Lokasenna
A Trip Into Darkness
They had been coming into the cave almost every day for the past week and now that Sigyn had mastered the basics Loki wanted her to try more advanced magic. She had already tried to vanish objects on her own, but at that time she had only been practicing on little chips of wood. Loki had placed the bowl they had used before in front of her on the floor and they were both looking at it intently. After a few moments in which they stared at it in silence, the bowl seemed to flicker in the misty light. Loki folded his arms over his chest while Sig tried to stay focused. The bowl flickered again, this time it took longer before the silhouette became whole again. Sig could feel Loki, the way she could feel everything around her whenever she was concentrating hard, she could feel him wanting her to get it right this time. He was encouraging her, even though he was standing a few feet behind her and neither one of them had said anything since he had set the bowl in front of her and told her to start. It seemed to help her, because after another moment the bowl flickered again and then vanished. Sig turned around to Loki, beaming. He nodded approvingly, smiling as well. 'Now get it back,' he said quietly. Sig turned back to where the bowl had been and concentrated hard. She could feel the bowl, its essence was still present around them. She focused her efforts on making the material visible again. It took her a few minutes before she succeeded and the bowl started to flicker back into view. She gave a little cry of excitement. 'Well done,' Loki said lazily, walking back to join her. 'We can practice this a little longer, then when you have the hang of this we can start sending it somewhere else.'
'Is that the same thing you do when you transport us here?'
'Almost. It's a little more complicated to bring one person from one place to the other.'
'And I suppose two people is even harder?'
'It is, but it will become more easy once you get used to doing it.'
Sig thought for a moment, then asked: 'Whenever we disappear… the moment before we reappear we are surrounded by darkness. Is that the same place the bowl went when I made it vanish?'
'Yes, in a way.'
'What is that place?'
He deliberated for a moment, 'I am not entirely sure what it is. I have often thought it to be a place of non-being, but if it were we would not be able to travel through it.' It took Sig a few seconds to understand what he meant by "a place of non-being". But then she thought of the connection between her and everything around her that she experienced whenever she did magic and she realised that the non-being he spoke of must be the extended state of consciousness that came with performing magic: the complete separation from the ego.
After another hour Sig had managed to make the bowl disappear several more times and in the last half-hour she had even made it vanish and then reappear on another spot. She wanted to keep going, but it was time to return to the palace. When Loki came to stand next to her in order to transport them, stretching out a hand to her, she hesitated before taking hold of it.
'Could we… Would it be possible for us to.. I would like to have a better look at that place we pass through when we go back…'
'That is possible..' he replied, 'But you have to hold on to me, otherwise you might get lost.'
'Alright.' she said, excitedly, and she gripped his hand a little tighter. 'No,' he said, 'just holding my hand will be too risky.' And he pulled her to him, pressing her body to his. 'Put your arms around me.' he instructed. Tentatively, she reached around his torso, but he shook his head and took her arms to place them firmly around his neck instead. Sig glanced up at him, her head reached just to a little over his shoulders. He held her tightly by her waist and asked quietly: 'Ready?' she nodded in reply, locking her fingers behind his head to make sure she could not let go.
The cave disappeared and they were suspended in unending darkness. There was no longer any ground beneath them, their feet dangling in the vast, empty space that surrounded them. Sig could feel Loki pressing her even tighter to him, pulling her up a little bit so her face was level with his. She stared around, still holding on tight. There was little to be seen, but she could feel that connection between Loki and herself once more. It even seemed stronger here than any other time she had felt it in the cave. She could feel something else too, something warm.. as if someone had draped her with a blanket. She looked at Loki, who had had his eyes fixed on her from the moment they had disappeared. A glimmer passed over his eyes and Sig could feel the warmth intensify. They continued to stare at one another. Sig was no longer paying any attention to their surroundings. She hardly noticed when their feet hit solid ground again and they suddenly reappeared in the bathroom in the dungeons. They were still holding on to each other, their bodies still pressed tight together.
'Did… did you feel that too?' she whispered. He nodded, his eyes still fixed on hers. 'What was that?' she asked. 'I… don't exactly know.' he whispered, hesitantly. He continued to gaze at her, unblinkingly. She could feel him moving one hand from her waist to her neck. Transfixed, he ran his fingers gently over her skin. She could feel them on her neck, her collarbone, then up again until he was stroking her cheek. Her heart was beating so loud that she was sure he could hear it. She could not help but close her eyes in enjoyment for a moment, leaning in to his touch. When she opened her eyes again he murmured: 'You seem to have turned into a ghost again… Not the silent, fragile ghost I used to think you were…' he lifted his other arm from her waist and ran both his hands through her hair, 'You are no longer fragile, far from it… I can speak to you, touch you…' he ran one finger over her lips, 'And still… you haunt me.' Sig held her breath while she listened. 'You might have been visible to me before, but now I can feel you. I felt you there, in the darkness, it felt like standing next to a blazing fire.' She could feel his hand in her hair, moving to the back of her head and, pushing gently, he slowly brought her face close to his. They gazed at one another, and again Sig could see a faint glimmer pass over Loki's eyes.
