Guitars and Love Notes

Monday morning as Alex was walking up the steps to meet Jack, he was already planning his apology to Zack.

“So how was the party?” Jack asked with a smile as Alex sat down on the steps next to him.

“It would have been ten times better if you were there. I didn’t know anyone there, well except for Zack, but I kind of pissed him off and he ended up leaving,” he said with a shrug.

“That sucks,” Jack said as he shifted around to get a little bit more comfortable one the concrete steps of the school. “So are you going to apologize for pissing him off?”

“Yeah, I have to work on a project with the guy, might as well make sure that he doesn’t completely hate my guts,” he said with a laugh as he turned to open his guitar case wanting to play Jack a new song he wrote over the weekend. As he opened the case he couldn’t help but smile at the note he found on top of his guitar. “I really want to know how this Z person is getting these notes into my case without either of us noticing.”

“Well I’m oblivious,” Jack said with a shrug because they both knew it was true. “And the case is always behind you so you’d never see them unless you put your case in front of you; although that might spook them and stop them from leaving notes.”

“I definitely don’t want that. I honestly enjoy getting these notes every day,” he said with a smile as he put the note into his front pocket and pulled his guitar into his lap. After putting the strap over his head he pulled the pick from between the strings at the top of his guitar and strummed it a few times to make sure that it was still in tune. One he was sure that everything was tuned correctly he started playing his newest creation for his friend.



Walking into second hour Alex couldn’t help but stop in his tracks when he saw Zack already sitting there. He had been planning his apology to Zack since the boy had walked out of his house the night before, but now that he saw him all the apologizes he thought of were gone.

“Want to keep walking?” Lisa asked shoving Alex forward into the room causing him to stumble slightly.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said looking back at her with a small smile.

“Whatever,” she said brushing past him and going to her seat. He didn’t even have to ask, but he knew that she was still bitter over the break up and the fact that he picked Zack to be his partner on Friday and not Lisa.

“Morning Zack,” he said as he slid into his seat and set his backpack at his feet.

Zack didn’t even bother acknowledging Alex except for a small head nod and a slight frown.

“So… I wanted to apologize for being an ass yesterday,” he said even though he still wasn’t sure on exactly what he did that was so wrong, except saying he may have treated Zack differently because of his parents situation.

“Alex don’t; I should be the one who is apologizing,” Zack said as he looked over at Alex a bit sheepishly. “I had no reason to yell at you, you were just trying to be nice to me after learning that my parents really suck at being parents and I appreciate it.”

“Well than you can make it up to me by typing up our paper later because I don’t know if you noticed on Friday or not but I’m a horribly slow typer,” he said with a bright smile.

“Sounds like a deal,” Zack said with a laugh before turning his attention to the front of the class room as their teacher called the class to order.



Three days later and things were starting to fall into a routine. Every morning Alex would sit on the steps and talk to Jack, like he’s always done, but it was more exciting now because he got a note every morning that made him smile. After that he would go to first hour and nothing exciting would really happen then. On the way to second hour it was like Lisa always made sure she was behind Alex, because if he wasn’t walking fast enough into the room, which for her he never way, Lisa always made sure he knew about. The rest of the day would go by uneventful until after school when Alex would meet Zack in the library to work on their project.

They still had about two weeks until their project was due, but they were so close to finishing it already they figured that it might be done by the following Wednesday. As happy as Alex was that he was going to be done with this project, he couldn’t help but be a tiny bit upset by the fact that he wouldn’t get to see the other boy after school every day once they were done.

Today seemed to start off just like every other day. He got his note in the morning. He got annoyed by Lisa when he walked into second hour and he actually felt like he passed his Math text in sixth hour. With a smile on his face he went to his locker and got out all the books he would need for his homework that night and made his way to where Zack was waiting in the library.

“Ready to get to work?” Alex asked cheerfully as he set his stuff down and started pulling out his computer.

