Study of Life and Love

I was just about to climb back into bed, prepared to go over the lecture notes I had taken today when Thea burst into my room, dripping wet. I paused, one leg kneeling on the bed, and stared at her as droplets began to pile up on the floor.

“It’s not raining is it?” I asked dubiously, there was clear blue sky when I had walked into the house not even ten minutes ago.

“No it is not raining.” She seethed, her teeth were beginning to chatter. “I am wet because of Louis.”

I bit my lip to stop from laughing at her unintentional innuendo. She glared at me as if knowing where my mind had gone.

“He came running up to me when I was halfway down the street and threw three water balloons at me, at once! Then he just ran off, that was all, didn’t even say anything. His face didn’t even move.”

There was a crash and a curse from downstairs that distracted us both. I followed Thea out my door and over to the staircase as Rhiannon and Olivia stomped up the stairs, just as wet as Thea. Maybe even more.

“Five Kings boys just attacked us with water bombs.” Rhiannon growled out, holding her soaking white shirt away from her body.

I shared a glance with Thea before Sydney headed down the stairs from the top level, eyeing us all.

“The King’s boys did this?” She asked. I stared at her, realising I hadn’t seen her in days, both of us keeping to our rooms as much as possible. I wondered how much she was studying since she was starting to look sickly pale.

“Come on, I need to show you guys something.” She led the way back to the ground level and towards the back door. There were three freshmen out the back with buckets of water. I frowned and look at the wall they had begun to clean.

Along the back wall of our house two words had been painted on. GAME ON.

“Did they paint our wall?” I asked, angry, stepping towards it.

“It will wash off. I found it this morning and I didn’t get what it meant but you girls aren’t the first ones to be water bombed today.” Sydney explained.

There was screaming from outside that made us all rush back into the house. Sydney grabbed some towels that had been placed near the back door.

Riley, Nina and Leah, slammed the front door shut behind them as the sounds of something hard thudded against it. They were all soaking wet.

“What the fuck?” Riley cursed.

I rushed to the window and watched as Liam and two other King’s boys laughed and headed away from the house.

“We’re under attack.” Thea said while Sydney handed towels out, Thea took one and wrapped it around her shaking shoulders.

“Wait, Louis attacked you right?” I nodded at Thea, “And Liam just attacked Riley and her friends, and who attacked you guys?” I asked Rhiannon and Olivia.

“Connor and some of his mates.” Olivia answered while Rhiannon’s face soured.

“You’re fighting with Connor aren’t you?” Thea asked, resigned. Rhiannon nodded.

“Well with Louis pissed at Thea, Niall pissed at Sydney, Liam pissed at Riley, Connor pissed at Rhiannon, no wonder the boys are out to get us.” I counted all the partners off on my fingers, ignoring the pointed looks I received from Thea. “I don’t think this is going to end anytime soon.” I told Sydney.

“Hey, you’re out of bed.” Riley announced loudly, she stared at me in shock. I blushed under everyone’s gaze and took a step back.

“Well I couldn’t let my Grace girls be attacked without helping them.” I tried to brush it all of, knowing that my behavior of never leaving my room has been pathetic. I’m stronger than that. I know I am.

“Uh guys, Indiana is walking up our pathway soaking wet.” Nina moved from the window and pulled open the door as Indiana lifted her hand up to knock.

Sydney handed her a towel when she stepped inside.

“Zayn?” I asked.

“Zayn,” she nodded. Her short black hair dripped water into her eyes.

“See this is why I don’t date boys. Girls would never do this shit.” Olivia burst out, pulling her towel tighter around herself.

-

The water bomb war had been going for three days. Some of the Grace girls had started to retaliate, sick of being the only ones showing up to lecture or tutorials soaking wet.

I hadn’t been hit yet, avoiding all main areas of campus and spending my spare time in the library or in the house when most of the Grace girls had started to hide.
I thought that maybe they weren’t after me since it had taken so long, but here I was, Louis in front of me, hand poised in mid air with a dripping pink water bomb in his right hand.

“I swear to God, Louis Tomlinson, if you throw that bomb your Mum will hear about this.” I threatened, panic started to set in when Louis’ face stayed passive. I couldn’t read him and a Louis that was unemotional and unreadable scared me.

“I’m not that afraid of her.” He said before the bomb sailed through the air and landed straight across my chest. I barely had time to register the coldness seeping through my skin before another two landed on my head and across my legs. I was soaked within seconds.

