Status: Very Active

Study of Life and Love

Eyes Like That

The campus radio station looked the same as it did last year and the year before that. Packed full of equipment that half of us didn’t know how to use and was probably a safety hazard. There were four rooms in total: the recording room, the kitchen and lounge, the office and another room that was filled with records, CD’s and tapes. God knows why we still had tapes; I wasn’t even sure if we had anything to play tapes.

“Ah Indiana Hope Brookman,” Nick announced happily, moving from the stool in the office to come greet me.

“How do you know my full name?” I inquired, I knew for a fact that I had never told Nick my full name.

“I don’t know,” he paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. “Probably read your school file or something.”

I gaped at him as he led me through to the lounge where Ed was already using the microwave, a beer in his hand.

“Indi. Good to see you’re back. Couldn’t get enough of Nick huh?” Ed winked at me before pressing a few button on the microwave.

A crash and a curse pulled our attention away back to the door. I hurried out behind Nick to find a lanky curly haired boy lying on the ground, wires wrapped around his ankle. Yep: definitely a safety hazard.

“Shit Harry! You alright?” Nick and Ed rushed over and helped the boy up. He waved them away and untangled his legs from the wires almost falling over again.

“It’s fine, fine. That’s what I get for texting and walking.” He murmured more to himself. I spotted his phone that had obviously fell from his hands and slid across the floor. There didn’t seem to be any damages.

“Thanks love.” The boy, Harry, smiled brightly, taking his phone out of my hand.

“Harry this is Indiana, Indi meet Harry. He’s a Kings fresher, met him the other day, he’s all eager to help out.” Nick pulled a face at me while I laughed. Harry just continued to smile brightly, his dimples growing deeper. Cute.

“Do you want to show him where everything is and prepare a set?” Nick asked as he and Ed headed back into the kitchen. I nodded at Harry and led him into the room that held our music. Harry’s eyes practically lit up when he caught sight of everything. He headed straight for the vinyls and ran his hand over everything that he could reach. I couldn’t help but smile at his face; he was honest to god cute and child like.

“Pick a few and put them in.” I gestured towards the record player. “We need to set up tomorrow’s playlist. So test them out.” I sat down on one of the vacant chairs, turning on the computer and typing in my log in. Harry’s phone beeped and he grinned widely, his attention completely off the records. I watched him for a moment as his face ranged through a whole bunch of emotions. Happiness, disappointment, annoyance and what seemed determination.

“You okay?” I questioned him. He looked up and immediately looked guilty putting his phone away.

“Sorry.” He said, looking back at the records and pulling one off the shelf, leaving a marker where he got it. I tried not to roll my eyes at his notion; none of the records were in any order just shoved randomly from the previous people using the station.

“It’s fine, it’s not like you’re on a serious job here, text all you want.” I told him genuinely, standing up to check out a few records that I hadn’t noticed the year before. “Who is she?”

Harry looked at me oddly as the record started to play. I wasn’t familiar with the song.

“The girl that distracted you so much you almost died out there.” I gestured to where all the wires Harry tripped over still sat on the floor. He blushed and fidgeted on the spot.

“I met her at a party the other night.” He admitted, coming to stand next to me, his eyes roaming over the records I was looking at.

“The Kings party?” I questioned, pulling one record out and glancing at the cover.

“Yeah, were you there? What house are you from?” He asked me intrigued. I shook my head at him and placed my record back.

“I’m from the dorms. A friend of mine from Grace dragged me there.” I told him, choosing another record and placing it next to the record player to try out next. “If you want that song on the radio just make a pile over there.” He nodded in response and moved towards the CD’s.

“The girl I met is from Grace.” He told me, a smile forming on his face again. “Her names Caydance.”

I dropped the stack of tapes in my hand on the ground in shock. I pulled a face at the mess, hoping to God that I hadn’t broken anything. Harry hurried over and helped me pick them up.

“Not Caydance Fairweather?” I questioned him in disbelief. He cocked his head sideways and blinked a couple of seconds.

“I’m not sure.” He said slowly, well slower then normal. “I didn’t get her last name and Louis won’t tell me.”

“There’s only one Caydance in Grace, Harry.” I advised him, as we stood up and deposited the tapes back on the shelf; Harry started to straighten them up. I watched amused, either he really liked to keep his music in order or he was a bit of a neat freak.

“So you know her?” He questioned, his eyes not meeting mine.

“She’s a close friend.” I told him, still not believing that this was the freshman that Caydance had complained to me about.

