Coma Black

I rolled back over in my share of quilt and buried my puzzled head slightly into the pillows that puffed out with small feathers. My eyes flickered at the sight of sunrise, i could just see the gold lining the sky as it lit up, i didn't get any sleep that night. I couldn't stop thinking of what i'd done, my dried lips felt soar, i dragged my partly damp tongue across them, in short attempt to give them some form of moisture. It tasted sour, i imagined this is what betrayal tasted like. Bitter and sharp.

I pulled my tongue back into my mouth, my moth felt hollow and in-complete. My house never felt like a home, but this morning, i felt like a complete stranger. I didn't belong here, how i'd love to wonder and stroll down unknown roads and just ... get lost in this small world, but i was a host to Daisy and, well, i wasn't allowed to leave. I blinked away what tears that had sprung from behind my limp eye lids.
I sat up abruptly and patted my wild hair until it was tame and well, at the least presentable to any unexpected visitors. I calmly turned my head from left to right, taking in the view of my perfectly messed up bed room. My eyes had finally landed on the empty space in bed, where i thought Daisy had slept. Maybe this was some vivid dream, i couldn't tell what was reality anymore, there was no line between dreams and reality, not since Marilyn left.
My hand gently smoothed over the creases on the bed dirty white sheets, my arm immediately felt weak and i slumped my back up against the bed board and lowered my head into my trembling hands, they felt hard and smelt of alcohol.

I could hear a faint vibration from the bedside table, i didn't bother to look straight away, i with-drawled my hands and finally set eyes on my phone, someone was calling me, my heart sunk in my chest, what if it was Marilyn? What if he had some how got word of Daisy and I? I swallowed hard and gradually picked up the phone, "private number". Finally gathering up my courage, I answered the phone and cautiously begun to speak, softly and barley audible. "Hello?" I asked, dragging my frail and bruised knees out from underneath the covers and up to meet my frantic chest, i could feel my heart beat rise, my chest fall and automatically pick up its pace. "Twiggy?" a familiar voice trailed back to me, tears rising from behind my eyes and dancing on my eyelids, threatening to fall and make a mess of myself.

"Marilyn? Marilyn is that you?", my voice sounded distressed yet excited, i wanted to jolt around and swing my feet around like some teenage girl in a classic American movie, but i also wanted to throw the phone at the wall and pull my hair out as i cried in the darkest corners of my mind.
"Yes, I've , missed you so- so much Twiggy... I fell bad for how i left you, and i know i haven't calle-" he began to talk, but i cut him off mid sentence.
"It's you- it's really you, Marilyn, I've missed you so fucking much!" my hands trembling and i could just about contain myself from shaking the phone out pf my hand and sobbing like a mental patient.
"Is everything okay? you sound worried!", his voice hinted concern, but his voice sounded dominant as if he demanded an explanation for why i sounded this way.

"I just miss you- that's all..." I was unsure if i tell him about Daisy or wait for his return. "Is that all?" He asked calmly, "Yeah, I promise" i sighed, i snaked my arm around me shins and cuddled me knees further until they touched my chin. The golden sun pouring through the window, leaving the glittery trails of dust in it's wake, as the tree's swayed mechanically in the wind, the sun danced around the dull room, lighting up the entire room. Manson and I talked for maximum 30 minutes, we didn't really make a complete conversation, Marilyn just told me about his new house. About his new garden with hedges so high so that the neighbors couldn't see him, He mentioned his pool in which he had already skinny dipped with a wanna-be groupie that had waited his arrival so they could "tail his ass". he described them as creepy and clingy, but he was new to the area and well, i couldn't blame him for inviting them in. He made me laugh and he tightened my chest, just with his words. If this is what love felt like, then i hate love, everything about love. He told me about some Christians that tried picketing his front yard, but the power of Satan scared them off, "that and a law suit" he said.

When he finally said "I've got to head out now, It was nice finally hearing your voice, I promise i'll call as soon as i can Twiggs"... I said my goodbyes and wished him the best of luck, i couldn't bring myself to push down on the hang up button, the small black phone still pressed up against me ear. Eventually i heard the flat phone line sound though the phone, i then forced my thumb down on the button and carelessly tossed it across the bed, it gently bounced on the springy mattress.
Just as i had done so, Daisy entered. "Your'e awake! good" he rolled next to me and placed his soft hand on my stray knee. I didn't mean to reject his gesture, but i just dropped my knee back down and swung my legs off the side of the bed, "Yeah, I- had a rough night i guess" i answered. "Oh, was- was it -" I could already tell what he meant, and yes it bothered me a lot more than it should have. "Not so much.... It was just one of those nights..." I replied as enthusiastically as i could, but my voice was toneless and boring. I tilted my head so that i was facing him partly.
A small fake smile spread across my deceiving face, "it's nothing" i said in a huff as i pushed myself onto the floor and gained my balance before exchanging another small gentle grin, my lips curved and i only wanted to lock myself away from the world, but i was determined to be happy, with or with out Marilyn. Although i could already foresee how 'it' was going to go down next time i came face to face with Marilyn or maybe by some miracle, Brian.

I would probably be off my face on acid, i would've probably hooked up with Daisy a couple more times and maybe, just maybe a few drunken nights with a girl or two, and when it all came back to Marilyn, i would be on the floor in tears, and this was only the beginning.