Study of Life and Love

Sidney

I blinked tiredly, eyes trained on the words written in Latin across the textbook page. The words were small block letter, barely spaced and had begun to run into each other, creating one long sentence that was making zero sense to my conscious mind.

I rubbed my eyes, frustrated, before pushing my face closer to the book that rested on the table. As if the closeness of how I read would ensure whether I understood it or not.

I jumped when a hand smacked down over my textbook. I glared up at the person who had sat down across from me to see a confused Niall waving his other hand in front of my face then waving to the earplugs in my ear. I sighed before pulling them up and dumping them back into their packet.

“Why the fuck are you wearing earplugs?” Niall asked, his word choice always so colourful.

“To block out noise.” I replied.

“You’re in the library.” He waved his hand wildly around us, like I was unaware where I had chosen to sit.

“Exactly, so you should probably stop talking.” I reached for my textbook to pull it closer but Niall was too quick. Grabbing it and slamming it shut, face down on his side of the desk. I frowned at his interruption.

I cross my arms petulantly and glared at Niall. I wasn’t in the mood for his jokes or games or whatever. I needed to study.

Niall seemed to eye me for a moment before he glanced down at the watch on his left wrist. “Have you had dinner yet?”

I look around surprised. There were no windows where I was sitting and I didn’t realise it was dinnertime already.

“Did you even eat lunch?” Niall’s eyes narrowed in on me and his voice grew concerned.

I rolled my eyes. “Of course.” I lied.

“What did you have?” Niall asked, not missing a beat.

I faltered, opening my mouth and shutting it while I quickly raced through what I would have eaten today. Before I got anything out Niall had already shook his head at me.

“Pack up your shit, we’re going to have dinner. I cannot believe you haven’t eaten anything.” Niall said. He began reaching for books and pens scattered across the table, closing everything up and losing pages.

“Hey, stop it.” I slapped his hands away. “I had breakfast you know, and I need to keep studying.”

Niall pushed away my attempts at prevention and packed all my pens, highlighters and pencils into my case. “Breakfast is not enough and I saw you hand in your assignment two days ago Sid. You told me that you didn’t have another essay for another three weeks, so no; you don’t have anything to study for. This is probably just extra reading you decided to put on yourself.”

I stayed quiet, annoyed at Niall’s accurate guess. I sat there and watched as Niall packed up everything around me, even dumping the books I had taken from shelves onto the return rack. He pushed everything into my bag before slinging both it and his bag over his shoulder and held a hand out to me.

“Stop being a child. Aren’t you supposed to be looking after a whole house of girls? Yet you’re sitting here looking like my baby nephew when he has to fart.” Niall impatiently waved his empty hand at me, wiggling his fingers.

I sighed and stood up, reaching for his hand and allowing him to guide me out of my second home. I waved to the librarian on duty as we left. Niall snorted beside me, earning an elbow to his ribs.

“You have a nephew?” I asked after a moment, realising that Niall hadn’t ever mentioned him to me.

He smiled brilliantly, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah, my older brother’s boy. Theo. I miss him when I’m here all the damn time.” Niall tightened his fingers around mine and lead me out into the cool night air.

I smiled and stuck closer to his side. “I don’t have anyone like that.” I told him hesitantly. “I’m an only child and so are both my parents. No siblings, cousins or even niece and nephews.” I shrugged at Niall’s shocked expression. Having a big family or even a close family was a strange concept for me, just like not having one was a strange concept to Niall.

“You’ll have to come see him, meet everyone.” Niall responded smoothly, leaning over to press a quick but firm kiss to my dry lips before tugging me towards the boarder walk restaurants and to the restaurant we had our first date at.

“Niall! Table for two?” A waiter appeared in front of us almost immediately, pulling Niall into a side hug and leading us to a table. I rolled my eyes at how many people Niall knew, it’s like he had friends everywhere.

My stomached rumbled as we sat down and I ignored the pointed looks from Niall while grabbing a menu.

“You know not all of us eat all the time.” I commented to him, my eyes rolling over the words written on the glossy surface of the menu.

“I’m not asking you to eat all the time Sidney, just at least three meals a day.” Niall responded in an irritated voice. I rolled my eyes, hard, at the menu but dropped the subject. Once he finally let me go home I would just spread out downstairs, everyone would hopefully be in bed by then and I would be able to study alone.

-

I stirred my spoon through my coffee, half listening to the girls around me in the dining hall eating lunch. I took a sip of the strong coffee that Thea had passed to me when I first sat down. It was strong and exactly what I needed.

