Silly Fears

The rain beat angrily on the window pane as you paced the length of your small kitchen. It was well after midnight, and sleep had not came to you on this night. In fact, it had been quite absent from you for several nights, it seemed. Of course, your husband seemed none the wiser, for as soon as his head landed on his pillow, his eyelids slipped closed in sleep. You envied his ability to rest, though he had well earned it. Bofur worked long hours in his toy shop everyday, trying to make ends meet. Yes, his rest was quite deserved.

You did your part to support the household as well, though. You worked as a seamstress in your small village, but business wasn't exactly as good as you would like. No one seemed to be needing anything aside from their same old clothes mended and cleaned. It had been months since you last sewed a brand new dress or pair of trousers. People just didn't seem to have it. Times had gotten rough in the Blue Mountains, and everyone was feeling the effects.

After a few moments of pacing you paused to fill the kettle with water and place it over the wood stove in the corner. If sleep would not come, then you might as well have a cup of tea. At least it would calm your nerves a bit, if only for a short while. As the water boiled, you scooped some tea leaves into your mug and searched the cupboards for a bit of honey. You didn't always take honey in your tea, that had been something Bofur had introduced you to. A small smile played at your lips as you remembered the fond memory not too many years ago, the day you first met Bofur. The young dwarf had taken cover in your home from a storm, not unlike the one that raged on outside the small cabin at that very moment. When you placed a warm mug of tea in front of the still shivering man, he politely, and rather shyly asked if you had any honey. You thought it a strange request, but placed a small crock of the sweet substance in front of him. It was a memory you would never forget.

The screeching whistle of the kettle brought you out of your thoughts and back into the present. You scrambled to the stoves and quickly pulled the kettle off, hoping the sound didn't awaken your husband. He would be rising soon enough anyway, but he needed his sleep. In no time you had your cup of tea and has taken a seat in the rocker in front of the fire. You sipped slowly as you stared into the flames which had began to die down. Your free hand rested on your slightly rounded abdomen rather protectively. This was the reason for your anxiety.

As far as you could tell, you were only four months gone and the small bump on your stomach had not yet became noticeable beneath your dress. You hadn't even told Bofur yet. How could you tell your husband that you were expecting a child. Another mouth to feed when you barely had enough to get by? What would he think of you? Of the child? Bofur was a kind man, but still you feared his reaction.

You placed your mug on the side table before rising from the chair and walking toward the trunk in the corner. You dropped to our knees and lifted the lid, reaching inside to gently lift a small grey blanket, a smile tugging at your lips. You had started working on the woven cover once you were sure of your suspicions. You knew that your child would be born in late autumn, and would be needing a good blanket for warmth. Gently you refolded the blanket after a few moments, placing it back into the trunk before standing. A small gasp escaped you lips as you felt a pair of warm arms wrap around your waist, resting right above your bump. You felt your stomach turn with nerves, but you did all you could to hide it. “Bofur.” You breathed, smiling as he turned you in his arms,though the smile faded once you saw the look of concern witten on his face. “Bofur what's the matter?” You question, your eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“I think I should ask you that question, my darlin'.” He spoke, bringing his hand to gently cup your cheek, his thumb caressing the darkened skin under your eyes softly. “You haven't been sleeping..” It wasn't a question, but a statement.

You shook your head. “No..” You admitted, “not very much.” You looked into his brown eyes, subconsciously biting your lower lip. So he had noticed your insomnia..

“What troubles you, y/n?” He asked, his eyes showing the concern that you heard his voice. “You've gone so long without sleep...I wish you would share with me what is bothering you.”

“Don't be silly, I'm fine.” You force a smile, hoping he buys the excuse. You wouldn't be so fortunate, however. He saw right through your lie. You knew he would...You couldn't keep anything from your husband.

“You're not fine.” He insisted, removing his hand from your face only to reach for your hands, grasping them gently in his own. “Please tell me what's wrong, love. You're worrying me.” He was pleading you not only in his voice, but with his eyes. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, I promise I'll understand.”

You shook your head. “Bofur, please..”

“No.” He shook his head. “Something has been bothering you for weeks, y/n. I want to know what it is.” He was firm in his request, and you knew he would not allow you to drop the subject. There was no sense in fighting it.

“Bofur..” You closed your eyes, your fingers pinching the bridge of your nose as your pondered your words. How will you tell him? Would you even tell him? He already saw through your excuse, and you couldn't bear the thought of telling your husband another untruth, He deserved to know. You opened our eyes to meet his gaze once more. “Bofur. I...” You bit your lip, taking his hands and gently placing them on your slightly swollen abdomen. You searched his face for a reaction, but saw none. He stood perfectly still, his hands placed lightly on your stomach. His expressionless eyes were fixed on yours.

Suddenly his eyes widened as if realization hit him. A small smile tugged at his lips. “Is this..Are you...” He paused, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, his grin widening. You felt tears welling in your eyes as well as he gently caressed your stomach. “Are you with child, darlin?” He asked, though he already knew the answer. He needed confirmation.

You nodded your head slowly, allowing a few tears to slip down your cheeks as you relased the breath your didn't realize you were holding. “Yes.” You whispered, placing your hand on Bofur's cheek gently. Before you could say another word, his lips were upon yours. Your eyes slipped closed as you returned the kiss with just as much passion as he had began the kiss with. You pulled back slightly, meeting his gaze once more. “You're not angry?” You questioned, your voice barely above a whisper.

Bofur's eyebrows knit in confusion as he searched your eyes. “Angry?” He questioned, “Why would I be angry, my love? This is the happiest news I have ever received.”

You bit your lip, feeling ashamed. “Life has grown difficult in the Blue Mountains.” You explained. “I haven't sold a dress in months, Bofur. And you haven't sold any toys, either. We're barely surviving as it is...I wish not for this child to be a burden on you.” You whisper, looking away from your husband. How could you look at him after that admission. You expected him to respond in anger, however that is not the response you receive. Instead, you feel his finger gently hook under your chin, raising it gently to meet his gaze. The look in his eyes nearly broke your heart.
“How could this child be a burden, my love, when I have prayed to Mahal for a child? I have longed for a child for so long, y/n.”

“As have I.” You whisper, “And I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how. Please forgive me.”

Bofur shook his head, bringing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. “You're already forgiven, my love.” He smiled and pecked your lips once more before dropping to his knees, placing his hand on your stomach gently, almost reverently. The look in his eyes was one of complete joy. He gently rubbed circles over your bump before placing a soft kiss to your stomach over your nightgown. It was then that you allowed the tears to fall once more as you ran your fingers through the loose strands that had fallen out of his braid. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with complete adoration. “Don't worry another moment, darlin. Not another moment. Everything is going to be just fine.”

And it would be. You had no reason to doubt your husband. Everything would be fine as you opened a new chapter in your life together.