“Not to be like really childish or anything but would you maybe be able to put in a good word for me.” Harry turned to me, his eyes were hopeful. I tried not to melt on the spot.

“Caydance isn’t really the type of girl that you convince of anything.” I said slowly not wanting to hurt his feeling. “She’s quite stubborn.”

“Yeah I got that.” He visibly deflated in front of me. I watched him walk over to the record player and switch records, making a pile on the table of the records and a few CD’s he grabbed. “She called me cute.”

I giggled slightly at the face he pulled at me. He was obviously insulted by being cute. However with that hair, those eyes and two freaking dimples he would probably be called cute for the rest of his life.

“If it helps she did tell me about you.” I shrugged at him, his shoulders straightened and his eyes practically shone.

“She did? What did she say?” He stepped towards me hope practically radiating off him.

“Sorry can’t say.” I smiled at him, glancing to the higher shelves of records. “But I would probably keep texting her if I was you. You might just wear her down.” I spotted a record that looked familiar so I stretched to the tips of my toes and extended my arm trying to grab it. Harry’s gasp from beside me caught my attention. I turned to see him staring wide-eyed at my stomach, where my shirt had ridden up.

“Where the bloody hell did you get that?” He questioned, his hand rising to touch my left side but stopped slightly as if unsure what to do. I quickly pulled my arm down and fixed up my shirt covering everything.

“I fell.” I said nonchalantly. Harry eyed me for a moment.

“That looks like it really hurts.” He said, his eyes staring intently into mine. I moved away and headed around another shelf of music so I couldn’t see him anymore.

“The pain really isn’t that bad.” I said loud enough for him to hear. He stayed silent after that and we both continued to move around as the pile of music continued to grow. I could feel Harry’s eyes on me as we moved and I made sure not to show anymore skin.

Eventually Nick came in, telling us that it was enough work for today. I knew that he probably had something to do this afternoon and he currently had the only key to the whole place.

I grabbed my bag, making sure everything was inside before quickly making my way out of the building, calling a quick goodbye over my shoulder; I got as far away from Harry as possible.

I pulled out my phone when I was fair enough away from the radio station and called Caydance. “I met your freshmen today.” I told her the moment she answered.

“What? How did you meet him?” She asked, her voice coming through quite loud.

“He works with me at the radio station.” I ignored the loud groan she made. “I can’t believe you said no to him. Tattoos, Caydee, tattoos. Isn’t that like a major turn on for you? And his hair and don’t get me started on those dimples.” I paused in my steps for a moment as the dial tone rung through my ear. I couldn’t help the grin that flew across my face.

“What dimples?” I jumped and glanced to my left to see Zayn standing there, his hair was tucked back into a beanie, it was the first time I hadn’t seen him with a quiff and I liked the difference, he seemed more casual this way, less daunting.

“Zayn.” I said in greeting; his smile widened. It was getting to the point where I saw him nearly every day. “Are you following me?” I questioned him suspiciously. His smile faltered a bit before he shook his head.

“I just got back from class.” He gestured his arm that held a large book to the building behind him. Psychology.

“You do psychology?” I asked him unnecessarily but he didn’t seem to mind, just nodded at me, his shoulders shrugging slightly which caught my attention to the fact that he was only wearing a singlet, a very low cut one. Low enough that I had a clear view of the wing and lips tattoos across his chest.

“Yeah.” He said slowly, reaching his hand up to fix his beanie, almost like he was embarrassed.

“That’s really cool.” I admitted to him, which earned me a wide smile, his hand falling back to his side as he flexed his fingers.

“So, did you have class or?” Zayn trailed off as we just stared at each other in the middle of a walkway.

“Uh no I had—was at the radio station.” I explained to him.

“Oh right! One of our freshers was going to help out there, Harry—.”

“Dimples.” I cut him off, nodding and referring to the conversation he had over heard. He paused for a minute and his eyebrows drew in together. “He has two dimples.” I further explained wondering how Zayn hadn’t noticed. He eyed me for a moment before nodding slowly. “I think him and Caydance have a thing going on.” I further explained as Zayn’s face relaxed and he smiled at me again.

“Oh right, yeah Louis said something about that.” He said vaguely.

“I should get back to my dorm.” I gestured behind me, wanting to end this with Zayn now. “I need to get my books before class.”

“Right of course.” Zayn nodded as I took a step back. “Would you maybe uh want to go out and get dinner or something tonight with me?”

I stopped in my tracks and stared at Zayn, the fluttering in my stomach went into overdrive and I felt a little sick. I couldn’t go out with Zayn, not when he was so curious.