He leaned in, hesitating a little. His eyes were searching her face for the faintest sign of permission. Not that he needed it, but he wanted it all the same. Then slowly, tentatively, she tilted her head slightly. The warmth they had both felt when they had been suspended in the dark seemed to rush through them again, as he leaned in closer and softly brushed his lips against hers. Sig trembled, but when he kissed her again, a little harder now, she could feel herself pressing her body closer to his. Nothing had ever felt so right. They kissed slowly, experimentally, but constantly as if some higher force kept bringing their lips together. He withdrew for a second to look at her: she smiled and bit her lip. Burning desire took hold of him at this sight and he kissed her again, deeper, even more passionate now. His hands left her hair and she felt them exploring the rest of her, making her shiver with eager excitement wherever he touched her.
'Is that the same thing you do when you transport us here?'
'Almost. It's a little more complicated to bring one person from one place to the other.'
'And I suppose two people is even harder?'
'It is, but it will become more easy once you get used to doing it.'
Sig thought for a moment, then asked: 'Whenever we disappear… the moment before we reappear we are surrounded by darkness. Is that the same place the bowl went when I made it vanish?'
'Yes, in a way.'
'What is that place?'
He deliberated for a moment, 'I am not entirely sure what it is. I have often thought it to be a place of non-being, but if it were we would not be able to travel through it.' It took Sig a few seconds to understand what he meant by "a place of non-being". But then she thought of the connection between her and everything around her that she experienced whenever she did magic and she realised that the non-being he spoke of must be the extended state of consciousness that came with performing magic: the complete separation from the ego.
After another hour Sig had managed to make the bowl disappear several more times and in the last half-hour she had even made it vanish and then reappear on another spot. She wanted to keep going, but it was time to return to the palace. When Loki came to stand next to her in order to transport them, stretching out a hand to her, she hesitated before taking hold of it.
'Could we… Would it be possible for us to.. I would like to have a better look at that place we pass through when we go back…'
'That is possible..' he replied, 'But you have to hold on to me, otherwise you might get lost.'
'Alright.' she said, excitedly, and she gripped his hand a little tighter. 'No,' he said, 'just holding my hand will be too risky.' And he pulled her to him, pressing her body to his. 'Put your arms around me.' he instructed. Tentatively, she reached around his torso, but he shook his head and took her arms to place them firmly around his neck instead. Sig glanced up at him, her head reached just to a little over his shoulders. He held her tightly by her waist and asked quietly: 'Ready?' she nodded in reply, locking her fingers behind his head to make sure she could not let go.
The cave disappeared and they were suspended in unending darkness. There was no longer any ground beneath them, their feet dangling in the vast, empty space that surrounded them. Sig could feel Loki pressing her even tighter to him, pulling her up a little bit so her face was level with his. She stared around, still holding on tight. There was little to be seen, but she could feel that connection between Loki and herself once more. It even seemed stronger here than any other time she had felt it in the cave. She could feel something else too, something warm.. as if someone had draped her with a blanket. She looked at Loki, who had had his eyes fixed on her from the moment they had disappeared. A glimmer passed over his eyes and Sig could feel the warmth intensify. They continued to stare at one another. Sig was no longer paying any attention to their surroundings. She hardly noticed when their feet hit solid ground again and they suddenly reappeared in the bathroom in the dungeons. They were still holding on to each other, their bodies still pressed tight together.
'Did… did you feel that too?' she whispered. He nodded, his eyes still fixed on hers. 'What was that?' she asked. 'I… don't exactly know.' he whispered, hesitantly. He continued to gaze at her, unblinkingly. She could feel him moving one hand from her waist to her neck. Transfixed, he ran his fingers gently over her skin. She could feel them on her neck, her collarbone, then up again until he was stroking her cheek. Her heart was beating so loud that she was sure he could hear it. She could not help but close her eyes in enjoyment for a moment, leaning in to his touch. When she opened her eyes again he murmured: 'You seem to have turned into a ghost again… Not the silent, fragile ghost I used to think you were…' he lifted his other arm from her waist and ran both his hands through her hair, 'You are no longer fragile, far from it… I can speak to you, touch you…' he ran one finger over her lips, 'And still… you haunt me.' Sig held her breath while she listened. 'You might have been visible to me before, but now I can feel you. I felt you there, in the darkness, it felt like standing next to a blazing fire.' She could feel his hand in her hair, moving to the back of her head and, pushing gently, he slowly brought her face close to his. They gazed at one another, and again Sig could see a faint glimmer pass over Loki's eyes.
He leaned in, hesitating a little. His eyes were searching her face for the faintest sign of permission. Not that he needed it, but he wanted it all the same. Then slowly, tentatively, she tilted her head slightly. The warmth they had both felt when they had been suspended in the dark seemed to rush through them again, as he leaned in closer and softly brushed his lips against hers. Sig trembled, but when he kissed her again, a little harder now, she could feel herself pressing her body closer to his. Nothing had ever felt so right. They kissed slowly, experimentally, but constantly as if some higher force kept bringing their lips together. He withdrew for a second to look at her: she smiled and bit her lip. Burning desire took hold of him at this sight and he kissed her again, deeper, even more passionate now. His hands left her hair and she felt them exploring the rest of her, making her shiver with eager excitement wherever he touched her.