I glared at Louis as the cool breeze slipped straight through my clothes. “I’m going to kill you.” I growled out.

“Those were for Harry.” He growled back, his eyes flashing in anger.

I paused surprised. “So you’re taking his side?” I asked, hurt that even though we had been friends for so long, he would take his side in all of this.

“You took Thea’s.” Louis shrugged, already taking steps away from me.

“Is that what all of this is about? A girl that you didn’t even want a month ago.” I followed him, not ready to end this conversation. I had been absent for days, unable to stick up for Thea and point out to Louis when he was being a dick. But I was going to make up for it now.

Louis shook his head and glared, hard, at his shoes, before looking back up to meet my eyes. His face was unreadable once again.

“This is about you, not listening to Harry and being stubborn like you always are. This is about Sydney locking herself in her room and just plain ignoring Niall. This is about Indiana calling Zayn a frat boy. And Riley accused Liam, Liam of all people, to be sleeping around with anyone that he can get.”

“So what, instead of acting like adults and talking to us about it, you’re going to keep hitting us with water bombs.” I rolled my eyes, never expecting them to be so childish. Well actually, I did expect Louis to be that childish but the other boys can usually reign him back in.

“No, this isn’t about getting back at any of you.” Louis denied. “This is just us doing what we would have normally done any other year. We’ve slacked off with the pranks; we’ve gone easy on all of you because relationships got in the way. So this is us catching up.” Louis grinned.

“Well it’s getting old.” I rolled my eyes, trying to appear strong. But I still felt weak, vulnerable out here in the daylight and it wasn’t just because Louis had attacked me with water bombs.

“This is just the beginning,” he promised, before turning and jogging off.

I sighed heavily at Louis’ retreating back. I wasn’t in the mindset to battle Louis. I didn’t want anything to do with Kings’ house at this moment.

It had begun to be a habit of late to walk back to Grace house with my eyes down. I didn’t want to see him and so far it had worked. I didn’t want to see his face or curly hair and his warm eyes. I didn’t want to see him smiling while I still hurt. I didn’t want to hurt anymore either, but he was still always there in my mind, constantly.

The Grace door was wide open when I headed up the stairs. It made me pause, before heading inside. My mouth dropped open when I looked at the devastation around the house. There was a table stuck against the wall, above my own head. Above that, dangling from the roof was the lamp and candles that had sat on the table.

There was a mattress halfway down the stairs and toilet paper wrapped around the bannisters. The mat was missing from the foyer and a King’s banner lay in it’s place. I stomped over the banner and headed to the kitchen where I could hear people moving around.

The kitchen was worse. Barely any furniture was still on the ground, some furniture even seemed to be missing. The cupboards were and the containers that were inside them were placed precariously around the room. There were hundreds of photos magnetized to the fridge, they were polaroid’s. I looked at them closer and realised they were photo’s of the Kings boys. Photos of them in Grace house.

“What the hell?” I growled out at the girls that had started to put things away. Most of them were freshmen. “Where is Sydney?”

“Outside.” One of them said. I headed through the house, staring in horror at every room that I passed. They hadn’t left anything untouched.

There was more furniture out back, stuff that I thought was missing from the kitchen I could easily spot.

Sydney was amongst it all, grabbing a chair and carrying towards me. She paused at the bottom of the steps and stared up at me.

“I’m going to kill him.” I told her, sincerely. Louis had gone too far, he had gone too far with his pettiness.

“Not just Louis, have you seen the fridge? Apparently they were all apart of it. I’m going to have to make sure there’s always someone in the house at all times.” Sydney sighed and awkwardly walked up the stairs with the chair.

“We have to get them back.” I followed Sydney back into the house.

“No.” She said sternly. “I’m not going to antagonize them even more. We have more important things to do.”

I glared at her back. “What like study?” I snarled out, growing angrier the more I saw of the house.

Sydney stopped walking and turned around to face me. “No, like cleaning up this bloody mess.” She said, her eyes dark before continuing on her way to the kitchen.

I hesitated before heading up the stairs to my own room, worried what I would find. It grew hard climbing over all the objects placed haphazardly on the stairs and I was basically crawling along at one point before straightening up at the top of the stairs.

Doors were left wide open and I could see furniture had been moved, some beds I couldn’t even see. Thea stormed out of her room just as I passed, banging straight into my chest.

