Status: Just beginning! Enjoy.

Tim, I Wish You Were Born a Girl

Two

Tim has a boyfriend now, so he is even more distracted than usual when we have our Saturday movie marathon. He is texting his boyfriend the entire time we're choosing movies. He looks up for long enough to say, "Ooh, Max! Let's get a romantic comedy!" And he points to a movie that would immediately make me lose any credibility I still have as a straight male.

So I say, "Tim. Are you completely sure that you are a man?"

But he is too into is phone to pay attention to me.

He is always like this when he has a boyfriend, and the boy always hurts him in the end. Tim is too good for the boys he dates and I wish he would just realize that and let us keep spending all our time together and playing video games he can't win and watching movies that make him fall asleep on my shoulder. That's how it's supposed to be and his boyfriends always ruin that.

Wow, okay. I have to stop that, because I am starting to sound as gay as Tim is. If that's even possible.

After choosing movies, we go back to my house, where we only get to watch two movies before he has to go, so that he can get his "beauty sleep" and look perfect for a date. If Tim's boyfriend doesn't see that he is perfect, then the boy doesn't deserve to be on a date with my best friend.

I don't tell Tim this, though, because I am a man.