“When did you go to bed?” Thea asked, her eyes intently staring at the new bags resting under my eyes. I rubbed at them tiredly and shrugged into my coffee mug.

“I came down to get a drink at midnight and she was still reading in the living room.” Rhiannon told, ignoring the glare I shot her way.

Thea’s shoulder softened and her features turned concerned. I held up my hand, stopping her concerned spiel before it got underway. She frowned but went back to her cereal. Caydance was sitting next to her, ignoring us the whole time and her food as she focused her whole attention on her phone. Occasionally smiling widely before furiously typing back. It was amusing how taken she was with Harry, especially since she usually tired of boys before a relationship would even start.

“Hey Riley!” Caydance’s head snapped up, her voice carrying through the dining room and over the voices to the freshmen girl seated on the other side of the hall. Riley obediently stood and made her way towards our table. Thea shook her head at Caydance but stayed quiet about her rudeness.

“Did you girls finish everything last night?” Caydance asked a smiling Riley who nodded eagerly.

“All the underwear for Kings is currently sitting in disposable bags in the corner of the laundry room and the each have either one pair of underwear or a bra. We made sure to buy the laciest and pinkest ones we could find.” Riley recounted for us all.

“And the bet runs out in five minutes.” I told them all, checking the clock hanging on the wall above the fridge.

“Perfect time to give the boys back their laundry don’t you think?” Rhiannon clapped her hands and stood up, instructing everyone to begin cleaning up after themselves before meeting in the foyer to grab bags of laundry.

“You finished Louis’?” I asked Thea as we joined the throngs of girls walking into the foyer. She nodded, a spark of laughter in her eyes. “He’s going to have a coronary when he realises it was you.” I shook my head at her gleeful look and accepted the bag Olivia handed to me. I peaked inside to see all of Louis’ whites were dyed a light baby pink.

I stifled a yawn and marched to the door as the girls all fell into step behind me.

We headed up the street towards King’s house, Caydance hopping along beside me, her crutches swinging almost merrily, a bright smile on her face.

“You know I get scared when you begin to get too happy.” I told her.

“Don’t be overdramatic. It’s just a good day is all.” She practically ran up the steps to the King’s house, as best she could with only one leg. Louis answered the door when she knocked and his eyes narrowed in, turning suspicious.

I shouldered past Caydance and into the foyer of Kings’ house. “It’s creepy when she smiles too much isn’t it.” I sympathised with Louis whose eyes didn’t stray far from Caydance.

“I didn’t expect you to be so happy. You didn’t break my rules and do something to the clothes? Because if you broke the rules I get to choose a punishment.” Louis smiled smugly but he couldn’t match Caydance’s grin or shake of the head.

“Then what the hell is the smiling for?” Louis groaned.

“Because you said that I couldn’t do anything to the clothes, specifically me.” Caydance said as the rest of Grace finished piling into the house, dumping bags of laundry onto the floor. I held on to Louis’ as his gaze fell to me.

“What did you do?” He accused. I smirked and opened up the white sack before turning it upside down to tip all over the floor at his feet.

“Wasn’t me Lou.” I got in before he began yelling. He paused, floundering and glanced around at the group of girls in his house obviously unsure of whom to accuse. Thea tentatively took a step forward and raised her hand in front of Louis. Caydance was shaking with laughter by now.

I understood why, Louis’ face was the most expressive I had ever seen, his eyebrows high into his long raggedy fringe. His mouth dropped in complete surprise and wide blue eyes tracking Thea in almost betrayal.

“You really shouldn’t make a house full of girls do your washing. Something was bound to backfire.” Thea smiled innocently, her hands clasped neatly in front of her.

Louis looked from the bag of his light baby pink clothing mixed in with his usual array of coloured clothing. By then the rest of Kings’ house had begun to accumulate around the foyer, uncharacteristically quiet and watching their house leader to see what he was going to do.

Surprisingly, a small smile worked it’s way across Louis’ face and he bowed his head to a shocked looking Thea. “Didn’t realise you had it in ya.” He conceded, shaking his head with an almost fond appreciation of the girl in front of him. Rhiannon nudged my rib but I ignored her.

“Guess I doubted how well Caydance could corrupt people.” He continued, turning to Caydance who held up her hands innocently.

“This whole thing was her idea, the moment you left the house. Face it Lou, you don’t really know Thea at all.” Caydance smirked; I was surprised she wasn’t glowing from the joyful energy that was seeping from her.