“That is my mattress that is on the stairs.” She yelled, before pushing past me. I watched her for a moment before heading to my own door. It was the only one with the door shut and that worried me even more. I stepped in to a completely empty floor. My eyes widened as not one single piece of furniture or clothing or any other item that I owned sat on the floor. Instead every single thing was hanging above me.

I gasped and walked into the middle of the room, staring up at everything I owned precariously swinging above me. I had all been hung up with fishing line. This was the most ridiculous and too far prank that Louis had ever done. I dropped my bag on my bare floor and headed back out of my room, I wasn’t ready to deal with that yet.

I found Thea on the stairs, trying to drag her mattress up while Rhiannon pushed from the bottom. I joined Thea’s side and helped her, Between the three of us we pulled the Queen mattress back into Thea’s room and onto her bed that was still thankfully in the same spot.

I shared a look with Rhiannon when Thea began to sniff, her eyes downcast.

“Thee.” I began reaching out to hug her but she stepped away from me.

“Why is he even doing this?” She mumbled, flashing her watery eyes up to meet mine. “I didn’t do anything. He is the one that kept pushing, that kept teasing me. And what? Because I wouldn’t let him push me around anymore he decided to just torture us instead.”

“He’s an idiot.” I conceded.

“I don’t know why I ever liked him.” She said, her hands clenching helplessly at her side.

“Come on,” Rhiannon said, reaching out for one of Thea’s hands. “There is a lot of furniture outside that needs to come in before it rains.” She tugged Thea with her out of the room while I eyed the mess that had been Thea’s room.

Her stuff was less complicated to put back then mine. I began picking up clothes and putting them away. I had to battle with the wardrobe door before it fell open. Fishing line had tied the inside of the doors together. I sighed and cut it off before placing Thea’s close back inside her wardrobe before having to wrestle all her draws open as well. It was frustrating and I wanted to do it before Thea came back and saw what they had done.

I was so angry at Louis, for being such a dick and hurting her more. I was angry that no one had bothered to stop him and instead they helped him out. And I was angry that I had wasted the last week lying in bed and completely unaware of the train crash that Thea and Louis had become in such a short time. I was angry because I knew that for some reason her was hurting in all this as well.

Sydney stopped in the doorway and eyed the room. “I’m not going to the party tonight. I’m going to stay here and make sure they don’t attack while they think we’re out.”

“I was never going to the party anyway.” I said, referring to the party that the Mary’s girls were throwing. Even without everything that had happened I probably wouldn’t have went. It always just ended in fights between Mary’s and Grace. We could never get along.

“Alright, well I’ll get Olivia to watch out for everyone tonight. I don’t think Thea will go either; she’s been downstairs half cursing half crying while cutting down furniture from the roof. You think Louis might have actually liked her, that’s why he’s doing this?” She asked.

I shrugged, knowing that both Sidney and I had been AWOL longer then we should have been and now neither of us knew if Thea had overacted or if Louis had been leading her on. They were both capable of doing either.

“I think, that the last time I talked to Louis before this mess, he didn’t know what he wanted.” I said slowly, remembering Louis at Christmas time.

“How long do you think this will last?” Sidney asked, she sounded tired, dark circles still engrained under her eyes.

“I think it will end quicker if we attack them back.” I told her.

She only shook her head. “We aren’t sinking to their level.” She insisted before disappearing from the doorway. I sighed and turned back to the last draw I had to wrestle open enough so I could get the wire.

-

I sat, curled amongst all the pillows and blankets that Thea had cradled around the living room. Indiana was curled up not far from me, her short black hair sticking up above mountain lines of blankets. I could smell the popcorn that Thea was popping.

“Do we really have to watch Romeo and Juliet?” Indiana moaned out for the tenth time since Cecile dropped her off here while she went to the party. The music was loud enough that we could hear the bass from where we sat.

“It’s Leonardo Dicaprio,” I glared towards the pieces of hair that I could see. “Of course we have to watch it.”

Thea stumbled over an errant pillow and only just kept the bowl of popcorn up right. “Hold this.” She shoved it into my arms. “I’m going to drag Sydney down for this.”

Indiana peeked her head over the cocoon of blankets, she had sunk into, to stretch her hand towards the bowl of buttered popcorn. I fake growled at her but she ignored and dug her hands into the depths of the bowl, crunching on the pieces she had procured. I threw a few more into my mouth while the menu screen of Romeo and Juliet began to replay itself.

“You look better.” Indiana said. I looked down at my toothpaste stained pajama shirt and worn penguin patterned cotton pants before looking at her disbelieving.

