Mistakes

OO1.

I was running late, as usual, when I decided to stop in Starbucks and get coffee. I was all ready late; what was another ten minutes? My best friend at the time, Allie, worked as a barista and she liked writing down all the 'secret' drinks that they could make that weren't featured on the menu.

"So I got your text," I said playfully, stepping up to the counter in front of Allie's register.

"So what'll it be this time?" she asked.

I pulled my phone out for reference. Honestly, the handful of drinks she sent me all sounded fucking amazing. "I'm gonna cave. That S'mores Frap sounds delicious as hell. Java Chip, if you don't mind."

"I got you, babe," Allie said, after I paid, and then stepped to the side to make my drink.

A tap on my back made me turn. "Uhm, did you really just order a S'mores Frappuccino? What even is that?" I heard the voice before I say the face, and I knew instantly that my face flushed. Literally the cutest boy I'd ever seen was standing there, talking to me. He looked so familiar...

"Oh my God. You're in my History class," I blurted suddenly, feeling shocked. I went to high school with this kid. I knew of him, but we weren't friends. He played guitar in a punk band and I was basically irrelevant. Music wasn't my scene. I didn't know enough about it to be relevant.

Cutie squinted his eyes at me in thought and I watched the realization hit him. "Fuck, you're right," he agreed and then looked suddenly incredibly bashful. "I'm such a dick, but I don't know your name. I'm David."

I smiled. "Kalel."

"Is that an intentional Superman reference or is that actually your name?" David asked.

"My Mom is a big superhero fan," I admitted, and then smiled at him. "I can't believe you knew that."

He smiled, and I swear to God I felt half in love with him that very second.

--------------------------------------------------

"You do know you don't have to do this, right, Kalel?" my best friend, Bradley, asked.

"I can't hide forever, Bradley," I told her.

It had been over a year since I'd seen David last. I left the letter I'd written him propped against the front door of our apartment and got on a plane back to Denver. I was there for most of the last year, honestly, hiding. Los Angeles left a sour taste in my mouth, and I couldn't go anywhere without thinking about David and the places we'd gone together. Granted, Denver wasn't much better, but I had always been a homebody. Maybe that's why I was insisting Bradley come with me to see the boys play, even though I needed to finish unpacking my things. But I missed my home, and I knew I couldn't stay away forever, no matter how much he'd hurt me.

I had definitely missed the streets of Los Angeles in my time away. They were so familiar to me, and even though I'd been back in Colorado for the last ten months, recalling street names and old places I knew became easy once I started re-orienting myself. Bradley and I went to get Thai food before heading to the venue where the boys were playing. My iPhone vibrated on the table and I smiled at the screen.

'Are you sure I can't tell David you're coming? Come on, Ellie. Please? He's gonna be so happy to see you.'

My thumbs were quick with my response. 'No. I still need to figure out what I'm going to say to him. I'm sorry, Kyle. I know you hate keeping secrets from him.'

'It's okay, Ellie. I understand. I'll see you when you get here, huh? Just grab Taste if you see him and make him let you in. Tell him he can talk to me if he's got a problem. I love you xx'

I set my phone back down and ignored the fact that Bradley had been watching me the entire time. "David?" she guessed.

"Kyle. I caved yesterday and went out on a limb sending him a text," I admitted, and then sighed. "I just really can't stay away. I've missed them. I miss him."

Bradley reached across the table and I let her take my hand. "I know you do, honey. Tonight will be good. We're seeing Jordan and them again, and the boys. It'll be a good night. You'll see."

I chain-smoked three cigarettes outside the House of Blues when we finally arrived. I stood across the street, staring at the kids all ready lined up to see their favorite bands. Was it sad that my eyes searched the buses lined up down the road, wondering which one held my heart? Bradley hadn't said much to me since I sat down on the sidewalk and started smoking. She just sat beside me, squeezing her hands between her knees, waiting for me to be done having a panic attack.

Taste, the boys' merch guy, came out of one of the trailers, carrying some stuff that I assumed was merch. When he turned, his eyes passed me briefly, and he almost dropped the box when he realized it was me. "Kalel?!" he asked, setting the box down as I came over to him. He embraced me fiercely and I was once again touched by how tight-knit this group was. Kyle and David may have been the main attractions, but they kept everyone who worked with and for them completely close. Taste was no different.

"Fuck, it's been so long, girl. Where you been?" Taste asked, leaning back to look me in the eye.

"I... went back to Denver when... we broke up, so," I said quietly and Taste softened completely, pulling me into him again.

"I'm so glad to see you again," he said genuinely.

"Me, too," I said softly and then looked up into his eyes again. "But listen, Kyle knows my friend and I are here. He said you'd let us in."

Taste nodded and smiled warmly over my shoulder at Bradley. "Sure, sure. I'll bring you guys in. No worries," he said easily. "Everyone calls me Taste," he introduced to Bradley.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bradley," she said.

Getting passed security was easy, since I supposed Kyle had let them know last minute that Brad and I were going to show up. Standing inside the venue, with my Pass clipped to my belt loop again from security, knocked the wind out of my chest. This was so familiar, coming to shows to see my boyfriend sing his heart out and do what he loved in front of a crowd of kids that screamed the lyrics back to him. God, I loved seeing him at shows. David was at one of his happiest moods when he was performing, and I loved that about him.

"I'm gonna order us a drink, okay? Why don't you go backstage and reunite with the boys?" Bradley suggested, touching my arm gently to get me out of my own head.

I looked over at her. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" I asked. I didn't know if she was trying to give me space, or just trying to give me the room to say I didn't want her there with me to see my ex-boyfriend and his best friend again. It wasn't true. I didn't mind her coming along, but Bradley didn't exactly give me an option. She squeezed my hand and then made her way to the bar. Guess I was going it alone.

The BC boys had played the House of Blues before, so I didn't have too much difficulty figuring out where the green room was. It was getting closer to when the doors opened, so I knew they'd be there, probably knocking back shots and getting pumped for the show.

A sheet of paper on the door that said 'Breathe Carolina' was the only indication I had to where their green room was. My hands were shaking. I had half a mind to turn around and walk away, but my hand shot up before I had a chance to stop it from knocking on the door.

"Enter at your own risk!" I heard David call, a laugh in his voice. I pushed the door open and watched the blood drain from David's face, dropping his phone completely in his shock.

"Kalel."