“Sorry,” I shook my head almost straight away and watched as Zayn’s face fell. “I actually uh have p-plans tonight with my uh roommate.” I stuttered out to him, cursing that my voice didn’t sound stronger and surer of itself. I knew he didn’t believe me, his face clearly showed that but he nodded anyway, his eyes not quite leaving mine.

Sighing, I spun around and headed in the opposite direction as fast as I could wanting to get away from Zayn and the way he practically radiated disappointment. He wasn’t the only one that was disappointed and I despised that he made me feel like that.


“What are you doing tonight?” Cecile asked from where she was sprawled out across her bed. I shrugged lazily from where I sat on my own bed, my hand carelessly moving the pencil around the rough drawing in front of me. I was feeling in the creative mood but I didn’t know what I wanted to draw, so far our small kitchen with its couple of counters, fridge and sparse appliances was not doing enough for me.

“I’m going to dinner with some friends if you wanted to come?” She was tentative in her ask and I could feel her eyes staring at me from across the room. I glanced up from my drawing and smiled at her politely before shaking my head.

“Thanks but I’ll probably just start looking at some class work or something.” I told her as gently as possible, focusing back on the drawing.

“Oh okay,” she fell silent and I continuously drew, trying to drown out my surroundings until she spoke again. “I’m going to go for a shower then.” I nodded at her but didn’t look up, drawing sharper lines around the counter until she shut the bathroom door behind her. Sighing I dropped my sketchpad onto the bed leant my head back against the wall. I was torturously bored and I had no inspiration to write and I definitely did not want to read any course work yet.

I made up my mind and grabbed my bag before heading out of the room with my sketchpad and pencils. At this time of the afternoon most people would be back home, in their dorm or at the houses most likely getting ready to go out. No one was around to fully appreciate the sunset as it set behind the Great Court.

Sure enough only a few people wandered through every now and then when I arrived there. I made myself comfortable against a tree on one side and pulled my sketchbook out, flipping to a new page and finding the calmness in sketching that I had been trying to find back in my dorm.

I wasn’t aware for how long I was sketching, the sun was sinking lower as time moved on but it didn’t bother me as the artificial light lit up the Great Court at the same time every afternoon. I was mostly sketching by memory now, moving across the page and adding details here and there, fixing up others and sharpening certain places.

I was completely in my own world so when someone sat down next to me I didn’t even notice until they cleared their throat. My heart lurched and the pencil flew threw my hand landing in the person’s lap.

I looked up at Zayn in surprise as he picked the pencil up and offered it to me, amusement on his face. I sheepishly took it back, my hands dropping to cover my sketchbook.

“Hi,” I squeaked out after a short silent moment. I felt trapped by Zayn even though we were out on the open. I was fully aware that the sun had now disappeared and technically it was nighttime, when I was supposed to be hanging out with Cecile as far as Zayn was concerned. His face didn’t give anything away though. He just smiled and leant against the tree behind my back so our shoulders were touching. I shifted uncomfortably, not used to being so near to someone. As if sensing my discomfort Zayn moved over just slightly so we were no longer touching. My heart slowed down immediately at the loss of contact and I felt bad for Zayn but thankful that in some way he was able to understand.

“Your drawing is nice.” Zayn commented after a few more silent seconds. I flushed and glanced down at the book that I was still covering with both my hands. I hesitantly lifted them up and studied the picture I had sketched out before shrugging.

“It’s okay.” I told him, there were still many areas that needed fixing up.

“How long have you been out here?” Zayn asked and I eyed my phone for the time. That still told me nothing as I wasn’t sure when I first cam here.

“Uh it was still light when I came out.” I shrugged at him again; he raised an eyebrow amused before nodding and falling silent, his eyes seeming to stare across the Great Court where nothing was happening. No one was around except us. Zayn’s phone beeped, breaking the silence and I tried not to pay attention to him as he made a small noise of annoyance before typing back.

“Just Louis, he needs some help with a new prank or something.” Zayn offered the information up to me freely like I had asked him for it.

“You can go, you don’t have to stay with me.” I told him hoping he would take the offer and go. He shook his head.

“Louis can wait. I don’t feel like helping him plan right now.” He responded and I nodded in response before glancing over at him.

“You and Louis are really different.” I blurted out to him, shocked at my own willingness in the conversation. “You two don’t really look like people who would be friends.”

