Study of Life and Love

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. There was a red blush to my cheeks that wasn’t going away and my stomach swirled uncomfortably. I had been in the bathroom for five minutes now and I was tempted to ask the next person to check outside for me.

It was Caydance that came in next. Shaking her head and muttering under her breath until she saw me.

“He’s gone, Zayn promised to make him leave.” Caydance came to stand next to me, looking at herself in the mirror and fixing up a few strands of bright red hair.

I sighed in relief, fixing the strap of my bag before heading out of the bathroom. I poked my head outside to see the whole corridor was empty.

“Are you really going to hide from him forever? Ducking into bathrooms and staying in the house unless you have classes?” Caydance shoved from behind so I fell out into the corridor.

I ignored her and began heading back towards Grace house. It was getting darker and dinner would be ready soon.

“Why don’t you just let him apologise?” Caydance caught up with me and fell into step beside me. “Then when he does you have an opportunity to yell at him before either storming off or slapping. I would preferably do both.”

“I really don’t wan to talk to Louis at all.” I murmured, feeling sick at the thought.

“You’re going to have to, eventually.” Caydance sighed.

I shook my head at her as we came around the back of the swimming pool. Lightning split the sky right above us. We started to walk faster, not wanting to be caught in any rain.

“I’ve already thought about this. And it’s not like I have to talk to him at all. He doesn’t come to the lecture we share. I can study by myself and any house stuff is between him and Sidney. By the time I become house leader he will be gone.” I said as we crossed the road and ran up Grace house steps as the rain began to pour, the wind bending the trees around us.

“You’ve clearly thought about this.” Caydance yelled over the wind as we stepped through the front door.

I nodded, wiping my feet on the mat by the door and heading towards the stairs.

“This is for the best, anyway. I can focus on other things and stop feeling like my heart is being stomped on every time I’m in the same room as him. And getting my hopes up only to be crush is becoming exhausting.” I told her.
-

I jumped in surprise when a loud thunk fell down in front of me. Harry was staring at me, his hair wild and his mouth set into a pout. He wanted something.

“Yes.” I said, leaning back from where I was hunched over my book. The corner I had chosen was in a lone corner in the library amongst many different stacks of bookshelves. I had no idea how he had found me.

“I need help.” Harry blurted out. I blinked, waiting.

“I don’t know what to get Caydance for Christmas.” He elaborated further.

“Don’t get her anything.” I replied, looking back down at my textbook.

Harry whined in front of me like a puppy dog. “I have to get her something. And this will be like the first present and our first Christmas. It has to be good.” Harry had a wild sort of determination lacing his voice.

“Caydance doesn’t believe in presents.” I looked back up at him. This was going to need actual concentration to explain. Harry’s face was already screwed up in confusion.

“I don’t know how much of Caydance’s family you know about. But’s it’s big, like lots of younger siblings.” I explained. “Her father’s not around and they don’t exactly have a lot of money.”

Harry seemed to finally understand what I was getting at. Realization began to spread through his eyes.

“Her family doesn’t focus on presents. They don’t give any at Christmas. They have all these other little traditions and just spend time together the whole time. A present to Caydance is just spending Christmas day together. She’s a hard person but she loves her family more then anything else. Her ideal gift is to have everyone she loves in one place on Christmas. She would be literally ecstatic just by that. She is not going to like a gift.”

Harry’s eyes lit up. “I have an idea.” He murmured and rushed off before quickly turning back around and slamming a kiss to my forehead. “Thanks Thea.”

I watched him run off into the stacks of books, knocking a few down along his way. I laughed at his childishness and bent to grab my water bottle from the floor. I straightened up and held the scream that filled my lungs.

Daniel Alston stood six feet tall and buff in front of me. I could see water droplets in his hair and few strays rolling down his veined arms.

“Hi.” I squeaked out when he fell into the chair in front of me.