She giggled and shook her head, the bruise around her eye was finally beginning to disappear and her face was able to move freely without added pain.

“I meant that you are actually out of bed for something other than classes. You look better out of bed then curled up in it sobbing to Grey’s Anatomy episodes.” She explained, her big eyes crinkling at the corners.

I frowned down at the bowl of popcorn before shrugging. “Needed to move on at some point.”

“To forgive him?”

“To forget about him.” I said firmly, shoveling more popcorn in my mouth. Indiana, thankfully, fell silent as Thea walked back into the room, Sydney yawning behind her.

The mother of the house crashed amongst the blankets and pillows near my feet and focused her tired eyes on the movie screen. I stretched my legs out so my feet gently nudged her back before staying there, pressing into her warmth.

Thea pressed play with the remote and I snuggled further into the blankets, Thea and Indiana picking at the pieces from either side of me.

Leonardo Dicaprio only just landed in the swimming pool when the front door was slammed open. I jumped in fright and lost popcorn pieces onto the blankets.

“What the hell.” Sydney murmured, getting up and heading out into the dark foyer of the house. The lights had all been turned off and I was worried that maybe someone had decided to rob us.

“Hey, what are you doing home?” Sydney asked after I could see the light fill the foyer from where we sat in the media room.

I began to climb out of the blankets, Thea was already at the door, when Sydney walked back into the room with a red faced Riley behind her. She wiped hastily at her cheeks and under her eyes, not meeting any of our gazes.

“What happened?” Thea asked, wrapping her arms around the younger girl.

Riley sniffled and I frowned at her, I might not have liked her at the start but she had grown on me. I didn’t want to see her upset.

“It’s nothing.” She murmured into Thea’s shoulder. I barely heard her.

“Clearly it’s something if you’re crying.” Thea guided Riley over to one of the chairs and I finally extricated myself from the piles of blankets and sat on Riley’s other side.

“It’s just that I,” she stopped to sniff grossly, “I saw Liam and he was with this other girl and he took her up stairs and I just—.” She stopped and rubbed the palms of her hands harshly against her closed eyes.

Thea pressed a kiss to her blonde hair and I shared an exasperated look with Sydney. Why had Liam not dealt with this? And why was he with another girl?

“Boys are stupid.” I told her, Thea shot me a surprised look. “They do really stupid things sometimes and they hurt us, a lot. But we are stronger than that, we are Grace girls, we don’t need them if they’re going to make us cry.”

Riley’s bloodshot eyes met mine before she pulled herself out of Thea’s arms and buried herself in mine. I paused in confusion, wide eyes turning from Thea to Sydney and to Indiana. I wasn’t the comforting type, people didn’t come for me to comfort, that was who Thea was it was what she did.

We got Riley settled amongst the piles of blankets and I left to get her a drink of water from the kitchen. I didn’t hear Thea behind me until I turned from the fridge with bottles of water in my hand.

“It’s okay to need him you know.” She began to say, her eyes weary like she was talking to a wild beast. “Harry, it’s okay to need or want Harry.” She further clarified.

I flinched at his name; no one had used it in front of me except Louis.

“You tell her to be strong and not let boys hurt her but it’s okay to let them hurt you. It’s okay to cry and Caydance you should listen to him.”

I stood there, too stunned to reply.

“I know why you’re really angry at him. And it’s okay to be angry with him for hiding you away from his family. But you need to talk it out. Instead you used your anger as an excuse to push him away because of your insecurities. Your insecurities, which left you locked in a room, without any clue that Sydney hasn’t had dinner with us in over a week. You didn’t know that Rhiannon broke up with Connor or that Olivia finally asked out Leah. You didn’t know that Zayn considered going to the police for Indiana and that—.”

“That you hurt Louis.” I cut in. She paused in her ramblings and frowned. “Because I’m pretty sure the boy who hit me with water bombs today was not because of some stupid prank war. The reason Louis Tomlinson hit me with water bombs today is because he is pissed and he is hurt.”

“Would you just listen to Harry, okay?” Thea sighed, turning on her heel and leaving the room, ignoring everything I had mentioned about Louis.

I sighed and followed her out and settled amongst the girls in the blankets. Riley still sniffled next to me.

“Welcome to the club.” I said to her, handing her water over and resting my temple against the crown of her head.

“Yeah, welcome to the club of hurting and being hurt by King’s boys.” Sydney murmured, she lay back by my feet, hands absently running dark patterns over her mink blanket.