“You don’t really know Louis, or me.” Zayn responded and my eyes widened and focused forwards again, a blush lit my cheeks and I knew I was too stupid to actually make a proper conversation here.

“Sorry.” I mumbled my eyes glued back onto my sketchpad but I wasn’t really seeing anything. Zayn sighed from next to me.

“I didn’t mean it like that, sorry. I just mean that, it’s just a lot of people think Louis and I make a weird friendship but we don’t, really. We’re a lot alike in some ways. I’ve known Louis for a long time; we’re from the same town. Grew up next door to each other actually. Practically inseparable and when he came here a year before I did he joined Kings. So coming here after Louis and joining Kings was just normal for us. I have a lot of sisters, so does he but he’s my brother always will be.” I tried to understand what Zayn meant but I didn’t have friends that were close. The closest I had was Caydance and even then I tended to push her away when it’s important so I couldn’t fully grasp how close Zayn and Louis could be when they weren’t actually family.

“Louis is a lot different to what he acts like. He gets people to believe he is something in one light when he’s actually another thing entirely.” Zayn continued and I could feel his gaze fixed on me now. “A lot like you. Like I don’t think you are as shy as you make yourself out to be.” I looked towards him sharply, confused at his accusation.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him.

“You act like you’re shy and everyone thinks you are but I’ve seen you talk to people easily. And I mean you are friends with Nick Grimshaw and Caydance Fairweather, two of the loudest people I know, who could be shy and be friends with them?” I opened my mouth to speak but Zayn continued on. “You’re just really good at not telling anyone anything about yourself so they just assume you’re shy when in fact you’re just deflecting.” I shook my head at Zayn worried that his words were hitting to close to home.

“I’m really not as interesting as you are making me out to be.” I promised him. “My life is quite boring.”

“Not true, I find you very interesting.” I could practically hear the smirk in Zayn’s voice and it made me roll my eyes.

“You do study psychology so I guess we can take your word for it.” My tone was dripping with sarcasm and Zayn snorted with amusement.

“See now I’m interested in what you think of psychology majors.” Zayn’s eyes were practically lit up with the artificial light that filled the Great Court and I quickly looked away, aware that eyes like that could capture a person.

“That depends what a psychology major things of an art major. I know what people say about us.” I tried to move the subject back into a lighter area but Zayn wouldn’t have any of it.

“We think you are all creative and beautiful people.” He didn’t miss a beat, his gaze burning into the side of my face. I could feel the blush slide down underneath my shirt.

“I won’t hurt you.” Zayn said so softly that I was startled at what he said. My eyes widening as I turned to look at him, mouth moving soundlessly, what on Earth was I supposed to say to a dramatic confession like that?

“I never thought you would.” I told him truthfully, my eyebrows scrunching together trying to understand him.

“Then what are you afraid of?” He asked firmly, his voice and eyes not wavering and I was left speechless again. My mind whirling through hundreds of possibilities and I wondered what he actually thought I would say. If he thought I would mention some ex-lover or a horrible family. But I could truthfully tell him it was neither, because I didn’t have an ex-lover and I was certainly not afraid of my family, I was not afraid of my father. He had lost my fear along time ago.

“Spiders.” I answered promptly and truthfully, Zayn’s eyes clouding in confusion. “Anything with more then four legs really. It just feels unnatural to have that many legs.” I turned back to the view in front of us, noticing a crowd of people heading our way.

“There you go again, not really telling me anything about yourself.” Zayn commented and I turned to him shocked that he would say that. His smile was hard and his eyes narrowed but I refused to break under his stare.

“What are you two doing?” I glanced up as Caydance’s tall figure loomed over us. I closed my sketchbook and stood up.

“Nothing, I’m just heading back to my dorm actually.” I told her, bending down to pick my bag up while Zayn hurried to his feet.

“Oh, don’t go because we came.” I spared the people behind Caydance a quick look; there were a few Grace girls I recognised and some guys that I didn’t know.

“I want to head back now anyway.” I tried to smile comfortingly at Caydance but I knew I missed the mark with the unsure way she smiled back, her eyes slightly downcast. I ducked my head and promised myself that I would have lunch with her soon to apologise.

“Indiana.” Zayn said softly, taking a step closer to me but I backed up, not meeting his eyes and giving a small wave to everyone before turning and hurrying across the lit Court feeling eyes on my back until I finally rounded a corner, my breathing short and erratic while my eyes stung. It wasn’t fair that Zayn thought that he could just push his way into my life and learn all the answers.


