Status: On hiatus and probable rewrite. The beginning is actual shit.

You & I

{Kieran and Serena}

Riley immediately sat up, “are you sure?”

“Unless I pissed my fucking pants, which I did not do!” I snapped at him.

“It’s too early,” he mumbled as he climbed out of the bed, “come on.”

I sniffed as tears filled my eyes and we slipped shoes on before leaving the apartment. We climbed into the car and another sharp pain hit me.

Contractions. Shit.

I sucked in a deep breath as Riley sped to the hospital.

Everything after arriving at the hospital was a blur. I was being wheeled away by nurses and doctors were spouting possibilities to Riley. I couldn’t focus on anything besides how the hell my babies would survive at 29 weeks.

I did manage to catch that I was in labor and they were going to try to slow it down. Before I knew it, they placed me in a room and had an IV ready to stick in my arm.

I whimpered and Riley grabbed my hand.

I’m terrified of needles.

“This may keep you rest of term, but you’re going to have to stay here, Ms. Lawrence,” the nurse said and I sniffled.

Riley called my father and he was soon sitting in the room with us while I tried to get some sleep.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get much before I started to cramp up and machines started to beep. Nurses and a doctor rushed in and I looked at Riley fearfully.

“Ms. Lawrence, Mr. Henderson,” the doctor spoke.

“Yes?” We responded.

“We have to take the babies via c-section.”

I nodded. I could deal with surgery.

“Right now. Prep her for the operation.”

My eyes widened. I didn’t think they meant right now! “No! No! They won’t survive! Please, doctor, you can’t take them now!”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Lawrence,” he responded.

Everything happened in a blur and before I knew it Riley and I were in the operating room with a curtain on my middle. He was sitting by my head and I held his hand. The doctor was giving instructions to the nurses, but I only focused on staying calm for my children.

Kieran and Serena needed to be okay.

I guess they had cut into me already, because the doctor began to talk about seeing a head.

“Here’s baby A: a boy!”

A tiny cry filled the room and I saw a nurse crack a smile. She touched my head, “his lungs are working a little better than expected. We’re going to take him to the NICU, but he seems strong.”

Riley stared as a few nurses rushed out of the room with Kieran and the doctor let out a noise that wasn’t reassuring.

“Oh no.”

Now let me tell you something: you do not want to hear your doctor say ‘oh no’.

“What?” Riley asked.

“Check her lungs!” the doctor yelled, ignoring Riley.

I waited and waited, but no cry came like it did with Kieran.

“Riley,” I whispered and he kissed my hand.

“It’s going to be okay, Eden.”

“Get her to the NICU now!” The doctor ordered and they rushed Serena away while sticking tubes in her.

“Oh no,” the doctor said.

Fuck, not again.

The machine by my head began to beep and everything was becoming fuzzy.

“Mr. Henderson, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Why?” he questioned, “what is going on?”

She touched his shoulder and began to lead him away, “do you know her blood type?

“She’s AB negative and anemic. Why? Is she bleeding too much?”

The nurse nodded and he quickly turned around.

“I love you,” Riley whispered as he placed a kiss to my head.

“I love you too.”

∆∆∆∆

“Is this punishment for premarital sex?” I heard Riley whisper, “I’m so sorry, God. Please. Please let this be a dream. I’ll marry her and I’ll go to church, please. Just let this be a dream.”

I cracked one eye opened and flinched at the light. Riley was kneeling with his hands folded.

He was praying.

After a few moments of sobbing, he began to speak again, “Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death.”

Riley let out another sob before he began to repeat, “Hail Mary, full of grace…”

“You know I’m not catholic, right?” I croaked out.

Riley’s head whipped up and he stood quickly, kissing my head. “I’m so happy you’re awake.”

He handed me a cup of water and I looked around, “how are the babies?”

Riley’s brown eyes were cast down and I felt my heart rate pick up. “Where are Squirt and Peanut?”

“Serena didn’t...” he whispered, voice cracking before he choked, “she was only alive for ten minutes.”

I don’t know how to explain what happened next. It was like time stopped as my heart split in two. My hands reached out for my belly, but I was met with softer skin that was slightly smaller than when I was pregnant. A pained cry filled the room as I sobbed and I covered my face. Doing the c-section without anesthesia would have hurt less than this. I only managed to catch a glimpse of her and in my drugged state, I couldn’t remember what color hair she had.

