Picture This

At the age of 26, after a journalism degree and a photography course, I had my own freelance business. Anna Lee Photography. Most of my work was basic wedding photos and family pictures. I had also done a few random photos for a variety of magazines. I made the money I needed to pay the bills, I had my own hours and I enjoyed taking pictures. It was a hobby of mine since I was a kid, and working for a newspaper in New York just didn’t cut it for me.

Just last week, I received a phone call from a photographer in California, who had seen my work. He was a friend of my sister’s husband, who was originally from San Diego. It didn’t help that Daniel, her husband’s name, had put in a good word for me, knowing my latest frustrations with the little work I was getting lately. I was asked to help on a photo shoot for Entertainment Weekly, shots for the new Captain America movie coming out next year. They had lost one of their photographers, and needed a replacement as soon as possible, I didn’t ask why.

I booked a ticket immediately and was on my way. Who knew I would be in California, the entertainment capital. This is where everything happens in the entertainment world. I was in awe.

There was no time for sightseeing, I was told to get right to the studio as soon as I landed in San Diego. I wasn’t exactly looking my best, getting off a long plane ride, so I searched through my luggage in the airport bathroom and found a pair of denim shorts, white t-shirt and a summery scarf. I threw my hair in a bun and put on bright pink lipstick, which I was able to pull off with my pale skin and dark brown hair.

All I had with me was a bag of clothes, essentials and my camera and accessories. I was only staying for the one night, I didn’t need much.

I grabbed a cab and made my way to the address they told me on the phone. I got in the doors and gave my name, and had no trouble getting in. I didn’t understand how I wasn’t nervous at this point, by the list that was sent to me, I knew there was some big names that were going to be here. I guess the speed of everything that’s happened, I didn’t really have time to be that nervous.

I entered the studio and it was buzzing. There were people everywhere, a lot of yelling and laughing. It was too much to take in at once. I looked around, hoping to find someone that could send me in the right direction, but I was caught before I could.

“You’re Anna Lee, correct?”

“That would be me” I nodded. I put out my hand and he shook it. He was taller, middle aged, but still decent looking for his age, but he didn’t dress like it, looking dishevelled and tired in baggy clothing.

“I’m Stephen, we spoke on the phone”

“Finally, a face to the name” I replied, “How did you know it was me?”

“You looked a little confused, and out of place, and Facebook is a wondrous thing when you have mutual friends”

I chuckled, “Good point, so what happens now?”

“Well first I’ll introduce you to the cast whom you’ll be shooting. It will be a quick shoot, they have to get back. So we’ll get right to it”

I was starstuck the moment Scarlett Johansson turned around to shake my hand, it all seemed like a blur. Quick handshakes and polite hello’s is all I could process. But then one of the last guys came up, I was told he was playing the Winter Solider in the movie, he was also in the first, which would have helped if I had seen the movie. I had seen promo shots, so I knew he needed long hair for the film. It was dark and slicked back. He had icy blue eyes and a bright smile.

“Sebastian Stan, Anna Lee”

“Nice to meet you” he smiled.

“You too” I replied.

My eyes stayed on him for a moment before I realized I needed to break my hand away, “Oh, I’m sorry” I said, shaking my head, “Nerves I guess, first time—being around—this whole celebrity thing…I’m going to stop talking now”

He laughed a little, “Don’t worry, we’ll make it easy on you. Just have fun”

My stomach flipped a bit and I nodded, “Yah, okay, I will”

I sighed a bit as they grouped together, preparing for the shoot. A girl came up next to me, her arms across her chest, “You’re not the only one who’s looked like that after seeing him”

“Excuse me?”

“Sebastian. He’s a doll. Met him on the set of a photo shoot last year, did the makeup for it. He’s a sweetheart, laid-back and a fun guy to be around. I’ve done a few shoots with him since then. All the good ones are taken though” she shook her head, as if disappointed, even though I could clearly see a ring on her finger and she caught me looking, “I can appreciate” she laughed, “It’s just an observation”

“Is it another actress?” I asked.

“Actually yes, Jennifer Morrison, from the tv show Once Upon a Time” she replied, “Just over a year now”

“Oh wow…” I tried not to sound disappointed. It’s not like I was his type anyways, I had no chance with a guy like that. Plus, this will be the first and last time I see him.

