Just Not to Your Face

Brian.

You cut the swing, speeding off as if you have the devil on your trails. The tears are falling down your cheeks like small pieces of your heart, they’re gonna get dry and will be gone forever. Your prayers. You hope there’s a god up there who actually heard them, or if you were talking to a character made of fantasy that doesn’t make any difference at all. Its just that you need all the help you can get when it comes to this. Comes to the heart.

Shivering.

You pull into the hospital’s parking lot, turns of the engine, and don’t give a flying fuck if you get a parking ticket because you didn’t pay anything. You run into the hospital, grip the front desk violently, as you want to break the glass if the nurse behind it doesn’t open the hatch faster than anyone can blink. “Zacky Baker. I need to see him. Right fucking now.” Your stressed broken voice, makes the nurse use her most comforting face expression and hurriedly finds the right information for you. “ Second floor, to the left. He’s in Chemotherapy right now. Family?” She asks softly, pointing out the direction for you, as you nods and sprint pass her and towards the elevator.

The floor is 0. 1. 2. You’re there. The doors opens up and you almost tackle the first doctor you find there. “Zacky Baker? Where?” You pants, your brown eyes filled with so much desperation that the young doctor smiles weakly, as if that’s gonna help you, and mentions a room number for you.

You suddenly stop. Knowing that you’re only a few feet away the love of your life. You starts to shiver again, walks like a zombie towards the doors. You lay your hand on the door handle..

Zacky.

There’s many reason that you chose Charlene. First of all, she had many of Brian’s qualities. She was a brunette, with deep brown eyes, slender figure and a huge heart. She really didn’t deserve the way you treated her. All though she knew everything about your past, you still felt incredibly selfish about it. You had told her to find a man that she could love eternally when you were gone, and she had promised that to you. But right now, you were very happy that she had chosen to stay, at least as your friend. You weren’t much of a lover these days, burying yourself in your own misery and aching heart. Just one of the many reasons that you felt it was time to give up..

Until something happened that you had never expected. You had certainly underestimated him.

“Zacky.” His voice was like a whisper, he stood there in the door ay looking s\lost. Like a dog that had been kicked out form its home, and forced to live on the street for a couple of months, he stood there, completely heartbroken. You knew those eyes so well, every color that sparkled in the iris, every single feeling that they once had expressed about his love for you. And right now, those feelings mixed with pure sorrow, was shining back at you.

“Brian.” You chocked, the chemo making you worn out, but right now it wasn’t the chemo that stopped you from moving a muscle, it was the complete shock of him thinking you were worth fighting for.

“Charlene….” Brian begun when he spotted the girlfriend. He had almost forgotten about her existence. “I understand.” She said softly, walking past Brian and into the waiting room.

“Brian.. why are you here..” You couldn’t look at him, but you couldn’t take your eyes off him either. “I came for you.” The tears formed in your eyes again, weird.. like you hadn’t already cried buckets of them.. now they were here to express your feelings once more.

“I know..” You let them fall, watching the man you loved with pure sorrow, knowing but still questioning if this was true.

“It’s true Zacky. I don’t believe you when you say that I shall not come around anymore. Cause you know that I will do that.” Brian tried.

Even though there was now only about a meter between them, they were still miles apart in ways only they understood.

“I know you.” Brian smiled, it was a weak smile, but it was real. The only sparkle in it was because Zacky was sitting there in front of him. “I can’t let you go Zacky. When you die, I’ll die inside. I’ll be a living dead.”

Zacky shook his head furiously. “NO! You’re not gonna give up living for me! I know its too late already.” He trailed off, waiting for the reaction.

“Bullshit. BULLSHIT. Its never to fucking late!” Brian screamed, hot tears stinging in his eyes, making the doctors and nurses run in direction of the noise.

When they came in, Brian pointed a slender, tattooed finger at Zacky. “What are his chances? Answer me!”
The doctor adjusted his glasses carefully as he started to search through Zacky’s files, in a record speed as Brian looked scary where he stood.

Zacky could only stare in bewilderment, this was all too much happening at once.

“H-he may have a chance sir.” The doctor trembled under Brian’s stare.

“But it depends. He need a new bone marrow donated.” Brian shifted his gaze from the doctor and back to Zacky.

“We’ll find it.”