Louis was once again silent, regarding Thea curiously. Thea who shifted under his gaze, her eyes falling down to her feet and one hand coming up to play in her short blue hair. I took pity on her and stepped forward taking the whole room and in particular Louis’ attention off of her.

“Now that you know it isn’t that easy to mess with us anymore, we will leave you all to it.” I patted Louis’ shoulder and began to lead my girls out the door. Niall stood next to it.

Arms crossed over his chest, body tilted so he leant against the wall. He was amused, I could tell, only holding in his laughter because it was his boys, his family and his house leader who got pranked.

“It’s just gonna make em come after you and ya girls harder.” Niall straightened up from the wall when I reached him.

I shook my head at Niall and condescendingly patted his cheek. “I think I just proved that we can take whatever you want to give us Ni, and throw it right back in your own face.”

Niall threw his head back and laughed, his throat moving in time. I smiled at his pure happiness and vulnerable innocence before leading my girls back outside and back to the house. Caydance cheering behind me, slamming one of her crutches onto the gravel driveway. It was probably going to break before we took them back to the hospital.

-

During the first couple weeks of my first year of Uni I found a spot that was secluded from the area around it. I had gone walking one night, homesick for my own comfort, my own room and atmosphere.

The Grace house was full of new people with new ideals and new rooms. So I walked around aimlessly one night when I couldn’t sleep and I found a place farther out. Through a walkway that was barely tended to, the tree branches spreading across the length of the path almost reaching branches across the other side. The concrete was cracked and weeds had grown through and up. I kept walking using the dim light of my phone before the path ended at a round concrete area with a picnic table in the middle.

The picnic table was better looked after and it faced the lake that could be accessed from the other side of the campus. But this small picnic table was placed in a way that the trees and shrubs surrounding it hid it from the view of the people on the other side of the lake. It was perfect and serene and my own little place.

The next day I packed a bag full of books and showed up at the place but I was disappointingly not alone. A skinny boy with lightly tanned skin sat on the table his back facing me. His shoulders were slumped, his head focused away from me until my footsteps could be heard. The mess of brown hair was cut short, too short for the face of the boy in front of me.

Louis had been homesick too but for different reasons then I had. He had a big family with many siblings who he loved and cared about and he missed them a lot more then he thought he would. Whereas I missed home but my parents had never been around much to worry about missing them at all.

For a long time Louis and I had constantly been heading to our spot, talking for hours on end or just sitting together silently either studying, mostly on my part, or just watching the lake. It was how we bonded and it was why everyone had been so surprised by our sudden bond, not realising how much was going on behind the scenes.

Tonight, I headed there, my thoughts too full of legal matters to continue reading and I needed fresh air so I grabbed my coat and slipped on some boots before making my way through the campus, across the others side and down the pathway.

I was never really surprised when Louis was there; sometimes I thought he was there more then I was.

It was odd staring at the boy in front of me, his back towards me but much broader then it was when we first met. His hair was longer, shaggier and a darker brown. It was a mess at the back like he hadn’t been bothered to run a brush through it. His body looked stronger, muscled arms resting behind him on the bench. I supposed I had changed just as much as he had, my shoulders straighter, my chin higher and my hair was probably longer. We had our whole house weighing down on our shoulders and I missed having this time with Louis.

“Who would’ve throught that we would become house leaders.” Louis said without turning around. He knew it would only ever be me. I stepped forward and climbed up to sit on the table, dangling my legs off the side and against the bench seats.

“I think we were good choices.” I replied, leaning slightly against his shoulder to soak up some warmth. “What’s on your mind tonight huh? Can’t be all that pink clothing that is worrying you.”

Louis nudged my shoulder and his snort blew a strand of hair in my face. “You think you are so good.” He murmured but grew quiet again. I gave him time before sitting back and turning to face him.

“Come on Lou, it’s me. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.” I bumped our shoulders together earning a smile from Louis before he released a long sigh, his shoulders slumping forward.

“Do you now Indiana? Caydance’s friend and Zayn’s new love of his life?” Louis asked. I was taken aback, unprepared for this to be his topic of discussion.

“Yes I know Indiana. Not closely but I know Caydance and Thea and a fair few other girls of mine get along with her.” I said.

“Well when we had the barbeque at Kings house I saw something on Indiana that worried me but Caydance told me to stay the hell out of it.” Louis was speaking slowly, unsure of what to say and it worried me. Louis always had something to say.