I felt confident while doing the shoot, group photos that is. When it came to single shots, I got myself a little nervous, especially when he came up. I stared at the blank background, taking deep breaths as I waited for him to come up.

“Don’t be nervous, I’ll make it easy on you” only a little while ago, I heard those same words from the same voice. I turned my head and he was standing next to me, looking over my shoulder at the camera, “See, you already have some good shots. I wouldn’t worry”

I laughed, nervously, “How do you plan to make it easy on me?” I kept my eyes down, pretending I was scanning through the photos.

He looked over at me now, almost a mischievous smirk on his face, and his arms crossed “Well tell me what will make it easy for you?”

“Maybe put someone up there that doesn’t make me so damn nervous” I sighed and closed my eyes as soon as the words left my mouth. I felt my cheeks heat up but I didn’t notice him move. I heard him laugh a little, “Well, before today, I was nobody special to you, so try and go back to that.”

I knew that was impossible and ignored his comment, “You should get out there”

He nodded, “Just keep snapping, you’ll be fine”

It was a smooth shoot, and I got some really great shots of just him and some with him and Chris. I was proud of myself and everything was finally beginning to sink in.

As things began to come to a close, I sat in a makeup chair and took a final look through my photos before it was all said and done. I was happy with how things turned out, and I hoped it was what they needed. I looked around and still saw a lot of buzzing as things settled down, there was still a couple of the actors around, including Sebastian. I didn’t know what it was about him when I got near him. He had a vibe about him that was terrifying to me because he seemed genuinely happy, which is something I longed for.

I watched him interact with a couple of the actors, as well as some of the crew he was familiar with. He laughed like a child, head back, bright smile and a genuine laugh. Whatever he had, I wanted it, but I had no clue how to get it. As he finished a conversation, he turned around, as if looking for someone and then caught my eye. I looked away quickly, but noticed him come in my direction.

“You did pretty great for your first time” he said, standing in front of me.

I looked up at him, “Thanks, I had fun. You guys are fun”

“Thanks…” he paused for a moment, looking for something to say, but he didn’t.

“I guess I should get ready to go, early flight tomorrow” I stood up and turned to put my things away.

“Where’s that to?” he asked.

“New York” I answered, “Back home”

“You live in the city?”

I nodded, “I do”

“I do too” he said, “Are you from there?”

“Albany actually” I replied, “But I fell in love with the city when I was a teenager. Still love it to this day”

He smiled a bit, “I love it too. It feels a little less laid back than LA. Reminds that there’s more to life than this business”

I felt like he was telling me something reserved for a close friend or even girlfriend, not someone he just met a couple of hours ago.

“It’s a great city” I replied, “But a very big one too. Highly doubt we’ll run into each other too often” I laughed a little, and he chuckled in response, “Very true” he stated.

“Plus, how often are you even there. I’m sure this whole thing will keep you busy for quite some time. I mean this whole job would take you all over the place.” I didn’t know why I kept talking. I guess I was hoping he’d make some kind of indication he’d like to see me again.

He nodded, “It does. But I do get some ‘me’ time” he said.

“That’s always a good thing”

“And it’s nice to know people who aren’t always in the business”

“Are you suggesting something?” I asked. I felt my stomach turn a bit and my eyebrows raised in hope and genuine curiosity.

He shrugged, “Maybe I’ll see you in New York sometime Anna” it seemed like he was dodging the question, and I had a feeling the girlfriend was in the back of his mind.

I sighed and nodded, “It was nice meeting you Sebastian. Good luck with everything.”

He gave me a nod and started to walk away and I found myself falling back into the makeup chair. I ran a hand through my hair and packed up the rest of my stuff. I feel like this entire day he went out of his way to talk to me, but why? I really wish he hadn’t, because now he’ll be something I wish I didn’t let get away, someone who’ll be hard to forget and someone who’s face will be plastered on movie posters, movie screens and magazines.

I can’t just let him walk away.

“Sebastian!” I caught him just before he disappeared through the door, “If you’re back in New York sometime, you should give me a call” at this point, I didn’t care if he was possibly attached to a tv actress or anyone else, so I handed him my card.

“Coffee is harmless, right?” he asked.

I nodded, “It is”

“Good. We’ll see how it goes.” He smiled at me reassuringly and I smiled back. I watched him go this time, feeling a little less hopeless. Holding onto the hope that he had the number, and there was a possibility. A very, very, very slight possibility, but a possibility nonetheless. I’ll take it.