“Yeah, let’s get working,” Zack said with a frown as he put his phone down and pulled Alex’s computer over towards himself knowing that Alex would ask him to type the assignment anyways.

“Alright, well here’s what I wrote up last night that needs to be typed,” he said as he flipped his notebook open to the right page before sliding it across to Zack.

Without a word Zack started typing not responding to Alex when he said he was going to start working on the conclusion of the paper. Taking his silence as an okay Alex just went ahead and wrote the end of their paper. He figured that it would be okay since Zack was tying it all if he found something wrong with it, or something he didn’t like he could easily change it.

The one thing that Alex found weird was that Zack who he had never really seen with a cell phone was constantly texting. After timing it Alex realized that about every forty five seconds Zack would pick up his phone, read whatever was sent to him, respond and then go back to typing. He couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with Zack’s friend or whoever he was texting, because with every message Zack read, the angrier he appeared.

“So I figure if we finish typing up our paper today we can spend the next few days editing the crap out of it and making it the best paper we can,” Alex said, thinking that Zack was listening while tapping his pencil on the table to beat he was making up in his head.

While Alex was babbling about all the great things that they could do to their paper, and about how one of them would need to get a poster board over the weekend so they could make their poster on Monday, Zack was continuing to text on his phone.

Finally there was a break in Zack’s texting that Alex was taking as a good sign. He was able to type for ten minutes straight before his phone started buzzing again. Alex was hoping that Zack would just ignore the text and finish the paper, but his hopes where quickly dashed as Zack glanced down at his phone and quickly started gathering up his stuff.

"Sorry Alex, but I really have to go," he said as he worked on zipping his backpack while trying to shove his notebooks in, which caused it to end up the backpack bent.

Stunned Alex sat there staring at Zack’s vacant spot for a minute before realizing the boy left his notebook on the table in his haste.

“Zack wait, you forgot your notebook,” he said the end of his sentence being a whisper once he realized that Zack had already exited the library. Shoving the notebook into his own bag, Alex made a mental note to give it back to the boy tomorrow in class.



Sitting in his room staring at Zack’s notebook Alex couldn’t help but let his curiosity get the best of him. Wanting to know if Zack wrote song lyrics along the margins of his notebook like Alex did, or if he just doodled along the sides, Alex flipped the book open and took a look. The first thing he noticed was how neat the notebook looked; things were color coated and the important vocab words were highlighted in all different colors. It was no wonder Zack was so freaking smart, and always prepared. The second thing he noticed was the handwriting, it was so familiar, but he couldn’t seem to place it.

Before he could give the handwriting too much thought he heard his phone starting to ring. Turning around and grabbing the device off his bedside table and looked at the screen to see Jack’s smiling face, signaling that his friend was calling.

“What’s up Barakat?” Alex said as he answered the call and put the phone to his ear.

“I was thinking off a way to find out who your secret admirer is,” he said sounding far away while something crashed. Alex knew for a fact that Jack had him on speaker phone while he was going around the house doing his chores, and due to the shit that came after the crash he was pretty sure that he ended up breaking something of value.

“And what’s that brilliant plan of yours?” he asked as he held the phone using his shoulder while he got off his bed and grabbed the box of letters from his desk. He didn’t know why, but now every time Jack mentioned the letters he would grab them and reread them.

“Get one of those little spy cameras and put it in your guitar case so we can see who’s opening it and slipping the note in,” he said excitedly making Alex laugh as he sat back down and opened up his box.

Still laughing at his friend he pulled out the first note he received and started to read it before things finally hit him.

“Alex, you still there?” Jack said finally taking his phone off of speaker and putting it to his ear.

“I don’t think we’ll have to use a camera,” he said as he picked up Zack’s notebook with his free hand and compared it against the note in his hand and couldn’t help but smile when he noticed that the handwriting was basically identical. “I know who it is.”

“What? Who? How did you figure it out?” Jack asked and just by the sound of his voice Alex knew he was pacing the room he was in trying to figure out how Alex could figure out what they’ve been trying to figure out for the last few weeks.