“Why did Styles run out of here like the cat who got the cream?” Daniel asked roughly, his hands were resting on two books he had brought to the table with him.

I stared at him for a moment, unsure when we had gotten to the talking stage. “He uh thought of a good Christmas present or something, I think.” I said slowly.

Daniel snorted. “Figures, Kings were always childish by nature.”

“Hey.” I halfheartedly defended. They were my allies and I did have friend in Kings.

Daniel rolled his eyes. “You can’t stick up for them, not with the way Tomlinson treated you the other night.”

I blushed; the tips of my ears going warm and I looked everywhere apart from the man sitting across from me.

“I should have come back and taught him a lesson when I heard what he said.”

“No, you should not have.” I snapped, blushing darker now that I knew that Daniel had actually heard Louis’ outburst. How many other people had overheard it too?

“What you’re just going to let him speak to you like that?” Daniel growled out, his eyebrows rising together as if in a challenge.

I pulled my attention away from his thick eyebrows and glared at him. “I got it covered thank. I don’t need you to teach Louis a lesson.” I huffed out, slightly worried for Louis’ life.

Daniel rolled his eyes but turned to his books. Pulling one open and grabbed a pen and notebook from his bag. I sat there; confused and stiff, watching as he dutifully began taking notes.

Self-consciously I stopped staring at him and began to look back through my own textbook. The silence stopped being awkward after awhile and I began to enjoy Daniel’s company. He didn’t have any irritating habits, he didn’t tap his pen against anything, didn’t click his tongue, or sing under his breath. He didn’t turn ridiculously blue eyes on me and make me lose focus. It was comfortable.

I blinked blearily into the sun that poured through the rain clouds when I stepped outside of the library with Daniel at my side.

“I have to head off to Rugby practice.” He told me, pointing his finger in the opposite direction I was going.

I shot him a smile. “Thanks for today. It was nice sitting with someone.” I said honestly.

“We should do it again, tomorrow, same time?” He asked bluntly. I was going to have to get used to his confidence and quick questions that came across a lot like demands.

“Sure.” I said happily before waving goodbye and making my way towards the opposite exit of the Great Court. I considered a frappe from the café as I went.

I almost ran into a group of girls along the way. They were giggling and quickly glancing over back the way I had come. I followed the gaze and frowned at the blue pairs of eyes that met mine.

Louis stood right near the entrance of the library I had just left. His eyes were narrowed and there was a frown pulling his lips down. I spun around and kept walking in the opposite direction.

-

I stared into the mirror, tugging my brush through the tangled mess of my blue hair. It was growing past shoulder length now and the blue had become quite faded. I had blue colour dye in my room but the longer I stood there, tugging against my blue locks the more I wanted to get rid of the colour.

Decided, I left the bathroom and headed to Caydance’s room. I knocked once and shoved the door open.

“I need your help. I want to change my hair colour.” I said as the lump under the covers of Caydance’s purple bed cover rolled over then promptly yelled and tumbled to the ground.

I paused, frowning at the unmistakable yell from a much deeper voice than Caydance. I stepped forward and peered into the squirming pile of blankets where Harry had gotten tangled.

He squirmed and squirmed in frustration before falling back in a huff and smiled up at me. “Hi?”

“Need some help?” I asked him amused.

“Well I would, but I’m actually very naked under here.” Harry replied without a trace of embarrassment.

I flushed and took a step back. “Right well I’ll just leave you to that.” I said quickly, heading out of the room and shutting the door behind me.

“Oh shit. Please tell me that my room is empty.” Caydance was coming up the stairs with food in her hands for more then one person.

I shook my head.

“You’re blushing.” Caydance stated. “He wasn’t naked was he?” She seemed almost hopeful about his possible nudity.

“There was a blanket.” I supplied. She smiled happily and stepped towards her door, leaving it open for me to follow.

