You Are My Sunshine

Alex had just walked into the house with his briefcase and a stack of papers in his hand. He had just sat all of them down on the kitchen counter as he called out for Zack. "Babe, where are you?"

Zack didn't answer as he leaned against the frame of the backdoor in the living room. He was staring out into the backyard at his two children, Jason and Carlye.

"Babe," Alex called out again as he walked into the living room. He walked up behind Zack, as Zack still hasn't answered. He wrapped his arms around Zack and pressed a kiss to his neck.

"Happy birthday," Alex whispered into Zack's ear. "I'm surprised you're not dressed to go to dinner. You and Jason love going there."

Zack just nodded as he kept watching the two children. He didn't respond, he was too busy staring out of the window. Moments before he had been out there with them, but he didn't voice that either.

"Okay," Alex said warily. "I'm going to go get showered and ready to go."

Zack didn't respond at all, instead he walked out into the backyard and approached his children.

He picked Jason up and moved him away from Carlye watching as he fell to his side. Jason was a skinny four year old with hazel eyes and unruly brown hair. He was three years older than Carlye, who took more after Alex than Zack.

Zack had left his job when he had Carlye. She was turning one at the end of May. Zack neglected her a lot, but Alex never saw it, because once he was home Carlye was with him the whole time. Zack wasn't always the best with Jason either, but he was better.

Zack carried Carlye into the house and to her nursery. He laid her in her crib, clothes still on even though they were dirty. He pulled her blanket over her as he heard the shower turn off. He pulled her door shut as he left and then went back to the backyard.

He sat down beside Jason sitting him up, and pulling the little boy into his lap. He ran his hand through his sons hair. Staring straight ahead.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," he whispered, starting to rock side to side. "You make me happy when skies are gray," he continued singing the song softly.

The backdoor opened and closed as Alex walked outside. "Why did you put Carlye to bed?"

Zack only continued to sing the song. He ignored Alex and wouldn't even look at him. He repeated the verse again while Alex walked in front of him.

Alex's mouth fell open as he saw Jason's limp body in Zack's arms with blood dried on the front of both of their shirts. "What the hell did you do?" Alex yelled at Zack as tears started to stream down his face.

Zack just smiled up at Alex. "It's okay." Then he ran his hand through Jason's hair again, and started the song again.

Alex ran back into the house and straight to Carlye's room. He threw the door open and rushed to her crib. He picked her up seeing blood on her onesie. He clutched her to him and held her as tightly as he could.

"No, no, no," he kept repeating the word as he sank to the floor. He couldn't believe that something like this was happening to him. What the hell Zack was thinking, Alex couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Zack continued to sit outside as the sun started to set. He watched as the sky was painted with shades of reds and oranges. The clouds seemed still in the sky and Zack smiled.

"It's a beautiful night for heaven to welcome you, jason," Zack told his lifeless son. "Hell will suit Carlye just fine."

Zack sang one more time to his son as the sky started to turn darker and then stood up. "We should put you to bed." He picked Jason up and walked back into the house.

He placed Jason in his bed and folded his hands on his chest. "It's all okay now, Jas," Zack muttered, kissing his son's forehead. "All okay," he reiterated.

He walked out into the hallway and back to Carlye's room. He saw Alex crying on the floor and rushed over to his side.

"Get away from me!" Alex screamed at his husband.

Zack looked mortified and shook his head. "Alex, I don't understand."

"You killed our children, Zack!" Alex shouted at him as he held Carlye tighter. "My children," Alex sobbed.

"Baby," Zack started softly. "It's better for all of us."

"My children!" Alex screamed again. "How could you do this to them? You were supposed to love them, me, us!" Tears were continuing to fall from Alex's eyes.

"I thought this was what you wanted."

Alex stood up, still holding their daughter. "You thought I wanted to hold our dead daughter in our arms while she's covered in blood from a knife you used to cut her?" Alex couldn't understand what the fuck was going through Zack's mind now and especially when he had murdered their children.

"You said you miss when we use to spend time together, just us. You said it last night, baby." Zack had only acted on what he thought Alex had wanted. "Jason was always acting up, and Carlye constantly cried. This is better. They can't misbehave anymore. Jason's already in bed."

As Zack spoke, Alex was being blinded by anger. He shook his head in disbelief. "I'm going to make sure you know how our children felt," Alex told his husband through gritted teeth, as he placed Carlye in back her crib.

Alex went and opened the knife drawer grabbing a knife. He just wanted it to cause damage to Zack and the knife he grabbed he thought would do just that. Alex just wanted his husband to know how Carlye and Jason felt. Except, Zack got to live many more years and it wasn't fair, Alex realized as he slammed the knife drawer shut.