“It’s Zack,” he said still not taking his eyes off of the two pieces of papers trying to figure out how he never knew it was Zack before. He sees Zack every day, wouldn’t he have noticed the guy liked him.

“Once again I ask how did you figure it out? I would have thought we would have had to go into super spy mode to figure it out,” Jack said with a sigh. “I even got one of those spy cameras.”

“Sorry, but I figured it out because he forgot his notebook at the library today. The hand writing is identical. How did I not figure this out sooner?” he said more to himself than to Jack.

“So are you going to confront him tomorrow?”

“No, I’m going to make him come out with it,” Alex said with a smile as his mind started reeling.

“How do you plan on doing that exactly?”

“Just wait and see,” he said as he hung up on his friend and put away the notes from Zack.



The next morning after pulling into the school parking lot Alex pulled out his notebook and quickly scribbled out a note and folded it up before writing a large letter Z on it before putting it in his case right on top of his guitar. He wasn’t sure how Zack was always getting the notes into his case, but he hoped that Zack would open it up enough to see the note that Alex left for him. Alex wasn’t going to come out and tell Zack he knew about his notes, he was hoping that after enough notes between the two of them he could convince Zack to meet him somewhere.

He didn’t know if it was the note in his case for Zack, or just the fact that he got a lot of sleep last night, but as he was walking up the stairs to his normal morning seat, he had that extra spring in his step.

“What’s got you so happy?” Jack asked laughing at his best friends chipper mood as he moved his backpack and let Alex sit down.

“I’ll tell you in a few minutes,” he said with a bright smile as he set his case down to his left, yet slightly behind him just like every other morning, while pulling his backpack in between his legs and opening it to make sure he didn’t forget the review packet he needed from his fifth hour that he spent all night on.

“And why exactly can’t you tell me right now?” he asked making Alex look up at him through the fringe while still leaning over his backpack.

“Because that will compromise everything and I can’t let that happen,” he said as he pulled out the needed review pack and started double checking it just to make sure he didn’t miss anything. He really didn’t want to miss a single thing on it because they had to have it completely filled out for their teacher to let them use it while they took their midterms later that day.

“Seriously Alex, you’re starting to worry me. What’s got you so happy? Did you get laid last night?”

“No Jack, I didn’t get laid,” Alex said with a laugh as he declared that yes he did finish his review packet.

“So then what’s got you so happy?”

Without a word Alex turned around and opened his guitar case, smiling when he saw a new note lying upon the strings. His smile got even wider when he saw that his note was gone, meaning Zack found it.

“It worked,” he said as he turned to Jack, continuing to smile as he read his newest note.

You have no idea how much I love helping you with these notes. I love seeing the smile on your face when you read them. Some days I wish we could speak face to face so that I could see your smile up-close and maybe you could even help me with my own. But until then, I love seeing your smile from across the campus. -Z

“And what exactly worked?” Jack asked as he pulled the note out of Alex’s hand and started reading it for himself since Alex was smiling too much like an idiot to read it aloud.

“My plan to get a note to Zack,” he said the smile never fading as he reached over and grabbed the note back from Jack. “I’m planning on leaving him notes for the next few days in hopes of getting him to meet with me by next Friday.”

“Well doesn’t that sound like fun?” Jack said while wiggling his eyebrows at Alex. “We know he likes you so are you going to sleep with him the night you meet up with him, or are you going to wait awhile first?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I even want to be with a guy,” Alex said with a groan as he leaned his head forward and rested it in his hands.

“I thought you were bi?” Jack asked wanting to know what was going through his best friends head.

“I never really said that I was bi before,” Alex said turning his head slightly to look at his friend while shrugging. “Yeah, I can admit some guys are extremely hot, but I don’t know if that qualifies me as bi, because I still prefer girls.”

“Bi people have preferences,” he said hoping to comfort his friend. “You can like Zack, but still prefer girls.”