I cautiously followed her back in and glanced towards the bed but Harry was still on the ground, his head buried back into the mess of blankets that were down there. Caydance didn’t even seem surprised.

“It will take him awhile to wake up.” She said airily with a tone of familiarity. I felt a pang of jealousy. I didn’t know what it was like to be that familiar with whom a person was. Not romantically.

“So what’s up?” Caydance set her breakfast down on her table and took a seat, offering some toast my way.

“I want to dye my hair.” I told her.

“You need some help dying it blue?” She asked, chewing on the toast that she had offered me.

I shook my head. “I don’t want it to be blue anymore. I’m changing it.” I told her, turning back to the door. “I’m going go buy some then can you do it for me?” I asked her.

“Why?” She asked. I turned to her confused.

She clarified. “I mean why are you changing the colour from blue? I thought you loved the colour.”

“I did.” I told her, pausing at the door. “But there were reasons I did it that is making me hate it.”

“Louis.” She murmured.

I nodded in confirmation. “For some pathetic reason I had thought that having colourful hair would make me more noticeable. Apparently I only needed to be a part of his class. But whatever. I don’t care about that anymore and I don’t want to have blue hair anymore.”

“Okay,” she said simply.

I was surprised, expecting more questions or some speech. But she just sat there, eating her toast and watching me with calm eyes. I nodded and stepped out of the room.

“I’ll be back soon.” I called over my shoulder before shutting the door. Harry was still lightly snoring beside the bed.

My hair was a light chocolate colour by lunchtime and no one in the house mentioned it, except a few smiles and glances thrown my way. I felt more confident, more free as I ate a sandwich before grabbing my bag and heading off to a lecture.

I was more then surprised when I found Louis waiting out-front of the lecture hall. He very rarely went to the lecture, listening to it mostly online. He certainly didn’t show up to the lecture ten minutes before it would even start.

I paused when Louis’ shocked eyes moved over my new hair. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“Thea.” He murmured. “What did you do to your hair?”

I opted to ignore him, prepared to step around him to get into the class. He grabbed my bicep before I could.

This is what I had been afraid of. Being forced to talk to Louis. Face his sympathies or his apologies or whatever else it was when he knew, had known, that I had feelings for him. Feelings that he obviously didn’t reciprocate.

“I really need to get to class.” I said, not meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Louis said, pulling me gently to the side of the class door while people started to file in. Many throwing us curious glances. The group Louis usually sat with seemed almost ready to join us until they saw the tense atmosphere around us and they all quickly disappeared inside the classroom.

“You don’t have to apologise.” I mumbled when Louis hadn’t said anything further.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. And I shouldn’t have yelled what I did at you. That was rude and I was wrong, so I do have to apologise.” Louis said.

“Okay.” I replied. Accepting that I was going to have to accept his apology to get out of this.

“Please Thea,” apparently Louis didn’t believe my acceptance. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I love studying with you and hanging out like we have been. I was a jerk, I know that, but I would really like to keep being friends.”

I wanted to tell Louis to go away. I wanted to be childish and storm off and never have to talk to him again. But he was right. We were good friends and I did miss hanging out with him and studying together. It wasn’t his fault that I had a crush and if I kept this up I wouldn’t even have Louis as a friend.

I would prefer to have him as a friend than having to ignore and avoid him for the rest of our studies.

“Okay.” I said, shooting a small smile.

I received a warm smile back. “I like your hair.” Louis said.

I laughed and lead the way into the classroom, choosing to take a seat near the back, Louis followed me all the way. He settled down into the seat next to me just before the lecture started, the PowerPoint blinking to life on the wall behind the professor.

Louis moaned. “I remember why I don’t come to these. They’re so boring.” He sunk down on his chair and rested his head against the back of the chair.

I fought a smile and dutifully began taking notes, ignoring Louis’ annoying pen taps, jiggling legs, clicking tongue and constant glances in my direction.

“How are you not falling asleep?” He would keep whispering.