two days after we had graduated, and we had passed our university exams.

‘’I can’t. I take clients at night since I am an escort,’’ she muttered getting up from beside me on the bed and going to the mirror in front of the bed to brush her hair and get ready to leave. It was almost nine thirty which meant my parents would be home in any minute.

‘’You’re a what?!’’ I yelled, not believing my ears. We had been together for so long and I knew nothing about that. I knew nothing about her other than her body measurements and how much I had fallen for her.

She didn’t reply, but even though her back was turned to me, I could see her thanks to the mirror. She had that expression that seemed to say, you didn’t know? Of course I didn’t know. If I knew I wouldn’t – no, I would have… but still, that was too much. Had she not realized my feelings all this time? I guess having sex every day and not telling her how I felt played a huge role against me.

‘’I didn’t know. Can’t you stop being an escort and be mine?’’ That was the only thing I could have done in order to make her really mine.

‘’I can’t,’’ she answered while fixing up her make-up.

‘’You can’t or you don’t want to?’’ I asked, feeling angry that she hadn’t even taken a while to think about it and just answered so blunt.

‘’I don’t want to. I like my life the way it is and I like my job, why change that for you? We just have sex, it’s not like we’re in love.’’ She got dressed up quickly while I had frozen; trying to comprehend what was going on.

Was she really that kind of woman? Had I fallen for someone so cold and shallow like her? I’ve never loved before and it had to be her? I was angry, really angry. Not only had I let myself fall for her, I was also played by her in my own game. I invented this game of fuck buddies and she had just managed to turn the tables around.

When she was fully clothed, she gave me a small peck on the lips. ‘’It was fun, but now we’re done. Goodbye, Justin.’’ She turned her back to me, unlocked the door, and left. A minute later I heard the loud sound of the front door being shut.

She had left me. I had lost the game and I had lost her. If I had kept my mouth shut I would have been able to be with her, sort of, but still…the fact she was fucking someone other than me, or others seeing the kind of work she does (if you could call that a job) was a huge blow to me. She had ended our relationship, or at least what I thought we had; even though it was just sex to her.

I didn’t cry. I had just lost a woman, but there would be more to come. Life didn’t come to an end just because she left me, and I would fall in love again. I lit up a cigarette and started writing down the lyrics to the only song I would ever write for her.

You were my flower, but you had lost all your power. You were mine, everyday till nine. But still, once a whore, you’re nothing more. I’m sorry that’ll never change.

The smoke of my cigarette flew away from my mouth like she had flew away from my heart, yet I knew I’d be able to pick up my pieces as a tear strolled down my cheek, because no one knows what the future holds and I was sure I wanted to find out what mine had in store for me. The Summer had just begun.