“I know,” he said sounding as though this was the toughest thing in the world. “I just don’t know if I want to be with a guy. I don’t know if I could be with a guy.”

“Well if you don’t plan on meeting up with him until next week then I guess you have a week to think about things and decide if you could ever see yourself with Zack.

“You’re right,” Alex said as the bell rang. “I just want this day to get over with so that I can go home and do a lot of thinking over this weekend,” he said as he grabbed his bag and guitar and started walking into the school.

“Well just remember you promised to go to that party with me tonight, so your weekend of thinking will have to start Saturday when you get over your hangover,” he said with a laugh as he and Alex went their separate ways to their individual classes.



After knowing that Zack received his note that morning Alex couldn’t wait to get to second hour to see if Zack seemed happier than normal because of the note. Alex was imagining him sitting there glowing, excited because Alex was finally acknowledging his notes in a way.

Alex’s smile quickly fell when he walked into class and Zack wasn’t sitting there in his normal seat, which was weird because for the last few weeks Zack was always there before him. Sitting down in his seat Alex couldn’t help but get slightly excited every time he saw someone start walking into the class, thinking that it was Zack every time. But when the student would round the corner and not be Zack, Alex would slouch down into his seat and pray that Zack would be walking into that door sooner rather than later.

Twenty minutes into class Alex finally decided that Zack definitely is not coming to class today. He was starting to worry that maybe his note scared off Zack. Maybe Zack wanted things to stay how they were; Zack leaving notes and Alex just smiling every time he read them. But then again Zack’s note today did say he wished they spoke face to face, plus his other notes said some of the same things. So why was Zack missing from class today.



“So did Zack look happy in class today because of your note?” Jack asked as he started getting changed, since they decided they would get ready for the party at Alex’s house.

“I wouldn’t know, he wasn’t even there,” Alex said as he balled up the shirt he had just taken off and chucked it into his laundry hamper.

“Why wasn’t he there?”

“How would I know? I walked into class expecting to see him, but he wasn’t even there. How is it he gave me the note that morning and then just left school? Not only did we have our project to work on, but I was really hoping to talk to him,” he said as he searched through his closet hoping to find something nice to wear to the party.

“Maybe something came up,” Jack suggested with a shrug as he picked up the straightener they had warming up in the bathroom and started straightening his hair.

“Or maybe he got my note, and decided he didn’t want to talk to me so he skipped out on class,” Alex growled as he pulled out a nice plaid button up and pulled it on.

“I highly doubt that one man,” Jack said peeking out of the bathroom to see Alex just that little bit better. “He’s been saying in his notes that he wished you two could talk face-to-face; heck he even said he wanted to date you, so I think it’s safe to say he had something important come up or else he would have been there.”

“Well I guess we’ll have to wait and see if he’s there on Monday before we jump to too many conclusions,” Alex said as he made his way past Jack and started doing his own hair.

“Alex I’m sure Zack wouldn’t avoid you on purpose. If he didn’t want to meet in person, and just dreamed of it I think he would have told you in the next note, not just avoided you,” Jack said as he put the straightener down and turned to his friend.

“Seriously Jack, can we just drop this and go drink the night away. I really just want to forget about today,” he said before picking up the straightener and fixing his own hair.

“Fine, but hurry up and get ready, I want to leave soon,” he said after he picked up his phone and saw that it was already nearing nine o’clock. Yes, most people were still getting ready for the party and wouldn’t be there until nine thirty, but the sooner they got there the sooner they could both get drunk.

Ten minutes and a lot of hair spray later the two boys were in the car and on the way to the party of the night.

“So where exactly is this ‘amazing party’ you’re taking me too?” Alex asked hoping that if they both got too drunk he could easily walk home without getting lost.

“Remember that off campus house we were at for the last party?” he asked looking over just in time to see Alex nod his head. “Well this ones at the same place. From what I hear the guys that live there are total party animals. If only we didn’t have school on Thursdays I would say we should go to their annual Wednesday night party. I’ve heard that it’s even crazier than the one we were at last week, and that one was pretty crazy.”