Alex found Zack in their room after he looked in Carlye's room. He narrowed his eyes at Zack and quickly walked over to him with his hand holding the knife tightly. He was holding the knife so that the butt of the handle was against his thumb, and the rest if the handle was engulfed by his hand.

He pushed the knife into Zack's upper arm, and pulled it out, stabbing him again in the arm not hearing the cries Zack was letting out.

He pulled the knife from Zack's arm again. And then held the knife at the artery in his husband's neck. Alex was breathing heavily as he stared at Zack who's eyes were begging him not to. Alex could ignore that.

Zack had his hand covering what he could of his other arm to try and keep pressure on it. There were tears wetting his cheeks as he stared at Alex.

"You killed our children," Alex whispered as tears started to fall from his eyes. "Our little ones will never know what it feels like live. You took that from them." Alex started to put more pressure on the knife. "And I fucking hate you for it," Alex cried out as he pushed the knife in, and pulled it out again just to push it back in. He kept doing it as blood gushed and hit him. He only stopped when he couldn't bare to exert anymore force.

Alex dropped the knife to the floor and stared at Zack. He ran his hand down his husband's face. "Now you know, baby," he told Zack's lifeless body. He kissed Zack's forehead and then sat down beside him.

He sang the same verse he heard Zack sing to Jason, all the while he had a small smile on his face. When he finished singing, he looked around the room.

Alex saw all the blood around the room. Panic started to settle into his mind as he came to the realization that he just killed his husband and now there were three bodies in his house with knife wounds, and he could probably be blamed for all of them.

He grabbed the knife and held it against his own neck knowing he had two options and killing himself was one of them. His other options was to run. He had watched show after show of people being able to survive after committing a murder. He just had to be smart.

Running sounded better than dying. He knew he'd have to live with knowing he killed Zack, and that effected Zack's entire family, but he was effected by what Zack had done, and his own family is effected by all of it. He could survive knowing he gave Zack the payback he deserved.

He grabbed a bag and threw whatever he could get his hands on, clothing wise, into it. He left everything for work where it had been since he got home, and then walked to his car. He'd have to get rid of his car quick.

During the night, he find somewhere to set it on fire or he could put something on the peddle and drive it over a river bank. that'd probably work better. Either would bring attention, but maybe if it was in the water, the police would think he drowned while trying to get out. That was how he was going to do it. He'd just need to drive toward a river.

He got into the car and drove as far as he could without needing gas, which was only about sixty miles across the state line. He pulled into the shadiest gas station and paid for gas with cash, he was going to have to find some way to get money from his bank account. Maybe he could find someone to take his debit card and take money out. Wear a mask when they go to the machine to withdraw money.

He drove for three more hours until he knew he needed to sleep. He was driving southwest. He had to get to Mexico. He could get there and move on with his life. He pulled onto the side of a country road, hoping the cops weren't already looking for him. Pulling off the road here was safer than being on a highway.

After sleeping for a few hours, Alex drove until he got into Arkansas, only needing to stop for gas twice. Now that he was west of the Mississippi River, he could try to get rid of his car. His plan was Mexico, but getting rid of his car now would be better. He could probably take a bus or figure out a way to Mexico.

He found somewhere remote along the river, and waited for the sunset to go down. He'd wait until there weren't a lot of people around, and then he'd leave everything except cash in his car. Alex would somehow need to get money, even it meant selling himself for it.

At eleven o'clock at night, Alex placed a rock on his gas pedal, with the car in drive. He moved from the doorway quickly and slammed his door shut, the window open. He tried to make it look like there was someone in there, as much as he could. Then he walked the opposite direction. He heard the car hit the water, and smiled to himself.



Money had been coming easy to Alex, really. He had been going into bars and meeting guys, he'd sleep with them and then blush and ask for twenty dollars while batting his eyelashes. It worked most times. Once, it ended with him getting puched, kicked, and spit on in a motel. But, the guy left five dollars, so it was worth it, in Alex's mind.

He had stopped going by Alex, and instead introduced himself as Carson after he ended up near Dallas. He figured after two months it was no longer safe to continue to go by Alex.

After two weeks of being near Dallas, Alex met a really nice college student, John, from Arizona. He was attending the University of Dallas, with plans to transfer to Arizona State University before the spring semester started. That was three weeks away, though.
When Alex told John he had no where to stay, John offered his room, and Alex gladly accepted the offer. He spent several nights in John's room. And John brought him food, so he didn't need to worry about getting money to buy it. John was too nice, and Alex was taking advantage.

"So, do you plan to go to school?" John asked as he and Alex laid in John's bed. They had just fucked for the second time (once before John's eight am class, and now it was after dinner).

Alex shrugged. "They don't usually let people who are in the country illegally go to school." Alex had told John his family was from Cuba. (And somehow, John believed him.)

