Love Is the End

I couldn't remember the last time he held my hand like the way he was now, applying a gentle pressure and stroke against the back of it and dancing his fingers with mine. Completed with a softened look upon his face and a flush of his cheeks from the intimacy of his actions, I could feel the fidelity radiate from his core. There was a heat that engrossed me, despite the air within the car still biting and clawing at my skin from its cold personality, and I knew it was being vented out from the heart of the man next to me. Although his yin-and-yang-shaped eyes never reached my porcelain-plate-sized ones, there was a prominent wane of what callous emotions he displayed just a moment before. A revelation struck him as soon as he swore and since then, his fierce wall began to melt into a puddle of regret and benevolence. He was a sentimental character, a representative of zeal.

"I know you're sorry, Sid." I broke the silence, silently wishing there was music playing from the radio to fill in the void that would make its appearance again after my last syllable and consonant faded out.

There was a slight jerk of his body at the sound of my voice even though it was mumbled and shouldn't have caused much fright. His gaze, however, never hitched from its spot on the steering wheel, and instead only grew more focused on the silver embellishment and leather surrounding it.

"Still, it wasn't necessary for me to snap at you."

"But that wasn't your intention, so I understand. Hockey can rattle you up."

A stalemate was reached between us, and so I took that opportunity to slip my hand away from his. The door handle filling in the empty gap from my fingers and palm was pulled, allowing a bitter stream of frost to smack me in the face. My heart felt deflated as I made my way outside, viewing this motion as inconsiderate, to leave the man I loved with a mindset of grief. Yet, my brain ripped me from my power and screamed that I was doing the right thing, to let the circumstances rest before inevitably catching fire again.

Before sealing the door shut I looked down to Sidney one last time, only shock overwhelmed me at the sight of him already staring back. The white in his eyes were bloodshot, and the color of his irises darker than usual. There was something bothering him to the extent of nearly crying, and I had a feeling it was because of me.

"It will never happen again."

I averted my stare to the cement. "If you're making a promise that's only to be broken, then I hope you realize what you're getting yourself into..."

"I don't need to make a promise with you about this," he said. "I'm stating a fact."

The words that echoed into the night brought a smile to face; they were almost like a lullaby, mesmerizing me to sleep out of what happiness it sung to me. I felt a calm demeanor settle around us like a fog, and at that moment I knew it was time to make my departure. However, Sidney must have misinterpreted the disturbance in the air as a kick to react on something rather than allow everything to rest as it was. He snapped the car door open, flew up from his seat, and stalked his way over to me. His feet stopped a couple inches from mine as he and I entered each other's personal bubble.

"Please, don't let this dwell on us, babe." He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug.

My body instantly returned his embrace like a common ritual. There Sidney was: a few inches taller than me, given the perfect chance to nestle his cheek onto the top of my head. His thumb habitually went to caress my back, and the hold around me gradually tightened with affection. My face was smooshed against his chest, nose breathing in the fresh scent he gave off. The thought that swam around in my head was the same as any other time Sid hugged me, and it was that he was the human equivalent of a pillow.

"I won't," I muffled into the cloth of his hoodie, "just as long as you won't."

"It'll slip from my mind as soon as I fall asleep, I assure you that."

"Then it should for me, too."

We separated from one another, slow to let our arms return to our sides. A cold wall came between us immediately as a gush of wind came searing from above. Our bodies were chilled to the heart, and so we both decided that we needed to get into some place warm. I would be steamed alive from the interior of my home, and Sidney would be defrosted from the heater in his car until he arrived to his own house.

With one last look over his stature, I turned on my heel. "Goodnight, Sid."

"Goodnight."

And it was at that moment I concluded love was the end to all days, whether they be good or bad, or even a mixture of both.