Status: we are savages <3

Mistakes

OO2.

OO2.

We'd put on a movie, but the main menu of the DVD had been playing for a while now. David and I had gotten distracted in each other a little bit, and somehow his shirt and my shorts were off and he was sporting a rather nice hickey on his neck with a matching one on my hip.

"I really love you, Ellie," David said quietly in the darkness, his tattooed arms wrapped warmly around me.

"I love you, too, Davey." I moved to rest my chin on my arm, laying comfortably between his legs. He had his eyes closed, but opened them to watch me when I moved. "I also really love your eyes. I hope you know that."

David snorted, like the attractive little bitch he was. "Oh, shut up, Elle. They're brown."

I shook my head. "They're not just brown! They're soft. You know I have a thing about eyes," I told him, smiling when he smiled at me. "You're eyes are like a nice Tootsie Roll, and I like that."

He started laughing, then, so violently that he turned and threw me on the ground, but since we were tangled under the blanket together, it pulled him down with me. And we just laughed more.


-------------------------------------------

"Kalel."

I couldn't look at him. I felt sick and excited and then more sick all at the same time. All the boys were there, and the first one of them to really react, other than David, was Eric. He came over to me and hugged me fiercely.

"God, it's good to see that face again," he said quietly against my hair. "Where you been, Elle?"

I was so close to crying, but I stayed tough. "Home. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye."

I'd missed them. They were my family. I unwrapped my arms from Eric's middle and he stepped back. David's entire face looking tortured, but the second I finally brought my eyes to his face, that look was gone. He was practically looking right through me.

"Ellie, we need to talk," David said suddenly and then came toward me. I was not prepared for that, so I took a few steps back, which made him stop.

"That's not a good idea," Kyle said suddenly, grabbing David's arm.

That made him angry. "Why the fuck not? I haven't seen Ellie in fucking forever, dude. Step the fuck off."

The desperation in his voice made the hole in my chest ache. "He's right, David. I didn't stay to talk. I just came... to say hi, I guess. And to let you guys know I was here."

David's eyes moved back to mine. "Can we talk outside, then? I just want a minute, Ellie. I swear."

I almost said no. I'd been waiting for this moment for over a year, and I was going to tell him no, to go fuck himself, but my head nodded before I had a chance to bitch him out. I turned on my heel and walked back out into the hallway. David followed me and pulled the door shut behind him.

"So you wanted to talk?" I asked, pressing my back against the wall, away from him.

Honestly, he didn't look like he wanted to talk. He looked like he wanted to hug me. He was twisting and untwisting his fingers, which was so unlike him. David didn't fidget, but I knew he was trying to keep himself away from me. I almost wished he would've hugged me, even though I knew I would've pushed him away.

"So how have you been, Kalel?" he asked, almost desperately.

I was so surprised by the sudden burst of white-hot anger that I didn't even have the chance to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. "How have I been, David? How the fuck do you think I've been? We haven't spoken in over a year, you broke my goddamn heart, and after all of that, you have the nerve to ask me how I've been? How fucking dare you."

He looked so hurt that it knocked the wind out of my sails so fast. "I'm so sorry, Kalel. I... I wanted to call. I was so stupid."

"Yeah, you should've called, David," I agreed, much cooler now. My intention was not to hurt him, no matter how much I thought he deserved it. Getting even would only make me feel like shit. "But that was a long time ago. I didn't come here to rake you over the coals. I just got back into town and I heard you were playing tonight and... I don't know. I wanted to see you, I guess."

"I'm so happy to see you," he said suddenly, and I offered him the smallest little smile. "Can I hug you?"

Once again, I wanted to tell him no, to go fuck himself, but my heart and my head were working against me. I nodded, and he came toward me, folding his arms around me carefully, like he still wasn't sure if I wanted him to hug me, but he pulled me into his chest fiercely.

"You feel so thin, Ellie," he said quietly, squeezing me so tightly.