“You know, I honestly don’t remember the party last week being too wild or crazy,” Alex said as he pulled out his phone and started looking through things, because he just needed something to do with his hands.

“That’s because if you remember correctly last time we went to a party at this house you had no idea what really happened. I still remember you saying you saw Zack there doing homework, which probably never happened. I’m just kind of shocked you don’t remember that girl table dancing, and then having to stop because she was about to puke,” he said with a laugh as he parked on the block of the house party, making sure that his car was far enough away that nothing too bad would happen to it.

“Yeah, let’s hope that doesn’t happen again,” Alex said as he got out of the car and then checked his hair in the side mirror just to make sure everything was still laying nicely.

“Let’s get drinking,” Jack said as he walked around the car and threw his arm over Alex’s shoulder as he led them towards the house that had music pumping out through the windows.

The boys were less than an hour into the party Jack was already heavily intoxicated, and leaning up against a doorframe hitting on a college senior pretending that he too was graduating college in the spring, not high school. Alex, who was still nursing his first bottle of beer couldn’t help but laugh at his friend and how easily the boy thought of lies as he accidently named his high school English teacher, rather than make up some unknown professor the girl he was with would never question.

Wanting to get away the loud music for a minute, yet still observe his drunk friend work his ‘magic’ on the blonde college girl Alex walked up the stairs and took a seat on the top step and set his now empty beer bottle down next to him.

Five minutes later when the girl threw a drink in Jack’s face and walked away, it was obvious to Alex that Jack let it slip that he was still in high school. He couldn’t help but laugh when Jack looked up at Alex with a pout on his face.

“It’s not funny,” Jack shouted up at his friend while flipping him the bird before he turned back towards the kitchen with the intention of getting another beer and finding another girl to try and hook up with.

Still laughing at Jack’s misfortune, Alex stood up and decided to hang around upstairs for a while. Most of the partying was in fact going on downstairs, but all the drunk idiots trying to run to the bathroom before they threw up was something funny to watch too.

As he was walking around upstairs Alex couldn’t help but feel as though he did it before, but then again he could have seeing as he was at a party at this very house last weekend. Only doesn’t side about walking around upstairs was that finally, when he got shoved into a walk for the tenth time by some couple hoping to find an empty room before their hormones got to be too much and they had sex in the hallway, he decided he’d either explore one of the rooms, or maybe even just go downstairs.

Letting his memory lead his way Alex found himself opening the same door he remember opening last weekend, and finding the exact same sight; Zack sitting on the bed doing homework. Except this time around the boy looked like he hadn’t slept in days and it was blatantly obvious that he was having a tough day.

“Feeling okay?” Alex asked as he walked in and closed the door behind him not wanting anyone to bother Zack.

“Alex, what are you doing here?” Zack asked as he looked up and saw Alex moving a few books aside so that he could take a seat at the end of the bed.

“I came to this awesome party,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Although it’s not as awesome as I was hoping it would be.”

“Well maybe it’s because you’re not as drunk as you were last time,” he said with a laugh as he gathered up some of the books that Alex had moved and put them on his bedside table.

“So I wasn’t crazy last time when I thought I saw you here. I thought that I was going crazy,” he laughed.

“Nope, you aren’t crazy, at least as far as I know,” Zack said with a shrug as he wrote something down in his notebook, probably the answer to a math question since his math book was in his lap.

“Is it safe to say that this is why you weren’t in school today?” he asked gesturing to Zack’s extremely disheveled appearance.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Mind if I ask why exactly you look so worn out? Yesterday when we were working on our project you were just fine; well that is until you quickly left, what changed?”

“It’s nothing too bad, just some family issues that I’m having a hard time dealing with,” he said shifting around nervously, hoping that Alex wouldn’t trying prying more information out of him.

“Oh, well do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really,” Zack said moving his math book off of his lap and moving it aside realizing that Alex was planning on talking more so he wouldn’t be able to get too much work done.

