Nothing Else Matters

I took a deep breath; I stared at the shell of my mother trying to think of what to say.

"Hey mom." I whispered afraid to talk any louder.

"Hello!" She said brightly.

I wasn't sure if she knew who I was.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine sweetie. Are you here to turn in your paper?" She asked with a smile.

I decided to play along. "Well Miss. Lopez I was hoping to come and talk to you before I did. I wasn't sure about how I would end it."

"What is your thesis?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I know my paper is going to be on the way the media is affecting young people today. How it can lead to violence and eating disorders and such." I said brightly as I was slowly dying inside. My mother had no idea who I was. She thought I was one of her students.

"Ah! Yes that is a topic I feel strongly about! The media can be such a horrid thing. Don't tell anyone I told you this, but I believe the media's prevalence of the whole 'thin is in' led to my own daughter’s eating disorder. Yes that is a very good topic." She whispered to me.

I licked my lips. God she was talking about me to me and she didn't even realize it. Why did I have to visit on one of her bad days?
"Thank you Miss. Lopez. I think I know where I will go with my paper."

She looked surprised for a second. Then her face lit up. "I'm so glad you are making progress with such little effort on my part! You are a very bright student!"

"Thank you. I'll see you at our next session?"

"Yes, yes. I'll see you then."

With that I walked away. As soon as my back was turned I let the tears fall. Had I really let my visits go so far apart that my own mother didn't know who I was?

I walked out of the San Francisco mental institution with my head held high. I wouldn't let this get to me...I wouldn't.

My apartment seemed emptier than usual. There was nothing but the echo of my own voice to welcome me. In a way I was thankful for that. My whole life I feared my own genetics, I feared one of these days I would begin to hear the same voices that plagued my mother. The voices no one else could hear.

I laid down in bed burying my head into my pillow to quite my neighbor’s TV blaring through the thin walls. Finally I fell into a light sleep; waking every time my neighbor John laughed at some stupid joke.

A loud noise woke me…Then another…and another. I stared at the clock, 2 A.M.

“Ugh!” I growled throwing my blankets off and slipping on my slippers. I stalked through the apartment throwing open my front door. I banged on my neighbor’s door.

“Natalie will you keep it down?” I yelled through the door.

Breaking glass.

“Natalie?” I yelled pressing my ear to the door.

My heart was pounding as I decided whether I should try opening the door.

“Natalie…I’m coming in.”

The knob flew from my hands and I was thrown against the wall as a tall man stormed out of my neighbor’s apartment. A scream caught in my throat as I saw his clothes covered in blood…and those eyes.

They were deep blue and crazed. It seemed as if he was staring into my very soul. He stopped for a second and stared at me. I was frozen against the wall. He looked me up and down and ran past.

Finally I began to walk into Natalie’s apartment, “Nat?” I whispered.

“Natalie? It’s me Isabella.” I whispered sliding my hand against the wall making my way to the bedroom. The apartment was dark and I slipped on something. I fell flat on my face at the bedroom door. Something warm and sticky clung to my face, the scent of iron and salt flooding my senses.

I lifted myself up and found the bedroom light switch and screamed at the sight before me.

Natalie was splayed across her bed “SINNER” written along the wall and I was covered in her blood