“No. I didn’t even get to hold her,” I choked out.

I kept repeating that sentence as Riley cried from his spot next to me.

“It isn’t fair!” I yelled.

Why was my daughter taken from me?

∆∆∆∆

Four days after I woke up, Riley wasn’t doing any better. He spent all of his time staring out the window. He would only eat when he absolutely needed and sleep seemed to evade him.

I definitely wasn’t little miss sunshine, but I had to be strong for Kieran who was improving everyday.

Today, I was finally allowed to go see Kieran, but Riley didn’t want to come with me.

“I’m not going, Eden!” Riley snapped and I bit my lip.

“He’s your son,” I whispered.

“I just can’t see him now,” he spoke, “not after losing Serena.”

Anger boiled inside of me. He was not going to see our son, because he survived and our daughter didn’t.

“You are a jackass, Riley Henderson!”

Riley’s jaw clenched and he grabbed his coat, “I need to go.”

“Run away from your problems like a little bitch!” I yelled as he opened the door and walked away, “If you leave, don’t bother to come back!”

I sat on the bed and placed my head in my hands. Everything had been going so well; I should have known it would all come crashing down.

“Ms. Lawrence?”

Wiping my cheeks, I turned around and gave a tight smile to the nurse, “can I go see him?”

She nodded and looked around the room, “where’s Mr. Henderson?”

“Gone.”

She looked like she was going to say something, but decided against it, “follow me.”

I nodded and followed her to the NICU, wishing that Riley wasn’t such a douche so he’d be here with me. We entered a small room with a medical looking crib in the middle. A tiny body laid in the crib.

“Kieran,” I whispered and took a tentative step closer.

He had a mess on dark hair on his head and a tube was sticking out of his nose.

I covered my mouth to keep a sob in. He was so small. “How much does he weigh?” I asked.

“Three pounds.”

Swiping at my eyes, I disinfected my hands before sitting in the chair next to the crib.

“He’s doing well. There’s still a while before you can take him home, but he’s much stronger than we anticipated,” the nurse spoke.

I gave her a teary smile, when I noticed something. “Why is he squirming around like that?”

The nurse walked closer and looked into the crib, “hmm. I don’t know actually. It looks like he’s…”

“Searching for something,” I finished, “he’s searching for Serena.”

I stuck my hand in one of the holes and Kieran grasped my finger. Sucking in a deep breath, I looked up.

Riley should have been here.

∆∆∆∆

I had been discharged from the hospital and my dad drove me home in silence. He was afraid of saying something that would cause me to burst into tears, I’m sure.

The radio began to play that same classic rock song that was sung to me when I was a child. I ran a hand over my cheeks to catch my tears as my father hummed along.

“This was the only thing that would put you to sleep,” my father whispered.

“It still puts me to sleep,” I responded with a slight laugh.

“Hopefully, you’ll sing more average lullabies to Kieran.”

I shook my head, “nothing about Riley and me is normal.”

He pulled into the parking lot in front of the building and I picked up my bag as I climbed out.

“Are you sure you can carry that, Eden?”

Nodding, I quickly walked off and entered the building. It didn’t take long to get to my floor and I unlocked the door.

As soon as I stepped in, I kicked a bottle of whiskey. Letting out a sigh, I winced as I picked it up and walked further into the living room. I was still sore from surgery. Riley was laying across the couch with a half empty bottle of tequilla next to him.

“Jesus Christ!” I cursed and dropped my things. The living room was wrecked and Riley moved his hand.

“Eden?” He mumbled, “I must be dreaming.”

I snorted, “no, but you’re gonna wish you were! What the hell happened here?”

He let out a soft sob and I kneeled next to him, “I love you.”

“You’re still drunk.”

“I love you and I love our children, but I can’t look at Kieran without thinking of the daughter we lost,” he slurred.

Shaking my head, I ran a hand through his hair, “we may have lost Serena, but we still have one child to care for. We can’t let anything get in the way of that. He lost someone too.”

Riley closed his eyes, “how is he?”

“They said he’s doing great considering…” I trailed off, “he looks just like you.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Don't hate me...

I'm sorry if the Hail Mary prayer was offensive to anyone. I just figured it'd be a insight to Riley's character. I'm also sorry if it's wrong or something. I'm not Catholic so idk.


Fun fact: my dad really did sing that song to me when I was little.