“What was it Lou?”

“She had bruises, serious colourful bruises that you don’t get just from falling over or running into things. Bruises that you don’t get from being clumsy.” Louis said, his hand clenching into fists where they rested in his lap. I reached out wrapping my hands around his.

“And Caydance told you to stay out of it?” I asked softly trying to remember anything I had seen of Indiana, anything that had seems suspicious but I hadn’t paid to much attention to the girl. She seemed nice, quieter and an unusual fit for Caydance but they got along.

Louis nodded his hands still in rock hard fists. “She told me it wasn’t my fight and that I should back off.” He hissed between his teeth, clearly not agreeing with Caydance.

I sighed and rested my forehead against Louis’ shoulder. It took him a long time to tell me much about his past. He told me about his family straight away but I never knew about his father or anything after that for almost over a year before he finally told me that his parents were divorced.

It took even longer for him to tell me about the abusive relationship his mother had with another man when he was younger. A man who never turned his physical abuse on any of the kids but his Mum was often littered with bruises that she covered with her hair and long clothes with high necklines. It took almost a year before Louis told someone and stood up to the man and helped his Mum stand up for herself as well.

But that year had hurt Louis in many ways and he loved his Mum with more passion that I had even known anyone else to love. So I knew and I understood what this was doing to him. I knew how hard this would be to just let it go.

“Domestic violence is wrong and horrible and disgusting but we don’t know anything yet and like Caydance said we can’t do anything if Indiana won’t let us.” I kept my hands tightly around Louis’ when he began to rise up, not happy with my response.

“Hey listen to me.” I said sternly keeping him seated. “The best we can do is be friends with Indiana, show her that she isn’t only and that she has people there for her. Then maybe she will want to tell someone when she knows that she has someone to fall back on.

You’ve seen a few bruises Lou, that’s it. What if you are overreacting and it’s nothing. What if we tell the cops and he arrests her father or mother or whoever in her family and we destroy someone’s’ life. We have no evidence for police to charge right now and without Indiana saying anything we don’t have the right to cut in. I know this sucks and I know what this is doing to you but you need to listen to me Lou. This isn’t your Mum and it’s not fair on Indiana for us to just barge into her life.”

Louis slowly relaxed under my hands. His hands unclenching until I felt he was calm enough that I could pull away.

“You are the most caring person I have ever met you know.” I complimented him, smiling at the blush that crossed his face.

“Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone.” He grumbled making me laugh lightly.

“I’ll talk to Caydance as well okay? See what I can get from her and then maybe we can talk to Indiana, when we deserve her trust.” I promised Louis. Indiana didn’t deserve us stomping all over her life. But that didn’t mean we had to do nothing.

“Your prank was pretty good today.” Louis said. I indulged his change of subject.

I smiled proudly. “Thea is one of my best.”

“Wasn’t expecting it to come from her.” Louis murmured thoughtfully, his posture much more relaxed as he leant back against the table again, his face looking up towards the night sky. I regarded him for a moment, remembering the way he looked at her today.

“She’s a much better person then Eleanor.” I told him innocently, dodging his gaze and snort of laughter.

“You never liked her.” He mused, ignoring what I really meant.

I shrugged at Louis, not disagreeing. I had never really tried with Eleanor I would give her that. But something about her never sat well with me, she was just not someone I could get along with.

“She cheated on me.” Louis said into the cold night air, his voice lacking any expression. “That’s why we broke up. She cheated on me then tried to put the blame on me. Reckoned I was too concerned about my duties as first year being house leader and I didn’t pay her enough attention. So I told her to fuck off and spent the holidays partying with Zayn and taking home any girl who showed a bit of interest in me.”

“Sorry Lou.” I said, ignoring the last part. His choices were his alone; I wasn’t going to judge.

“You aren’t really.” He grinned at me. I held up my hands in mock surrender.

“Like you said, I never liked the bitch.” I grinned toothily earning a hearty laugh from Louis.

He seemed to contemplate the sky again before turning his gaze to me. “You know I’m actually not even missing her, at all. There have been other people in my life that I’m starting to enjoy being around a lot more.” He told me earnestly. I almost hoped for Thea but there was a lot to Louis that Thea didn’t know about; a lot of damage and insecurities hidden behind all the false confidence and constant jokes. But then again there was a lot hidden behind Thea’s kindness as well.

“Stay away from my Grace girls Tomlinson.” I half-heartedly growled out. Only a part of me being serious.