Cecile was spread out across the bed of her dorm while I grabbed the closest shoes to the door and slipped the brown boots over my socks.

“You can come with.” I told Cecile as she complained about being bored. She sat up on her elbows and smiled at me but shook her head.

“I should really do some readings for class.” She admitted with a small frown. Nodding, I waved before leaving the room and heading through the sparse hallways towards the furthermost café that Caydance insisted on meeting at. It was closer to her and further from me but I didn’t argue, knowing that she would probably be either angry about yesterday or very concerned.

Caydance wasn’t there when I arrived and I took a seat grabbing a book from my bag for my Research and Writing class, flipping open to the first page and settling in to read the story of a young girl who was claimed to have told Wilhelm Grimm a fair amount of the stories he recorded with his brother. I was interested in the plot line eager to find where the author was going to take it.

Unfortunately I didn’t get very far in before someone scraped the chair from across me. Caydance reached over to snatch the book from my hand, hey eyes moving assessing over the cover of ‘Wild Girl’.

“Good book, I read it last year when it came out.” I looked at her surprised. “I had an assignment that I decided to do about the Grimm brothers and I stumbled on this book, couldn’t resist reading it.” She further explained. I forgot sometimes that despite Caydance air of not caring she was actually well read; one of the reasons we first began talking was our love for literature, especially Atonement by Ian McEwan that we had to read in a class together.

“Don’t spoil anything for me.” I warned her, reaching over to grab the book by Kate Forsyth back, I did manage to knock the metal napkin dispenser onto the ground. Caydance snorted when everyone turned to look, I ducked down and quickly righted the dispenser onto the table before putting my book back in my bag.

“Fine I won’t tell you about the…” Smirking she trailed off at my glare and picked up the menu in front of her, her face composed in faux innocence. I sighed and narrowed in on my own menu, eyes lazily glancing over the menu but not really reading.

“Sooo…” Caydance voice was dramatic and dragged out, raising an eyebrow I continued to glance over the glossy menu. “About last night?” She ended it in a question and I tried not to sigh too loudly.

A waiter came to the table before she could start so we ordered, I tried to take as long as possible trying to prolong the inevitable and by the looks Caydance kept throwing me and the obvious kick under the table, I wasn’t getting away with it.

“You’re so rude.” I grumbled at her, reaching a hand down to rub where she had kicked my shin.

“What was with you and Zayn last night?” She hissed at me, pulling my attention from my shin.

“Nothing was with us. I was drawing and he joined me, insisted on talking really.” By refusing to answer Caydance properly or tell her what she wanted to know she was only going to badger me further.

“Did he say something to you?” Caydance voice was hard and I knew she was ready to reprimand Zayn if he had. “You seemed hurt and he told me to apologise to you.” I looked up at her in surprise that Zayn had wanted to apologise.

“It was nothing. He just said some things. Prying things.” I emphasised on the prying and glared at her, she rolled her own eyes and relaxed back in her seat I could tell by her face that she wasn’t ready to let this go. Sighing I looked around the café at the people surrounding us, most interested in their own conversations until I noticed a familiar head of dark curls leave the café with a coffee clenched tightly in one hand.

“Harry!” I yelled, waving my hand as the adorable freshmen turned and eyed the tables curiously. I heard Caydance betrayed gasp and her hand reached out to grip my arm trying to pull me down as I stood up and waved further.

“I’m going to kill you. Murder you in your sleep, slow and painfully, do not think you are going to get away with this.” I ignored Caydance death threats and smiled encouragingly at Harry as his eyes travelled from me to Caydance and back again. His shoulder hunched like he wasn’t sure but there was a small happy smile on his face.

“For Gods sake woman, I’m calling out to a friend not foiling your takeover the world plot.” I responded to her threats and sat back down in my chair once happy with the way Harry began to maneuver through the tables towards us, a shy smile playing along his features.

Caydance looked like she wanted to melt into her chair but it was the nervous twitch of her finger constantly tapping on the table that gave her away. She had the same twitch before every show I had seen her perform, constantly tapping her finger on anything around her like the steady stream of thud thud thud made her mind calmer, breathing easier. She was afraid of the dimpled green-eyed boy and I was left wondering why.
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So I'm back! So sorry for not posting for a whole and after all of your lovely comments that you guys sent in! Thank you xx
​But I was drowning in exams and assignments and I really didn't have time to stress about these chapters. But I'm back and finished with everything for a whole month!! ... before I have to go back and do it all again for another semester :( Winter holidays are way too short!
​Right well, I missed you all and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! xx​​​​