“Well, if you need someone to talk to I’m here,” Alex said with a shrug as he held out his arms as if to prove his point that yes, he was in fact here.

“Thanks, but I think this is something I need to deal with on my own, at least for right now,” Zack said with a small smile.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, what’s a guy like you doing living in an off campus college housing unit?” Alex asked completely changing the subject, something that Zack really appreciated.

“Remember how I told you that my parents didn’t really want anything to do with me?” he asked waiting for Alex’s head nod before continuing. “Well my brother, who’s basically like my best friend took me in. I’ve been living here with him and his two friends since my parent divorce last year.”

“Really?” Alex asked looking excited. “That’s awesome. With how often they throw parties I bet you are in heaven here.”

“I’m not really the party kind of guy. I’d much rather live somewhere with less noise and parties, but living with someone who actually wants me around makes it all worth it in the end.”

Before their party could continue anymore Zack’s door was thrown up and some guy was standing there, trying his best to hold an extremely intoxicated Jack up.

“Is this your friend?” the guy asked pointing towards Alex making Jack look up at him.

“Alex,” Jack slurred out excitedly as he started stumbling towards the bed, with the help of his escort so that he didn’t fall flat on his ass.

“Whoa there buddy,” Alex said as Jack got closer and he had to help Jack sit down properly.

“I’m so happy I found you,” Jack yelled, louder than necessary as he wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck.

“Is he okay?” Alex asked looking towards the guy who’s name he still didn’t know that was watching them.

“Yeah, I found him in a room talking to himself, I figured it was best to find someone to take him home,” the guy said with a shrug. “Do you need me to get these guys out of here Zack?”

“No, their friends from school,” Zack said with a smile, waving as the guy nodded and left his room.

“So… who was that?” Alex asked looking over at Zack while Jack was playing with a loss string on Alex’s shirt.

“My brother.”

“Oh, well he seems nice,” Alex said while ignoring Jack as he started singing whatever was on his mind.

“Need help getting him to your car?” Zack asked looking at Jack trying to figure out if the kid was going to get sick on his bedroom floor or not.

“Nah, I should be good,” he said as he grabbed Jack under the arms and heaved the lanky kid up and started leading him out of the room. “Hopefully no other drunken idiots will find their way into here. See you at school on Monday,” he smiled as he finally got Jack through the doorway and shut the door behind himself.

“Did I interrupt you and your little boy toy,” Jack slurred as they made their way through the living room and towards the front door.

“Zack is not my boy toy,” Alex said with a shake of his head as he quickly pulled Jack out of the way as some girl ran out of the house and to the nearest bushes.

“Alex and Zack sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” he sang loudly drawing the attention of everyone on the lawn as they walked down the street.

Feeling a pair of eyes on him, Alex quickly turned around and looked up in time just to see Zack, who was definitely watching them go close his curtains.

“So did you ask him out?” Jack asked as they got to the car and Alex had Jack lean against the car so he could search Jack’s pockets for the keys. “How would your boyfriend feel if he knew you were feeling me up right now?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, and I’m not feeling you up. I’m just getting the car keys from you,” Alex said holding them up in Jack’s face just to prove his point.

“Alex you were feeling me up,” he slurred as Alex opened his car door and forced him into the car.

“You’re sleeping at my house tonight,” Alex said before slamming the door shut on Jack stopping him from saying anything else.

“What if I don’t want to stay at your house,” Jack whined as Alex got into the driver’s seat and started the car.

“Too bad because we took your car tonight, and I don’t want to stay at your house, nor do I want to bring you your car tomorrow; so deal with it,” he said as he turned right at the corner and made his way to his house.

“I don’t have to sleep on the floor, do I?” he asked slouching down into his seat.

“No Jack, you don’t have to sleep on the floor, you just have to be quiet because my parents are going to be sleeping when we get there. I don’t need your loud drunk mouth waking them up.”