I fought the tears as hard as I possibly could. Oh, God, could he really feel my bones? "I haven't been doing good since I lost you, David," I admitted, my throat thick with tears.

"Jesus Christ," he swore, dropping his forehead on my shoulder. "Fuck, I'm so, so sorry."

"I know you are, David," I said, after inhaling deeply to calm myself down. "And I've been trying to learn how to forgive you. But I need an explanation. That's part of why I came here tonight. I just want to know what I did wrong."

David opened his mouth to respond to me, but Josh, the boys' guitar man, pulled his attention away from me. "Hey, man. We're on soon. Sal wants us to get our shit together and head to the stage."

He looked at me, like he always did when he had to leave me to get on stage, like he was expecting me to tell him he couldn't go, so he could stay with me longer. "Will you stick around after the show? I don't think this conversation is over."

"Yeah, sure. Okay," I said, dazed. I took a step back, forcing David to unwrap his arms from around me. "I'll just come backstage or whatever, unless you guys are planning on sneaking out to get back on the bus."

"I'll text you to let you know," he said easily and then frowned. "Is your number still the same?" he asked, almost nervously.

I nodded. "Do you still have it?"

David hardly ever looked embarrassed by anything, but he looked embarrassed now. He kept it, after all this time? "Uh, yeah. So I'll text you?"

"Sure, David." I turned on my heel and climbed the stairs, skirting around the suddenly crowded venue.

When I finally made it to the bar, Bradley stood and gave me a tight squeeze. The music was loud, so she couldn't exactly ask me how it had gone. Jordan was just finishing up his set and he gave me a wink when I caught his eye. I thought maybe he'd forget about me after all this time, but apparently not. Once Jordan was done, I actually counted down the minutes it took to get a confused and happy text from the cutie, and I was not disappointed. Three and a half minutes later, I received my "when did you get here I'm so happy to see you come backstage!!" text. God, it was so good to see all these familiar faces. I hadn't realized I'd missed them all so much.

I was texting Jordan and talking to Bradley about what had gone on between David and I in the fifteen minute transition where the roadies were setting up the stuff for Breathe's set. I had finished one Appletini and ordered another by the time the lights went out. I turned and smiled, listening to the fans go nuts, louder and louder as each boy came out on stage. They were, naturally, the loudest when Kyle and David came on.

One of the best things about Breathe shows was that David never felt the need to introduce their songs to the kids. They just dropped some sick EDM beat and went nuts. The strobes were killer. It was like being at a rave, and the kids were having a fucking blast. They played three songs in a row before David grabbed the mic and finally addressed the kids.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" he asked and smiled when the kids screamed. "That's awesome, dude. Fuck, I'm so happy to be here again. LA goes fucking hard." He pushed his fingers through his hair and caught my eye. I smiled at him, which made him smile. He kept his eyes on mine as he continued to speak. "But anyway. I just wanted to let you guys know that someone really special to me is here tonight. I really fucked some shit up with her, as some of you guys might know if you creeped hard enough. But I'm really glad she's here, so we're gonna play her favorite song. That okay with you guys?"

The kids screamed and the beat dropped. I smiled. Hit and Run. It was the last song, that I knew of, that David had written about me. He'd written it when we were still happy together. No fighting, no sadness, no spending nights on the couch. We were happy, and they were playing it now. I tried not to look too deeply into what that meant, because David hardly ever gave enough of a shit to be that deep, but it meant something. What it was, I wasn't sure yet. But I knew he was sorry, and maybe playing this song was supposed to remind me that he hadn't wanted things between us to be nothing.

Maybe.
♠ ♠ ♠
Woot! Another chapter. Hope you guys enjoy. Also! A quick note: Kalel's name is pronounced like Kal-elle, which is how everyone ends up calling her Ellie or Elle. Just a fun fact. I like strange names. Comments would be so nice! xx