Just Not to Your Face

BRIAN ELWIN HANER JR. | INBOX | (0) Messages | (4) Replies | (305) Drafts | (4) Folders

:NEW MESSAGE:

Date: 06.04.11 Time: 02:00:43 AM

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To: Zacky Baker (vengeance_6661@bluezone.com)

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From: Brian Haner (SYN_GATES_@outlock.com)

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Type your message here:

Get that. Hi. I just lost count of how many times I've tried to write that mail… and that I forgot to put an hi at every single draft…

Why? WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I DO THIS, BAKER?

Don’t you say it. I’ll say it for you. I love you.

I’ll list my reasons if that’s what you’re asking for.

1) You say that what we had is gone. Its not. You’re admitting your love for me through this, even if you don’t want to believe it.
Or remember it. Its worth everything in the world for me right now. That’s a reason to love you. I wish I could make you remember the same colorful things.

2) You say you did this to us. And for us. If that meant, I wasn't ready to face the truth, I’ll take that. I wasn't ready to see the love of my life suffer through a pain worse than hell its self. Well let me ask you; Would you be ready for something like that? Wouldn't you panic? Get lost, wake up again to find out that you had failed.. Hopelessly tried to make it up again.. I know I did that to you, and I’m sorry Zacky. I’m just a man. Sorry.. that’s a worn out word by now isn't it? I wish there was a better word. Apology maybe. I apologize.
I love you for making me realize it.

3) You would always hit the right buttons. I know that we have a connection through our souls. And that we can’t just run from it.
You know this too. I love you for that.

4) You waited for me. I love you higher than heaven for that.

5) I wish you were happy. I love you for telling me this things. I’m gonna make you happy again. I promise.

6) You’re so honest. Deep inside, you trust me. I love you for that.

I could write a 1000 words and more about your appearance, your glory and your smile. About the things I love about you. You've already heard them though, and no, you won’t forget them. Why? Because I know what we have. Moreover, that you love me. Higher than heaven Zacky. That’s why I’m doing this.

My love, I’ll pay the price I’ll have to because of those oceans of despair. Maybe I’m desperate, but that’s one of those prices I would pay. Always.

Let me take care of you. I want you in my arms until the very end. I will never let you break, only heal. You and I can fill the holes together. That’s a promise I will keep.

I love you.

XO

Brian.