Thea resumed watching Rome and Juliet and no one said anything further.

We eventually got through three more movies, the rest of them decidedly action after an intense argument with Riley as to why she does not want and should never want a romantic relationship like Romeo and Juliet. It’s unhealthy and young, I pointed out. And always ends in death, Indiana added on, her eyes unable to roll any further into the back of her head.

There was a thud, a groan and a rustle at the back door that finally pulled us all from our comfortable places, again.

“Probably someone too drunk to use the door properly.” Sydney croaked, she sounded tired.

I glanced at my phone and saw that it was almost two in the morning. I didn’t have any missed calls and texts and I didn’t want to be disappointed about that.

“Uh Caydance it’s for you.” Sydney appeared and gestured behind her.

I closed my eyes, already knowing who was going to be waiting for me. I opened them to be met with Thea’s hard stare and yes I got it, I understood what she was saying earlier. I was pushing my insecurities into something that was not that bad. I was pushing what I had been worried about my whole life into a relationship with a boy who was good and whole and made me happy. And I was hurting him and myself because of it.

I stood from the warmth of the blankets and headed out of the room and toward the back door. There was a shadow leaning in the open door and I flicked on the porch lights.

Harry blinked at me blearily, his eyes blood shot and his hair was a sweaty mess, standing on end from what I hoped was his fingers and his fingers alone, constantly running through it. I paused at the jealousy that coursed through me at the thoughts of someone else touching Harry, being close to Harry and running their fingers through his curly hair, while my own fingers had been itching to do it since I screamed at him.

“Caydance, Caydance, Caydee, Cayy-deeeee.” Harry slurred, trying to right himself but eventually relaxed back against the door frame.

“I didn’t – I mean – I don’t – I think – how?” Harry was confused, his eyes sad and his fingers clenched together in fists at his side.

I sighed, realising that Harry was going to be no hope tonight.

“Come on,” I stepped forward and tried to keep my tone light. I reached out to grab his hand and tried to hide how eager I was to touch his skin again.

“Please don’t send me away,” Harry whimpered, his bottom lip quivering.

“Hey, hey.” I said soothingly, my free hand eagerly lifted up to run through his matted hair. “It’s okay, I won’t send you home.” I couldn’t find it in me to watch him in pain.

It was why I had locked myself away for so long. I didn’t want to see him unaffected by us not being together but I didn’t want to see the pain I had also caused him. I never wanted to hurt him.

So instead I pulled and nudged until Harry was able to climb the stairs, however roughly, until he was able to reach my room. I noted how drunk he was that he didn’t even hesitate to trip his way to my bed, losing both shirt and pants in the process. His hair covered most of his face and light snores immediately filled my room.

I couldn’t hide the fond smile that spread across my face. I walked over to pull Harry’s socks off before shuffling him around until the blankets could be maneuvered over his body. He snuffled tiredly but did not wake.

-

I could tell Harry began to wake as soon as the smell of bacon filled my room. The little confused noises he made only drew a smile across my face.

His head peered out from underneath the blankets he had pulled over his head to block out the morning sunlight. He blinked at me blearily, eyes squinting; I moved to go shut my curtains.

“I’m sorry,” I began, facing Harry ready to say what I had been practicing since I woke up in Thea’s bed. “I’m sorry for what I did. I let my insecurities hurt you and push me away from you.”

Harry sat up in my bed, the blankets dropping to his lap so his bare torso was open to the chilly room. He shuffled further up to the end of the bed and stared at me, and the breakfast I had sitting on my desk, before glancing down at himself.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He rasped out, clearing his through before meeting my eyes. “I should have handled it all better and I should have told my family, Gemma especially since I knew she was coming here and I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess I just wanted to be happy with you for a little while longer.”

I stared at Harry, knowing that that wasn’t enough for my insecurities and me. I needed to know that Harry wasn’t ashamed of me because I wasn’t ashamed of my family or myself. We didn’t have a lot, especially compared to his family but we had more than enough, and I loved them unconditionally. But being here in a place that mostly held rich arrogant assholes I was prone to be insecure about where our came from and the scholarship I needed to be here.

And I needed to explain this to Harry so when I freaked out and yelled at him again he could understand it a whole lot more.

I reached over for Harry’s tray of breakfast and took it over to the bed, sitting down next to the tired and confused boy.

I smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek before handing him a cup of tea and munching on a piece of bacon.

What had been said was enough for now, the rest we could deal with later.