John propped himself up on his elbow. "Why don't you try to become a citizen?" The hopeful look on John's face crushed Alex. Alex was getting sick of lying to John. He really liked him. But he had lied about his name, place of birth, age, why he was on his own, and really whatever there was to lie about, Alex did lie about.

Alex shrugged. "I probably won't stay much longer since it's not safe." That caused John's face to fall.

John was silent for a while, and Alex just felt awful. What was he supposed to do? There wasn't anything, really.

"Do you talk to anyone in your family?"

Alex was confused by the question, but decided not to question John's. "My mom, sometimes." He had said his dad was forced to go back to Cuba and didn't make it. He was still really unsure of why John was still believing what he said.

John let his head fall back onto his bed and then his head snapped up. "Move to Arizona with me. We'll figure out a way to get you a job and we'll get you into a college!"

Alex shook his head. "That's ridiculous."

John rolled his eyes. "Carson, just let me help you."

Alex sighed sitting up. John was too attached, and quite frankly Alex was depending on the twenty year old, way too much. Alex was almost twenty seven, but lied and said he was only twenty three. "I have to leave."

"You have no where to go," John so kindly pointed out to Alex.

"Yeah, I know. But I'll figure it out. I can't stay here." Alex moved from John's bed, and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans.

"You can stay here for as long as you like," John informed Alex.

Alex threw down the shirt he had been holding in his arms. "That's the issue! Soon I'm going to fall in love with you, and if I'm lucky you'll fall in love with me. And we'll manage to make something work money wise since I can't work. And then you'll get pregnant one of these times and then one day I'll come home and you'll have killed the kids and I'll kill you and then I'll be on the run lying about who I am just to stay out of jail. And I can't do that again." Alex was pacing and rubbing his hands on the back of his neck.

"Um," John started staring down at his neon green and gray plaid comforter. "I don't know how to respond to that. Are you who you say you are or...?" John trailed off.

Alex shook his head. "No. But, I need you to not say anything. I'll never speak to you again, just keep your mouth shut."

John nodded. "Yeah, of course." Really he was trying to engrave every detail about Alex that he could. "What's your real name?"

Alex's guard was down. He trusted John, so he didn't have an issue telling him. "It's Alex. I changed it right before I met you." Alex put his T-shirt on and grabbed his shoes. He put them on and looked over at John who was staring at him. "Um, alright. I'm going to leave. Thank you for everything."

"Where do you think you'll go?"

Alex shrugged. "Probably start going back east, maybe to Florida to see if I can get to Cuba."

John chuckled. "Okay." He stretched out to reach his nightstand. "Here's my credit card, I'll cancel it in three days, saying I lost it. Just try not to spend too much."

Alex shook his head. "I can't do that, but thank you."

John smiled. "Really, I insist. They'll refund it if I say it was stolen."

Alex debated on taking the card, but he really didn't have money so having that credit card would be nice. He sighed and took it from John. "Since you insist." Alex have John a smile and walked to the door.

"Thank you," he told John. He opened the door and then left.



Alex was sitting at a truck stop restaurant on some highway. He didn't even remember what state he was in. He had used John's credit card several times, but today was day three, and he needed to save money. So, trading himself for money again was going to have to be that way.

He had just finished letting some older guy fuck him and he wasn't very attractive and liked to call Alex princess. He paid him a hundred dollars, so whatever.

He was waiting hoping for another guy to want to fuck him or get him to another town when he saw three police vehicles come into the truck stop. Alex realized they didn't have a truck pulled over.

Panic washed over his face again and he ran into the bathroom hoping he wasn't seen. Once he was in the bathroom he looked around for an escape, but there was only one, and that was the door he came in through.

Alex sat in the only stall in the bathroom. He was crouching on the toilet just hoping the police would leave. Or, maybe they weren't even there for him. He could only hope.

The door opened and Alex jumped significantly, but was sure the person didn't hear him move. The door opened and shut three minutes later and Alex let out the air he was holding in his lungs as to not breathe.

He wasn't sure how long he was sitting in the stall. He heard the door open and close several times, but otherwise no one had been calling out for him. He thought he could get out and leave. Find a trucker who would let him suck them off to get to another truck stop. Hell he'd let them do whatever just so he could get the fuck out of where the police seemed to be for him (but, maybe they weren't).

When he left the bathroom, he saw the three police cars still sitting in the parking lot. He had the option of going back in the bathroom, or trying to escape the building. He started to increase his pace to the door, when he heard someone call out, “Alexander Gaskarth, you’re under arrest for the murder of Zachary Gaskarth, Carlye Gaskarth, and Jason Gaskarth .”

He was caught. He just froze where he was, and waited for a police officer to handcuff him. The handcuffs were placed on his wrists, and his Miranda Rights were read to him.

As he was being placed in the car he started singing. “You Are My Sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.”